The Gaze and the Glance
by Shelbie's Whatchamacallit
Summary: Just a pair of shadows dancing in the dark. And they happen to mean the world to each other. Nightcrawler/OC. Now officially M, mostly for language and future events.
1. Chapter 1

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Hello Everyone, welcome to my newest project. Which I already changed the title of because there were like, three other stories about Nightcrawler with the same title. I don't like to seem like I plagiarize. :) This is a story about X-Men (In case you haven't already determined that), specifically, Nightcrawler and my OC, formally known as Eclipse. Basically, it's just a little sweet friendship/romance story about the two. Now, the important stuff. A: I have no idea what story arc this is really in. It's got elements of several (And nobody is dead yet). Mostly the newer ones I suppose though. Not so much the cartoons. Essentially though, it's one I made up for the most part, but there will likely be references to actual comic events later. __B: In my story, Eclipse/Julia is portrayed as Kurt's first kinda serious romantic interest, so no mentions of Amanda or Wanda or anything like that really, mostly because I didn't want to complicate matters for myself too much. :) C: Kurt's personality is kind of a mix of several of the versions of him. This is mostly because I find different aspects of his personality useful for different parts of the story. So I blended. Anywho, that was a long one. So, I have most of this written already, and thus, will try to update once a week or so as I clean it up and such. _

_You can find links to pictures of Julia in my profile. Please keep in mind I in no way claim to be an artist, and I drew them myself, so the proportions and such are a bit wonky. Also I have no scanner, so I had to take photos of them and upload them. :)_

___Disclaimer goes here. "The Gaze and the Glance" is from a book I read a couple years ago. Can't remember the title. ___

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

_It's really terrible to be gifted in times like these. _Julia thought as she kept her head low, passing yet another Purifier arrest by the MRD. Sure, they arrested them, but very rarely did a jury convict the anti-mutant crazies, and even if they did, it was usually only a slap on the wrist for collateral damage. Didn't anyone notice how wrong this was? Or did no one else notice how much the Purifiers had in common with the Nazis? Maybe no one else in the gathering noticed because she was the only one in the crowd who filled the definition of 'gifted'. Granted, she also had a highly destructive potential to her powers, which she supposed made it a moot point. If she were a normal human, she wouldn't want someone who could morph into a living void wandering the streets either. Which is exactly what she was; a potentially dangerous phenomenon wrapped in the body of a human. Julia had learned, at a very young age, that she was able to literally transform her body into some kind of dark, plasma-like material. She became an amorphous black-body of herself, capable of not only absorbing energy, nearly all forms of it, but she also became nearly indestructible, her body always managing to bend and prevent or absorb impact. This power had saved her life once, but even now she wondered if it was really so benevolent a mutation. She glanced at her fingers, letting only the very tips shift into the shadowy black form; potentially dangerous, just like everything else about her. The void substance she could shift into also made for a sharp, effective weapon; as indestructible as the rest of her. She could probably fight the Purifiers, if she wanted to. They probably wouldn't be able to hurt her.

Still, was it worthwhile to get involved with the fight when she alone could make so little difference? Her particles became unstable in her shadow form, as she called it. The longer she held it, the better her chance of losing control and absorbing all the energy around her, even that within the human body. And not only that, if she stayed fully transformed too long, her molecules literally started to pull themselves apart. Left unchecked, she figured she would simply vanish into invisibly small particles of shadow floating around, probably never to be reunited again. She would cease to exist, and that scared her more than the possibility of death; death at least had the chance of an afterlife included. And if she did pick a fight with the Purifiers, she knew it would be long one. She couldn't risk allowing herself to become unstable that way; if she did, she would end up doing more damage than good.

_I wish...I wish I could do more though. I don't like just sitting on the sidelines. _

She crossed the street and entered her apartment building, pressing the button for her floor. As it stood, she couldn't help much, so for now discretion would have to prove the better part of valor, and she'd just have to stay out of the way, and off the Purifiers' radar. She could only act defensively, anything else was too risky.

She had only been reading on her couch for an hour or so when she heard more sirens down in the street. She recognized the wail as different than the one the police usually used.

_More MRD? Is it some sort of Mutant uprising?_ Curious, Julia set her book aside and walked to the window, but being on the seventeenth floor she was much too far away to see anything clearly. She could only sigh, and pull the curtains closed, hoping they didn't start going door to door again.

As she turned, an unusual sound and a smell like brimstone reached her ears and nose, and before she was able to fully turn and register what the it was, her coffee table broke under the weight of what appeared to be a man. She shrieked slightly in surprise, stumbling backwards while her powers instantly acted on the defensive, her body morphing partially into it's dark state, her right arm melting into a claw-like appendage, prepared for attack. However, she held back rather than lashing out with no questions, this stranger still hadn't so much as twitched, which for the moment meant he wasn't a threat. Her eyes began seeking out where he had gotten into her apartment, or where he had come from, but other than the coffee table, everything was still in tact. How had he gotten there? She crept a step closer, unsure of whether it was the smart thing to do, but knew that her powers would act defensively again if he became a threat; she would either absorb or avoid the attack. She hoped anyway.

"Uhm...Excuse me? Can you hear me?" She knelt next to him on the floor, and reached out to touch his shoulder with the hand not converted into darkness. He didn't react. She rolled him from his side to his back, and was unable to contain a gasp.

_He's...He's blue...? And...fuzzy? _It wasn't the most unusual thing she had ever seen, considering her own arm at the moment, but she certainly hadn't been expecting it either. Then again, this probably explained how he had managed to appear in her living room out of nowhere without breaking any windows or walls. He must be mutant, and his powers must have been what got him there. That didn't really explain _what_ he was doing though.

"Uh...hello? Are you alright? Are you running from the MRD and the Purifiers?" At the mention of the MRD, his eyes fluttered, and he groaned quietly, though he still seemed to be mostly unconscious.

_He must have bumped his head, _Julia decided, glancing him over quickly and not seeing any sort of other injury. During this quick diagnostic, she was alerted to the fact that his uniform, or so she guessed it to be, was marked with an X, and she recognized the symbol from various news reports. The X-Men, some sort of rebel force of mutants, if memory served, though she tried not to watch TV too often, it was far too depressing these days. Gingerly, she reached beneath his head and her fingers found a swollen knot at the base of his skull. Had the MRD given it to him, or had he managed to hit her coffee table that hard? _Regardless, I don't think he'll be going anywhere soon. _She ventured a glance to the shadow swirling around her arm, and concentrated enough to change her hand back. _And I'm not about to turn him back out like this. Suppose I should at least get him off the floor. _

Julia hooked both her arms under one of his, and successfully managed to get him up enough to slide his torso onto the couch. He looked very slight, but was deceptively heavy. She turned to heft his legs up as well, and was met with not only feet possessing only two toes, but a tail as well, complete with a point, like the classic devil-tail. After the shock of how he had shown up though, it didn't surprise her all that much. She was starting to think she might have a guess as to who he might be.

She headed for the kitchen, deciding an icepack was the best bet for the bump on the head, until she looked up what to do with a concussion, just in case. As she dug around in the freezer for the icepack, she was shocked for a second time that night to hear a thud from the living room. Thinking perhaps the Purifiers were breaking in, somehow knowing her guest was here, Julia dashed into the living room, only to find he was awake and standing, but leaning heavily on the couch arm, and his yellow, pupil-less eyes were staring around the room. They had an odd glow to them, luminous even.

"Vho are you?" His voice was slurred, and he had a pretty heavy accent, but Julia understood well enough.

"It's okay. I don't want to hurt you. Were you trying to escape the MRD?" He seemed to ignore her, his eyes traveling the room again, as though only just then realizing he didn't recognize it.

"Vhere have you taken me?"

"I didn't take you anywhere. You just showed up here and fell through my table, and- wait!" He was striding in an off-kilter, uncertain fashion towards the window, and though she noticed he didn't walk quite like a normal person that was the least of her worries. She would guess he was planning to leave the same way he had gotten here. Julia sprinted across the living room, not seeing how teleporting, or whatever he did, was a good idea when he couldn't even walk a straight line. "You shouldn't be up! You took a bad bump to the head, and your-" as though on cue, he stumbled, badly, only staying on his feet because Julia managed to catch him by his arm. "Your equilibrium is probably pretty off. You need to rest. Listen, you're safe here, I won't turn you in, I promise. You're one of the good guys right? The one they call Nightcrawler?"

Unfocused gold eyes turned towards her, but she was unable to tell if he had caught any of it. "Vhy?"

"Why?"

"Vhy are you helping me?"

She shrugged. "I don't see any reason not to. I don't think you meant to end up in here, and I don't think you meant to do me any harm. Did you?" She asked, lowering him gently back onto the couch. He seemed more keen on staying upright, so she propped a pillow up at his side for him to lean against.

"Nein. I don't mean you any harm."

"Okay then. Besides, I don't like what the MRD or the Purifiers do. I was getting an icepack for your head, okay? Do you want some painkillers or something?"

"I vill be fine," He responded, the slur fading with each passing moment. The goose-egg must not have been as bad as she first thought.

"My name's Julia by the way."

"Yulia?"

"Julia."

"Jyulia?" He tried again, and managed to get a little closer, but she imagined it must be difficult with the accent, finding herself smiling at the effort nonetheless.

"Never mind. Julia or 'Yulia', it's all the same to me." She approached carefully, not wanting to startle him with any quick movements or anything of the like, and leaned over him to place the icepack behind his head. "So...do you have a name? A real name I mean. Or is it just Nightcrawler?"

"Er...It's Kurt..." He watched her with utmost caution as she carefully arranged the ice against the back of the couch. "You...you are not bothered by the vay I look?"

"Well, I'm not going to lie, you are a little unusual...but I've seen a lot of weird things lately. Blue fur and a tail are hardly going to freak me out these days. Really, I think I'm a little more concerned as to why you're here."

"Ja...sorry about de table. I vas aiming for the roof."

"So you were trying to escape?"

"I vas trying to help the other vones the Purifiers had cornered, but de MRD interfered, und tried to arrest all of us."

"I see." Julia nodded, stepping away. "And then you took a nice knock on the noggin and couldn't quite figure out where you were going when you were escaping, right?"

"Ja."

"Well, you made it about three-fourths of the way up, so you were pretty close." She shrugged. An uncomfortable silence fell between them, and Kurt, as she now knew his proper name to be, watched her cautiously the entire time, as though he expected her to pull out a gun and try to kill him. Or dart for the phone and call the MRD. The fact that he didn't trust her was painfully obvious. "Uhm...so...nice weather we're having, right?" Her perfectly lame attempt at a joke managed to amuse him, Kurt's mouth tilting up in the smallest of smiles.

"It is."

"Uh...sorry, that was kind of stupid. Are you hungry or something? I'm all out of small talk."

"It's alright."

"It's no big deal. It's about dinner time anyway, I might as well just make a little extra."

"I meant it vas fine you don't vant to talk to me."

"No, no...it's not like that. I just...I'm not really sure what to say is all. You know, it's hard to have a conversation with a stranger."

"I know I'm making you uncomfortable. It's alright. I vill leave as soon as my head is better."

Julia sighed slightly as she turned to the kitchen for a second time, thinking to heat up the leftover lasagna in her fridge. She couldn't really blame him for being skeptical of her. Because of the way he looked, she could guess kindness hadn't been forthcoming in Kurt's life, and trust probably didn't come any easier. And of course, these days, it was only worse. Mutants now were prosecuted the way witches would have been in the old days. She had gotten pretty lucky, and managed to seem normal until she felt threatened, Kurt didn't even have that.

"Do you like lasagna?" She questioned, leaning her head around the half-wall between the living room and kitchen. She wasn't all that surprised to see Kurt trying to stand up again, but upon seeing he was caught, he sat, trying to hide what she guessed was a swirl of dizziness by placing the icepack back on the bump on his head. With his tail. That was interesting, she hadn't guessed it to be prehensile. As though sensing she was watching it with a keen interest, Kurt tucked the tail out of sight by his feet.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize. Really, I promise I'm not going to freak out. I'm almost a little jealous for all the times I wished I had an extra arm. I bet it's pretty handy." He gave her another look of pure skepticism, as though thinking she was surely mad.

"It is...handy I mean," He agreed after a moment.

"Like I said Kurt. I've seen a lot of crazy things since this mutant witch-hunt started. So long as you don't plan to hurt me, I don't mind you being here."

"I vill not hurt you."

"Then it's fine. I have no intention of turning you in to the MRD or anything."

"You're a very veird girl."

"You'd be surprised how often I hear that. Now really, do you like lasagna?"

As interesting as Kurt's tail was to Julia, his hands were equally as intriguing. Though he only had two fingers on each hand, not counting his thumbs, they still seemed to work exactly the way a five-fingered hand did. He also had very, very good table manners, but that was beside the point.

"You like movies," Kurt observed, apparently finally feeling it was safe to return her attempts at conversation, nodding towards her collection of DVDs on a nearby shelf.

"Yeah, a lot actually, always have. Do you?" She tilted her head curiously towards Kurt, who was looking at his food rather shyly.

"Ja. I like old movies though."

"What kind? I mean like, do you have a favorite genre? Mine's sci-fi."

"Er...action I suppose." Kurt shrugged, still looking at everything besides directly at her, then returned to poking at what was left of his lasagna.

She smiled when she caught on to his nervous expression. "Really Kurt. You can relax. I promise I'm harmless."

"Vhat if the MRD finds me here?"

"Then we're both going to be in a lot of trouble. But you shouldn't worry so much, I doubt anyone knows you're here." Julia answered simply, gathering up the dinner plates and taking them to the kitchen.

"I don't vant you to get in trouble because of me."

"It's okay."

"It's not okay," Kurt insisted, standing from the couch, and seeming much more steady than he had the last time he had tried to stand as he followed her into the kitchen. "I von't put you in danger Jyulia."

"You're not putting me danger." _Not anymore than I usually am anyway. _It occurred to her then that Kurt didn't seem to realize she was a mutant too. She had assumed he would have guessed, but now she realized the only time she had really displayed her powers, he had presumably been unconscious on her floor. Julia turned to him, thinking she might as well 'fess up to it so he didn't feel like it was all on his head, but before she could even formulate the words, there was a knock on her door.

"Vere you expecting anyvone?" Kurt asked, golden eyes narrowing in the direction of the door.

"No, not really-"

"Ms. Hayle, open up please, it's the police. We've had a report of a disturbance."

"Ugh. I spoke to soon," Julia groaned, setting the dishes down in the sink and turning to Kurt, who looked ready to bolt in any given direction. "How's your head? Do you think you can get out of here?"

"I...I don't know."

"In that case, you better hide." Julia decided, grabbing hold of Kurt's arm and dragging him to the bathroom, which happened to be furthest from the door. "Can you go from room to room?"

"Er...ja, I think so."

"Then just keep moving around in case they search the apartment, alright?" She shoved him gently into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him, barely catching his nod in her direction. She got the feeling that Kurt's head was probably fine, and he was staying more for her protection than his own safety. She actually found it quite touching.

"Ms. Hayle? Are you alright?"

"Yes, yes, sorry, just a moment!" She returned to the living room at a dash, and pulled the heaviest book she had from her shelf, dropping it in the middle of the table splinters, hoping that provided an explanation for them, as she certainly didn't have time to hide the mess. She then strode to the door, greeting the two police officers at her door with a smile. "Hello, what can I do for you?"

"We've had a report of a disturbance in your apartment, something about a crash? Is everything all right Ms. Hayle?" The taller of the two, a blonde, spoke first, while his partner, a smaller, dark-haired man remained quiet. Though his sharp, almost black eyes unnerved Julia.

"Uhm...yeah, everything is fine. My downstairs neighbors are a little paranoid is all, what with the mutant crisis and everything."

"That's why we're here ma'am. One of the mutants being apprehended this afternoon escaped, we're canvassing the entire building. It could be hiding here."

She was hard-pressed not to correct the 'it' to a 'he', but held her tongue, knowing that saying anything would not only endanger herself, but probably Kurt as well. "Well, I haven't seen anything or anyone. It's just been me here since this afternoon."

"You can't be too careful miss, we should search your apartment, just to be safe. You can never tell what those muties are up to or where they're hiding."

_Yeah, right under your nose. _She thought bitterly, even as she stepped aside to allow the officers in to begin their search. Refusing them would likely only give rise to suspicion, which in turn would probably lead to the MRD showing up and tearing her home apart. Though she wanted nothing more than to turn them away, or give them a taste of what a pissed-ff mutant looked like, she resigned herself to tagging after them, and saying what she figured they would expect to hear from a totally normal, mutant-fearing American.

They bought, or at least, seemed to buy, the explanation of her coffee table being very old, and her dropping the book on it being the reason it was in pieces, and they proceeded through the rest of the apartment in a similar fashion, asking the occasional question.

And then, the moment of truth occurred. They arrived at the closed bathroom door, and Julia hadn't realized she had been holding her breath until after the short one reported back that it was empty. Kurt had dodged them, thank goodness. There was a faint hint of smoke and a sulfur-like smell, but neither of them chose to mention this fact; she only hoped it was faint enough for them to pass it off as bad water or mold something.

She tried not to look too relieved or too anxious as she escorted them back to the door.

"Thank you for your time Ms. Hayle, we're sorry to disturb you over nothing. And don't worry about the escaped mutant, the MRD will have it hunted down by morning, they're monitoring the area for any activity. Have a nice night."

"Same to you officers, sorry my neighbors wasted your time this way," She replied, as courteously as she was able, shutting the door swiftly behind them and locking it again, leaning her back on it slightly. "Kurt?" She called softly into apartment.

"I'm still here," He answered after a moment, stepping out of her bedroom closet. Odd place for him to be, but she supposed that was next best hiding place after the bathroom. He looked at her in a way that seemed almost sad. "If dey find out you lied to them, you vill probably be arrested."

"I know."

"Vhy do you vant to help me?"

"Look I...I just don't like what the Purifiers do, alright? And I don't like that the MRD never seems to actually punish them; they're cruel, and they're unfair, and they're hurting a lot of innocent people, mutant or not. And I just...I don't want them to hurt you. It's not like you've done anything to deserve it."

"You are a very kind person," Kurt said quietly.

"Hm. And earlier you were telling me I was weird. Which is it?" Julia prodded with a smile

"I dhink it must be both."

"Fair enough." Julia continued to smile, and went back to the kitchen to finish up the dishes, and then get a trash bag to finally clean up what was left of her coffee table. Kurt followed her once again, only this time it was to pick up a towel and dry the dishes as she finished washing them. "Hey, thanks."

"It's no problem." He shrugged, setting the dishes in the rack by the sink. "Uhm...Jyulia...may I hide here for the night?"

"Is your head still bothering you?" She asked, concerned. He seemed to have gotten his balance back, but maybe he was still too off to teleport properly, though she wasn't sure what to do if that were the case. She wasn't exactly a doctor, least of all for mutants.

"No, it's just that...dey said they vill be monitoring, and they vill probably know if I move much further than I did a moment ago. Und if they do find out I'm here, it vould be my responsibility to get you somewhere safe."

"Oh. Well, yes. I don't have a problem with it. I mean, you'll have to sleep on the couch of course, but I don't mind."

"I...I vouldn't ask to sleep anywhere else," He muttered, as though offended she could think he would.

"I just wanted to clarify, that's all." Julia shook her head, finding his apparent shyness towards her terribly endearing. "Hey, Kurt, can I ask you something?"

"Yes?" He still seemed rather apprehensive as he turned to her.

"I don't want to upset you or anything, but have you always been...you know, blue? The way I hear it, mutant powers don't usually develop until you're older. So, did you just...change one day?"

"Er...no. I have alvays looked this vay." He seemed suddenly embarrassed, or perhaps ashamed, looking down at his odd hands with a frown.

"Oh...I shouldn't have asked. Uhm...that was really rude wasn't it? I'm so sorry, I was just curious, and I couldn't help-"

"It's alright. You vere much more polite about it dan I am used to."

"It's been hard for you, hasn't it?"

"It is hard for all mutants to live in this vorld."

"I suppose that's true. Especially now," Julia agreed, passing him the last dish. "But you know what I think Kurt? America isn't called the 'melting pot' for nothing. Someday it won't matter what you look like, whether you're mutant or human, we're all going to be so mixed together that no one will be able to find anything to hate. Or at least, that's what I hope."

"It's a nice dhing to hope for."

"But you don't think it will happen?"

"Hm. Not in my lifetime at least," Kurt said, folding the dish towel carefully and lying it on the counter. "But it is still a nice thought." He offered her a smile, though his expression still seemed somehow sad. Julia felt a deep pang of sympathy for Kurt, and a spurt of anger at the world that had always been, and probably always would be, so unfair to him. And her as well, should she ever be exposed.

"Well, anyway, for what it's worth, I think your tail is cute." He went still, and if she were to guess, she thought he must be blushing by the purplish tint in his cheeks. "Uh...did I say something wrong again?"

"Nein...forgive me...nothing about me is called 'cute' very often." He shook his head almost violently.

"Guess you'll just have to take my word for it then." Julia smiled. "But I think it's true."

Once the kitchen was clean, Kurt followed her once again to offer his assistance in cleaning up the coffee table, and also offer to replace it, but Julia just shrugged it off. She had bought it at a garage sale anyway, so it was no great loss to her. With not much else to do, she put in a movie, a Humphrey Bogart classic, hoping it was to Kurt's taste, and they passed the next hour and a half in companionable silence.

As the clock started to push toward ten, Julia rose and found extra blankets and a pillow for Kurt, though she couldn't find him anything he could possibly wear for pajamas. He insisted he would be fine, and she didn't argue too stubbornly, seeing as he really didn't seem to mind.

"Well...uhm...good night then, I guess. I don't know how well you'll be able to sleep though, I've never tried to sleep on this couch, I don't know if it's comfortable," Julia said, setting the pillow and blankets on the couch in some semblance of a bed.

"I vill be fine. _Gute nacht_, Yulia." He touched her hand for the briefest second, and with a last smile for him, which he did not return, she was behind her bedroom door, wondering still about her strange guest.

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><p>Long after she had fallen into a peaceful sleep, Nightcrawler paced relentlessly and silently through the living room, his tail twitching methodically and thoughtfully, fading in and out of the dark as he did, save for the seemingly glowing eyes carefully tracking every shadow that passed. He had put this woman in danger, and he would not leave until he knew she was safe. Those police had been a ruse, and he knew the Purifiers, and likely the MRD as well, had fixed his location. It was only a matter of time before they made their move; and though he hoped they would wait until Julia was a safe distance away, he also knew their patience was thin. And he knew they would take her as well, simply for hiding him, regardless of how it looked to the press if they dragged a perfectly normal woman out of her home.<p>

He perched now on the window sill, balancing as only he -and perhaps Spiderman- could, and watched the people move about in the street below, wondering which could be threats. It had been a long time since he had made what he would dare call a friend on his own, and even longer since he had made one so easily. Even with other mutants, it usually took several encounters to grow accustomed to his appearance. But Julia had not been bothered. Not the tail, the fur, the eyes, his lack of normal digits, none of it seemed to faze her in the least. She had been kind to him in a way so few others had, precious few.

And because of that, he would be vigilant. No harm would come to Julia so long as he could prevent it.

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><p>Julia awoke the next morning to her long raven hair in its usual mess, and the smell of something cooking, though she couldn't decide what, from the kitchen. For a moment, she panicked, not remembering who would be in her house, but then it all came rushing back. That had to be Kurt.<p>

She grabbed her robe from the foot of the bed and pulled it on over her tank-top and boy-short undies, stepping out into the living room and running her fingers through her hair in hopes of taming it slightly. She found Kurt was indeed in the kitchen, spatula in hand.

"Are you making breakfast?"

"Ja." He turned to her, looking slightly embarrassed. "It seemed a good vay to dank you. But I vas not sure what you vould like, so I made pancakes. Somevone vonce told me you could never go vrong vith pancakes."

"Hey, I would have settled for poptarts, you'll get no complaints from me." She wandered closer, observing him absently. "You're a man of many talents Kurt."

"Learning to cook vas a necessity."

"Why?"

"I am on my own a great deal of the time. I can't expect to be fed."

"Aren't the X-Men a team though?"

"Yes, ve are. But ve are not always together." Something in his tone made Julia think it must hurt to be separated from his friends. Then again, they were probably the only allies he had from a world that would as soon hunt him down as look at him.

"Did you sleep at all?" She asked, changing the subject when she noticed the couch blankets were undisturbed.

"I couldn't. Not vith the Purifiers and MRD hovering all night."

"Are they still around?" Julia asked, nervous for more reasons than she cared to admit.

"I don't know. I haven't seen them for nearly an hour, but I doubt they vould simply give up." Kurt looked to the window as he spoke, though the sky looked clear and undisturbed by any aerial surveillance.

"How's your head?"

"Much better, _danke_." Kurt softened slightly when he turned back to her, but then the sad expression came back. "Vould you like me to leave?"

"No, of course not. You made breakfast, the least you could do is stay and eat it with me," Julia assured, stepping around him to get to the cupboard which held the plates. "Why would I want you to leave?"

"Perhaps you don't find my tail as cute in the light." The casualness of the statement went straight through Julia's heart.

"Kurt...listen, I can't pretend to understand, but I'm really not the sort of person who judges so easily by appearance, and it's really not my place anyway. This is what's normal for you, and that's okay. I meant what I said, I think your tail is a very endearing feature." She sat her hand lightly on his shoulder in a patting gesture, and for the first time, Kurt didn't seem scared of her touch.

"Hm. If everyvone thought the vay you do, mutants vould have a much easier time."

"Uhm...mutants. Right. About that. Kurt, there's something you should probably know about me-"

Similarly to the previous night, Julia was interrupted by a knock on the door, only this time, there was no announcement of whom it might be. Annoyed, she crossed the floor and glanced out the peephole, only looking long enough to see the guns and the Purifier tags on their shirts. _Oh no..._

"Kurt! Run!" She wheeled around to him just as the door behind her was thrown open by a kick from one of the men on the other side, one she happened to recognize from last night. Figured the police force would have a few Purifiers mixed in their ranks. They had known Kurt was here the whole time. As she had feared he might, Kurt ignored her plea for him to escape and instead ran for her, shoving the Purifier nearest her back into the others with a well-placed foot.

He grabbed Julia by the shoulders, likely planning to teleport them both out into safety, but the Purifiers had long ago started developing ways to deal with their mutant prey, and those still standing slapped what she would have first thought to merely be a net over him, but when he didn't escape, she figured it must inhibit his powers, and with the two burly men putting their full weight on him, Kurt couldn't very well struggle his way out either.

"No! Don't hurt him! He wasn't doing anything!" Julia shouted, seeing one raise a fist, probably planning to make Kurt stop struggling, one way or another. "He wasn't hurting anyone!" She started toward them, though she wasn't entirely certain what she expected to gain from it, without making the situation worse by exposing herself.

"Shut it lady," Growled one of the men, one of the ones who were also police officers, grabbing her and forcing her arms behind her back, and slapping what she could only assume were handcuffs on her wrists. "We're taking you too."

"What? Why?" Julia turned her head to give him a petrified look, wondering if her secret was finally out.

"For harboring the mutie over there," He replied gruffly, jabbing a thumb at Kurt, who was still flailing violently, even under the weight of an additional officer trying to hold him down.

"She hasn't done anything vrong!" He argued, but was pointedly ignored by his captors, all three of whom muttered some very cruel threats down at Kurt.

"It's illegal to hide mutants wanted for arrest, you goblin freak." The officer/Purifier holding Julia snarled in response.

"He's not a goblin you jerk, he's a person!"

"It's a freak of nature lady, and that's all. Get it out of here!" He added to the ones trying to keep Kurt restrained. Julia wasted not another second in deciding what was the right course of action, nor did she waste another breath trying to convince them to leave Kurt alone. It was obvious it was not going to happen, they were clearly settled on their cause. She wrenched her arms away from the officer behind her, not wanting to accidentally absorb his energy, though it was no less than he deserved, and for the first time in a long time, released the mental cage she kept on her powers. She felt the shift rippling over her molecules, her skin turning the deep, inky black. Her amorphous hands slid from the handcuffs easily, and she whipped around with one arm formed into an ethereal blade. She slammed the blade against the chest of the stunned officer behind her, though her blades never actually cut people, and she could only hope she had managed to at least knock the wind out of him.

"Crap! The chick's one of them! Base, we've got a second mutie on the loose!" One of the officers trying to drag Kurt toward the door shouted into his radio while raising a gun towards her, firing aimlessly. The kinetic energy of the bullets was absorbed into the compact void her body had become, and they mostly fell uselessly to the ground, though some merely passed through her, her matter automatically displacing itself slightly to avoid damage; though they did manage to put plenty of holes in her bathrobe and tank-top, which was a shame. She hit them both with the same blade as the first one, careful to hit them in torso-area so she didn't accidentally kill them. Once they were down, and she was satisfied they would stay that way, Julia shifted her arm back into its human shape, and focused on returning her molecules to their normal state. She dropped to her knees, pulling the mutant-proof net off of Kurt, who was looking at her in what seemed to be pure shock.

"Jyulia...you...you are a mutant?"

"Er...yeah. Sorry. I didn't mean to keep it a secret, I tried to tell you yesterday. And this morning. But I didn't really know what to say, and I-"

They both turned at the sounds of footsteps in the hallway; without another word, Kurt reached out and took her arm, and a puff of smoke later Julia found herself on the roof, her body reeling at the sudden change. That had felt like falling down a pit that suddenly opened beneath her feet, and falling forever, but upwards, and the whole thing had been mashed into the few nanoseconds it had taken them to reappear on the roof. She had literally felt herself disappear for a moment, to leave her version of reality for only the briefest second. She wasn't sure whether she was more shocked at how teleporting had felt, or the fact that she had survived it.

"Are you alright?" Kurt questioned.

"I think so...I'm just not entirely sure my insides came with me." She nodded, trying to smile as reassuringly as she could, while assuring _herself_ that she was solid once again. "I guess...hiding didn't do you all that much good, huh?"

"So it vould seem." Kurt nodded, getting to his feet and walking to the edge of the roof, peering down at what she guessed was the raid going on in her apartment. "It vill not be long before deir back-up comes for us. I'm sorry about this Jyulia."

"It's not your fault. It was only a matter of time before I was discovered."

"Vhy didn't you tell me?"

Julia only shrugged, contemplatively fiddling with one of the rings she was fond of wearing. "Like I said, I wasn't sure how to tell you, I've never told anyone. My powers developed really early, ten or eleven if I remember right, and ever since, I've had to hide them, and I've gotten really good at it. Back there was probably the most I've ever used them in one day in the last ten or fifteen years. Until this whole Purifier/MRD thing started, I'd almost stopped thinking of myself as a mutant, because I had repressed my ability so far. But now...well, I guess I don't have that luxury."

Kurt looked at her with a strange expression in his eyes. "Vere you embarrassed? Even though I am a mutant too?"

"No, that's not it. I'd just gotten so used to hiding it...I didn't think it really mattered one way or the other anyway. Mutant or human, I still would have helped you Kurt."

Whatever he had been looking for in her answer, this seemed acceptable to him, and he turned back to look over the edge of the building again. "I can get you out avay from here," He said softly, "-but if I do, you vill probably never be able to come back. I can take you somevhere you vill be safe, but only if you vant me to."

"Even if I wanted to try and stay here, I don't think I could anymore. Hell, I was getting sick of pretending to be the girl next door anyway." Julia answered him with a shrug. "I don't suppose I can manage a change of clothes first? I'd rather not go on the lam in my underwear and a bathrobe, especially considering it's full of bullet holes."

"You can't. But I can. They're probably spread out enough that they von't notice me. I vill be back in a moment." True to his word, Kurt vanished in another puff of smoke, before reappearing almost as soon as it faded, holding a pair of her jeans, a t-shirt, a jacket, and her favorite boots in his hands. Or rather, the jacket was hanging over his tail, but it was all the same to her. "Vill these do?"

"Yeah...this teleporting thing of yours is really impressive, I've got to say. Can you go anywhere you want?"

"Not anyvhere," Kurt answered, handing the clothes over. "I have to know vhere I'm going, or at least be able to picture it clearly."

"Is that why you ended up in the closet when you teleported out of the bathroom?" She twirled her finger, bidding him to turn around, which he did promptly, a purplish hue present in his cheeks again. Julia said a moment of thanks for tank-tops with built-in bras, which she almost always slept in, and the fact that she had worn socks to bed as she started to dress, feeling a little awkward about doing so on her rooftop. At least it was tall enough that she couldn't expect anyone to see her, and she trusted Kurt not to peek.

"Ja. I saw the room on my vay past, but didn't notice the closet. I meant to teleport into the corner, but that vas vhere the closet vas."

"You've probably never had to worry about a driver's license or anything, huh?"

"I can only go about a mile or two at a time." Kurt shrugged.

"Still, it's such a neat power. I wish I could do that."

"Yours is nothing to scoff at. It vas very amazing Jyulia."

"Hm. Amazing..." Julia repeated the word quietly to herself. The human world wouldn't think it was amazing, they would think it terrifying. Just as they thought Kurt was terrifying. But he thought differently, and somehow, that made it hard to care about what the rest of the world's opinion. "Alright. I'm good to go." She leaned down and zipped up her boots, straightening again to face Kurt. "So, how are we getting to this safe place of yours?"

"I vill have to teleport us, und it vill take more than vone trip. If you need to stop, tell me."

Julia balked slightly at the thought. As much as she was envious of the teleporting ability, she hadn't had such a fun experience with the last time. She didn't know if she wanted to feel that again, like she temporarily stopped existing, it honestly freaked her out a little bit. But, it also seemed more prudent than trying to find some other means of escape, especially considering they were currently twenty-one stories above the ground; factor in the back-up and MRD on their respective ways, which surely involved helicopters, and it started to seem like the only way. Besides, she trusted Kurt.

"So...do I just hold onto you then?"

"Ja, if it does not bother you-" The self-depreciating tone was coming back, but Julia was quick to cut him off, stepping close enough to Kurt to slide her arms around his neck.

"Will this work?" She smiled when, for a moment, he seemed too surprised to speak.

"Ja...this vill...be fine." Hesitantly, he set his hands on her waist lightly. "I vill try to make it quick."

"No hurries over here." She smiled and linked her hands behind his head, then gasped as the roof and everything around her faded into swirling black smoke, and she once again felt as though she dropped into nothingness; before just as suddenly being dumped back into reality. She blinked, trying to clear the smoke from her eyes, and when it did, she found herself to be looking at a tree over Kurt's shoulder. They were in the park, nearly six blocks down from her apartment, under the cover of a group of willow trees. "Wow-" Was all she had time to say, before there was another puff of smoke surrounding her, and this time, though she was prepared for it, she still didn't really like the feeling of leaving her plane of existence. Though she could feel nothing of herself, nothing of her surroundings, she could somehow still feel Kurt, still knew he was there, and she tried to focus on him, on his seeming solidity in the swirling maelstrom of things that were there and yet somehow weren't, as they appeared and reappeared in various places along the route Kurt seemed to know by memory alone, never really looking around to get his bearings. She wondered if she felt so uncomfortable in this in-between world because it was so similar to how she felt when she started to lose control of her power.

"Ve are almost there," He said quietly near her ear. "Ve can stop if you vant."

"I think you had better. I feel like half of me is back in the park still," Julia mumbled in response, though she wasn't sure her voice was working properly; she wasn't even sure if her brain was still attached to the rest of her. Quite unprepared for, the world around her materialized again, though she didn't dare let go of Kurt until she knew for certain she was re-oriented and able to stand on her own two feet. "Whoa." She gazed around the environment, which had become a sunny country lane, void of any life save for birds in the trees, chirping their little hearts out in surprise at the two mutants' sudden appearance.

"You didn't need to hold onto me so tightly. I vould not have dropped you."

"Oh. Sorry." She slid her arms away from him, realizing Kurt had let her go a good thirty seconds ago and was waiting for her to do the same; and that she had managed to practically climb _onto_ him she was clinging so close. "Where are we now?"

"Salem Center, New York. It is only another mile to the institute. Ve can valk from here."

"That was insane. How do you do that all the time without getting sick?" Julia questioned, following Kurt's lead as he turned and started down the side of the road. It seemed, where ever in Salem Center they happened to be, he wasn't worried about being spotted.

"I did get sick at first. But vith practice it gets easier. I have had a long time to practice."

"Oh good, I thought it was just me. You said institute a second ago. You don't mean, like, an asylum, do you?"

"Of course not. It's a school."

"School?"

"Ja. For mutants. It vas meant to help young mutants learn to control their powers, but now it is a haven for all who need shelter."

"Which I'm guessing is a lot of us by now."

"Ja. But some still prefer to hide instead."

"I know the feeling. Is this school where the X-Men are too?"

"Some of us." Kurt nodded, and offered nothing further than that. She did want to know more about him though, and the other X-Men, she couldn't help but be curious. Before she could decide how to proceed, he spoke again. "The Professor vill vant to meet you first."

"Professor Xavier?" She guessed, having heard tell of his famous school, though usually only from the bigoted politicians who wished to see it closed.

"Ja." Kurt stopped momentarily before a gate, pressing a series of buttons which she guessed meant the place had security. That was reassuring.

* * *

><p><em>One last thing: Kurt's accent it mostly by ear from the moviescartoons. So...if it's terrible, the whole story is written like that, and I really don't feel like changing it. So...Sorry. :)_


	2. Chapter 2

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Okey doke, here's the weekly episode of Gaze and Glance. Basically, all you need to know is I'm not a scientist. There's a reason I'm majoring in English, so basically, what I'm saying here is I made up most everything scientific about Julia's mutation. But hey, this is a Fanfic for X-Men, so anything can happen, right? If not, I guess I'll just do what Marvel does and make up my own universe where it can. :) Other than that, same old, same old. _

_P.S. Marcy is my sister's OC. She wanted to be in this. :) If you want info on her, I can post her profile later._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

Julia followed Kurt for another ten minutes or so, and was soon greeted by a enormous mansion sitting pristine in a well-kept yard. The trees on all sides seemed to go for miles, one direction dropping off in a cliff to the ocean, and the only road was one leading to what seemed to be the front gate, while a series of dirt paths, much like the one she and Kurt had been walking on, stretched back into the woodlands surrounding the manor house.

"Is all this the school grounds?"

"Most of it. As you know, it is difficult to remain safe as a mutant vithout some secrecy."

"There's just so much space. I was expecting...I dunno. Some brick building with no windows or something."

"I vould not take you to a prison. This vay." He started down the path again, circling the mansion to the enormous front doors, and they were greeted by a shortish, burly man with messy black hair and a salty look about his eyes, as though he were perpetually bitter about something. Those same eyes narrowed at Julia, then he turned to Kurt.

"Professor said you were coming back Elf, didn't say anything 'bout you bringing a stray home with you."

_Elf...? _Julia wondered offhandedly, then realized it must be some kind of nickname relating to Kurt's ears; they were quite cute and pointy. Since Kurt didn't seem offended by it, she guessed this guy to be a friend.

"Dis is Jyulia. She's not a stray, she's a friend. She helped me escape the MRD."

"'Yulia', huh?" This man turned to her again, leaned in, and much to her shock, sniffed her. Nothing inappropriate, just a quick whiff near the top of her head, but still, she had been expecting a hand shake or something; she had never had someone smell her as an introduction. "Seems alright." He shrugged after a moment, as though he had been mentally mulling over her scent. "Name's Logan. Or Wolverine. Whichever ya want to use." Now he stuck a hand out to her, and Julia hesitantly reached out to take it. He nearly crushed her hand when he shook it, but she kept the wince in.

"Uh...actually it's 'Julia'. But I guess either way is fine." Something about this guy didn't seem quite human, but then, she supposed that was the nature of this school. "So...you're a teacher?"

Logan, or Wolverine, she hadn't decided which she would call him yet, tossed his head back and barked a laugh. "Not on your life lady. I'm just here to keep y'all in line."

And she'd bet he did a bang-up job of it too. Mutant or no, she didn't want to see this guy when he got cranky.

"I'll take her from here. Go get something to eat Elf, I could hear your stomach twenty feet away."

"Er...Logan-"

"Don't worry Kurt. It's fine, I don't mind. See you in a bit?"

"Ja." Though from the way he said it, she wasn't sure whether she really would.

With that, she switched her guides, following Logan now through the surprisingly simple halls of the manor. Or at least, the first level was simple, seeming to comprise simply of meeting and reception rooms, or possibly classrooms seeing as it was a school; but as they proceeded up the main set of stairs, she began to notice the high-tech computer or security equipment at regular intervals, and she realized that the mansion was not what it had seemed.

"The Elf trusts you," Logan said abruptly, glancing over his shoulder at her.

"Is there a problem with that?" Julia asked, unsure of what his tone meant.

"No. It's just unusual." He seemed to be speaking to her, but he was now facing forward, and she was unsure whether he expected an answer or not.

"Well, from what I gather, very few people have given him much of a reason to be very trusting. And believe me, he wanted to bolt almost the entire time."

"But he didn't."

"No he didn't. If only because he was practically concussed." Julia shrugged, undecided as to where this conversation was supposed to be going.

"Hey kid, I don't mean it like a bad thing. Color me impressed for winning him over so quick, that's all."

Julia shrugged, probably more to herself than to Logan. She wasn't entirely so convinced that she had 'won' Kurt over, as Logan put it. He didn't seem to trust her all that much either. But then, like she had just said, she didn't really blame him for that. From what she could gather of his opinions thus far, no one had ever given Kurt a reason to trust humanity, let alone humans themselves, and he had definitely thought she was human until this morning. Then again, despite the issues of mistrust, he had proven himself a very likable man, and he had gone to great lengths to honor his promise to keep her safe.

"Ya got a soft spot for him." Again, Logan stated it as though it were a simple matter of fact. She wondered if he had somehow gotten all of this from smelling her, as improbable as it seemed. She wasn't usually considered an easily-read person.

"He's a sweet guy. I think he's very likable."

"He is quite likable," Said a new voice from the end of the hall, and Julia was finally introduced to the infamous Professor Xavier. His smile was incredibly welcoming, as though he and Julia were old friends, and he was delighted to see her again. "Hello Miss Hayle. I hope Logan hasn't proved himself too gruff."

"Uh...nope. I'm guessing you're the Professor I hear so much about, right?"

"That is correct. Why don't you follow me? We'll talk about your situation and how we may resolve it." He turned the motorized wheelchair to the door behind him, and Julia followed, noticing Logan wandered off in a different direction -his job evidently done- and rather than some sort of mechanized, computer-surveillance room as she had expected, they were in a room with windows all along one side, several couches, a fire place, a large mahogany desk and bookshelf, and a table set with tea and pastries. "I'm assuming you never got around to your breakfast, please help yourself." The Professor gestured to the pastries, and Julia only raised an eyebrow for a moment, then decided there was no harm in taking the proffered tea. Because he was right, she had never gotten to eat the pancakes Kurt had made her. She settled awkwardly on the sofa opposite where he parked his chair. Professor Xavier lifted his own tea cup, nodding to her.

"I understand you helped out Mr. Wagner earlier today. And yesterday as well."

"Wagner?"

"Nightcrawler. Or Kurt, however he may have introduced himself."

"Oh. Yeah, Kurt. We never got that far into the introductions. We were only on a first name basis." She shifted on the couch, feeling a little uncomfortable suddenly. "So uh, are you some kind of psychic, or did he pop up here and tell you all this already?"

"'Psychic' is a very shallow term Miss Hayle. But yes. I am a telepath."

"Right. Okay." She gathered by the look he gave her that the Professor knew she was a bit on the disbelieving side. Maybe she had just seen a little too much today to really take anymore in, but she was currently having a lot of trouble wrapping her mind around the idea that Professor Xavier could hear her thoughts.

"Whether you believe it or not isn't really the issue at hand I'm afraid. I could prove it if you wish though. You had no trouble believing that Kurt is able to teleport."

"Yeah...suppose that's true, but I've also seen it first hand. Telepathy is just a little bit harder to prove I guess." Julia shrugged, fiddling with one of her rings again. "And the mind seems like it ought to be pretty private."

"I don't invade. Merely listen." The Professor offered her a winning smile. "Right now you're wondering where Kurt is. You wonder how much Logan learned about you by his sense of smell. You're wondering whether you can trust me. Your first love gave you the ring you are currently fiddling with, and now you are wishing that I hadn't heard that last part."

For a moment, Julia was aghast, because that had been, more or less, exactly what she had been thinking in the last thirty seconds. "Please don't ever do that again."

"As I said Miss Hayle, I do not pry unless it becomes necessary. I only listen to what people willingly think."

"Mind-reader ethics?"

"My ethics at least. Now then, tell me about your problem with the Purifiers."

"Problem is right. They broke into my apartment this morning, looking for Kurt, but I used my own powers Nightcrawler and I got away, but they know I'm a mutant now, and if they're not chasing me, the MRD probably is, because I'm sure they spun some story about how we attacked them instead of the other way around. Kurt said I would be safe here, though... I'm assuming whether I get to stay is more your call than it is his. Especially considering I can be kinda...unstable."

"You are referring to your powers?"

Julia nodded, her eyes traveling around the office for a moment. "I uh...I don't really have a lot of control over them. I mean, this morning it's probably lucky I didn't end up really hurting somebody."

"You are scared by your own powers because of this?" The Professor asked, his tone perfectly sympathetic. She knew he could simply read her mind for his answers, but he was waiting for her to tell him, a sign of neutrality. He was asking for her trust. And for some reason, Julia felt like she could trust him; she had never been in the midst of her own kind before, and, she figured, if someone as skiddish as Kurt or as surly as Wolverine trusted this man, she could be justified in doing so as well.

"Yeah. I guess that's the best way to put it."

"And you've been repressing them since you came into your gifts, correct?"

"Trying anyway. But I can't always keep them in check. It's kind of instinctive in some cases. You know, to protect myself."

"Unfortunately Miss Hayle, repressing them may be the very reason for your lack of control." The Professor sat his teacup aside, making a steeple of his fingers. "We mutants can only truly gain control of our powers when we allow them to develop properly. When we allow ourselves to understand and embrace them."

"That's kind of hard to do when you have to worry about your body scattering," Julia stated, admittedly in a rather dry fashion. "Or, you know, sucking energy out of people."

"Have you hurt anyone?"

"No, I mean, not... not on purpose. But there was this one time, right after I got to New York City...It was the first time I ever had a full-body change."

"Tell me about it. Please don't be afraid Miss Hayle, here you're safe, and here we can try to help you, if you'll let us," The Professor encouraged, his hands leaving their steeple-pose and reaching for his teacup again, lightly patting her hand along the way. A gentle, reassuring touch, something like what she imagined an uncle would use.

Julia sighed slightly, but decided to tell the story anyway, like the Professor had asked. Maybe he was right, maybe if he could help her understand her powers, she could better learn to control them. "I got cornered by some guys, and at first I just tried to talk my way out of it, expected Spiderman to come save me or something, you know? That's why I picked New York, I figured since they had Spiderman and the Avengers and stuff, they had to be more accepting of mutants. Anyway, as I bet you know, that wasn't really the case, so I'll just get on with it. They tried to grab me, I still don't know what they were trying to do, I think I'd rather not know, and I transformed, just...on instinct. It was the strangest feeling I ever...I didn't know what to do. I think I was more scared than they were, I'd only ever changed like...a hand or my arm before that, and the one who grabbed me first...he was too shocked to let go. I'm not sure if it was because I was scared, or just because I didn't know what had happened to me, but I could literally feel his energy getting sucked in. The electricity in his brain, the chemical energy from his cells breaking down protein, everything. I could feel it all, and one by one, my body started to absorb the energy patterns. I don't think I killed him, but I didn't stop to look honestly. I ran. It took me a long time to change my body back, and the scariest part was I could feel myself falling apart the whole time."

"How do you mean?" Professor Xavier questioned, his eyebrow arcing up.

"It's kinda hard to explain. But it seemed like the longer I stayed that way, in the dark form, the harder it got to hold my body together. I couldn't feel parts of me...like they had just...faded away. I've tried a couple transformations like that since, mostly just out of morbid curiosity I guess, and so far the longest I've ever managed to hold it before I started to feel like that was about fifteen minutes."

For a long moment after Julia had finished her story, the Professor merely sat in silence, apparently debating his next sentence.

"Miss Hayle, may I propose something to you?"

"Uh...sure, I guess. What is it?"

"I'd like you to meet a friend of mine, he's one of the top geneticists in world, like myself, and like you and I, he's also a mutant. If you would consent to allow us to examine you and work with you, I think we may be able to help you gain control of your powers. If you're willing to cooperate and remain on the school grounds, I think we can help you Miss Hayle."

"Stay here? Like...live in the school?" The Professor nodded. "But...but how can I possibly afford that? I mean, I work er... I guess I worked, in a convenience store, I could barely make rent on my apartment, and after this morning, I think I probably lost just about everything I had. I can't possibly pay the room and board I'm sure it requires to live here." She gestured around the room, indicating the subtle opulence it held.

"The point of this school Miss Hayle is to help mutants, not to garner a profit. We can come to an arrangement. Many of the children here are unable to afford the tuition and the board on their own, but we all work and share chores. You are perfectly welcome to stay here, as long as you want to. And you will be safe, I can promise you that much."

"I just...I kind of have to think about it is all. It's been a crazy couple of days," Julia decided quietly. "It's a lot to think about."

"I understand perfectly. However, I would still like to insist that you meet Dr. McCoy. Shall we go introduce you?"

* * *

><p>Dr. McCoy, as it turned out, was probably the strangest doctor Julia had ever met. Not because he was massive, blue, furry, and had a countenance that seemed to be half-cat, half-primate -if anything, she thought of him as a really big, fluffy version of Kurt- but because he was the only doctor she had ever met who spoke almost entirely in quotes of Shakespeare and other old literature.<p>

"Fascinating..." He was mumbling now, looking over the x-rays he had just finished taking of her, posted up on the lighted whiteboard.

"Sorry...but, uh, what's fascinating?" Julia questioned from the elevated, cushioned stool she had been placed on nearly half an hour ago.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Here, have a look at this," Dr. McCoy smiled warmly at her, and held out a paw-like hand to her, offering her assistance in getting down from the stool. Not really needing it, but figuring it would be polite, she took his hand and hopped off the stool, allowing him to guide her around to the x-rays. "Here, see this?" He pointed to a large black void in the center of the x-ray, approximately where her lungs and heart ought to be.

"Is it a mistake?"

"That's the fascinating part. It's not. I took several x-rays to make certain, and this same anomaly appeared each time. And see, there's a similar one here." He pointed her now to a scan of her upper chest and head, and the same black void was evident in most of her brain and her spinal cord was totally missing. "It appears Miss Hayle, that the substance you transform into is always present in your body, it seems as though it has actually replaced the electrical impulses of your nervous system. That's why we're unable to see certain places, these parts absorb the radiation. I'm guessing that's why Professor X had trouble reading your mind as well, you must even be capable of absorbing psionic energy when it's projected at you."

"Wait, but...Professor Xavier didn't have any trouble reading my mind. He repeated what I was thinking nearly word for word. Or thought for thought I guess."

"He could read what we call surface thoughts," Dr. McCoy explained, actually seeming pleased she was asking so many questions. Julia thought he must make for an awesome teacher, being so willing to clarify everything and answer inquiries.

"Surface?"

"Things we think without meaning to. Shallow thoughts that never really get encoded, or only 'pop up' as it were in reference to a current event. "Deeper thoughts" consist of things like our memories, our beliefs, and literally, how we think of things. For lack of a better word, surface thoughts are the static in our brains. Anything deeper than that, Professor X was met with what he called a void in your mind. I'm guessing, now, that's it's the fact that your body still carries characteristics of your dark form."

"So I'm never totally human?"

"Well, yes, that's one way of looking at it, but I think the more interesting part is that these small voids don't seem to have the instability that your outer body does when you transmute entirely. Perhaps if we can learn why these particles don't act-up and try to separate the way the external ones do, we can find a way to better manage your power."

"That makes sense." Julia nodded, tilting her head a little closer to the x-ray, still fascinated that part of her was quite literally missing from the picture. "Can I keep these afterward? They're kind of neat."

"Of course. As I said, I took several." Dr. McCoy nodded his shaggy blue head, seeming unfazed by her rather odd request, and pulled glasses out of his pocket, sliding them over his nose. "Now then, may I see a transformation?"

"Uh...for how long? Just a partial one, my arm or something, I can hold for about thirty minutes. Anything more than that I start to get unstable pretty fast."

"Ah, well, just your arm will be fine then." Julia nodded, and with a touch of concentration, felt the familiar ripple of change down her arm, all the way to her fingertips. She held the shadowy appendage out to Dr. McCoy who seemed equally as entertained as he was fascinated, uttering several more Shakespeare quotes relating to the Dark Mistress. She hoped he meant it in a positive -preferably non-sexual- light, but shrugged the idea aside as Dr. McCoy went to work with a pen light and a tongue depressor, poking at the black mass before him. "Interesting..." He mumbled again, seeming to forget momentarily that Julia was there, despite the fact the object of his interest was attached to her.

"What is it?"

"It seems you emit a small field of force. That would likely explain why your atoms try to pull themselves apart. They radiate repulsive force."

"You mean that they push each other away right?" She was guessing based on her vague understanding of physics, and also wanted to confirm that nothing about her atoms was particularly disgusting.

"Precisely." Dr. McCoy nodded, seeming pleased that she had caught on so easily.

"How can you tell?"

"Here." He lifted her arm up to her own eye-level, and then gently gave it a prod with the wooden tongue depressor, and much to Julia's fascination, her shadowy skin quite literally dipped down to avoid being touched, apparently thinking the wood was a threat. It was odd to think of her skin as having a mind of its own, but that seemed to be the best explanation.

"Oh...that's so weird. I never noticed I did that before. Well, I mean this morning the Purifuers shot at me, and parts of me moved so the bullets just went through me. I never really thought of why it did that though."

"Indeed. It seems this matter, which I can't honestly classify yet, absorbs energy but repels normal matter." Dr. McCoy took a moment to have a short, thoughtful stroll around the infirmary room. "There's no question that it's similar to antimatter, minus a few obvious points. It's more similar to an 'anti-energy' or possibly a negative energy that takes the shape of your body. Only you don't cause an explosion when you come into contact with normal energy, you seem to simply break it down into non-existence. I can't say for certain why your body reacts the way it does to solid matter though. I imagine that's why the largest concentration seems to be in your brain spinal cord, as it seems to have replaced most of your organic energy. I suppose that's something we'll learn more about should you choose to stay and allow us to continue examining you."

Something about the fact that neither Professor Xavier or Dr. McCoy tried to push staying on her was comforting to Julia. The fact that it was her choice made it more acceptable that they wanted to poke and prod at her a bit. Not only that, they both seemed reasonably honest in wanting to help her, but it was still certainly a lot to take in all at once.

"Can I ask you a question?" He turned to look at her curiously, his fingers having absently been stroking his furred chin, and his pacing having picked up again.

"Certainly."

"Am I dangerous?"

"That depends I'm afraid. In your human state, you're perfectly dormant, and pose little threat to anything. But in your other state...I'm afraid I can't say whether you'll pose a definite threat or not. That rather depends on how well you can control your absorption, which seems to vary depending on the types of energy you're exposed to, and, from what you've told me, your mental state as well."

"I see," Was all Julia was able to say for a moment, contemplating what he had said. "So maybe in order to control it, need to get a handle on my body's energy consumption. Only, it seems to mostly be a subconscious thing."

"Yes. That's the main hurdle we're going to have to get over. Especially considering you're more or less immune to the Professor's telepathy; we'll have to find another way to get under the surface layer." Dr. McCoy nodded. "But, to answer your question, no. You're not directly dangerous. As long as you're like this," He gestured at her, "-you're just like any normal person, aside from the fact your body runs on negative energy, which, near as I can tell, doesn't interact with anything outside of your body."

"Okay. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't going to pose a threat to any of the kids."

Dr. McCoy hinted at a smile under his fur. "So then, you're thinking of staying?"

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, this place seems really nice, everyone I've met has been very kind, if a bit snarky in Wolverine's case, but kind all the same. And this place in itself is amazing. Being able to be yourself, mutations and all; it's kinda like a fantasy come to life. Besides, I don't really have anywhere else to go for the time being." Julia shrugged at the finished statement, realizing for the first time since this morning that she was more than likely never going to see her apartment or any of the stuff in it ever again. She hadn't even thought to grab her ID or credit card or anything.

"We'll figure something out," Dr. McCoy assured, patting her shoulder lightly. "Anyway, let's call that good for the day. I've got plenty of information to start some research on your mutation, we'll see where that takes me before we decided what step to take next."

Before Julia could speak again, the door opened with a creak, and she spied a bright blue eye peering in from the hallway. "Er...Dr. McCoy?" Julia nodded to the door, wondering if perhaps she had tread on someone else's appointment time.

In response he heaved a huge sigh, as though whoever this eye belonged to did this sort of thing often. "I'm sorry. Marcy, why don't you come in rather than scaring the poor girl like this?"

The door opened further, and smallish young woman, probably and inch or two shorter than Julia with a head of brown curls entered the room cautiously, watching Julia with appraising eyes, which were her most unusual feature. One was nearly black, and the other was the bright blue that had been peering in first. "Sorry." She said abruptly, glancing at her feet once she realized Julia was staring back, rocking in place on her feet slightly. "Kurt told me about her, and I got really curious."

"Marcy-"

"Okay, so I eavesdropped when he was talking to Logan about her. But I hardly hear Kurt talk about girls anymore, so I wanted to come see her."

"That's not what I was going to say." Dr. McCoy sighed in an overly dramatic fashion, but Julia thought she could pick up a hint of affection under the ruse. "Marcy, this is Julia Hayle, she'll be joining us for a little while. Julia, this is Marceline Heaney. One of the alumni of the school."

"Hi." Julia swapped her dark arm out for her normal one, and offered the hand out to Marcy, who took it rather shyly. She had very small, delicate hands with long fingers. _Artist hands. _Julia thought absently.

"Marcy, why don't you show Julia around? And perhaps show her one of the guest rooms until we find a more permanent residence?"

"Uh...sure..." Marcy seemed embarrassed by the idea, but looked up and offered Julia a small, quavering sort of smile, which Julia returned with what she hoped was her friendliest smile. After a few more seconds of this awkward introduction, Dr. McCoy shuffled them out of the infirmary, and they walked silently along the hall.

"So...you were a student here?"

"Yes, I was. My parents sent me here a long time ago. And I've been here ever since. I uh...I teach the music classes now."

"That's neat." Julia smiled still, trying to be encouraging. "Your parents...did they pay for this?"

"Not exactly." To her surprise, Marcy actually laughed a little, but it was bitter. "They brought me here to 'fix' me, that is, to take my mutation away. But when Professor Xavier said he couldn't do that, they just left me here. That was eight years ago now."

"Oh...damn. Uhm, sorry." Julia balked, but Marcy smiled at her, in the same shy fashion as before.

"It's alright. The people here really end up feeling like a family after awhile. Hank made a lot of difference."

"Hank?"

"Er...Dr. McCoy." Judging from the fresh flush going to Marcy's cheeks, she was going to assume she hadn't been wrong about the affection she had been seeing before. "If you don't mind my asking-" Marcy began again, obviously changing the subject off of herself, "-are you a late bloomer? You seem a little old to just be getting your powers."

"No, not a late bloomer. Mine showed up pretty young. I just didn't want anything to do with them." Julia shrugged, letting the subject shift away from Marcy. Curious as she was, she wasn't really one to blatantly pry into something the other girl wasn't willing to talk about. "So what's this place like?"

"Like any other boarding school I suppose." Marcy shrugged, leading her to an elevator and pressing the button to take them back to the main floor. "Only, instead of econ classes, our students can take things like: 'best way to take down a skrull invader' or, 'the ethics of using your powers for profit'."

"Huh. Sounds promising." Julia said, stepping out into the foyer on Marcy's heels. She was shown the kitchen, the main dining hall -though there seemed to be breakfast nooks scattered at regular intervals throughout the mansion- the library, the classrooms, and through the dormitory halls, meeting a few students and teachers along the way.

"I suppose this is going to sound a bit fan-girly of me, but what about the X-Men?" Julia questioned, when she and Marcy returned to the kitchen for sodas and snacks.

In response, the brunette shrugged. "I guess you could say this is our 'base'. Most of us have taken on classes as teachers here."

"Ah, so you're one of them then?"

"Yeah. Does it surprise you?" Marcy questioned with a smile.

"No, no. It's just...I dunno. The X-Men have always been a little larger than life, you know? I mean, you guys are super heroes, you save the world and stuff like that. You guys have always been categorized with like, the Avengers in my mind, but I don't think I'd ever find myself sitting around having Pepsi and peanut butter crackers with Thor. It's a little surreal."

"Well, I don't imagine Thor would end up falling into your living room either."

"Can't say I would mind if he did."

"I can think of very few women who would." They shared a small, feminine sort of chuckle, before both women drifted off into their own thoughts for a moment.

"Hey, Marceline-"

"Marcy. Or Mars. Either way."

"Okay, Marcy," Julia acquiesced with a nod and small smile. "What about all my things back in my apartment? I mean, my clothes and my wallet and stuff. I'm probably going to need my ID and money at some point, and I know I can't go around wearing this forever. My tank-top has still got bullet holes in it."

"Bullet holes?"

"Purifiers."

"Ah. Yeah, they do that." Marcy tapped a finger thoughtfully at the corner of her lips for a moment, then simply shrugged. "Even if you don't decide to stay, I imagine the Professor can get your stuff for you."

"How? I'm sure the MRD or the police are confiscating it by now."

"He'll probably just brainwash them, and we'll go get it. It's kinda neat actually. It's literally just like the Jedi mind-tricks in Star Wars."

"Brainwash? He can do that?"

"That's right. Technically speaking, the Professor is one of the most powerful mutants on the planet. He can brainwash almost anyone, even other telepaths."

"Doesn't that...I dunno, freak you out a little bit?" Julia questioned.

Marcy shrugged. "I guess. Maybe at first it did. But the Professor has never used his powers on any of us unless it was to help us. Or at least trying to help."

"It just seems strange. When you talk about powerful mutants, the first thing that comes to mind is Magneto."

"That's the way it is with most of the humans too. I think that's probably why they're so afraid of us." Marcy was looking down at the glass of pepsi in her hands, poking at the ice. "We make them wonder if they're really the dominant species anymore. Magneto especially reminds them of how powerless they can be."

Julia looked down at her half-empty glass of pepsi as well, before shaking her head firmly. "This conversation is getting way too serious. Let's go walk around the grounds or something, yeah?"

And as they continued along on their tour of the enormous, sometimes confusing campus -especially the parts that involved things like the 'Danger Room'- Julia noticed she spent an awful lot of time keeping an eye out for a certain blue and furry mutant.

Marcy seemed to pick up on this, because the next subject she brought up was Nightcrawler. "So, you and Kurt seem kinda buddy-buddy."

"Yeah, well, I guess being shot at is a nice excuse to bond." Julia responded in a non-committal fashion, not really wanting to imply anything that wasn't based in fact.

"Mm. Still, it's a little unusual. Kurt's always been a little bit nervous around people, it's nice to see him making some friends outside of the X-Men."

"He's actually the first other mutant I've ever met."

"What? Seriously?" Marcy practically gasped.

"Seriously. Guess you could say I've been kind of a loner the last few years too. The news is one thing, but I haven't actually ever met anyone else with a mutation before yesterday. I suppose I must have thought that if I ignored it, it wouldn't be a problem. But then Nightcrawler ended up in my apartment, and I figured that was a pretty good indication it wasn't going to be that easy."

"It never is. The Professor likes to say that mutants all share a destiny, so we're never really as alone as some of us like to believe."

"It's nice to have that kind of ideal," Julia said honestly. "Y'know, it seems like the longer I'm here, the more tempted I am to stay."

"I'm sure we'd all like to have you," Marcy answered, but with a nervous twiddling of her fingers, still feeling a little shy it seemed. But at the very least, Julia knew the other woman was being honest with her, Marcy just didn't strike her as the sort to lie.

"It's nice to hear that. But I'm still not so sure. I'm a little old to be going back to school, even a special one." Julia shrugged, and glanced out over the lawn, where a group of kids were playing a game dubbed 'mutant-ball', being refereed by an astoundingly tall woman with white hair. Storm, if the news reports served her well. "Oh, there's one more thing I want to ask."


	3. Chapter 3

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's note: Not much to say here. So carry on. :) _

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

The route Marcy had given her led Julia to what was either the top floor of the mansion, or very close to it. She wondered what Marcy had thought of her asking where to find Kurt, but then decided it didn't really matter. She wasn't bothered by gossip, but even if she was, she doubted Marcy would be one to spread rumors. Maybe accidentally let something slip, but definitely not the sort to intentionally tell lies. So, that decided, Julia knocked on Kurt's door. She heard him softly bid her enter and did so, nearly falling to her rear in shock as she was met with Kurt's upside-down features peering at her curiously in half-shadow. He was, quite literally, hanging from the ceiling; or rather, what appeared to be a large, complicated jungle-gym attached to his ceiling, anchoring himself in place by his toes and tail; and he seemed as comfortable there as she was on the ground, holding an open book in his hands.

"Oh. Jyulia." He dropped from the bar he was dangling from, landing gracefully on his feet as though without thought, and it reminded her of a cat. For a moment she stood awkwardly in the doorway while Kurt set the book absently on a shelf near the door. She hadn't really gotten a feel for his acrobatics, but she was now under the impression they were very, very impressive. "I'm sorry I-"

"It's okay. I was just...startled. Or maybe the better word is impressed."

He seemed pleased by the comment, or perhaps flattered, fiddling his hands together. She was almost surprised to notice he was in a t-shirt and sweatpants, appropriately with a hole cut in the back for his tail, which twitched in a nervous fashion. She supposed she had never really expected to see him so casual for some reason "Vould you like to come in?"

"Sure. I was starting to think you were hiding from me or something, so I asked Marcy where I could find you." Nodding to acknowledge her statement, Kurt stepped aside, granting her access to what she was beginning to gather was his sanctuary. Aside from the numerous bars for him to climb on to his heart's content, there were movie posters scattering the walls, old and new but with a distinct pirate theme, shelves of books, though she couldn't see any of the titles in the half-lighting he seemed to prefer, a table and a bed pushed against opposite walls. Everything was very neat and orderly, all the posters perfectly aligned, the books straight and not a single volume out of place. She saw a lot of his personality reflected in the room, and found it all rather calming and likable.

He offered her the chair by the table, before resuming his place back onto the jungle gym, half-hanging, half-crouching in the intersection of two bars.

"_Were_ you hiding from me?" She asked, leaning back in the chair a bit, to better meet his gaze.

"Nein. Not exactly." He shrugged. "But de Professor vanted to make sure staying vould be your choice, not mine."

"You make a habit of kidnapping women or something?"

"Ja. Obviously." Kurt said it with such a straight face, Julia was almost tempted to believe him, but she figured she knew better, and let out a small laugh, Kurt's lips tilting up as well.

"Well, I guess just so long as you plan to let me go later, that's fine."

"You decided to stay?" It was equal parts statement and question.

"Yeah. For a little while at least. It's weird, but I like it here."

"Because ve are safe here." Kurt shrugged, absently dangling himself from the bar he had been perched on by his tail. She got the feeling he might be showing off a bit at this point. Her eyes wandered the room again, still so very curious about him, and centered on the collection of posters arranged above the bed. Circus posters; all of them advertising 'The Incredible Nightcrawler', or so she guessed, though her German wasn't very good -and most of the posters were in German- with varying depictions of him below the colorful writing. Her eyes focused mainly on one particular poster, which illustrated him as particularly demonic looking, the bright red words above declaring him things like "Freak Show", and "A real live demon!". She gritted her teeth, almost wanting to tear it down, but instead looked up at Kurt, still hanging from the ceiling like some kind of giant bat, watching her almost unblinkingly.

"You were in the Circus."

"Ja." He nodded, which looked odd from the angle she was observing him at, looking over his shoulder at the posters tacked to the wall. "Mostly before I vas in America."

"What did you do?"

"I vas an acrobat. Can't you tell?" Kurt gave her a quirk of a smile, moving through the bars in such a smooth series of motions, it seemed more like he was dancing on the ceiling.

"Suppose I could have guessed," She laughed. It was interesting to see him like this. Friendly and energetic, showing off for her. Before, he had seemed almost scared of her, but now it was as if he had decided they were friends. Or maybe he just felt more comfortable in his home turf, such as it were. "Did you like the circus?"

"Ja. I fit in a little better there." Kurt ceased his quick movements, settling in the crook of the bars he had perched in earlier, which was closest to Julia. "But nothing lasts forever."

"Maybe that's true," Julia said, though she liked to think some nice things at least lasted a long time. Friendship and love, for example, she would like to believe had some permanence on the grand scale.

"May I ask you a personal question Jyulia?"

"Sure. Fire away."

"Do your parents know vhat you are?"

Julia felt her lips purse, at first unsure of how how to answer, and then figuring the truth was usually the best course of action, answered as honestly as she could. "I don't know."

"Vhat do you mean?"

"I've never met my parents, no one seems to even know who they were. I just turned up on the doorstep of some hospital when I was baby. I never really managed to find a permanent home either. Though I suppose it was mostly my fault, I was always running away. I thought no one would want to keep me after they found out I was a mutant, that's why I repressed my powers so far. I guess I must have been hoping it would go away if I ignored it, and until then, I planned to pretend like there was nothing wrong with me."

"There is nothing vrong vith you Jyulia." His eyes were utterly sympathetic.

"Well sure, I know that now. None of that matters now."

"Ve should all know vhere we come from."

"Do you know your parents?"

Kurt shook his head. "I do not remember them, und I vas told they died long ago, But I had very nice adoptive parents."

"The ones who put you in the circus freak show?" She asked, and she hoped she didn't sound as sarcastic as she felt. 'Nice' and 'freak show' just didn't really go together in her mind. She didn't want to picture him like that, locked up somewhere so people could point and stare at him. That was cruel no matter the circumstances, no matter the person.

"The circus vas not so bad." Kurt dropped to his feet next to her with such grace it was truly astonishing. She was starting to think she actually might have liked to see him perform. "Outside vas vorse. Dat vas vhen they started to call me a damon."

"Why did you leave?"

"I just vanted to see more of the vorld. That vas all. And Professor Xavier offered me a new place to try belonging." He shrugged and propped himself up now on the edge of the desk, again in a half-sitting, half-crouching manner. It almost seemed he was more comfortable in such positions than standing upright.

"You know what amazes me the most about you Kurt? You have every right to be angry at everything, at everyone, and you're not."

"Vell, anger never did me much good." Kurt smiled slightly, though it was nearly invisible. "Vhen I get angry, I tend to look more like a damon."

"I have a hard time believing that."

"That I look like a damon?" He gave her a look of skepticism.

"I guess. I don't think of you that way, that's all. But uh...I also have a hard time picturing you angry. You seem very sweet."

"Just vait until you see me in the morning before I've had coffee."

"I'll keep that in mind and make sure I always have a thermos handy." Julia smirked, knowing full well she had been accused of the same problem. There was a moment of companionable silence, before there came a knock on the half-open door.

Once again relying on the the news stories which covered the X-Men, she reasoned this must be Cyclops based on the red-tinted sunglasses. "Sorry to intrude, but, you're Julia right?"

"That's me. Why?"

"The Professor wanted to try and work with you a little more before the day is out. Feel up to it?"

"Er...sure. I guess." She turned an apologetic smile in Kurt's direction. "Suppose I should go. I'll see you later?"

"Ja. I hope so." Kurt nodded, and Julia followed the other X-Man back down the hallway she had come.

* * *

><p>Everyone had a slightly different opinion of the newest mutant to appear in Xavier's school for Gifted Youngsters. That said, for the most part, they were positive.<p>

Kurt had grown rather fond of her in the short amount of time they had known one another and was glad to see she was staying, even temporarily. In a way, Julia was the most fascinating person he had ever met. Naturally, he wanted time to find out why this was so.

Logan, of course, was stoic about how he felt towards her. The only thing he would admit to in the matter was that he was glad he didn't have another teenager to wrangle.

Professor Xavier was always glad to meet and engage with fellow mutants, and Julia had, as far as he could tell, already proven herself to be of good character. He already perceived her residence being well-received.

Hank found her mutation positively interesting, and while he looked forward to hours of engaging research, he also found her a very likable individual. Not to mention, she seemed to get along well with Marcy, which was a feat in and of itself.

And shy little Marcy marveled at how easy a time she had talking with Julia. Very few people managed to coax more than a few sentences from her in first meetings, but something about her had made her very comfortable to talk with.

* * *

><p>Nearly a month later, it was another eight o'clock morning, and the coffee maker was moving much too slow for Julia's liking. She'd always been a bit of night owl, and wasn't really fond of mornings, not that the Professor's training schedule showed any respect for that. She was in the Danger Room by nine each day, working with several members of the X-Men or the students of the school, and alternated between these training sessions and working with either Dr. McCoy or Professor Xavier on the mental and scientific points of her mutation. On top of that, she had a hand-to-hand combat session with Logan three times a week.<p>

Though she could definitely say she was impressed with the improved control she had over her powers, and actually somewhat enjoyed taking out her frustrations on the seemingly inexhaustible number of robots and holograms in the Danger Room, that didn't exactly make getting up each morning sore and still exhausted from the previous day any easier. Still, she managed to convince herself to do it, so far anyway. And, blessedly, tomorrow was Saturday, which meant she at least had the weekend to look forward to and recuperate after the days training finished up that evening.

Finally, the coffee maker gave its last hiss, indicating the brew was done, and she poured herself a mug, plopping down at the breakfast table with toast and the coffee. Funny how she had never taken her coffee black before she got here. Caffeine had since become the priority over taste, and cream and sugar had thus become frivolous and time-consuming. She had a few moments of silence before Logan entered the kitchen as well, ignoring any sort of breakfast food and going straight to the fridge, removing a beer and a slice of pizza from dinner two days ago.

"Jesus, Logan, it's not even nine o'clock yet," Julia said indignantly.

"Yeah. So?" Logan raised an eyebrow at her, popping the cap off the beer using one of his claws. The first time she had seen him with the claws, it had freaked her out a little bit. It still did to a degree, after all, she was fairly certain twelve-inch blades growing out of one's hands wasn't normal, even for a mutant, but she didn't dare ask about them. It was fairly self-evident that you didn't ask Logan about personal history.

"I dunno, it's just, shouldn't you be setting a good example or something?" She nodded pointedly to the beer.

"I am setting a good example." Julia raised an eyebrow at him, Logan punctuating the sentence with a gulp of beer and bite of old pizza. "I'm a perfect example of what _not _to do," He clarified, when Julia merely stared at him in disbelief for a few seconds longer.

"Suppose that's valid," She agreed, smiling as she went back to her coffee, and Logan wandered out again. Another few seconds of silence, and then a familiar puff of smoke and hint of brimstone informed her that Kurt had now joined her in the kitchen, appearing in the immediate vicinity of her freshly brewed pot of coffee. Vaguely, she wondered if he had been able to detect it all the way on the top floor of the other wing, or if he just had a sixth sense for such things, or if it was simply a coincidence. She had figured it would still be startling to have him appear out of nowhere like that, but it barely fazed her. She supposed she must be getting used to this place, or at least, to Kurt's literal 'popping up'.

"Morning."

"_Guten morgen_," He mumbled in response, much more interested in finding a coffee mug than actually answering her.

"Just out of curiosity, do you ever walk anywhere?"

"Not before coffee."

"Ah. There's a mug by the sink. I think it's clean."

"_Danke._" He poured himself coffee, not checking the actual cleanliness of the mug and adding enough sugar for three people, then sat in the chair opposite her, looking more like he was going to fall asleep on the spot than get around to drinking it.

"Long night?" She questioned, curious despite herself.

"Something like that."

"Mind if I ask why?"

"They vere playing _The Count of Monte Cristo _last night, I stayed up to vatch."

"How late?"

"It started at vone in the morning." Unable to stop herself, Julia laughed just the tiniest bit, to which Kurt responded with a grouchy expression. "Vhat?"

"Sorry. You're just so devoted to your swashbuckling heroes. It's endearing."

"It's vone of my favorites." He shrugged, looking down into his coffee sheepishly.

"So I figured. It's one of the ones you have a poster for. Anyway, if you like the movie so much, why don't you own the DVD?"

"Oh...it's a bit difficult for me to go to the store, dat's all." Kurt shrugged as if it was no big deal, but Julia wasn't so sure she believed it. Though, she really was starting to wonder about her ability to put her foot in her mouth when it came to Kurt; no matter how polite she tried to be, she always seemed to say something that made them both feel awkward. "I keep meaning to ask somevone to get it for me, but I alvays seem to forget."

"Well, in that case, remind me next time I go out, and I'll make sure you get it, okay? I think I at least owe you that much for bringing me here."

"That reminds me, did the Professor manage to get your things back from the MRD?" Kurt abruptly changed the subject. Another thing Julia had gotten used to here; no one was very comfortable being the subject of conversation.

"Most of it anyway. They tossed a lot, mainly my books and stuff."

"Vere dey important?"

"Sort of. Sentimental value I guess. Nothing in my place was worth all that much, but I was pretty attached to it." She shrugged. "We managed to get there before they dumped most of my clothes, so at least I can stop borrowing Jean's finally. Don't get me wrong, she's got good taste and all that, it's just not my style." She plucked at the collar of her plain gray t-shirt for emphasis. Jean was the kind of girl who like things a little more frilly, feminine, and a little more figure-flattering; and while Julia didn't mind wearing things like that for special events, or on the days where she just felt extra-pretty, she infinitely preferred loose-fitting tops and jeans. "Anyway, I think I'm going to go for a walk and work out the kinks before the day starts. Want to come along?"

"Er...yes, dat doesn't sound like a bad idea," Kurt nodded, though he made sure to bring his coffee along as well when they started toward the door. "Have you liked being here?" He asked randomly, as she lead them on a course around the grounds. Most of the school's campus was still a bit of a mystery to her, but she hadn't managed to get too hopelessly lost yet. And she figured if they did Kurt could just teleport them back if all else failed.

"Yeah. I guess. Like I said, it's nice to be around so many other people like me. But at the same time, I just feel like I'm hiding. I know that A: I'm probably in trouble with the MRD and B: the world in general has a hard time accepting mutants, but I just don't know if hiding away in a mansion is really going to improve that. Nothing's going to change if we pretend like we aren't a part of the civilized world anymore."

"But ve are a part of the civilized world." Kurt was looking at her with an odd expression, as though he couldn't see the logic behind her thinking.

"Maybe some of us are, Jean and the Professor and Dr. McCoy might even be considered members of fashionable society; but then some of us can't even go and get our own groceries. Most of us are just hiding here, waiting for the world to change."

"Vould you prefer ve pick a fight with the humans?" There was no contempt in Kurt's voice, just curiosity.

"No. I don't know. Maybe. I mean, Professor Xavier is teaching us all to fight as much as he's teaching us control. That seems so...counter-intuitive to his whole idea. Shouldn't he be teaching us _not _fight if he wants us to eventually make peace with the humans?"

"He teaches us to fight so ve can use it to help the vorld. Not just humans, and not just mutants. I know it sounds cliché, but he vants us to learn to use our powers for a good cause." Kurt said so in a way that sounded more like it was a well-rehearsed school mantra than his own personal beliefs. Honestly, Julia had a hard time picturing Kurt wanting to be the champion of a people who hunted him and his kind, even when they hadn't done anything even remotely threatening. And there was no doubt in her mind Kurt had gotten more than his fair share of unkindness. "Unfortunately," Kurt continued after a moment's pause and contemplation, "-the vorld changes very slowly. Ve must vait for it, and in the mean time, hope ve can earn de public's trust."

"And is putting your life on the line and fighting the only way to do that?"

"I don't know, I don't have an answer for that, Jyulia. I don't vant you to think ve expect you to do the same. If you don't vant to fight, ve von't ask you to."

"Thanks Kurt, really. But...I haven't really decided on that either. Not all humans are bad, I'm not so jaded that I think that. And there are other mutants out there who will probably need help sooner or later. I'd like to help them, at least. But, well, this all depends on whether I end up being good enough to be an X-Man, doesn't it? Otherwise I'm still more-or-less just a student here."

"I think you vill." Kurt smiled a bit as they made a full circle of the mansion, and now began the trek down to the Danger Room.

"Oh yeah? What makes you think that?"

"Vell, you managed to impress Logan. Dat is a feat very few of us have managed, Jyulia."

* * *

><p>Even after twenty minutes in the hot water of her shower, Julia's shoulders still ached like they had been nearly pulled out of the sockets, and the rest of her wasn't in much better shape. Impressed Wolverine her foot; he still managed to nearly kill her in hand-to-hand combat training. Then again, knowing Wolverine, trying to kick the crap out of her was probably a sign of affection. She tossed her head back into the spray, rinsing out the conditioner she had left soaking in her hair for several minutes, and with much regret shut the water off while reaching for her towel. If nothing else, she could be glad for the fact that all this constant training was really improving her figure, if you could ignore all the bruises and scabs left over from the Danger Room of course; though she supposed sooner or later she would get better and not be in quite as much pain at the end of each day.<p>

She dressed in her Pjs and grabbed a book, prepared to settle into the cushiony couch of the guest room she had been staying in since she had arrived at the mansion, fully prepared to have a night of reading, relaxing, and maybe a movie before she went to bed.

"Julia? Are you still up?"

Groaning as she pulled her tired body up from the sofa again, Julia strode to the door and opened it to see curious, two-toned eyes peering in at her from the hallway.

"Sort of anyway. What's up Mars?"

"Uhm...a bunch of us thought it would be fun to go see a movie, and I heard you were feeling sort of cooped up, so I thought it would be good idea to invite you." Marcy twiddled her hands together as she spoke. Julia didn't have to ask to know who had probably suggested the idea.

_Kurt..._ Even though he didn't have nearly the same freedoms as Julia, Marcy, or most of the other mutants on the campus, he didn't want her to feel oppressed. The longer she knew him, the harder it was for her to believe that anyone could find a reason to hate someone like Kurt.

"Yeah, that sounds nice Mars. I'll take you up on that. Give me a few minutes to get dressed?"

"Sure, we'll meet you in the foyer, okay?" Marcy agreed with a bright smile, probably one of the first smiles Julia had seen her give that showed any teeth.

Julia nodded as Marcy trotted off down the hallway, and turned back into her room, swapping out pajamas for black jeans and a purple tank-top, smudging a little make-up on her face and, deeming it decent enough, grabbed a sweater and her boots, knowing her hair would be a mess once it dried regardless of whether she combed it or not.

But, rather than immediately heading down to the foyer, Julia went upstairs first, and continued on until she was in front of a familiar door, knocking on it lightly.

"Kurt? You in there? Can I come in for a sec?"

In response, the door opened, Kurt on his feet on the floor for a change, though she couldn't say it would have surprised her to see him on the ceiling anymore. "Vhat is it, Jyulia?"

"Why don't you come with us?"

"Vhere?"

"To the movies. I know you're the one who suggested it to Marcy. Why don't you come along?"

"It vould not be a good idea." Kurt shook his head firmly.

"Don't you ever get tired of hiding?"

"Of course I do...but..." He was looking at the floor as he spoke.

"But what?"

"It's better if I do. It makes things easier." He shook his head again, this time looking more despondent than anything else.

"But it'll be dark in there, no one would notice. And you could just wear a long coat with a hood or something-" Kurt placed his hand on her shoulder, shushing Julia.

"_Danke_. But I vill stay. I vouldn't vant to inconvenience you and the others trying to sneak me in."

"I just...I feel like such a jerk. Whining about being cooped up, and I didn't even think how much worse it must be for you."

"It's alright, Jyulia. You can tell me about de movie vhen you get home."

"Are you sure?" He nodded in response. "I'll bring some popcorn back for you too, okay?"

"I vould appreciate that. I haven't had real theater popcorn in long time." Kurt smiled in an encouraging fashion.

After a few more moments of trying to think of more arguments, Julia decided to let him have his way. It wasn't like Kurt _couldn't _go out in public, it was just that it was so easy to pick him out of a crowd, so easy to mark him as a mutant. Whenever he left the school grounds, he ran the risk of stirring up violence. She could understand why he would want to stay, even if it was like being trapped in his own room. Julia had been told Tony Stark and the Professor had been trying to figure out an 'Image Inducer' or rather, a holographic human disguise, but it was still in the beta stages, and with all the other things happening around the globe, Tony Stark was busy enough without the extra work. And even if it ever got done, no one had been able to guarantee it would work yet.

Poor baby could just never catch a break.

"Hey Kurt," She added as an after thought at the end of the hall.

"Yes?"

"Wasn't there something you wanted me to get?" For a moment, he only stared at her with confusion etched in his golden eyes, then it seemed to click and Kurt's mouth curled into a smile.

"Ja. There vas. Vould you please get me _Count of Monte Cristo_? I vill pay you back, I promise."

"Consider it done my friend." Julia smiled and gave Kurt a mock salute, heading downstairs before anyone got impatient with her.

* * *

><p>Julia had always had a passive liking for Science-Fiction movies, which had eventually developed into favoritism, so she couldn't say she was disappointed with the latest space-alien-invasion flick they had gone to see at the theater. Of course, movies about invading aliens also always managed to make the mutant community feel a little better about themselves. They would always be listed <em>below<em> aliens on the threats to national security, and that was a blessing worth counting. Then again, there were also a lot more alien super heroes than there were mutant ones, so that might be debatable.

No one asked why she insisted on carrying the half-empty bag of popcorn home with them, or why she asked to stop at a vintage video store on the way back; and that was just fine with her. It wasn't like she minded anyone asking, but she'd just a soon keep her personal feelings personal. Wolverine had pegged her right the very first day; she had one heck of a major soft-spot for the mutant known as Nightcrawler. But, as far as she was concerned, he was worth getting attached to. Marcy had been a great friend since she had been at Xavier's, so had Dr. McCoy, and many of the students, but Kurt had really been her rock. Whenever she was starting to feel overwhelmed with the training, the experiments, or just the world in general, he had somehow always been nearby to talk to, and he had always offered kind words and a gentle encouragement.

_If I get anymore mushy, I might start thinking I'm in love with him. _Julia thought, twisting a strand of her midnight hair around her finger. _But...it's still too early to be thinking about anything like that. I'm still not sure I want to become a super hero. Or even if I really want to stay at the school. I mean, call me crazy, but I don't really feel like going out of my way to save humans when half of them are on a vendetta to wipe mutants off the planet. But I was always told not to judge the whole by a part...I guess it doesn't matter. I've still got time to think about it. Right now, I should focus more on my training and get my control up to par with the others. Until then, I'm not much good to anyone. _

The group all bid goodnight in the hallway, and headed to their own separate rooms. Julia's guest room, for the Professor still hadn't decided where to put her otherwise, was in the wing opposite the main hall from the dormitories, but Julia headed upstairs first, intending to drop off Kurt's popcorn and DVD before she went to bed. She followed the route which was starting to feel rather familiar, and found Kurt's door was open, the occupant of the room situated up in the bars on the ceiling, reading from the looks of things.

"I come bearing gifts," She announced, in response to which he grinned, dropping from the ceiling to the floor. "One bag of overly-buttery popcorn, and one _Count of Monte Cristo_ DVD. And believe me, I had to dig through a lot of movies to find the 1934 version."

Kurt seemed positively joyful, actually clapping his hands together quietly in sheer glee. She smiled, finding it rather endearing, which seemed to be her favorite word to use in describing him, and handed the items over. "_Danke_, Jyulia. I'm very happy to finally own de movie. How much vas it?"

"Don't worry about it. It's a gift. You don't pay for gifts. Although, I will hint at the fact that I've never seen the Robert Donat edition."

"Vould...vould you like to vatch it vith me?"

"Definitely, only..."

"Only vhat?" He seemed suddenly nervous, though she couldn't guess why.

"Do you mind if we watch it in my room? The TV is bigger and...well, I just don't find the jungle-gym as comfortable as you do."

"_Ach_, yes, of course. I'm sorry, I-"

"Kurt, relax, it's okay. It's not that big a deal, alright?" She wondered why he was so prone to apologizing to her, especially over nothing. He looked a bit self-conscious, but recovered quickly once assured it really wasn't all that significant to her that he had forgotten she didn't have nearly as good a sense of balance as he did.

"Alright. Vould you like to take the shortcut?"

"Depends, what's the shortcut?" After she asked, she realized it ought to be obvious, seeing as Kurt was a teleporter and all. "Y'know, I'm starting to think your mutant name should have been 'Taxi' or something."

Kurt chuckled, but didn't seem to have a comeback, and offered her his arm as though they were going on a classy date. She hooked her hand around his elbow, and within her next blink, they were standing before the door to the guest room.

"I dought it vould be rude to simply barge into a lady's room," He explained, without her asking. Julia smiled; his consideration for her privacy much appreciated on her end. Not that there was a whole lot in the room to consider private, but the fact he had thought of it when he could poof in anytime he felt like it was just another of the reasons she liked him. Julia unlocked the door and invited him in, picking up a little dirty laundry as she went, so as not to appear too much of a slob, while Kurt went to the TV to set up the movie.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: Suppose I should mention that no, Kurt does not have the image inducer yet. Why? Because it's my story and I say so. <em>


	4. Chapter 4

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: So, this is a little shorter than usual (And I think I totally forgot to post last weekend) but anyway, this chapter took a lot of editing to finish. Action takes a lot of perfecting for me, and this was...odd action. Anyway, the next chapter will explain Julia's further development of her new mutation, among other things. Also, Julia's power continually develops in my imagination, so as I smooth it out in my mind, I have to edit a lot of the scenes where she uses it. Anyway, have at it. :)_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

For what was the second time in as many months, Kurt found himself waking up on an unfamiliar couch. Or at least, it was unfamiliar at first; after a few minutes he remembered he was still in the mansion, and he remembered the _Count of Monte Cristo_. And then, with a final jolt, he remembered he had been watching the movie with Julia.

He sat up so quickly he nearly gave himself a head-rush, but from the look of things, aside from covering him up and propping a spare pillow under his head, Julia had all but ignored him after he had so rudely fallen asleep on her couch. She was curled up under her quilt, little tufts of her dark hair the only evidence she was actually in the bed at all due to all the pillows piled on it. Well, at least that meant he hadn't been a terrible inconvenience or anything.

Still, he wasn't so naïve that he thought this didn't look a tiny bit intimate. It wasn't, but that wouldn't stop people, especially all those lovely teenagers running around, from thinking that it might be.

Better to sneak out before anyone noticed-

"Julia? Are you awake? Breakfast is getting cold."

Marcy. She was honestly a very loveable girl, especially if one asked Beast, but Kurt wasn't exactly glad to hear her on the other side of the door. He wouldn't just walk out, and if he teleported, Marcy would still know he was there. Clouds of smoke and his signature 'bamf' sound were pretty hard to miss. Perhaps he could climb out the window and avoid starting any gossip-

"G'way." Came a mumbled protest from somewhere under the blankets.

"I know it's Saturday, but I made pancakes. You said to always wake you up when I made pancakes."

This time Julia gave no response, and literally rolled out of bed, only managing to get her feet under her by sheer luck from the look of things. She shuffled over toward the door, seeming to be completely oblivious to Kurt altogether as he continued to stand awkwardly by her door while she pulled it open.

"Marcy. It's too early, even for pancakes," She groaned at the smaller woman out of Kurt's range of vision, rubbing her eyes in a rather cute and childish fashion.

"But it's...it's nearly noon..."

"Oh." Julia glanced over her shoulder at her clock, seeing that Marcy was telling the truth, the digital numbers reading eleven-forty. "Well, I guess I stayed up really late last night."

"Why?"

"Movie. Can I go back to sleep now?"

"Okay...sorry. Oh, yeah, I forgot, have you seen Kurt? No one's been able to find him since last night."

"Yeah, he's right here." Whether it was due to the fact she was still tired, or she just didn't care about the appearance of propriety, Julia shoved the door open the rest of the way, pointing at him.

For a long moment, all three of them stood in an awkward silence. Well, Kurt was awkward, Marcy had a look somewhere between suspicion and shock, and Julia didn't seem to have a care in the world as she yawned again.

"Uhm... is this what I think it is?"

Knowing a joke would only make matters worse, and trying to explain himself would likely only spur Marcy into more suspicion, Kurt stalled by not making eye contact with either of the women.

"Depends. What do you think it is?" He felt his jaw slacken ever so slightly as he glanced at Julia.

"Jyulia-"

"Er...you guys were doing it, weren't you?"

"Marcy, I dhink you've gotten the vrong idea-"

"Doing what?" Julia interrupted, smirking slightly.

"You know what I mean-"

"Nope. You're going to have to describe it to me."

"You guys haven't even known each other that long!" Marcy suddenly protested, to which Julia only laughed lightly.

"Relax, we were only watching a movie, I promise. Kurt fell asleep on my couch, and I gave up waking him up when all he did was snore at me." Marcy's eyes narrowed at Julia, then darted to Kurt, before going back again.

"I'm keeping an eye on you two," She stated, pointing between them as though they were children, and starting off back down the hallway, still looking a bit on the flustered side, Julia chuckling at her retreating back.

"Er...do I really snore?"

"Yep, horribly. Kept me up _all_ night." Julia laughed, but was shaking her head. "You were quiet as a mouse all night, trust me. I'd almost forgotten you were there till this morning. Anyway, I'm going back to bed for a little bit, I'm still pretty tired. You wanna stay or go?"

"Vell, I...guess I'll go..."

She smiled at him, albeit a bit of a sly one. "Don't leave on my account. I'm perfectly content either way."

Even if Kurt had had a clever reply, he wouldn't have gotten the chance to utter it, because the Professor chose this moment to blare into his brain.

_Nightcrawler, I need you to bring Julia to the War Room as quickly as possible. _

"Hey, I can just walk you know-"

_We haven't the time to argue. I need you bring as many of the others as you can find along afterwords. _

"He's using codenames. Suppose that means it's important." Kurt shrugged, knowing better than to argue with the Professor when he didn't bother asking politely. Julia hadn't yet become fully attune to the psychic communication the Professor used, or perhaps her natural immunity to anything deeper than simple talking prevented her from feeling the note of panic that had been in the mental link. "Sorry Jyulia, you vill have to go in pajamas."

"Lovely." He didn't give her time to argue, setting his hands on her shoulders and 'porting down the three floors necessary to reach the War Room.

* * *

><p>Julia plopped herself down rather roughly in the nearest high-backed chair with a slight sigh as Kurt vanished in another puff of smoke, accompanied by the usual 'bamf'. Apparently she didn't even get Saturdays off now, but the Professor looked pretty worried over whatever it was, so she figured she ought to hear him out before she started complaining too much. Jean and Scott stood on either side of the Professor, sharing his worried expression, or she figured Scott must be, it was hard to tell.<p>

"What happened?" She questioned, wondering why they would call her to something which seemed, so far, strictly X-Men business.

"Mutant meltdown," Was Scott's simple answer.

"What?" Kurt reappeared with Marcy, Hank, and Rogue in tow, while Storm drifted in through the window, interrupting whatever Scott's answer had been intended to be.

"I'd like to wait for Logan, but I fear we're rather short on time," The Professor stated, nodding toward the large television stationed in one of the walls. A news report was playing -according to the feed on the bottom, not being filmed very far from the school- showing what looked like a Mexican stand-off on the grand-scale. Rows upon rows of Purifiers and the MRD stood on opposing sides, all with guns leveled at what appeared at first to be one another, but Julia could pick out a single person in the center of it all. A person who glowed like a second sun. "This," The Professor gestured at the glowing dynamo, "-is a mutant, who appears to have lost control of his powers."

"Lost control?" Storm questioned, a silver brow shooting up.

"Indeed. I managed to connect with him momentarily using Cerebro, but I'm afraid his power scrambled the signal before I could learn anything conclusive, only that he has completely lost restraint over his mutant ability." The Professor arranged his hands in the steeple-shape, meaning, most probably, that he was thinking carefully about his next words. "He generates, as I suppose you can gather, pure radiation and photon driven explosions."

"A supernova," Dr. McCoy voiced in simpler words. "This is very, very bad. Professor, has he already detonated?"

"Twice. Which was more than enough to bring the MRD and the Purifiers to him. Our friend informed me, before we lost contact, that the more times he is allowed to explode, the more matter he will assimilate, and the larger the explosions will become. We must stop him before either the Purifiers or MRD make this worse. Or get caught in the next nova."

"Do we know what caused this?"

"I'm not entirely sure." The Professor shook his head, the worry on his face increasing slightly. "But it seems to be at least partially caused by an attempted treatment of mutations using radiation. Before this, he most likely had a void-like power, like yours Julia. But the radiation forced his body to undergo a second mutation. Which lead to this."

"How do ve stop it?"

The Professor glanced up at Julia, and she knew instantly what it meant. "I don't know about that Professor. We still don't understand _my _mutation fully, I have no idea what it'll do, to either of us, if I try to absorb the explosion. For all any of us know, _I'll _end up exploding too."

"'Sides that," Logan said, finally appearing in the doorway, but apparently having heard enough to get the jist of things, "-that ain't gonna stop him. It'll slow him down, but it won't put a stop to the explosions if he can't control it."

"Hank and I have been working on a less-harmful version of the MRD's power repressing tools. We think we've come up with something that will temporarily inhibit his powers, hopefully long enough for me to place the proper mental-blocks so that he will be able to control them on his own. But in order to attach it to him, we need to get rid of that energy field around him."

"So...what? I just stand there, absorb the energy, and hope he gets tired before I do?" Julia questioned, torn between wanting to be somehow useful and fearing she would somehow only make the situation worse.

"I'm hoping it won't come to that. Absorbing one explosion should suffice, it will take him at least a twenty minutes to regain sufficient energy for a second. Wolverine, you will act as Julia's wing-man, carrying the inhibitor. Out of those of us here-"

"I've got the best chance o' survivin' the explosion. Or at least healing from radiation poisoning. I know." Logan waved his hand, apparently not minding having the fate of hundreds of people put on his shoulders nearly as much as Julia was. Or having his own life potentially sacrificed.

"The rest of you will act as a buffer force, try to get as many people out as you can. Even the Purifiers if you can manage. Kurt, we'll need you to teleport Wolverine and Julia as close as you can without getting too close to the energy field-"

"Now hang on a second, I never said I agreed with this idea." Julia interrupted, even as the others began to rush out, presumably to suit-up and prepare, or in Hank and Logan's case, to retrieve the power-dampener. "Sorry, but I'm just not all that keen on not knowing what's going to happen to me."

"I know. And I'm sorry to put this on your shoulders Julia." The Professor looked at her earnestly as he spoke, and she could gather from his expression that hated that he had to ask her to do this, before she had fully completed her training, and especially considering she hadn't really decided to join the team yet. "Hank's tests show that you should be able to absorb even this magnitude of energy without side-effects. I fear you're our only hope Julia. If you don't try...the explosions will only keep building. He won't just hurt humans, he'll likely end up destroying the entire hemisphere, maybe the planet, given time."

Julia felt her hands curling into fists at her sides as she rose to her feet, her nails biting into her palms. "If nothing else...I want to help my friends." She decided after a moment. "If I can...if I can help, I will. But...what if it doesn't work? What if I just make it worse?"

"If you feel that you're in danger, we'll pull you away and try to find another solution," He said simply, though they both knew, silently understood, that there was no other readily available solution. The damage done by that time would likely be irreversible. "Please Julia, you must hurry, we haven't much time. It is only a matter of minutes before he can no longer contain this explosion."

* * *

><p>Her hands were shaking. She wondered if they they could all tell she was scared out of her flipping mind.<p>

_I'm going to die, aren't I? I'm going to die because someone thought it would be a good idea to try and cure mutants. Brilliant. They better write that in my freakin' eulogy. _

The Blackbird was making astounding time, and Julia found herself regretting the supersonic travel. That gave her less time to prepare. She had hoped, that if she were to ever go on an X-Men mission, it would have been something basic first. Something that didn't involve more lives than just her own. She could handle being responsible for her own well-being, but she didn't like the idea of having the lives of others placed in her hands. She really wasn't cut out to be a hero from the look of things. If anyone noticed her nerves, they were either too preoccupied or too polite to make mention of it. Save Marcy, in naught but a pair of boots and and short-shorts, an easily-removed towel the only thing protecting her top-half's modesty for the moment. Marcy's codename was Scarab, and once her armor-like mutation manifested itself, it provided a chest piece to cover her, but the claws and tail were a little cumbersome to travel with in the small confines of the Blackbird, so for the most part, she went like this. That said, she also didn't have any deep, universe-shaking pieces of wisdom either; all she said was that Julia would be fine.

She certainly hoped so.

Within what felt like moments, the supersonic jet came to a steady hover above the potential fire-fight, the supernova of a mutant in the center of it all.

"We all know what we're doing, so let's get this under control as quickly as possible," Cyclops instructed, whilst unlatching his harness. "We have to try and keep the damage to a minimum. Julia, Wolverine, good luck."

"Yeah. I think we're gonna need it." Julia muttered, glancing out the opening ramp at the scene below them. She could feel the tension from the MRD and the Purifiers even from where they hovered. All it would take was for one person to fire off an accidental round and all hell would break loose. Hopefully they could put some kind of stop to this before it came to that. She felt rather than saw Kurt appear at her side, his hand settling on her arm.

"Are you ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," She answered, her eyes meeting his briefly, then glancing at Logan, who's expression, whatever it might be, was hidden under his mask as he nodded at her.

"Yer gonna be fine kid. You got this."

"I hope this works as well as you all seem to think it's going to." Julia muttered, more to herself than the two at her side.

"Alright Elf, it's all you." Julia felt Kurt's fingers hook around her elbow, and once again, felt the nearly familiar sensation of her body leaving it's normal plane of existence. She was surprised how used to it she was getting. He dropped them off as near as he could get to the nova and his hand settled briefly in the center of her back.

"You vill be fine Jyulia. I'll come get you if dhings go bad."

She nodded, and the next second, Kurt was gone again.

* * *

><p>As far as Wolverine was concerned, an MRDPurifier confrontation was not worth getting out of bed for. An exploding mutant would also not be worth it. But, put the two together, and he could see how it might be a problem. The second this guy exploded anywhere near people, the Purifiers would have all the reason and justification they needed to open fire, then the MRD would have all the reason and justification they needed to open fire, and _they_ would have government backing, and a lot more fire-power.

Julia was jogging at his side, toward the glowing dynamo, and for all her under-confidence in her ability to help, he couldn't feel any fear from her. Nervousness maybe, but more for worrying about screwing up than anything. Brave kid. She'd be good at this. Probably better at it than Logan was, if she ever decided to make herself a permanent addition. But she seemed pretty indecisive so far.

He felt the ripple of oppressive energy before he got a clear view of the mutant responsible for it, and Julia's form gave a similar ripple, the parts of her skin visible in the standard X-Men training uniform changing; she looked like a three-dimensional negative photograph, and her skin and hair seemed to be in constant motion, reminding Logan of holograms; or Carol Danvers when she had gone by Binary.

"I think we're close," Julia stated.

"What gave it away?" She made a face at him, which was a bit hard to interpret, due to her eyes being the only thing he could really read on her face, the gray of her irises spreading to her entire eye, making them totally silver.

"You should probably wait here. I'll get closer, my powers usually seem to work better the nearer I am."

"You sure about this kid?"

"Not really. But I guess we'll find out." She gave him a thumbs up, and within a few steps away from Wolverine, she was bracing her feet in the dirt to keep from being blown back by the sheer pressure from the energy ball nearby. He was suddenly feeling this was a very bad idea. If her powers were no good, they might very well be screwed.

He would have mentioned the fact, but he didn't get the chance. The mutant they had hoped to help could no longer hold the destruction back. The explosion was blinding, literally like a supernova, but way, way too close for comfort, the noise from the shockwave was deafening; Logan raised a hand to shield his eyes, feeling that at the moment, the light was worse than the noise, wondering for a second if the X-Men being here had made a difference at all, but then the blast did the strangest thing. It was expanding out at an amazing speed, but then, just as quickly, it literally seemed to bend, fold back in on itself, shrinking down as rapidly as it grew, and vanishing as soon as it made contact with Julia. She had her heels dug into the dirt, her arms stretched out as far as they would go. It was truly an epic thing to see, even to Logan, and he'd seen a lot, and he doubted the training uniform was going to survive this much strain, the front already beginning to burn away, despite the near-indestructible material they were made out of. But the amazement was sort of smothered as her face began twisting between an expression of concentration and pain, Julia's knees seeming to buckle.

"I dunno how much longer this is going to work! It's really starting to hurt!"

"Just hang on a little longer. The energy field has to be gone for the power dampener to work," He encouraged to the best of his abilities, hand on the collar-like device, prepared to jump in the second the explosion died down enough for him to get close. The light from the blast flickered, then began to fade, steadily growing dimmer until with another burst of pressure and noise into the vacuum it left, it dissipated entirely, though the air still felt charged, almost electrical. Her knees hit the dirt, the front of the uniform was barely clinging to her, and Julia was holding her head, but she pulled a hand away to point at the other mutant.

"Go! I can't feel anymore energy, you have to go now!" Trusting her judgment, Wolverine sprinted past her, finding the mutant who was the cause of all this in a crumpled heap about twenty feet from where Julia and he had been stationed a moment ago, Beast and Scarab chasing off the Purifiers who were suddenly brave enough to approach. Wolverine clipped the collar around the poor guy's neck, and was nearly sickened by the look of relief on the man's face.

"I...I'm cured?"

"Not quite bub. Considering a 'cure' is what got you into this mess, I wouldn't be too keen on trying it again."

Scarab wandered closer now that the blast had died down, giving Wolverine a questioning look. "That went better than I thought it was going to."

"No kidding."

"Is Julia okay?" Wolverine turned to look over his shoulder, where Julia was still hunkered down.

"Er-"

"You're such a jerk Logan." Scarab grumbled, striding past him towards Julia. In response, he could only shrug. What could he say? He had sort of forgotten Julia was new to all this. "Julia? Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm melting."

"What?"

"Marcy, I'm melting." Julia raised her hand toward Marcy's face, and the smaller woman halted with a small gasp. Her fingertips weren't so much melting as they were evaporating, swirling off as if she were made of smoke. It was spreading down her arm, her sleeve seeming to deflate as her body continued to dissolve.

"Oh my- Hank! Hank something's gone wrong!" Scarab turned to shout over her shoulder where Hank was gathering the exploding mutant up from the ground. "Something's wrong with Julia!"

He rushed over, but hesitated, unsure what to do for her. "Julia-"

"Don't touch me, I don't know what's happening...it might be dangerous..." Her voice was weak, as though it was fading away with the rest of her. She stood, though Logan didn't imagine her legs would stick around much longer than her arms had, staggering a few steps away before collapsing again, strands of her shadowy hair beginning to swirl away exactly as her arms had.

"What do we do? What's happening to her?" Marcy questioned, looking between Beast and Wolverine desperately.

"I...I don't know. The explosion might have been too much for her body to handle, but I don't know why it's causing this." Hank seemed frazzled, one of the few times Logan had seen such a thing, but it was rare Beast didn't have an answer to something. "I don't know what we should do," He confessed after a moment, but he approached her carefully anyway, Julia continuing to fade in and out, seeming solid one moment and ethereal the next. "Julia? Julia, can you explain what's happening?"

She gave a weak shake of her head. "I can't feel anything..."

"Chuck said that guy was giving off radiation when he exploded," Wolverine thought aloud suddenly. "He said it forced a second mutation."

"Of course! Julia must have absorbed the effects as well as the radiation, she must be undergoing a forced second mutation, she can't control it. We have to get her to-"

"Guys...I don't feel...so good..." With those words, Julia exploded. Well, that probably wasn't the correct word. It was more like she disintegrated into microscopically tiny pieces, specks swirling around in a cloud of what could best be described as plasma, her entire uniform deflating like a popped balloon as her body vanished, but formed a nebula-like jumble just above where she had been sitting. Logan felt his jaw drop open briefly, and he would guess his expression was mirrored by the others.

"Oh my god! Julia!" Marcy was the first to speak, taking several steps as though to touch the peculiar mass of energy that had once been Julia, but Hank took a hold of one of her claw-like hands, warning her against touching it.

"We don't know what that will do if you touch it."

"But it's Julia-"

"We don't know that," Wolverine put in bluntly. "We don't know anything about that." He gestured to the cloud. It was swirling and sparking like a small lightening storm, the various specks darting around as though trying to arrange themselves into some sort of form. Was Julia conscious like that? Trying to put herself back together? "Okay Hank, you're the doctor, what do we do?"

"I wish I could tell you, but I haven't had enough time to study her to know what to suggest. I think the only we can do is wait and see if she's able to reform on her own."

"How long will that take?" Logan questioned, eyeing the Purifiers who were still circling like vultures. He didn't know what things were like on the other side of the Mexican stand-off, but he didn't think they had much more time before they started getting brave enough to attack.

"Not long." Marcy responded, gesturing at the object of interest. The nebula form had now returned to a human shape, a vague one at first, before the details starting to form in a slow accretion of all the remaining plasma cloud, before a fully-formed, albeit naked, Julia stood before them, shifting back into her human body as steadily as she had reformed into a solid, going face down in the dirt with a groan.

"Holy shit. I think I'm going to puke..."

Unable to stop himself, Wolverine chuckled. There was just something about this girl that was really likable. "Good to have ya back kid."

"I was gone?" Her head raised slightly, gray eyes peering at him in tired disbelief. "Uhm...why am I naked...?"

"Maybe not gone, but you were definitely in some really, really little pieces." Logan picked up the X-Men uniform and draped it over her as best he could, seeing as she didn't seem to have any strength in her arms to dress herself.

"We'll figure out what exactly happened after we get back to the mansion. I don't think we have much more time." Beast gestured to the bolstered ranks of Purifiers that had been safely at their backs, but were now steadily approaching, guns raised. "And I don't think the MRD is feeling any more agreeable." Hank scooped up the exploding mutant, who had been watching the entire scene with something akin to blank shock, and Logan did the same for Julia, who hung in his arms like a wet noodle and evidently decided to pass out, starting back towards the Blackbird.

* * *

><p>Nightcrawler wasn't quite sure what the feeling of dread that passed through him was when he saw Logan approach the jet with a seemingly boneless Julia in his arms, but panic closely followed it and he realized after a moment that he was jogging in Wolverine's direction.<p>

"Jyulia?"

"She's okay Elf. Just worn out."

"Er...Logan, vhy is she naked?"

"She exploded and stuff. We'll explain later, we should really get out of here," Marcy interrupted, ignoring the utterly confused expression Kurt gave her in response. "Come on let's go." She nudged him towards the jet ramp.

"Jyulia _exploded_?"

"What part of 'we'll explain later' did you miss?"

"Uh...all of it I guess."


	5. Chapter 5

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Basically, I felt like the last one ended oddly, so I should post this right away. I just didn't really have a better place to make the split... Anyway, so, this discusses Julia's second power, aka plasma transporting (this is what the picture in my profile is trying to illustrate). Essentially, the best example I can give you is to think of the transporters in Star Trek, only much faster and much shorter range (and less like glitter), plus, she leaves little streaks of energy that resemble smoke (or plasma) behind her as she moves before she reforms, but that's really the only thing you can see when she moves this way. This all seemed really awkward in the story, so I tried to flesh it out more up here. Sorry it's so long. Anyway, not a very actiony chapter, but Kurt and Julia's relationship is finally starting to develop. :)_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

The first thing that Julia thought when she woke up staring at a tile ceiling was that she was in a hospital, and therefore she panicked. Hospitals were not good places for mutants to be, especially when one had been unconscious for who knew how long.

She threw herself out of the bed, only to realize when her feet hit the ground that her legs didn't seem to be working any longer, and she full-frontal smacked down onto the linoleum floor.

"Owww..." Unable to force herself onto her feet again, Julia settled for pushing herself up onto her elbows, glancing around and realizing she actually recognized the room. The infirmary in the mansion. She was back in the Xavier institute.

Wow. Now she felt silly _and _she was stuck on the floor. Terrific.

"Jyulia? Are you alright? Uh...vhat are you doing on de floor?" Apparently drawn by the thud her crash to the floor had made, Kurt appeared in the doorway looking like he expected to find her covered in blood.

"Oh. Hi. I think I'm fine, I just...my legs didn't quite catch up to me." She gave him a half-serious smile and a limp thumbs up. "Don't suppose you could maybe...lift me up?"

"Not a problem."

She expected Kurt to just lift her up to her feet and help her over to the bed, but instead he scooped her off the floor altogether with an arm around her shoulders and one under her knees, carrying her back to bed, and she found herself unusually comfortable being so close to him, being in his arms that way. Sadly, he sat her down before she could decide why that was the case.

"So, were you sitting out there waiting for me to fall or something? That was a really fast response time." She questioned curiously, occupying herself with making sure the hospital gown she suddenly realized she was wearing covered her decently. Thankfully, someone had put underwear on her in her black-out, so at least she needn't worry about that.

"Nein. I vasn't vaiting for you to fall, but I vas coming to check on you."

"Have I been asleep a long time?"

"Only a few hours since ve got back. How are you feeling?"

"Alright I guess. I'm still not entirely certain what happened though." Julia shrugged, wiggling her toes in an attempt to get the feeling back in her legs. They felt like she had been laying with them at an odd angle for several hours. "I mean, I remember stopping the guy with the explosions, but after that it's kinda foggy."

"Marcy said you evaporated. Vhich is probably true, Hank and de Professor think dat all the radiation you absorbed caused you to develop a new mutation."

"A new mutation? That happens? And I...evaporated?" Julia wasn't sure what she thought of this story. She remembered the part where the Professor warned her about radiation, but the new mutation bit was a little difficult to wrap her mind around. Of course, she also had very, very foggy memories of what had happened after the explosion.

"Ja. I guess so anyvay, I vasn't there to see it. But second mutations are fairly common, Hank didn't look so much like a lion until he mutated a second time."

"So if it's a new mutation it's permanent? Does that mean I could do it again if I wanted to?"

"Probably, yes. Dat's really more of a question for Hank though."

"Geez. What a day." Julia flopped her head back into the pillow heavily, squeezing her eyes shut and rubbing her hands over them. "Did we at least keep the MRD and Purifiers from murdering people or themselves?"

"Ja. Nobody died."

"Well, I guess that's good." She pulled her hands off her face, and grinned up at Kurt. "So, does that make me a super hero now?"

"As far as I'm concerned Jyulia, you are most definitely qualified to be a super hero." He smiled back, but it faded it back to something closer to serious after a moment. "Are you having trouble valking?"

"I guess. I mean, my legs just don't seem to be working at all. Like they fell asleep, you know? Only it's not going away."

Kurt, though he had already been standing fairly near the bed, approached a bit closer. "Do you mind if I have a look? Your body may be having trouble coping vith a new mutation."

"Uh...are you a doctor?"

"Not a doctor no. But I am a trained medic. Ve thought it vould be a good idea for vhen Hank is busy."

"Oh. Alright then. As long as you know what you're doing, sure. I just wanted to make sure you weren't making excuses to get all touchy-feely." She chuckled as she spoke, hoping to communicate it was a joke, but Kurt seemed to take it very personally, his face flushing a noticeable shade of purple, which was interesting as it was mostly hidden by his fur, as he took several exaggerated steps backward.

"I vould never- I vill just go get Hank-"

"Kurt, Kurt calm down," Julia placated, partially alarmed by his reaction, but mostly sorry she had upset him so badly. "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean it like that, I was only trying to be funny. You should know by now I think you're way more respectable than that. But secondly, I never said I would mind, did I?"

"O-Oh..." He seemed to turn a slightly more red shade of purple, and stayed where he was, a good five or six feet from the edge of her bed. Of their own accord, Julia's fingers started to twist her long hair, a nervous habit she had possessed since childhood. She had tamed it considerably though, as she had used to end up with horrid rats in her hair fairly often as a child.

"Can I ask...why you're always so nervous around me Kurt? I mean I just...I'm never sure what to say to you." Kurt shrugged in response, but his tail was twitching quickly; his own nervous habit surfacing. "Is it because I flirt with you? I can stop if it bothers you." He didn't give her an answer right away, and Julia twisted her hair a little harder. "Uhm...wow, this is kind of uncomfortable." She winced when she found the strand of hair she had been twisting was knotted up to her scalp, pulling at the roots painfully.

"It's because you treat me differently." Kurt finally said, distracting her from untangling the knot in her hair.

"Differently?"

"You treated me like I vas normal, even though I'm not. It vas strange, it still is. I don't know how to react."

"The other X-Men treat you like you're normal," She said, rather confused.

"Vell...yes, but...not the vay you do. Like you said, dey do not...er...flirt vith me."

"Ah. I see. I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was being a problem..."

"Nein, dat isn't vhat I meant. It's just strange to me is all. Like I said, I vasn't sure how to react, and I suppose I still don't...I dhink that's vhat makes me nervous."

Julia felt a smile creeping onto her lips, but she couldn't really explain the feeling behind it; some soft emotion that made her want to cuddle Kurt till the end of days. He had no idea how adorable he was, blue and all, and as much as his obliviousness irked her, it made her feel all the more affectionate toward him. "Come here for a second." She patted a space next to her on the mattress, and though he regarded her with hesitancy at first, Kurt soon gave in to her persuasive stare and sat on the edge of her bed.

"I just want you to listen for a bit, okay?" She asked, and he nodded his agreement, though he didn't seem to be exactly trusting of her intentions. Julia ignored, for the most part, his discomfort, and continued on with what she wanted to say. "You're a very pretty man Kurt, and I know that might sound a little weird, but I mean it, sincerely; and you look good blue. I like you, and I treat you that way. That's all there is to it. It's not because I feel sorry for you or have any ulterior motives or anything like that, I promise. I just think you're cute."

For a painfully long-drawn moment, Kurt was silent, seemingly pondering over what she had said.

"I'm not sure about the 'pretty', but I vill accept being cute."

"Alright, at least that's progress. I'll take progress." Julia smiled, laughing a little to herself. "People don't all think the same, but you shouldn't let the ones who can't see past their own judgments be the ones to decide how you see yourself, okay?"

"You seem very vise in these dhings Jyulia." Kurt stated with a hint of curiosity.

"Yeah, well, I read a lot of romance novels. I suppose they make a me a hopeless optimistic believer on the inside."

"Romance novels? Perhaps we should suggest dem to Logan. He could use a little optimism." Though his tone was quite serious, Kurt's face had broken into a fangy grin, obviously picturing Logan with a bodice-ripper romance and getting quite the kick out of it.

"And I think he'd probably skin you for the effort," Julia answered, giving his shoulder a light shove. It was more a pat than anything else, but still. "But seriously now, about my legs?"

"_Ach_, yes, sorry. You distracted me." The words had a sort of false-sterness to them that told Julia he didn't mind the fact at all.

* * *

><p>After a few more days in the infirmary wing, Julia's legs, which had merely been weak from the first manifestation of her new mutation, were more or less back to normal, and she was allowed to leave. She'd also gotten a handle on the 'melting' as everyone seemed to refer to it. Breaking herself apart and putting herself back together was now as easy as shifting from human to energy form. It took a little more concentration to keep herself together as the cloud of charged plasma, required a lot of energy to perform multiple breakdowns, and her time was usually very limited, but with continual practice it got easier; to the point where she could actually make herself move several feet before reforming to solid again. After a few tests, Dr. McCoy was able to classify it as energymatter-displacement, rather that a short range form of teleportation. She didn't leave the current dimension the way Kurt did, she charged her body with a burst of her odd energy, which temporarily broke her apart and allowed her to move at a speed that was hardly visible to the human eye. Basically, what would take a few seconds in her normal shape happened instantaneously in her plasma form. With a little finesse, she could usually pass around or through spaces in obstacles just as quickly, having no definite shape as a cloud of 'anti-energy' ionized particles. The only problem was she ended up naked every single time.

Though she still had the same trouble of her body trying to break apart and fade away if she stayed out of her human form too long, most of her abilities being based on her own supply of power, and her energy absorption skill stayed the same, this new mutation did seem to extend the time she was able to hold a shift, from ten or fifteen minutes to nearly half and hour. Or perhaps that stemmed from now being able to control her body's shape, to a degree.

Julia pondered the events of the last several days while taking what was beginning to become her customary morning walk. Kurt often joined her, but that usually depended on whether he had finished his morning coffee or not when she chose to leave; today she hadn't even seen him yet. Figuring he had simply chosen to sleep in this morning, Julia carried on with her walk around the grounds, thinking on her life recently. She realized that thoughts to the extent of her own powers had never crossed her mind before coming here. As far as she had been concerned, she was a mutant, and that was all she needed to know about any of it.

Now she knew it was more than that. She wasn't as dangerous as she thought, she had more control and confidence than she had ever truly thought possible, and not only that, she had been able to put those same powers to some sort of use. Of course, it likely wouldn't have been possible on her own, and alone was how she had lived ever since she had left the orphanage she'd been more or less raised in. This turned her thoughts back to that orphanage, the kind old Hispanic woman who had been like Julia's surrogate mother; she even shared her last name.

The nurses at the hospital where she had been found had been the ones to call her Julia, but Esmerelda Hayle, a widow who had turned her deceased American husband's stately old manor into an orphanage, had been the one to start putting 'Hayle' on her school supplies, as though Julia were her own daughter. Come to think of it, she had never really been certain whether 'Nana' Hayle had known Julia was mutant. Would she have been as kind to her if she had?

Maybe she ought to go back to the little town in Arizona. See how Nana Hayle was doing. She had left pretty suddenly, nearly seven years ago now, and she had never really said goodbye or anything of the sort, though she had sent letters for the first few months on her own. She had just wanted to get out before she stared causing any trouble.

"Well well, you certainly look lost in thought."

Julia started, having not realized in all her pondering that a large mass of blue fur had been about to cross her path. Or rather, she had been about to crash into him.

"Oh. Dr. McCoy. Sorry, I was...yeah, lost in thought." She smiled as she tilted curious eyes up to meet his yellow ones; it never ceased to astound her how similar he was to Kurt in appearance without the two of them being related in the slightest. It made her wonder about what the Professor was always saying about mutants sharing a destiny. Could it be more than that? What if all mutants had some kind of common ancestor or something? They would be like a giant family. Though that didn't really explain what had started the process of mutation to begin with; she supposed that some things were just meant to be a mystery.

"I really do wish you would refer to me as Hank like everyone else. We are friends by now, aren't we?"

"Of course. I guess it's just a hard habit to break is all." Julia shrugged, a faint smile making itself known.

"Would you care for an extra ear to listen to your troubles?"

"Now who said anything about being troubled?" Julia questioned, but the raised eyebrow Hank gave her next told her that her expression had been convincing enough. "I suppose a second opinion would be kinda nice..." She shrugged, sticking her hands in the pockets of her jeans. Feeling awkward standing in one place, Julia started her walk again, Hank easily keeping pace with her slow steps.

"If you don't mind my being bold, does this concern Kurt?"

"Kurt? No, it actually doesn't have much of anything at all to do with him. Why would you think that?" Julia asked, equal parts confused and perhaps a little embarrassed.

Hank merely shrugged away her rather snappish response, a smile almost hiding beneath his fur. "I'm sorry, it's just that rumors do fly about your chemistry. I suppose it was rude of me to presume."

"Not rude exactly, but definitely a little presumptuous, yes," Julia answered, keeping her tone flat. She wasn't sure how exactly she wanted to respond to that. "But it's not about Kurt. I was remembering the place I grew up."

"Ah, are you feeling a little homesick then?"

"I don't know if that's the word I'd choose. I was just thinking about how different I feel now. Now that I know so many other mutants and know so much more about my own powers. Things seem really, really different from when I was kid."

"Different good or different bad?" Hank asked, his gaze at her neutral.

"Good, I think. Things were definitely simpler as a kid, just hiding my mutation, but I don't think simpler was really better. If nothing else, I've met some really good friends."

"I think I speak for everyone when I say we feel the same about you coming here." Hank's smile this time was much more visible. "And for what it's worth, if you do feel homesick, feel free to talk to the professor about taking a trip to visit your family. Family is important."

"Oh, there's no family down there. Not really. Just old friends."

"Old friends are just as good," Hank encouraged, setting a paw-like hand on her shoulder before altering his course slightly to head back into the mansion.

"Hey, Hank?"

"Yes?" His smile widened as she finally used his first name. Probably the first time since she had arrived at the Xavier institute.

"Exactly what kind of rumors are going around about me and Kurt?"

"Only the kind that are easy to believe," Was Hank's flippant response as he vanished into a convenient side-hall leading into the Mansion.

Well, that certainly didn't help her. Just what the hell was that supposed to mean? For the time being, Julia opted to push that aside, and thought instead about whether she might consider paying a visit to Arizona.

* * *

><p>"Professor?"<p>

"Ah, Julia. Come in." Professor Xavier waved a welcoming hand to her, setting aside the papers he had been grading, presumably for his physics class. "How are you feeling?"

Ever since her brief stay in the infirmary, Professor Xavier had been especially concerned with her health, likely feeling he was responsible for the stay, even knowing she had gotten involved in the incident of her own accord. "I'm fine. I still can't manage the displacement and keep my clothes on though. I can't change them, so I can't move them." She felt her mouth unintentionally quirk at the sheer oddity of the statement.

"Ah yes. I suppose that's something we'll have to look into fixing soon," The Professor nodded, a thoughtful finger tapping his chin. "Speaking of which, have you opted on a codename yet?"

"Actually, I thought of one this morning." Julia nodded. Codenames had always seemed so silly to legitimately think of, but now, on the verge of needing one, she realized how much thought had to go into them. After all, no one would want to end up with something they would hate in two weeks. And, with all the thinking of the orphanage and Arizona and Nana Hayle, Julia thought she had finally found one she wanted to use. The Professor had informed her recently that it had been agreed upon that Julia was welcome to become a part of the team if she wished. All she needed was to say yes and a codename.

Yes had been easy. She had realized after the MRD/Purifier/Nova showdown how good it felt to put her powers to something useful. It made her feel like less of a freak of nature, and more like...she had been gifted. It had been a revelation, and she was willing to stick by it. The codename...that had been a little more difficult. Several days and several sheets of paper later, she had finally settled on something. The name of an old story Nana Hayle had told her once, plus, it suited her powers. She did after all tend to eclipse anything light-based. The story itself was a bit dark, but the moral was about misjudging those different from yourself, and it held a certain appeal to her. "I'd like to go by 'Eclipse'."

"Eclipse," The Professor echoed, before smiling lightly, probably picking up on the deeper meaning behind it in her thoughts, as well as the obvious significance. "Yes. I think that will do perfectly. I'll see to getting that set up in the database later this evening. Also, I'm glad you have decided to join the X-Men, Julia. You've already proven yourself a fine addition, and hope you will continue to do so."

"I hope so too," Julia said, for all her determination, she was still a little unsure about it. Helping people, especially other mutants, held a lot of appeal to her; but she was unsure how long it would hold that appeal whilst being hunted by the government. At least now she had the codename, so it would be harder for the MRD to connect her with the events at her apartment, all that time ago; if they even still cared about it. She imagined she'd manage to stir up new trouble now regardless.

"Now then, you were coming here to ask me something I believe, what can I help you with?" The Professor asked, for a moment throwing Julia off, before she realized he had probably picked up on her intentions on her way here. While it was true the Professor couldn't get too deep into her thoughts, she still didn't think she would ever get used to him being able to decipher what she wanted to say before she spoke.

"Right. That. I know I just arrived here and everything, but I was curious about vacation time?"

"Vacation?"

"Yeah. There's somebody I wanted to visit, back in Arizona where I grew up. I was hoping I could get some time to do so."

"I don't see why not. However, I don't know whether it would be wise to go for another few days..."

"Why?"

"Well, Marceline was hoping to invite you herself, but I suppose it's just as well that I tell you now. We're hosting a benefit dinner here at the institute, partially to gather proceeds for mutant-assitance programs, and partially so that her orchestra will have an opportunity to debut."

"Orchestra? Marcy has an orchestra?" Julia questioned.

"The student orchestra," Professor Xavier elaborated. "They've been practicing very hard, and Marcy thinks they're ready for a real audience."

"Ah, so you hold a fancy to-do in the mansion, prove we're just normal people, and gather a few sponsors, yes?" Julia mused aloud.

"Essentially, yes, that's the idea. We're also planning to invite a few of our more reluctant parents, and show them that their children are being well-cared for."

"Hey, sounds brilliant. And fun. Only..."

"Only what?" The Professor raised a curious brow at her.

"It's just...what are you going to do with Logan? Suit and tie affairs don't really seem his thing..." In fact she was thinking how it would look to have him waltz in on a dinner party in his favorite jeans and flannel, swigging beer with a piece of pizza skewered on his claws. The institute would likely be doomed if that happened.

"Ah yes, but we won't have to worry about that. Logan has already volunteered himself to take a few of the younger students on a camping trip."

"Gotcha. Keeping all the troublemakers together, huh Professor?"

"Something like that, I suppose."

* * *

><p><em>Second A.N: I suppose I should mention that 'Nova' is the unofficial name I gave the guy who exploded. He's basically just a spoof off Nitro, but I didn't want to use Nitro, so. Yeah, that's about it. :)<em>


	6. Chapter 6

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Hee hee. Oh the Drama. It's like Degrassi, only better. I hope. ANYway, things are starting to get fun. :) Other than that little tid-bit, I'd like to say thanks to the reviewers. Because support makes me want to keep writing. Also, this is probably my second favorite part I've written so far. Either way, carry on. _

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

Two days later, preparations for the concert/dance/dinner were well underway. The mansion was being cleaned top-to-bottom, the various electronics moved to where they wouldn't be bothered by guests, or vice-versa, and a few reserved, but still very elegant, decorations were going up in the main hall, which would would apparently be the center of the event.

Marcy had been a little upset about not being able to give Julia the formal invitation first, but was quickly placated by being the one to take Julia dress shopping, as she had figured jeans and a t-shirt wouldn't be appropriate for this swanky little party. She had helped her pick out a very pretty dress made out of some kind of silvery material. It was a fairly simple off-the-shoulder little number, with a few ruffles along the skirt, and was just the right fit to not appear too slinky. Plus, it wasn't overly fancy, so she could wear it for other occasions as well, though she wasn't sure what at the moment.

Whilst plotting what shoes to wear with such a dress, Julia was more or less unaware that Kurt was stuck on a wall near the ceiling of the hallway which lead to the the main hall -stringing up the last of the party lights- until his tail abruptly looped around her waist, easily lifting her off her feet and dangling her a few inches off the ground.

"Hey-! Kurt!" Her eyes snapped up to meet his, taken completely by surprise, and judging from the smile on his face, he had intended it that way. He set her down anyway, probably thinking it best to put her on her feet before she tried to hit him. "What are you doing? I nearly had a heart attack!"

"You had such a serious look on your face, I thought it vas necessary to distract you." His smile widened slightly, looping the last of the light string on a hook near the ceiling. "Besides, you vere getting very near de stairs, and I vas vorried for your safety."

"Right, and no big deal if I die from shock at the same time, right?"

"I figured you vould be used to me sneaking up on you by now." He gave her what she guessed was his most innocent expression, pretending like he had been harmlessly dealing with the lights the whole time, crouching on the wall easily, as though it were horizontal. Or he was a giant gecko. "Vhat vere you thinking so intently about?"

"Girl stuff."

"Girl stuff?"

"Yeah. About the concert. Speaking of which, are you going?"

"Ja, of course. Marcy vould probably hurt me if I didn't." He pried himself off the wall to land on his feet next to her, observing his light job thoughtfully. "Do dhose look even?"

"Looks good to me." Julia nodded. "Oh, actually there was something I wanted to ask you. Since we're both going, wanna be my date?"

Kurt's expression stayed mostly neutral, though she didn't miss his eyebrows darting upwards briefly. "Date?"

"Yeah. Or at least, you know, go together. Hank is Marcy's date, more or less anyway, Jean and Scott are going together, I figured we could." Julia shrugged. "We don't have to of course, I just wanted to ask."

"Vill I need to bring flowvers?"

"Er...flowers? No, I don't know why you would..."

"Aren't I supposed to bring flowvers to a date?"

Julia couldn't hold back a smile and light laugh at his round-about way of agreeing, though mostly she supposed she was just pleased he had said yes. Sort of. "Yes, flowers are usually common practice, but no, you won't need to bring any."

"Either vay, it vill be an honor, Jyulia." Kurt grinned and gave her a very exaggerated bow, taking her hand lightly and kissing it the way gentlemen did in old movies. It made her stomach do an odd flip, but it was in no way unpleasant.

"You know, sometimes I have a hard time telling whether you're the sweetest person I've ever met or just the smoothest talker."

"All sweetness, dat I promise you _liebling_."

"_Liebling? _What does that mean?" Kurt abruptly released her hand, looking faintly startled, as though not realizing what he had said.

"It is...it's a term of endearment is all..."

"Okay, as long as you're not insulting me in a language I don't understand."

* * *

><p>"Ugh...stupid hair..." Julia grumbled a few hours later, the glittery clip Marcy had lent her stuck between her teeth as she attempted -for what felt like the umpteenth time- to twist her hair into some semblance of obedience. She had conditioned it extra long, put smoothing serum and leave-in conditioner in it, combed it, even blow-dried it, and yet the vicious little strands fought her like Spartans. "I swear, if you don't look right this time, I'm going to cut you all off." She realized how ridiculous she must seem, talking to her hair, but no one else was around to hear it, and it wasn't like she was going to follow through on it anyway. She'd cut her hair short once before, and it had only been worse; forever standing up like feathers and too short to put in a ponytail. So she settled for either bribing or threatening her hair aloud to keep her from repeating the mistake of taking scissors to it. She twisted it up, hard enough to make her wince slightly, and as quickly as she could, stuck the bejeweled clamp into the sloppy knot. Half of it fell out, but luckily for Julia's sanity, it fell in such a way that looked intentional and not disastrous. She decided it was fine as it was, and if it didn't look perfect, it at least looked convincingly stylish.<p>

Then, with the hair complete, Julia was finally ready. She felt like it had taken hours, though a glance at the clock told her it had actually only been forty-five minutes. Not bad considering the war with her hair. She had time for one more once-over in the mirror before a knock sounded on her door. Julia trotted over to open it, and was greeted by a single, bright yellow tulip with a red ribbon around the stem, held out in a rather shy fashion by Kurt, looking ever so debonair in a charcoal suit and a tie that very nearly matched his indigo fur.

"I vasn't sure vhether to bring flowvers or not, so I figured I vould go half-vay to be safe."

Julia smiled warmly, accepting the pretty little bloom. "I said you didn't have to, but it's still very sweet. Thank you."

"You look..." He paused, and Julia raised an eyebrow, wondering if maybe her hair didn't look as decent as she thought, but Kurt only grinned at her in a somewhat coy fashion. "_Ich bedaure_, I seem to be rendered speechless by your beauty."

She laughed, finding herself blushing slightly despite the quip behind the words. "Flatterer. You look very dashing yourself. Though...hang on, the tie is just a little crooked." She set the tulip down on her dresser, before lightly straightening his tie, careful not to choke Kurt or anything of the sort.

"Ah, _danke_. You vould be surprised how difficult it is to tie vone of these vith only three fingers."

"I can barely manage, and I've got five." She shrugged, picking up the flower again and placing it in the water glass from her bathroom. She'd have to get another one from the kitchen later, but at the moment, she was more interested in preserving the tulip.

"Vhy vould you need to know how to tie a tie in the first place?" Kurt questioned.

"I dunno. I just thought it would be a useful thing to learn." Julia shrugged again, placing the make-shift vase and tulip on her night-table. "Never know when I'm going to need random information like that. Ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." He made a show of bowing her out of the room, the two of them strolling down the hallway arm in arm.

At the top of the stairs, the faint sounds of conversation could be heard, accompanied by the lively sounds of Marcy's orchestra, playing an up-beat little tune. Julia noticed then that Kurt had slowed down fairly obviously, and she could feel tension in his arm where hers was looped through it.

"Kurt? Are you okay?" She asked, turning to look at him, Kurt's eyes fixed down the stairs, where part of the party was visible from their station. "Nervous?"

"Ja. A little. It's just that...dere vill be a lot of parents here tonight. A lot of..." He trailed off, searching for a word, but it was fairly obvious what he meant.

"A lot of normal people," She filled in for him.

"Ja. Normal. I've gotten fairly used to the reactions I get, but I don't vant to ruin Marcy's concert."

"Would you feel better if I went this way?" Julia questioned, shifting to her other form with barely a thought and a blink of her eyes. She had long-since learned how to pick and choose energy patterns, so absorption of chemical or electrical energy from humans hadn't been a problem in awhile. Though her hair abruptly fell out of its twist again, which she did her best to ignore; even though she was tempted to scream. Kurt only smiled and placed his hand over hers lightly.

"You vould look beautiful eider vay, Jyulia, but it vill not change the vay I look to people."

"Well, most of them are either here because they want to help mutants, or their children are mutants themselves. They'll have to get used to this kind of thing sooner or later. We might as well give them a jump start." She gave his arm a little encouraging tug, and though he still resisted her momentarily, they soon continued down the stairs, and joined the other X-Men wandering the party, mingling with the humans present.

* * *

><p>His tension never seemed to go away. Half an hour had passed, Julia had been forced to let her body shift back, and people had started slowly approaching the pair -figured they were less threatening when at least one of them looked human- but Kurt still seemed worried that a brick could come flying at his head at any moment.<p>

They very rarely talked to him, Julia noticed. Whenever someone asked them questions about the X-Men, or the institute, or something of the sort, they always directed it to her, regarding Kurt with the same mistrusting caution as he did them. It almost made it worse that they bothered trying to hide their discrimination rather than just openly displaying it. It was fine if you were a mutant, as long as you could pretend like you weren't; never mind some of the people here had saved the city, and the state, and the country, or the whole planet. Or the universe in Jean's case. Still, it wasn't to say they were all like that. Some of them seemed genuinely interested in the Professor's cause, and some even seemed to be fans of the X-Men. One brave fellow, a surgeon friend of Dr. McCoy's if Julia remembered correctly, even asked about Kurt's tail and whether it was a part of his spine. Kind of an odd question, but it was better than the odd glances from the opposite wall most people were sticking with.

"Still doing okay?" She asked, noticing that Kurt actually let out a relieved sigh when most people had left the mingling to join the slow dance that had started several songs ago. It seemed Marcy had now shifted to a more soothing theme, playing soft, lilting tunes that were easy to dance to. Julia was surprised at how many people were actually dancing, but the music really helped set the mood, which had probably been the idea.

"Ja. I'm fine." He gave her a winning smile which fell rather short of believable.

"You want to leave?"

"No, Jyulia. It's alright."

She didn't argue further, knowing no matter what she said he would try to stick it out, though she couldn't help but think it must have been starting to wear down on him by now.

"Besides," He continued after a significant pause, "-ve haven't danced yet." Before she could offer any sort of response to that at all, Kurt had taken a hold of her hand and they were off towards the floor, joining in, sort of, in a little corner near Marcy and the students playing. Marcy was on the piano, the students evidently not needing any real direction, getting ready for the next song. It struck her suddenly that Hank and Marcy hadn't spent any time together at this dance, seeing as Marcy had been playing or conducting; it was really sweet of Hank to come as her date anyway, even though he didn't get to dance with her or anything. But she was then distracted by the fact that Kurt seemed serious.

"Kurt, I can't dance," Julia hissed, though she seemed to be ignored. She really could not dance worth a crap. She knew the high school version of slow dancing, where you just put your arms around each other and stepped in circles, though she'd managed to be pretty clumsy even with that, and there wasn't a doubt in her mind that Kurt was the kind of guy who knew three different versions of the waltz.

"Dere is nothing to it. I promise. Give me your hands."

"But all I know how to do is go in a circle." When she didn't freely offer up her hands, Kurt simply reached over and took them, setting one on his shoulder and folding his hand over her other.

"Then all ve'll do is go in circles." He set his hand at her waist, gently nudging her until Julia started to follow his steps as best she could.

"I'll still probably manage to step on your toes."

"You're not as clumsy as you seem to dhink you are," Kurt said, steering her with a gentle push every once in awhile with the hand on her waist. She was surprised to see however that she was actually managing fairly well on her own. "There. Dis isn't so bad, is it?" Kurt questioned, though the look on his face was definitely a little sly.

"No. I guess it's not," Julia agreed in a bit of a grudging fashion. "I suppose it would be easier after the awkward teenager phase." Of course, it helped that Kurt knew what he was doing and was leading her movements, however subtly he may be doing it. "Actually...this is really nice..." She said softly.

"You say dhat like you never vent to prom."

"I didn't." Julia shrugged. "Prom was for normal kids and I wasn't normal. I spent a lot of time hiding after my powers started showing up."

"Vhy?"

"I...I guess I was just scared a lot of the time."

"Ja. That tends to happen to us mutants." His hand squeezed hers gently. "I didn't go to prom eider. But I vas not even in school."

"You didn't go to school at all?"

"Nein. Germany vas not any better when it came to treating mutants fairly. Besides, I vas in the circus, I didn't have time for a formal education." The smile he added on at the end didn't quite cover the dismal tone of his voice. "I learned from books."

"Well, schools aren't all they're cracked up to be. From what I understand, they're miserable even when you aren't a mutant. You're a smart guy Kurt, and you seem to have done just fine, even without all the cliques and the bad lunches and the SATs."

"I..._danke_. You know I'm...I'm glad I met you Jyulia. The vay you look at things...I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad too."

There wasn't much more to be said after that. They seemed to have arrived at an understanding, and though Julia still had questions she wished to ask, she knew this wasn't the time or place. Neither of them chose to make an observation of the fact that they had moved closer together, that Julia's head had started to incline to rest against his shoulder, or that Kurt's hand had slipped across her back, bringing her closer and his arm holding her tight.

She was glad to be here. She was glad to be right where she was.

And then the song ended, and whatever spell had fallen, making them forget the entire surrounding party, seemed to break. At least, Julia was suddenly aware of the rest of the room.

"The song's over," She remarked quietly, perhaps even a little bit forlornly. Marcy and the orchestra had picked up a peppier tune again, which made it all the more strange Kurt didn't seem to notice the change in the atmosphere.

"I know." He held her for only a moment longer, then released her and took a small step away, seeming at a loss for anything to say. Luckily, they were saved from any horribly awkward conversations by Hank calling them over to a small group that had gathered around him, and the ending of their evening became a repeat of the beginning.

However, Julia thought she may finally be beginning to understand what Hank had meant when he said the rumors about her and Kurt were believable.

* * *

><p>"That's the last of them." Scott announced, the last car pulling out of the drive, which marked the concert as being officially over. "So, Professor, how did we do?"<p>

"Firstly, I'd like to congratulate Marcy and the orchestra. The entire concert was beautiful." In agreement, their small group, still decked out in evening wear, gave a little round of applause, Marcy blushing vibrantly under the attention, which only multiplied when Hank presented her with a large, impressive flower arrangement, which everyone, including the orchestra students, had pitched in for. "As to the financial part of the evening, we've had quite a few promises for donations."

"What about the parents?" Julia piped up.

"That's difficult to say. Most seemed a bit more encouraged while they were leaving, but I'm afraid only time will tell."

She nodded, content that, at the very least, it hadn't been a total bust.

"Now then," The Professor continued, "-it's late, and I'm sure most of this mess will still be here in the morning. Why don't you all head to bed?"

In a steady stream of 'good nights', the X-Men and students slowly disbursed to their various parts of the mansion. Kurt walked Julia back to the guest wing -which she was still staying in simply because moving seemed tedious now that all her things were there- though there was a kind of tension between them that Julia couldn't quite name. The little jokes and quips had started drifting between them again, but they hadn't really talked. Not since the dance.

"Kurt...uhm...there's something I want to ask you. I wasn't really sure how to bring this up tactfully but..." She glanced towards him to find him watching her with an almost guarded expression. As though he was bracing himself to hear something cruel or uncalled for. "When you called me 'liebling'...you were calling me 'darling', right?" By the sheepish look that came to his face instantly, she would guess that Google Translate hadn't lied to her. "I was curious, so I looked it up."

"_Ich bedaure_, I...it slipped out. I'm sorry if you-"

"I didn't mind." She shook her head. "I just wasn't sure what to make of it."

"It vas...just a term of endearment, dat's all." His nervous habit kicking in again, Kurt fiddled with his tail to make the thrashing less obvious. He wouldn't look at her. "Jyulia, I..."

"Kurt...?"

"May I kiss you?" The words tumbled out in a way that said he hadn't intended to blurt such a thing.

"Kiss me?"

"Ja. I...I understand if you don't-"

"Kurt."

He met her eyes at the sharp tone of her voice. "Vhat?"

"You're an idiot." She grabbed the tie she had made so straight earlier that evening, and gave it one good tug to get him close enough for her lips to touch his.

* * *

><p>Her lips were soft. So, so soft. Like silk. She tasted like peaches. That was all the further Kurt's brain could process; anything more than that got lost in the maelstrom. He had never thought her lips would be so satiny. That said, Kurt had never really spent too much time contemplating mouths until he met Julia. But it was more than that; he thought about her eyes, and her hair, and her hands, and the way she laughed. He seemed to have developed quite a fascination with her; but at the moment, that was in the back of his mind.<p>

She stepped away, a peculiar look in her eyes, and he realized suddenly that he hadn't moved the entire time she had been kissing him. He hadn't reacted in the slightest, he wasn't even sure he had been breathing or blinking.

"Did I just make a really stupid mistake?" She questioned, looking at him earnestly.

"Nein! Of course not. I just...I vas...I didn't know how to react."

"Not looking like you've been lobotomized would be a start."

Unable to help himself, Kurt laughed. This was one of the reasons he liked Julia; he had always striven to make people laugh, if only as a way to defuse tension about the way he looked, but Julia had never needed that. She made him laugh instead.

"Perhaps ve could...try again?"

"Do you really think I'm going to argue?"

* * *

><p>She didn't have to drag Kurt this time. In fact, she didn't have to do much work at all. Her hand was still clasped around the tie lightly, but she felt what could only be his tail hooking around her waist and pulling her forward the step she had backed up. The kiss this time was deeper. Not necessarily more meaningful, just...more involved on his part. Her arms slid around his neck, feeling as natural as if they had known each other their entire lives. Kissing him felt that way too...natural. She had always been kind of the cautious sort when it came to the opposite sex, but she just didn't feel that way with Kurt, she could trust him, and as far as she could tell at the moment, this was nothing more than a fairly innocent kiss of affection. So she let her mind go and immersed herself in focusing entirely on what was happening between them for the time being.<p>

It didn't last long. She came hurtling back to reality when she felt a pinch of her lower lip, and tasted blood immediately after. It took her only a moment to realize what had happened; Kurt had bitten her. Not hard, and most likely not intentionally, but his pointed canine had definitely drawn blood. Before she could fully process the fact, Kurt tore away from her, ending up on the other side of the hallway and looking absolutely horrified.

"I...I'm sorry! I didn't mean-"

"Kurt-" He vanished from the hallway in the signature puff of brimstone smoke and 'bamf' before she had even taken a step toward him. "Kurt! Kurt wait! It's okay!" But wherever he had teleported off too, he was either ignoring her or was out of earshot. She knew she should probably go find him, try to reassure him, but she wasn't sure she would be able to get him to sit still long enough to hear her out. Not after _that_ reaction. "It didn't even actually hurt..." She mumbled aloud, just in case he was only at the end of the hall. "Will you please come back?"

For all intents and purposes however, it seemed she was talking to an empty hallway. Julia leaned her shoulder on the wall, rubbing at her lower lip gingerly. It was tender, but it seemed like it had already stopped bleeding. He obviously hadn't hurt her, so why had he run away like that?

All things considered, she would probably have to wait until tomorrow to get any answers. She had no idea where he had got to, and she didn't really feel like waking everyone up in order to search for him. Besides, if Kurt really wanted to hide from her, he could do so quite successfully. Not only could he be a couple miles away by now, he turned nearly invisible in shadows, and seeing as it was nighttime, that meant he could literally be anywhere.

Still, she didn't know if she could rest easy knowing how upset he had been when he left. She took several steps toward the end of the hall, undecided, before heaving a sigh and turning back to the door to her room. She would talk to him in the morning, after she thought about what to say.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: So, I don't speak German, and I have to use Google Translate to figure a lot of stuff out, but I was recently informed that 'Ich bedaure' is sorry, rather than 'traurig'. Thank you to TheBumpyGoose for informing me of this. :)<em>


	7. Chapter 7

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Hey all, another week where you get two chapters. Why? Because I realize last chapter dropped off in a bit of an odd place (and I didn't show what happened to Kurt, which I think is important), so I wanted to get another one up, and here is. You all know the drill I'm assuming. :)_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

He wasn't entirely sure where he had ended up, nor did he much care. He was far too busy being embarrassed, and angry, and stunned at how utterly wrong that little attempt at romance had gone in the space of a few seconds.

"Stupid," Kurt muttered aloud, though he was unsure what exactly it was he was referring to. "Stupid, stupid, stupid..."

"Kurt?" The light in the room flicked on, nearly blinding him. In his haste to get away, Kurt had teleported to the first place to come to mind, which he now realized for some odd reason had been Marcy's music room. The smallish room was lined with audio panels and chairs, musical instruments and their cases, and most of the chairs were scattered with sheet music. In the center of it all was Marcy's Piano, the Bösendorfer Marcy had pined and pined for and, as her eighteenth birthday gift, the Professor had decided to purchase for her.

"Oh. Sorry Marcy. I vas...I'm hiding." He confessed, moving away from the corner he had been hunkered down in, rather like a child.

Concern flashed across Marcy's mismatched eyes, and she set the sheet music she had been carrying back from the main hall on the piano. "Did you fight with Julia?"

"No I- vhy vould that be your first assumption?"

"I guess...well, you guys have just been really chummy lately, so I just kind of figured that was most likely what you would be upset about." Marcy shrugged, sitting on the piano bench. She patted the spot next to her and Kurt sat obediently. "You do like her though, don't you?"

Kurt's tail, seemingly of it own volition, wrapped around the leg of the bench, hiding the nervous twitch. "Ja."

Marcy smiled kindly. "Like, romantic kind of like?"

"I don't know." Kurt shrugged, folding his hands.

"Aw, Kurt, come on. You can tell me. I promise I won't tell. I mean, you two seemed really, really into dancing earlier..."

"But I really don't know Marcy. I just...I like her."

"Alright, well, I'll bother you about that later." Marcy smiled and bumped his arm with her skinny elbow. "So then, what happened? Why're you hiding?"

"I...I uh...I bit Jyulia,"Kurt answered honestly. He'd never been much of a liar, and Marcy had known him long enough that she could probably have seen through a lie anyway. Marcy blinked, staying silent for a moment.

"Why? Were you guys getting kinky?"

"No! It vas an accident." His tail was thrashing around now, though he was trying very hard not to hit Marcy, and Kurt felt his face grow warm.

"How do you bite somebody on accident?"

"Ve vere kissing and-"

"Wait, wait. You kissed her?" Marcy interrupted, with a mischievous little sparkle in her eyes. "That's exciting!"

"Ja. It vas nice, but...but I vasn't paying attention und...she vas _bleeding_ Marcy."

"I see..." Marcy nodded slowly. "Was she upset?"

"I don't know." Kurt shook his head, looking at his folded hands more than his friend. "I panicked and I left, dhen I ended up here. I don't know...vhat Jyulia vas saying."

"Well, don't you think maybe you should try talking to her about how she feels about it, rather than running away? You might have hurt her feelings Kurt."

"Hurt her feelings? Marcy, she vas bleeding!"

"Hey, it's not your fault you ended up with fangs. And I don't think Julia is exactly going to hold that against you Kurt."

"I should have been paying attention to vhat I vas doing..." Kurt grumbled, feeling like he ought to be banging his head on the wall. "Vhat if she hates me?" His voice had suddenly gained a desperate note, even in his own ears.

"Kurt, now you're just being ridiculous. I seriously, seriously doubt Julia was even angry at you, let alone decided to hate you just because you accidentally nipped her." Marcy's voice, in turn, had a gained a tone which was uncannily similar to a scolding mother. "I'm sure she's fine and you're just overreacting."

Kurt, mulling this over, was silent. He heard Marcy sigh at his side, before she turned to face the piano, lifting the board to play a few notes.

"Just go talk to her Kurt."

"Right now?"

"Probably. Because I know you, you'll stay up and dwell on it until you do. And she'll probably be up half the night worried about where you went anyway."

For a few more seconds, Kurt was silent again, realizing Marcy was right. He would probably spend the remaining night pacing around the ceiling of his room, despairing over what Julia could be thinking of him. She was probably also accurate about what Julia would be doing.

"I guess...I vill try."

"Okay. Good." Marcy nodded encouragingly. "Go on, before she gets tired of waiting."

* * *

><p>Back in her room, Julia was in her pajamas and curled up in bed, but unable to sleep. She had just been thinking to get up and get a book when she was interrupted by a knock at her door.<p>

"Yeah?" She called towards the hallway.

"Uhm...Jyulia? Can ve...talk maybe?"

_Kurt? _Honestly, she was surprised he was trying to talk to her at all, let alone so soon. Either way, she jogged to the door and pulled it open, finding him half-turned as though he had decided he was better off leaving. "Kurt, hang on, don't take off again." He pivoted to look at her, but seemed to be more comfortable watching his tail swish around by his feet.

"I vanted to apologize about vhat I did-"

"Don't. It's okay. It bled for like two seconds, and my lip's probably not even going to swell up tomorrow, it's fine, see?" She poked at her lower lip to make note of the fact, though she still winced slightly due to the lingering tenderness.

"But I didn't mean to. It vas an accident."

"I know, it's alright. It didn't hurt that bad." Julia crossed her arms to prevent herself from twisting her hair, not sure how to convince him that she wasn't really bothered by the whole issue. "For what it's worth, it was still nice. Until, you know, you disappeared on me."

"I thought dat you might be angry vith me..." Kurt said quietly.

"For what? Kissing me? Not in the slightest."

"Ja but...the fangs have alvays been an issue, among...vell, other dings..."

"Don't do that." Julia's words came out sharper than she had intended.

"Do vhat?" He finally met her eyes, looking surprised.

"Make this about your appearance, because it's not. Unless...do you really think that's the kind of person I am? That I'm going to get angry and start calling you a demon just because of an accident?"

"Nein! No, of course not Jyulia. Not you." Kurt shook his head in an almost violent fashion. "But it vouldn't be the first time dat's happened."

"But not with me. I wasn't even angry Kurt, you're the one that freaked out."

"I know...I'm sorry about dat too."

"Don't be." Julia said firmly. "I'm not hurt, and I'm not upset." For all her arguments though, Kurt still seemed more interested in his feet. "Listen, I don't really know how you feel about all this, but I think I understand a little bit, and it doesn't have to mean anything. If it makes you uncomfortable we can just keep being friends, I'm okay with that."

At her words, Kurt visibly relaxed, his shoulders drooping slightly, though he still seemed to be avoiding her gaze. "It didn't make me uncomfortable...you just...I vas overvhelmed." He finally looked up, his mouth quirking up in a tiny, sweet smile. Julia thought she might have felt her heart melt a little. She could keep being friends with him, certainly easily, but a little part of her was probably going to persist in feeling stronger affection for him. But for now, she'd keep that to herself. "Enough to forget I have such sharp teeth apparently."

"I'll take that as a compliment." She smiled, setting a hand on his arm, leaning forward to give him a peck of a kiss on the cheek. "Anyway, now that we're both on same page, it's late and I'm tired, so I think I'm going to bed. Okay?"

"Ja...alright Jyulia. _Gute nacht._"

"_Gute nacht_, darling," She mimicked, adding a tiny bit of emphasis to the 'darling', and getting a sheepish smile out of Kurt. She smiled back and waved, heading off to bed, hearing the 'bamf' that indicated Kurt was hopefully doing the same.

* * *

><p>After the little hiccup of the dance and the kiss, on the surface it looked as if nothing had changed between them. Though, they did seem to be spending more time together than they had before, and Kurt seemed to have made a habit of referring to her as <em>liebling<em>. They had become something like inseparable best friends; even on missions they stuck pretty close together, which was just as well, as they were often sent ahead as the 'stealth unit', due to their mutual abilities to blend into the shadows. Plus, Julia made an efficient shield if they were noticed and started getting shot at.

The last several days aside, it was one of their few blessed days off, and Kurt and Julia had taken up a spot on top of the mini-spire of the mansion, taking in a sunset and another bag of theater popcorn Julia had brought home, discussing the movie she, Marcy, and Ororo had gone to see, and just generally avoiding the dinner rush.

_Julia? I was wondering if we might borrow you for a moment, Hank has something you might be interested in. _The Professor's mental-voice, which always seemed just a tad staticky to Julia thanks to the unique format of her brain, poked in at a break in the conversation.

_ Interested in? Why? _

_It's something we've been working on to help make your plasma abilities more applicable. _

_ Alright,that does sound intriguing. Where's Hank?_

_ I believe he said the Danger Room would be the best place to test it. _

Mentioning the fact that Hank wanted to test whatever it was in the Danger Room made Julia a little more concerned than interested, but still, she would be hard pressed to say she wasn't a little curious.

"Jyulia? Vhat is vrong?" Kurt's tail tapped her shoulder, apparently concerned that she had been spacing out in order to talk to the Professor.

"Oh, sorry Kurt. I was talking to the Professor. I thought you could hear him too." She waved his concern off with a smile.

"Vhat did he need?"

"I guess Hank has got something I need to have a look at. Would you mind taking me to the Danger Room real quick?"

"Not a problem." His tail looped around his back again, seeing as Kurt's hands were still occupied with popcorn at the moment, and hooked around her waist lightly; two seconds later they were sitting cross-legged on the cyber-tiles of the Danger Room floor rather than the roof, with a surprised-looking Hank nearby.

"Ah, I didn't realize you would be here so soon, I haven't finished unpacking it yet," Hank observed, tilting a generic looking delivery box in their direction.

"Yeah, Kurt's a pretty convenient mode of transportation." Julia smiled, getting to her feet and wandering in Hank's direction; Kurt followed, his curiosity evidently piqued. "So what's this thing that's so terribly interesting?"

"Well, it's a little something Reed Richards and I have been collaborating on for the last couple of weeks to deal with your clothing problem." Hank sliced the tape off the box with a claw, removing what looked like a wad of blue and yellow cloth and a pair of low-top boots. "It's a costume we designed using some of Reed's 'Unstable-Molecule' technology. As you know, most our costumes and the suits of the Fantastic Four are made of this same fabric. It's constructed of molecules which freely mimic any mutant or meta energies they make contact with, but for some reason the original composition didn't react the way we hoped it would to your unique energy. Therefore, we've been working on tweaking it to match the wavelength you generate, and now, I think it should be able to imitate you more fully, and thus break into plasma and reform as easily as you do."

"Uhm, I hate to be the wet blanket and all, but...what happens if it doesn't work the way you think it will?"

"Best case scenario, it disintegrates into charged particles or you pass through it and you'll end up...clothes-less again. Worst case scenario it...might fuse with you."

"Fuse vith her?" Kurt stole the indignant words right out of her mouth.

"On a molecular level of course. You might not even notice Julia."

"Uh...that sounds...scary actually Hank." Julia informed, picking up the the main garment, which appeared to be a freaking swimsuit. It was small, but felt rather stretchy. And it also felt strange, more like liquid than actual fabric. "Also, it looks like Emma Frost was the one to design these."

"Admittedly, Johnny Storm may have had a hand in it..." Hank said, scratching his hair slightly. "Reed thought you would appreciate a more fashionable design...I suppose asking Susan may have been the better bet."

"Maybe, but on the other hand, if it does end up fusing to me, the less there is the better," Julia reasoned, but was relieved to see a pair of pants were also in the box, even if they were somewhat unnecessary. She hadn't been all that keen in running around in a teeny-tiny singlet. The pants still looked pretty small, but seemed as stretchy as the top.

"Vait, don't you dhink that ve should test it or something first?" Kurt said, looking quite apprehensive about the whole thing.

"Well, yes, that would be preferred," Hank agreed, "-but unfortunately we can't replicate Julia's negative energy form well enough to know for certain. However, this is the same substance that can turn invisible, survive The Human Torch's fire, and stretch with Reed's abilities; all without showing any signs of warping or damage. There's no reason to think that it won't work the same with Julia, especially with our adjustments. Besides, if you continue to make progress with your transformations," He added in her direction, "-we believe that you should eventually be able to convert your clothes. Once you learn to charge its particles the same as your own."

"Yeah, but, that might take a long, long time. It took me years to change my whole body. And I think the breakdowns could be really useful in a fight if I don't have to worry about being naked. I mean, I guess I _could _just go around naked and all, but I think that would make it hard to concentrate."

"Not just for you," Kurt muttered, getting chuckles out of the other two.

"And, after all, if it does try to fuse, I can probably just charge myself again and phase out of it. Don't worry Kurt, I think it will work fine." She patted his arm reassuringly.

"I vould just feel better vithout you having to vear it first." He shrugged, giving the outfit, as it were, a scathing look.

"Well, I'd rather give it a shot than not." Julia shrugged, carrying the clothing over to the locker room across the hall from the Danger Room's main doors. "Be back in sec."

Stepping into the women's side, Julia strode over to the locker she had been assigned after joining the team, though she figured there was no reason to actually put her clothes in it, as this would likely be a short venture. The suit, though stretchy and easy to get on, clung to her like a second skin, the legs high-cut, and yellow straps along the top came together, forming an obvious 'X' motif, crossing again in the back to ensure there would never be a wardrobe malfunction. It was so comfortable it felt almost like wearing nothing at all. The pants had the same sort of fit, tight and nearly imperceptible on her skin, like it was made out of air or something, the waistband falling well below the suits high-cut legs, revealing a rounded triangle of skin at each hip. She glanced at herself in the mirror near the showers, and the fact it didn't leave much to the imagination aside, it didn't look half-bad. It actually had a nice sort of uniform feel to it.

_Let's hope it works as good as it feels. _She decided, walking back into the Danger Room, not bothering with the boots. Less stuff for her to pick up later, just in case she slipped right through this fabric as well. Hank was setting up what seemed to be a camera near where the three of them had been standing, and Kurt had gone back to his popcorn, but seemed content to hang around and look in on the test, perched on one of the machines that were usually pretending to kill them.

"Well, it fits really, really well. Anyone want to explain how or where Mr. Fantastic got my exact measurements?" Both her blue companions glanced up at her, Kurt giving a somewhat-sarcastic, somewhat-serious wolf whistle. She made a face at him, but he just smiled innocuously back at her.

"Actually it's self-adjusting. We just ball-parked your size," Hank informed, giving a nod of approval as to how it looked.

"Oh. Awesome. Clothing that can think for itself...this isn't going to burrow into my brain or anything, is it?"

Hank laughed, pressing a button on the camera and the lights on the side flashed to life. "I hardly think so. It only mimics, it doesn't think. I dare say you've seen too many sci-fi films my dear Julia."

"Hey, you'll be thanking me when the Robot Apocalypse comes around," Julia said, pointing a warning finger at Hank.

"Robots?" Kurt scoffed. "I definitely dhink aliens vill take over de world first, it's almost happened already."

"So has the robot thing, remember Ultron? My point is you've got to be prepared for that kind of thing."

"And I think a nuclear holocaust will be the most likely culprit of the world ending, but let's ignore the potential fate of our planet for the time being, shall we?"

"Oh, alright, if you insist Hank." Julia shrugged her shoulders, but with a hint of a smile. They all knew 'the end of the world debate' would kick up again sooner or later. "So then, what do I do? Just zap around a couple of times and see how it goes?"

"Essentially, yes. Though I would ask you to stay within range of the scanner here so we can monitor how well it works, and whether there are any unseen complications."

"Okey doke. And, you know, I trust you both and all, but if I do end up naked in the middle of the floor, would you please humor me and keep your backs turned?"

"Indeed." Hank nodded in response. Kurt didn't answer, but made a motion that indicated crossing his heart.

"Alright, well, let's see if Mr. Fantastic really knows his stuff." Julia closed her eyes briefly, for the simple fact that made it easier to concentrate on changing, at least, considering the new situation. Her molecules rippled, shifting into the odd, dark energy, and then Julia took a breath, made a quick wish that she came out of this with her skin intact, and took a step, charging her solid state mid-step, and displacing herself several feet forward.

When she re-shaped into a solid, she didn't feel any different. As far as she could tell, her skin and the clothes were still separate; and when she glanced down at her legs, she saw that she was also still covered. _Well, two points for science, _She thought, _-now let's see if we can go three for three. If it doesn't fuse to my normal-state skin, I'd call it a success. _Another ripple and she was back to her normal form, and she still felt like nothing was wrong. Just to be sure, she grabbed the front of the suit and pulled. It stretched away from her easily, and she looked up at Hank with a grin. "Heh, I think it works."

"_Wunderbar_." Kurt commented with a wide grin, though his hands were raised in a way that said he had been prepared to cover his eyes for her sake.

"Wonderful," Hank echoed, seeming very pleased indeed. "Not only that, but the unstable molecules should prove themselves more or less indestructible as well, so we shouldn't have to worry about replacing it anytime soon."

"Thank you so much Hank, really, this is super neat." She shifted and charged again, moving another fifteen feet to her left in the blink an eye, then again to appear at Kurt's side. "Do you have any idea how much easier this is going to make it to sneak around when we're on missions?"

"Very much I imagine." Kurt nodded, craning his neck to watch her while she faded out and moved back over to Hank again, giggling at the sheer enjoyment of being able to use her abilities to their full-extent. Julia made several more laps around the Danger Room, experimenting with only going half-way back to her solid state, or reforming only parts of her body, among other things, before finally coming to a halt in the center of the room, back in her natural state, panting slightly. She had never realized how much energy it really took to move that way, of course, she had never done so many consecutive breakdowns either.

"Phew...I guess I'm going to have to work on that a little more," She said, resting her hands on her knees for a minute, despite the fact that her legs felt like they were about to give way. Why were her legs always the first thing to go out when she used that power?

"I imagine you're still getting used to it." Hank informed, shutting down the camera, apparently having collected enough data for his liking. "It was after all an abruptly occurring second mutation. I'm still not entirely sure whether you came into it naturally due to the stress of the situation or because of the radiation you absorbed. Either way, I recommend you don't push yourself, even if you are able to move more freely now, until we gather a better understanding of your limits."

"Don't have to tell me twice. I'm not a fan of being this tired." Julia shook her head, shoving her wayward hair off her face. "Still, the outfit is awesome. I need to tell Dr. Richards thank you too, can I write to him or something?"

"No need, I think he had much fun trying to adapt the suit to your abilities. But I will pass your word onto him at the next convention we attend together."

"Thanks again Hank. This is really cool. One last question: it doesn't happen to be 'dry-clean only' does it? Because I hate paying for that."


	8. Chapter 8

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: So, here's more-or-less the scoop: It's very nearly finals week, and I have three rather large-sized papers due in two weeks, meaning you most likely won't be seeing a chapter of The Gaze and the Glance for a week, possibly two. I will not have sufficient time to edit the chapters and still manage to sleep. :) So, I decided to post this one this week. It's probably my most favorite chapter in the story so far. Why, I don't know. It just is. It's very actiony. Anyway, enjoy. Oh, and I posted a new pic of Julia in my profile. _

_P.S Italics means people are speaking mentally. Or thinking...I assume you can guess which from context._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

Soon after this, it was back to business as usual for the X-Men. Currently, a smaller team, consisting of Cyclops, Phoenix, Wolverine, Nightcrawler, and Eclipse, were at the moment faced with a rather tricky situation in a small Texas town.

Small towns, as they often were, were a little behind the times as far as human-mutant relations, especially in the ones small enough where federal law couldn't be bothered to interfere. This particular town had made a policy of 'rounding up' any mutants who happened to stray by or display their powers. Of course, when Professor X sent them off to rescue said mutants, he hadn't mentioned the fact that the mutants had stoked up a rebellion amongst themselves. When the X-Men had arrived, half the town had already become a war-zone. Gun fire was heard every few seconds, and flashes of various types of mutant powers echoed each time.

"I'd say this has really escalated in the last couple hours." Cyclops observed unnecessarily. "I'm thinking we would have been smarter to bring a bigger team."

"Serves 'em right, if ya ask me." Wolverine grunted, his expression hidden behind his mask, though it was fairly obvious he was less than happy with the situation their mutant brethren had been facing.

"Unfortunately, that's not the issue. We have to settle this before any more people die." Phoenix said firmly. Wolverine didn't respond, but no one had expected him too; he never argued with her.

"And vhat are ve supposed to do to make that happen?" Nightcrawler had taken up a perch on a lamp-post, acting as their look-out towards the chaos, which seemed to be momentarily seated in the downtown area.

"I would suggest trying to reason with them, but I'd say we're well beyond that." Cyclops crossed his arms, visor turned to watch another bright flare of some sort of energy-based mutant power. "So we're going to have to try and get to the ring-leaders. If we talk some sense into them, or remove them altogether if we have too, it should be easier to settle this down. Nightcrawler, Eclipse, you guys are the sneaky ones, try to go ahead and see if you can figure out who's the brains of the operation."

"Sure." Eclipse nodded. Sometimes she felt silly referring to her friends by their codenames, and likewise when they referred to her as 'Eclipse', but, like all superheroes, it was a matter of them protecting their identities just in case anyone felt like eavesdropping; if for no other reason than to keep the government from realizing they were all teachers or residents of a certain school in Salem Center, New York. Especially if it was someone like a certain mutant-hating senator, or Mr. Manipulation AKA Nick Fury.

"Phoenix will keep you two linked up with us, so if you run into any trouble, just think real hard." Though not the best comedian, Cyclops' attempt at a joke was evident enough.

"I doubt ve vill. That's vhy ve do the sneaking," Nightcrawler commented, dropping cat-like back to the ground. "Ve'll be back vhen ve know something."

"Good luck."

Eclipse gave their fearless leader a mock-salute with one hand, looping the other over Nightcrawler's shoulders, and in the next second they were gone. While she had her own method of instant-transportation, the simple fact of the matter was, Nightcrawler had a much longer range than she did, and he could move more than himself. Her strengths were in moving around or through tight spaces, somewhere with a lot of obstacles, which was something Nightcrawler was hesitant to do, as he needed fairly open space and an idea of where he was going in order to teleport safely; lest he re-appear impaled on something or inside a wall. In other words, she was one who did the indoor sneaking, and he was the one who did the outdoor. It made them effective as a two-person unit.

_Can you guys both hear me? _Phoenix'smental voice echoed in her mind, Eclipse and Nightcrawler having appeared near the prison, which seemed to be where most of this had started. Understandable, seeing as most of the mutants had been locked up here for no reason for who knew how long.

_ Loud and clear. _

_ Ja. _Eclipse glanced at her companion, having not realized she would also be connected with him. She noted that Nightcrawler's German inflection was significantly more obvious in his mental voice. He probably thought in his native tongue rather than English most of the time.

_Good. I've been scanning the area, but I haven't found any definitive signs of who would be the ring-leaders of either side. It seems like it's mostly just total chaos down there. There's a lot of fear._

_ It looks that way too. _Eclipse thought back, having learned, after awhile, how to channel her thoughts to make it easier for her telepathic companions to hear her, since it was difficult to access her mind to form the link the way they did with others. She peered around the wall they had appeared behind, seeing a couple of policemen hunkered behind a smoldering cruiser. Either they were out of ammo, or scared crap-less, and they were hiding from everyone passing by, not just the ones that were obviously mutant. Nightcrawler had already begun to scale the wall, hoping for a better vantage point she would guess. _I only see a couple of cops, but they're keeping out of it. I don't think they're taking sides, so that rules most of the police out for provoking this. I think this is a citizen's riot. _

_ Seems likely, _Phoenix responded. _Start with the prison. Maybe there are some mutants there who will be willing to talk. If they were hesitant to join the riot, they might be willing to help us settle it. _

_ Ve vill check in vhen ve know something. _

_ Alright. Be careful, people get unpredictable when they're in a mob. We're going to try and start calming things down on the outskirts if we can._

_ Will do. _Eclipse thought back to her, and glanced up at where Nightcrawler was stuck to the wall, about twenty feet up, his eyes scanning the surrounding area, before he dropped back next to her.

"Dey're not very organized," He informed her. "It doesn't seem like anyvone knows vhat they're trying to do. Dey're just fighting."

"Well, it is a mob." She shrugged, and glanced at the massive, concrete block which was the prison. A large gap of charred brick provided easy entry over to their left, and Eclipse started towards it. "Let's see if anybody didn't feel like jumping on the bandwagon."

Nightcrawler followed her lead, though he seemed a little less brazen about it. Still, once inside, they both stuck to the shadows near the wall. Well, Nightcrawler actually just moved along on the ceiling on all fours, evidently feeling that was more reasonable. Another of the things she had just gotten used to since joining the team. The lights were flickering, probably damaged during the escape, and nearly all the cells doors were warped, or melted, or otherwise damaged, obviously by non-human skills. So far, it seemed totally empty, not even a stray or unconscious guard lingering about.

"I don't know about this," Eclipse said, after they had covered the first two levels. "I don't think we'll find anyone here at this rate."

"Does seem empty." The blue mutant on the ceiling agreed, stopping his gecko-like movements. "Vhere do you vant to look next?"

"I don't know. Maybe there aren't any leaders or whatever. We've all more or less agreed that this is just a riot, maybe somebody started it, but I don't think anyone is organizing it now. There were a couple of cops outside who didn't seem to be involved at all, let's try asking them."

"Alright-"

Whatever he had been about to say, it never made it past the cry of agony that suddenly burst from him, nearly making Eclipse jump out of her skin. He dropped from the ceiling and plummeted to the floor, landing hard on his side, curling his entire body into as tight a ball as he could possibly manage, as though trying to ward off some kind of attack.

"Kurt! Kurt what's wrong?" In her panic, Eclipse was neglecting the use of his codename, but his identity was really the least of her concerns at the moment. She dropped to her knees at his side, trying to comfort him and totally unsure of what was even happening. Nightcrawler's hands were curled over his head, his eyes squeezed shut and another pained cry left his lips. "Kurt what's happening?" Realizing a moment later that she wouldn't get an answer from him given the state he was in, she went with her next best bet. As she attempted to find the channel keeping her connected to her telepathic teammate, Eclipse realized there was a wall of static in her ears she hadn't noticed before, though she wasn't sure what to make of it. She tried to drown it out, finally finding a familiar mental voice.

_Jean! Jean something's wrong! Kurt's down, and he's in a lot of pain, but I don't know what's happening! _

_ It's a telepathic assault. _Phoenix's mind responded to her own, though it was nearly drowned out by the static still buzzing around in her brain. _There's a telepath somewhere nearby that must have shielded their presence from me. You're immune, but I couldn't shield Kurt in time. I'm trying to block them out now, but it will probably be less painful for him if you find them and stop the attack directly. _

_ But I can't leave him here like this! And I don't even know where to look! _

_ The psi-trace I'm getting from the telapath is somewhere in the prison. Whoever it is must be there nearby. You've got to go! If I get into a full on psychic battle in Kurt's head, he could end up seriously hurt, especially considering I don't know what I'm dealing with. He'll be fine if you hurry. The telepath shouldn't be able to detect you if you're in your other form._

Eclipse grit her teeth, but knew Phoenix was right. As much as she hated abandoning Nightcrawler in the middle of the hallway, she had a better chance of ending the torment by finding the one responsible than sitting here and trying to empathize. "I'll be right back." She sat a hand over his briefly, though she couldn't tell if he was even still aware she was there. "Right back. Just keep it together for a few more minutes."

Eclipse got to her feet and stared hard at the ceiling. Since she could recognize energy patterns based on her absorption ability, she could sort of 'see' them as well, when she concentrated. If Phoenix was right in them not being very far away, she ought to be able see traces of the psionic energy they were using to attack Nightcrawler, and she could follow it directly to the source.

There. A tiny spark, at the end of the hall, probably the next floor up. That was her target.

Not bothering with trying to find the stairs, she walked into an open cell near her, shifted once into her dark-form, then again into her plasma form, phasing herself between and around the panes of plastic in the window, and entering the third floor window in the same fashion -all in the blink of an eye- once again very grateful for the new uniform that could travel with her.

* * *

><p>Kurt Wagner had always thought he had endured his fair share of pain, psychical or otherwise. Between his childhood, his circus career, and of course, his time as an X-Man, he'd taken quite a few beatings, be they verbal or with fists, and he figured he had developed a reasonably high threshold to pain. But nothing on God's green earth could possibly compare to the pain in his head right now. It was hell itself. He felt like all his senses were being overloaded at once, even when Julia had touched him gently, trying to comfort him, he felt more like she had slugged him in the face with brass knuckles. There was no limit to the pain a mind could bear, and thus, no limit to the pain that could be inflicted on it.<p>

_Getoutgetoutgetoutgetout... _

He had been silently chanting the same words on repeat as a mantra since the mental attack had started, but it didn't seem to be helping. Professor Xavier had taught them all ways to break a telepath's assault, but the few Kurt could remember in his agony didn't seem to be working. He tried to think of something, anything that wasn't the pain. He tried to wonder where Julia had gone. But none of these thoughts could get past the screaming behind his ears and eyes.

Suddenly, the pain lessened. It didn't disappear, his entire body still ached too much to even move, but he could form a coherent thought again.

"_Was ist_...?" His mouth had forgotten how to speak English, and he didn't care.

_Well. You're an interesting one. _He knew, instinctively, that he couldn't actually hear the voice, that it was in his head, literally. It echoed around his still-buzzing brain, and it made ice creep down his spine. _You've got all sorts of neat nightmares to play with. _

_Get out. _Kurt thought firmly, trying to mentally push the voice away from him.

_You weren't here before. Why...? Ah. You wanted to stop the riot. _

_ Get out. _Kurt thought again, even though he knew that this person, whoever they were, was likely already knee-deep in his psyche. He, or so he guessed from the mental voice projection, was pulling information out of his head without him even noticing. He had little hope of fighting him.

_The X-Men huh? Interesting. Let's see what else you've got for me, Mr. Nightcrawler. Ooh...who's the girl? Pretty, black hair, gray eyes. Only you don't think of them that way. You think they're much too pretty to be something as bland as 'gray'. You always call them silver. You spend quite a bit of time thinking about her, am I right? Because you think she likes you, even with the way you look._

Kurt felt his eyes widen as the voice informed him what it was digging into. Julia. The way he felt about her. Kurt picked up his mantra again, knowing that of all things, Julia would be the one the voice turned against him.

_Getoutgetoutgetoutgetout..._

_ "Demon!" _

The declaration rang in his head the way no other word could, a single word he hated more than any other in the world. And it had been Julia's voice that said it. He covered his ears with his hands, but it didn't stop, it didn't even help. She said it again, and again, piercing straight into the center of his already antagonized mind.

The voice laughed inside his brain, the sound grating on Kurt's nerves to the point where he thought he must surely be going mad.

_Is that all it takes? One word from her? What about this one?_

_ "Freak!" _Again, it was Julia that said it. No. Not Julia. Just the telepath making him think it was Julia. She would never-

_"Monster!" _

_ Get out! __A__ussteigen! _

The only sound that met him was the same laugh, raking over Kurt like the sound of nails on a chalkboard. He tried to focus, tried to raise his head so that he could find somewhere to teleport, hoping the dimensional jaunt would break the telepath's hold on him, but he should have known that he would pick up on Kurt's plan. Images started flashing behind his eyes, blinding him of anything but what the telepath was projecting at him. He saw Julia, her eyes wide with fear, backing away from something with a hand over her mouth. He knew what she must be afraid of. Him.

He saw the X-Men, with the same sort of reactions on their faces he had gotten so used to getting from strangers. Fear mixed with hate mixed with an unpleasant fascination that made it impossible to look away. From strangers it didn't hurt anymore, but from his friends, people who were his family, it was his worst nightmare. And Julia's expression hurt the most of all.

He couldn't muster the strength to start chanting again, he didn't think he even had the ability to plead with the voice to leave him alone.

* * *

><p>Eclipse's landing on the cell floor above all this was less-than elegant, as she was rather rushing the re-solidifying of her form. She marched through the broken cell door, following the little spark of energy that she hoped would lead her to the telepath. At the end of the hallway, she came to a set of metal doors, already blasted mostly off the hinges, which lead into a hallway that didn't match any of the others. Red carpeting, though it was now thin and almost brown, wood paneling, pictures of the Texas Longhorns and some middle-aged guy shaking hands with a Texas senator.<p>

Eclipse decided she must be heading to the Warden's office. Made sense that the telepath would have moved to an office rather than stay in his cell if he wasn't going to join the actual fight.

The dark-haired mutant picked up her pace, jogging now, and didn't even bother with the door at the end of the hall, she merely displaced herself around it to appear on the other side, braced in a fighter's pose, but from the look of things, she had neither been expected nor prepared for.

A tall, thin man, with hair nearly matching her own and probably only a few years older than Eclipse was sitting in the warden's chair, the man she guessed to be the owner of said chair was hunkered down in the corner, looking to be suffering the same symptoms as Nightcrawler. The presumed telepath's dark blue eyes narrowed at her.

"How did you...? Doesn't matter. No doubt you're here for the same reason as the blue one." His eyes flashed with an odd light, and the buzzing in Eclipse's ears intensified, though it was still easily ignored. His eyes widened now, looking at her with something between panic and fury. "How are you-"

"Let me guess. You were just trying to fry my brain the same way you did with Nightcrawler?" She had started across the floor towards him, her fingers elongating into spike-like claws. She had stopped using a full-arm blade for the simple fact that her finger-claws allowed her to still use her hands. They were one of the things she had perfected after better learning to control her powers, being much less cumbersome and sophisticated than warping her whole arm. "Sorry, but telepathy doesn't work on me. Now let go of Kurt or I seriously mess you up!"

The telepath jolted, realizing that his mental tricks really were no good against her, and that all he was doing was getting his mental strength sapped. He shot out of the chair and bolted for the door, which of course meant he had to pass Eclipse to do so. She phased to the right, blocking him easily, and struck out with the claws of her left hand, but he dodged the swipe with a rapid back-pedal. He was faster than she had thought. He scrambled backwards again, though he seemed to realize that she could get to any place in this room a lot faster than he could.

"You started this riot, didn't you? Why?" She questioned, advancing toward him again, hoping that if she got him to focus on her, he would leave Kurt alone. Still, she would guess her best bet was to knock him over the head until he passed out -and that would be her preferred method- but she knew the other X-Men would want some answers.

Despite the fact that he was steadily keeping a wary distance between them, the telepath drew himself up. "I only egged it on. This was a long time coming. They locked us up for no reason!"

"So you brainwashed all the other mutants, and sent them out on a killing spree while you sat here in a nice comfy office torturing people?" Eclipse felt her lips pull back in a grimace. "You're a coward! Using everyone else to do your dirty work!"

"Have you ever been locked up?" He sneered in response.

"I don't use my powers to hurt people or mess with their heads, and I'm guessing playing puppet-master is something you'd have to practice, isn't it? Now let them go!" She charged at him again, and she realized suddenly that in all their circling, he had picked up a fire ax lingering behind the door. He swung it down at her, probably hoping to take her by surprise and bury it in her head.

"You can't lock me up again!"

Apparently he hadn't been paying attention. She charged herself with now practiced skill, moving around him in the space of a few nanoseconds, and stabbed her claws into the back of his neck.

She didn't have to worry about seriously damaging him; especially since her second mutation, her claws had never been very good at cutting people. He'd likely have a bruise or a burn, but no broken skin. The small blades, like most other things about her, were more adapted to dealing with energy than physical matter. Since she'd mutated a second time, she had gained an ability to charge the claws she formed the same way she did when she broke down her solid form, allowing them to 'phase' through people. Usually only burning or bruising slightly, while seriously messing up any energy they met with.

In effect, she wasn't cutting off his head, she was screwing with his nervous system, cutting off the synapses from the rest of his body and putting him in a state of paralysis. Just to be certain he was letting go of his minions and Kurt, Eclipse changed to the pattern of his psionic power, cutting the synapses off in that part of his brain. She removed the claws and he crumpled to the floor. She hadn't yet managed to do any permanent damage doing that, usually only aiming for a leg or arm and causing a temporary 'dead-limb', but she found herself wishing he at least developed a twitch after this.

_My God! Julia, did you kill him? _Phoenix's voiced roared in her head suddenly.

_Ow, Jean, I can hear you just fine. And no. I just absorbed his synapses for a few seconds and clipped the psi-energy. He'll be fine. I've done that before. _

_ But never on a anyone's **brain**! _

_ Why would it work any differently? I had to stop him, that was the easiest way. _

Though she was definitely still picking up on some indignant thoughts from Phoenix, she seemed willing to put the matter aside for the moment. _Alright, his mind still seems mostly intact. And it looks like you were right about him instigating the riot. Most of the mutants have started to run, a couple are still fighting, but we're dealing with that and trying to calm the rest of the townspeople too. _

_ What about Kurt? _

_ Unconscious, but it doesn't look like there was any permanent damage. He was a strong telepath though, I had a lot of trouble fighting him; I'll feel better after the Professor has a look at Nightcrawler. _

_ Okay. Can you send Wolverine to help me with him? I don't think I can carry him too far on my own. _

_ It might take a few minutes before we'll be able to spare him. Just stay close to Kurt until he gets there, I don't want to risk anything else happening to him. _

_ Not a problem. What should I do with the telepathic guy? _

_ I'll keep him under, he won't be a problem. We'll have to take him back to the Professor too. _

_ Okay. I'll hold the fort until then. _

Just in case, Eclipse picked up the ax nearby, and carried it to the window, tossing it out. No sense in giving him an easy advantage, in case of the event Phoenix lost her hold on him. She headed out the window after the ax, morphing back down to the second floor.

Nightcrawler was in the same place he had been when she left, and still curled as tightly as he could manage in on himself, his tail looped over the back of his own neck.

"Kurt?" As gently as she could, she pulled his tail away from his neck, gingerly pulling his hands away from his head, trying to ease the tense state he was still in. "Kurt, can you hear me at all? The telepathy should have stopped." She set a hand lightly on his forehead, hoping to soothe him, somehow, but whatever the telepath had been doing to him seemed to have a few residual effects. She could, in theory, just cut his brain off the same way she had the telepath, but she wasn't sure whether that would ease the pain or make it worse, so she wasn't going to risk it, not on him. But she didn't like not being able to help him either. She just had to settle for gentle touches and soft words, hoping it made it through the unconscious coma.

* * *

><p>"You know Jules, staring at him isn't goin' to make him wake up."<p>

"I was not staring Logan." She smiled and twisted in Hank's infirmary chair to meet his curious gaze as he entered the door.

"Chuck says he's been picking your brainwaves up in the same place for the last forty-five minutes. What _have _you been doing?"

"Not molesting Kurt while he's unconscious if that's what you're implying." She turned the chair back around to face the infirmary bed again, Kurt curled up in a little ball, though not nearly as tense as he had been in Texas, sleeping like a kitten.

"Hey, you said it, I didn't." Logan shrugged, leaning on the door frame.

"Well, it's nothing like that. He won't let me leave." She lifted her arm, showing Logan her wrist, which Kurt's tail was wrapped around firmly. "Whenever I try to pull him off he grabs my other hand."

"Couldn't you just 'port outta here? Or whatever it is you do."

"Yeah, I could, if I wanted to add a paralyzed tail to the reasons he's in here. But it's not bothering me, so I thought I'd just stay. Plus I'd have to run to my room naked if I did."

"Hmph. Kind of you." Logan smirked. "Somethin' is bothering you though, ain't it?"

"Mm. That telepath. Was using my powers on him wrong? Jean was pissed about it, but it was way faster then trying to deal with him her way."

"I don't think so." Logan shrugged. "I woulda done the same thing."

"I guess I just feel bad. I acted in anger, I wasn't really thinking about it. I just wanted him to stop."

"He was hurtin' yer friend." Logan said firmly. "You did what most sensible people would do: put a stop to it."

"Still. Mutants have got enough problems, and it seems like all we ever do is fight each other." Julia crossed her legs at the knee; lifting her arm so Kurt's tail didn't get caught in the mix. "Did the Professor manage to figure out what set him off that way?"

"Yeah. The guy you found with him in the office, the warden o' the prison, he was the kid's dad."

"He...he was torturing his own father?"

"He'd had the guy locked up the day his powers started showin'. Not surprised he went a little batshit."

"Yeah but...why did he wait so long? He was a telepath, he could have just made his father do what he wanted, including let him out. Right?"

"I dunno Jules." Logan shrugged. "Chuck is still sorting through mosta what's in his head. Fer now though, we think it's safe to assume he was biding his time. He wanted his father to collect all the other mutants for him, he wanted time to spread his influence. He was another Magneto waitin' to happen."

"Hm," Was the only answer she had for a moment. "I guess we'd all have that potential if you lock us up long enough."

"Maybe. But I don't see the elf goin' on a killing spree any time soon."

"You make a point." She smiled down at his sleeping face. Kurt was a gentle spirit by nature, and probably always would be. "One thing I still don't get though, why do you think Cerebro missed it? All those mutants in one place, and all of them so angry and scared...surely it picked up on something."

"Probably the kid." Logan shrugged. "Making everyone think everything was okay. But I dunno. I'm just a scrapper. I don't do none o' the fancy mumbo-jumbo stuff, I just scratch things I don't like."

Julia snorted at his obvious over-simplification. When someone lived as long as Logan did, they naturally started to think about the bigger things in life. The big picture. Though he would never openly reveal it to anyone, Julia was prone to thinking Logan was secretly one of the smartest amongst the X-Men. And even if to most he just seemed like a berserker, Logan had a code of ethics of his own that he was immovable on. Still, he was the kind of guy who preferred to keep things simple; so for the most part, yes, he did just scratch things he didn't like.

"Anyway, I'll let ya go back to playing nurse." A smile curled his lips again as Logan turned toward the door. "Don't forget dinner, cuz I ain't playin' nurse for you."

"Your concern is very touching Logan," She laughed, craning her neck to toss him a mock-glare on his way out. "But I'll be fine."

Not half an hour after Logan had left, Kurt finally stirred, showing the first signs of life in nearly twelve hours. Of course, considering he only rolled over, clutching his head and groaning, Julia wasn't certain they were positive signs.

"Hey. Welcome back to the world of the living."

Kurt jolted, evidently having not known she was there, and abruptly started scuttling toward the wall, actually making it a couple feet towards the ceiling before realizing he was hauling Julia along by her arm.

"Kurt, calm down! You're okay." Her voice was a little less soothing than she had hoped, probably due to the fact that she had been yanked out of her chair and nearly dragged up the wall. "Would you please either get down or let go of me?"

"_Was ist da?_"He demanded in return, eyes darting around in an almost terrified fashion.

"Kurt please, just calm down." This time, she managed to lower her voice, keeping it mellow. "I can leave, if that's what you want. But you need to let go of me first." She gestured to the wrist that still had his tail coiled about it. "It wasn't real, whatever it was. You're okay, you just need to let go."

As suddenly as he had tried to get away from Julia, Kurt now practically leaped back at her. For a moment Julia held her breath, actually expecting him to attack her or something of the sort, but he landed deftly at the edge of the mattress, hunkered down in a crouch so he was almost level with her, and grabbed her in an embrace so tight he legitimately lifted her off the floor slightly.

"Uhm...Okay. You're really starting to worry me..."

"_Vielen Dank, Gott im Himmel! Es war nur ein Traum. Ich wusste nicht, was ich denken soll..." _Kurt was mumbling rapidly in German, his head buried against her neck. "_Fast hätte ich geglaubt, die __Alpträume._"

"Kurt, darling, I have no idea what you just said. I still don't speak German."

"_Das ist in Ordnung. Ich will euch eines Tages_."

"Kurt, seriously."

"I said I vill teach you someday, _liebling." _He chuckled, and Julia was honestly relieved. She was beginning to think the telepath might have made him forget English or something. Her arms wrapped around his back without any real thought, returning the embrace he was still holding her in.

"You mind translating the first part for me now?"

His grip loosened on her, setting Julia back on her feet, but he didn't let her go completely, and she felt him set his chin on her shoulder. "I'm just glad to see you. The vay you really are. I almost believed some of de things he vas showing me. But I know dey're not true now..."

"You want to talk about it?"

He was silent for a moment, thinking about it she guessed, before shaking his head against her shoulder. "Nein. I don't think I need to. I just needed to remember de truth."

"Okay. That's good then," Julia agreed, though she still had a lot of questions. Like what precisely had made him back away from her like she was coming after him with a torch and pitchfork. And then turn right around and hug her like he hadn't seen her in years. She would guess whatever the telepath had done to him had something to do with her, but she wasn't going to push him on it. Not after that first reaction. Better to give him time to calm down and recover.

"How long vas I asleep?" He asked suddenly, letting go of her all together, tail and all, and glancing out the infirmary window. "I don't remember coming home at all."

"We got back about one this morning, trying to sort out the mess that guy made back in Texas took a little longer than we thought. So...you've been sleeping for about twelve hours now. Give or take. Professor Xavier couldn't even get you to wake up telepathically."

"Really? Dat's unusual..." He glanced away from the window and back to her. Julia could only shrug. Like Logan, she didn't really get all the ins-and-outs of psychic jargon.

"Something about since the other guy was the one who put you under, if he forced you to wake up it could seriously damage your brain; we had to wait for you to wake up on your own so there was no trauma or shock or something like that. I didn't understand it honestly. I guess you had to wake up gradually though, cuz if it all happened at once it would make you go crazy." She twirled her finger next to her temple, emphasizing her point.

"Ah," Was all he said, as though he had actually understood the horrid explanation. "But de problem vas solved?"

"Yeah. I had to stab him in the brain, but it got the job done."

Kurt's jaw dropped. "_Mein Gott!_ Jyulia, you killed him?"

"Why does everyone keep assuming that?" Julia huffed, sitting down in the chair heavily. "I didn't kill him. Gave him a permanent eye-twitch hopefully, but he's definitely not dead. My claws don't cut people, just mess with their nervous system, and bruise a little bit, admittedly. The Professor says he'll be fine in a few days. Seriously though, why does everyone automatically think I tried to kill the guy?"

"Vell, _liebling_, you do have quite a temper," Kurt pointed out, rather cautiously, but hopefully only to make a point. She'd never thought her temper to be all _that _terrifying. The most she ever did was yell.

"Can you blame me? I thought you were _dying _or something."

"Oh." He looked flustered for a moment, tail curling around his ankles. "I'm sorry you vere so vorried then."

"Never mind it. I'm just glad you're back to normal." She shook her head, thinking it silly for him to apologize at all. "Well, now that your tail has let me go, I think I'm going to go grab some dinner. Want me to bring something back for you?"

In response, his stomach growled audibly, reminding them both that he hadn't eaten since before they left for Texas. She stifled her laughter for a few seconds, but when Kurt chuckled, she figured it was okay to indulge in a nice laugh after twelve hours of being unsure when she would even get to talk to him again, let alone laugh with him.

* * *

><p><em>Second Author's Note: As usual, please keep in mind I don't speak German, so the above sentences may not be accurate. But, according to Google translate they correspond to the following English: <em>

"_Was ist_...?" = "What is...?"

_A__ussteigen = Get off/Get out_

_Vielen Dank, Gott im Himmel! Es war nur ein Traum. Ich wusste nicht, was ich denken soll..__Fast hätte ich geglaubt, die Alpträume =_ Thank God in heaven! It was only a dream. I did not know what to think ... I almost believed the nightmares. __

_The other he translates for you all, and the rest are fairly basic/easy to guess. :)_


	9. Chapter 9

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Finally, finally school is done. I can't tell you how happy this makes me. Until I have to go back next term. Oh well. Anyway, here is a new chapter of Gaze and Glance. Oi. Sorry for the delay, I hope this chapter makes you all happy. :) _

_P.S. To my knowledge, there is no such thing as a recent re-make of Sinbad. I'm pretty sure I made it up. If there is, and it's too terrible to have been in theaters, just pretend like that's not the one I'm talking about. _

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

Kurt knew it was Julia walking to his door before she had even started knocking. He didn't really know how, he just did. He called to her that the door was unlocked, and she sidled in, something oversized and gray over her arm.

"Vhat can I do for you _liebling_?" He questioned, turning so that he dropped to her eye-level, hanging from the bar he had been sitting on by his tail. In all his years in the circus, Kurt had never once suffered from vertigo, or the sensation of blood rushing to his head when he chose to hang upside down. It seemed his body was fully adapted for such positions; sometimes he wondered whether he had been meant to stand upright at all.

"We're going out." He could gather by the determined expression she gave him that she meant he was going too. And he didn't like the idea. At all.

"Vhat?"

"We're going out. They're playing the new remake of _Sinbad_, and I know you never pass up a pirate movie, so I got tickets. I asked Hank if I could borrow his coat so you can cover up-"

"Jyulia, that isn't a good idea. If people see me-"

"That's what the coat is for."

"That von't cover up my face." The words came out with an unintended snap. He hadn't meant to be so cross, but the whole 'going out in public' thing was a point of bitterness for him. Julia imperviously dug under the coat, and raised her hand again with a Yankees ball-cap in tow.

"It's not going to totally cover you up, but I don't think anyone will be paying too much attention. And if you wear sunglasses, it'll be even less obvious."

"Vearing sunglasses at night?"

"Scott does it all the time. Nobody bothers him." She shrugged. "Come on, it's dark, the theater will be dark, you'll practically be invisible. Literally. You go out and fight crime without covering up." He could tell, just from her tone of voice, that she had a long list of arguments she could give him. He just hoped he could come up with decent counters. If nothing else, maybe he could just stall her until she was running late, and she would convince Marcy to go instead.

"People are usually too busy running to notice me."

"And people usually go to theaters to see a movie, not look around and see if they can spot the fuzzy blue guy," She countered immediately.

"I'm not going," Kurt said firmly. It wasn't that he didn't want to go, and if he were going to go alone, it would be another matter. But he didn't like the idea of a movie date with Julia ending with being chased through the streets by a mob; he'd like to spare her that, if he could.

"Kurt please? I really want to see this movie with you."

"Vhy? It vould be so much easier to go see it vith someone else."

"Because...because you can't stay cooped up like this your whole life. It's unhealthy. So what if you have to hide while you do it, you have as much right to go out and see a movie as anyone else. I just want to...you know, spend some time with you. Normal time, where we're not fighting, or training, or cooped up in the mansion. Besides, after Texas, I thought maybe you could use a vacation."

"Sneaking me around that vay vould not be much more normal. Or much of a vacation." He pointed out, his upturned hand brushing her face lightly, and her hand touched his. As usual, his own odd appearance was painfully obvious by comparison. All four of her perfectly normal human fingers wrapped around his two.

"We're X-Men. We have to take normalcy with a grain of salt."

* * *

><p>He couldn't believe he was doing this. It was probably only by the grace of Julia's firm grip on his arm that he wasn't running for the hills. Or teleporting, as the case may be. Kurt felt himself automatically shy away as yet another bystander wandered past, too close for his comfort, and Julia gave his arm a reassuring squeeze, smiling encouragingly at him.<p>

His disguise, if that's what you wanted to call it, seemed to be getting the job done. Hank's coat was large enough on him that even when Kurt straightened up to his full height, almost six-feet even, it very nearly dragged on the ground. The sleeves were long enough to cover his hands, though he kept them in the deep pockets of the trench, just to be safe, and there was plenty of room to keep his tail safely out of sight. Tucking the tops of his pointed ears into the hat, and the sunglasses hiding his eyes, he supposed he must look passably human. A crazy or eccentric one maybe, but human none-the-less.

The walk to town from the school was a short one, ten or fifteen minutes max, but Kurt teleported them into Salem Center anyway, if only because the less walking he did, the less he ran the risk of ruining Hank's coat. After that, they stuck to alley ways and the street with as few people as possible for the remaining two blocks to the theater, and he was saying a silent thanks for it being a stand-alone theater, rather than the kind embedded in a mall. He doubted he could make it through a mall without someone noticing his blue-ness.

Julia picked up the tickets while Kurt lingered nearby, trying to stay out of sight. She beckoned him over, and, albeit hesitantly, he obeyed.

"The hard part's over," She said quietly, taking his arm again, and leading him past the ticket booth. "All we need now is to grab some popcorn and seats." He only nodded and followed her lead, uncomfortably and completely out of his element, he figured his best bet was to just let her do all the finesse.

Less than five minutes later, totally without incident, they were seated as dead-center as they could get in the back row, beneath the projector, popcorn in hand.

"There. That wasn't so bad, was it?" Julia questioned, smiling over at him and helping herself to handful of popcorn. If nothing else, his tail made for a convenient cup holder, balancing the bag between them. So long as no one sat next to them anyway.

"It vent a lot better dan I thought," He admitted, also taking a handful. "Suppose it helps dat it's nighttime."

"Yeah, if I hadn't known you were there, I might have thought the coat was walking on its own," She smirked. He didn't exactly turn invisible in the dark, but he was rather like a chameleon about it, and just got very hard to see at first glance, and the influence usually seemed to spread to at least his first couple layers of clothing, however little sense that made. In a dark theater like this, he could probably go climbing along the walls unnoticed if it struck his fancy. However, the idea here was to pretend to be normal for the next two hours.

The trailers started, and the din of the other patrons died away, Julia and Kurt also falling into silence. It wasn't until midway through Kurt realized Julia had begun to watch the film with her head in the hollow of his shoulder, the arm rest pushed up so she could cuddle against him.

Unsure of what precisely to think, but inexplicably content with the feeling, Kurt returned the cuddle, leaning against her, tail abandoning the empty popcorn bag to curl over her knee. The rest of the movie passed with them barely moving, though Kurt had to admit, a lot of it might have had to do with his utter fascination with the brilliant special effects in the modern rendition of one of his favorite films.

* * *

><p>"So, did you like it?"<p>

"Ja. Very much." Kurt couldn't possibly contain his smile, even though it might present a danger of revealing his fangs to nearby theater-goers. So far no one had noticed his odd coloration, so he figured he might be safe. "_Danke _Jyulia, it's been a long time since I've seen anything on de big screen, let alone _Sinbad._"

"I knew you would like it. And maybe next time you'll trust me. I knew we would be fine." She looped her arm through his, smiling at him. Despite the odd get-up, Kurt could admit he hadn't felt this normal in a good long while. Maybe it had to do with Julia being here, maybe she made him brave, either way he was just glad their evening had passed without anyone noticing him.

This was, of course, before he noticed a group of people following them, watching him in particular, and whispering. He hadn't been blessed with Logan's enhanced senses, but he had above-average reflexes, and these guys were making him tense. If Julia noticed, she didn't show it when he glanced at her.

"Holy shit! This guy's got a tail!"

Both mutants froze as the entire crowd exiting the movie turned to stare at them; it was fairly obvious who they were talking about. The coat, while big enough to hide any obvious signs of the tail, couldn't quite cover up the nervous twitch which Kurt was beginning to curse, knowing he had accidentally revealed it by getting worried about their followers.

"He's a mutie!"

About the time Julia had whipped around to hurl an insult back, Kurt had bolted in the other direction, dragging her along by her hand, trying to put as much distance between them and the small crowd as possible. As he'd expected, they gave chase, no doubt thinking he was taking Julia against her will or some other ridiculous thing of the sort.

"Kurt duck!" Before he could ask why, his body automatically obeyed the order, dropping to all fours but still moving at the same pace, just in time to evade what looked like a bottle somebody had thrown at him shattering against the wall to his left.

Now that he had no grip on her, Julia stopped short, turning around to face the small group, four or five of them total, with such a look of fury on her face Kurt almost didn't want to interfere. It certainly stopped those chasing them in their tracks.

"What the hell do you assholes think you're doing?" She spat, the change into her dark form starting at her clenched knuckles, but moving slowly as her mind was probably more occupied with being mad.

"Jyulia, don't. Ve should just go," He insisted, touching her shoulder lightly. Whether she was listening to him or not didn't matter, because she didn't get a chance to answer.

"Just back away." The one that Kurt guessed to be the leader stepped forward, keeping a cautious eye on him, but focusing mostly on Julia. "We'll call the police for you, don't worry. It won't hurt you."

"Hurt me?" Julia scoffed, "Why the hell would _he _want to hurt me? We're just trying to enjoy a freaking movie date!"

As much as the man's face had been sympathetic towards her, it now twisted in disgust. "You're one of the mutie-lovers, aren't you?" He sneered. His concern, if it had been genuine at all, and not just an excuse to hurt Kurt, had melted entirely into contempt.

"I am a 'mutie' genius." As spitting mad as she had been a moment ago, it was nothing compared to the way she looked after her transformation swept over her. The inky black of her skin was shimmering, almost like fire, a projection of her emotions on her new, malleable energy-form, her hair swirling around her head almost violently. She started towards the humans, one hand raised, sprouting claws, and Kurt knew in that second that she fully intended to attack.

"Jyulia, no!" He did the only thing he could do, figuring that a quick jaunt couldn't possibly make matters worse. As far as the Professor was concerned, the X-Men were strictly prohibited from using their powers as civilians; such things tended to make humans even more uncomfortable with them, and usually only lead to more violence. But attacking wasn't in his plans.

He teleported once, getting close enough to Julia to grab her around the waist, then again, jolting them up onto a nearby church roof. He had noticed the roof while they were running, and had intended to hide them up here amongst all the convenient gargoyles and statues and overhangs once they were out of sight of the pursuers. Unfortunately, things had gotten out of hand rather quickly.

"Are you alright?" He asked, after several moments of Julia saying nothing, not even moving.

"No."

"Vhat is-"

"I'm just pissed!" Her hair flared up again, the odd, ethereal strands brushing his face, before she abruptly let it fizzle out, shifting back to her normal state. "I hate people like that." She jutted her chin towards the alley they had just left, obviously indicating the group that had been chasing them. Kurt could hear them shouting about spreading out and searching, but their voices soon faded as they did just that, in entirely the wrong direction. Heaving a sigh, Julia leaned heavily back against him; the two of them hidden in a deeply shadowed space beneath a particularly lovely statue of an angel. "I hate them," She said, more quietly this time.

"Dey're just people." Kurt shrugged, jostling her head slightly. They had landed rather oddly, as he hadn't known the exact lay-out of the roof, but he had tried to keep most of the impact to himself. Kurt had ended up crouching at the feet of the angel, grateful to let the natural curve in his spine have free reign again, with Julia sprawled between his knees, his arms still around her middle. Awkward as it might look, neither of them particularly cared, and Julia showed no signs of wanting to move. So he didn't let go. "You shouldn't have tried to attack them, _liebling_."

"They were throwing stuff at us."

"They vere throwing things at me," He corrected, but decided it was the wrong thing to say when she pulled out of his grip to glare at him.

"And that makes it okay?"

"No, but, you vere going to seriously hurt them. Ve shouldn't use our powers on regular people."

"That's a load of crap when it comes to people like that." Again, she indicated the alley.

"It's vhat ve must do. It's vhat makes us X-Men and not de Brotherhood."

"Brotherhood?"

"Dey are Magneto's mutants. Ve end up clashing vith them often." Kurt shrugged again. "People vill learn, sooner or later. Ve just have to give them time."

"It's seems like the more time we give them, the more they end up hating us." She crossed her arms and looked at the ground between them, Kurt still hunkered down at the base of the statue, Julia a few feet away, sitting on her knees.

"Jyulia, do you remember vhat you said to me de night ve met?"

She opened her mouth for a moment, probably to deny it, but after a moment, she nodded instead. "I said sooner or later we'd all be so mixed together that no one would find anything to hate." She sighed after she finished the summary. "It keeps seeming further and further away though."

"Ja. But ve need to keep trying, ve can't have our children growing up vith the same prejudice ve had too."

She glanced at him with a smirk. "_Our _children? Well then, when can I expect you to start trying to get in my pants?"

Kurt was grateful for the shadows hiding what he supposed must have been a somewhat flabbergasted expression. "I...I didn't mean...I vasn't implying...I give up." He finally sighed, burying his embarrassed face in his hands. She laughed, a genuinely amused, warm sound, pulling his hands away from his face.

"I know. You just make it so easy for me to embarrass you." She kissed his nose in a friendly gesture of affection, before pulling the sunglasses off his face. "I also can't take you seriously while you're wearing those in the dark." She set them aside, balancing herself with her hands on Kurt's knees. "So...I guess this means we should go back to mansion, huh?"

"Or ve could just stay here. I think de Professor vill be a little angry vhen he finds out vhat happened."

"And you think hiding from him will make it better? He's a telepath Kurt, he probably knows what we're planning as we speak."

"Ja. But den he vill know ve're only hiding so he can calm down and realize ve didn't start it." She nodded vaguely, apparently thinking it made sense.

"Wait, does the Professor even get angry?" She questioned suddenly. "I've never seen it happen."

"I don't know," Kurt replied with a shrug. "Better safe den sorry."

She smiled, seeming to realize that he was mostly making an excuse to spend some more time alone with her. Away from kids and friends who would undoubtedly barge in unannounced sooner or later. He couldn't help wanting to keep her to himself sometimes. "Do you think it's safe to go inside?" She asked, nodded toward the trap-door near the belfry, which would likely lead them into the attic and then down into the church, should they choose to go. "It's getting chilly."

"I don't know. If no vone is there, I don't think they vill mind." Not noting the oxymoron, Julia rose to her feet and started toward the trap-door.

* * *

><p>She made a quick lap around the church to confirm that no one was present, at least, not where they would bother them. The priest appeared to be back in his quarters, which were attached to a side hall of the church, but only one light was on and it was getting late anyway.<p>

"You're safe." She called up into the attic softly, not wanting to disturb anyone unnecessarily, and heard the obliging 'bamf' which indicated Kurt had entered the church as well, but he seemed to be staying up in the rafters, just in case.

Julia wandered back towards the altar, silently observing the huge stained glass window, the well-thumbed bible sitting on the podium, the rows and rows of candles. _Catholic church_, she decided, trailing fingers up the dusty panes of colored glass.

"This must be beautiful in the day light," She said aloud, uncertain whether Kurt could hear her. "I bet it makes the whole room colorful." She wandered back towards the rows of pews sitting on the one nearest the altar. "Then again, church has never really been my thing."

As though only just then believing her that the place was empty, Kurt ventured down to sit beside her, carrying Hank's coat rather than wearing it. She supposed it must make it a little difficult to wall-crawl, being so big for him. He had also taken the cap off, though she imagined that was more out of respect.

"Vhy?"

"Why don't I go to church?" He nodded in response. "I guess because I don't understand it."

"Vhy?" He asked again, his eyes brimming with curiosity.

"I dunno. Mostly just the part where we're all supposed to be made in God's image. After all, and I mean this in as nice a way as I can, I've never seen a picture of God where he has blue fur and a tail."

"Ah. Yes." He nodded, the aforementioned appendage darting behind his back, as though it had its own consciousness and had suddenly become shy.

"It's just that we're all so different, on so many levels, I just can't understand how that's true. Especially people like you and me. What kind of God mutates us and gives us these crazy powers, and then turns his back and lets us be so hated? I mean, we can't both be made in his image, so are we just a mistake? A twisted strand of DNA that's going to fade out soon? Where do mutants fit into his grand plan?" She hadn't realized that somewhere along the line, she had started talking to the stained-glass depiction of God, but now she turned back to Kurt, his gold eyes staring back at her as he pondered her words.

"I don't know," He finally said, turning his gaze briefly toward the glass as well, before bringing it back to rest on her. "Dhose are answers I've been trying to find for a long time as vell. But ve are not mistakes. Ve can't be."

"I hope that's true. But anyway, that's pretty much my reason. That and there are a lot of 'God hates Mutants' signs out there these days. Those tend to make me a little hostile." Julia shrugged, leaning heavily against the back of the pew.

"Do you believe in God?"

"Maybe. I don't know. Do you?"

"I used to vant to be a priest."

Kurt's simple statement quite literally floored Julia. She'd never even really picked up on the fact that he was religious, let alone devout. But after a moment, she realized her aghast reaction was probably pretty rude, and tried to pick the conversation up again. "What stopped you?"

"Aside from de fact I look like the devil incarnate and dey vonce tried to stake me like a vampire? I dought I vould make a bigger difference vith the X-Men."

"Oh."

"Ja. I still believe in God, but certainly not deir God anymore." He looked incredibly bitter about it too.

"Humph. Whatever happened to 'love thy neighbor'?" Julia sighed, resting her chin in her hand. "I suppose they should have included something like 'love thy neighbor even if they're a mutant, gay, black, Muslim or whatever the hell they want to be'." She answered her own question with plenty of sarcasm.

"Dey're just-"

"I know. Just people. Nobody is perfect." She shook her head with a smile. Kurt would have made a good priest. Or an even better flower child of the sixties.

* * *

><p><em>So, are you about ready to come home now?<em>

_ Professor? _Julia had long since drifted off into a mellow sleep, her body curled up against his -he would guess at least partially for warmth- but Kurt had stayed awake, waiting for the call from the Professor that he knew would come sooner or later. _Danke for pretending not to notice ve vere gone._

_ It's alright. I understand that you wanted some personal time. All the same, you should head home before any of the early morning church goers arrive. _

_ Ja. I vill bring her back. I suppose I should tell you about-_

_ I know. I edited their memories. As far as those men know, they simply saw you in the movie._

_ Danke...er, Professor, about Jyulia..._

_ Yes, I know she was acting defensively, considering those men were going to, and I quote, 'beat you within an inch of your lives', _The Professor inserted, without Kurt actually having to finish the thought. It rather made him shudder hearing the Professor talk in terms of violence, even if he was only quoting. _Unfortunately, she was still in the wrong. There was no reason to actually attack them, let alone using her powers. _

_ It vas only because she felt threatened. _Kurt pointed out. He couldn't fault Julia for wanting to protect herself or her friends. _And I stopped her before she actually hurt anyvone._

_That may be true, but she's using a frighteningly low amount of restraint. The mutant she attacked in Texas still hasn't fully recovered from what she did to him. I'm starting to worry that being an X-Man may be too much stress for her, and it's causing her to lash out._

_ If you dhought that, I don't think you vould have chosen her._

_ I just hope I was right in my assessment. _The Professor's voice was tinged with worry. _Kurt, I need to ask you a favor. Awhile ago, Julia asked for some time off to visit family. I'm going to give it to her, and I'd like you to accompany her. Try to talk to her, see if you can find the cause of her anger. She trusts you, she'll talk to you. _It was somewhat obvious that a main point of discomfort for the Professor was the fact that he couldn't simply probe her mind and find the answer. He had to do it the old-fashioned way.

_I dhink Logan vould be better to talk to her about anger. _Kurt thought back. Logan had dealt with similar issues of control, which, in Kurt's mind, made him the best equipped to deal with it. _She trusts him as vell. _

_I'm afraid Logan may have already encouraged her use of violence. I'd really prefer that you try to discuss it with her._

_ I vill ask her about it, but I'm not going to simply invite myself to join her on a trip intended to visit her family. _

_ Very well. I understand. Either way, it's best you head home for now. _

_ Ja. Ve vill be there in a few minutes._

Rather than bothering with waking Julia up, Kurt simply adjusted her so that she was in his lap, which would make it easier for him to carry her once they arrived at the mansion. Her head lolled against his shoulder, though other than that, she didn't stir. Even after the jaunt up and into the mansion's guest wing, she scarcely seemed to notice she had been moved at all. She was truly one of the deepest sleepers Kurt had ever encountered. He stood from the floor, balancing her carefully with Hank's coat over one arm, while his tail fished around in her jacket pocket for the key to her room.

Suddenly seeming to realize she was rather far away from where she had started snoozing, Julia's mercury-colored eyes opened slightly, glancing around.

"Where'd we go?" She questioned him sleepily.

"Novhere. Just home."

"Mm," She agreed in a mumble, burying her head against his neck, her arms looping around in a clinging hug.

Finally finding the key, but having a touch of difficulty actually unlocking the door, seeing as his tail lacked any actual digits, Kurt pushed it open with his foot, striding in with Julia still hooked around his neck, even as she started to fall asleep again.

"You know somethin'?" She questioned, sounding only half-awake at best.

"Vhat?"

"You're really warm." She said so very matter-of-factly.

"Being fuzzy helps. I'm insulated." She giggled, though he hadn't really meant it as a joke. He was actually quite serious.

"Reminds me of a teddy bear," She continued, cuddling her face against him. Kurt merely nodded, unsure of how to respond as he tried to set her down on her bed.

"You must let go _liebling,_" He chided gently when he found her arms were still tight around his neck.

"You should stay here."

"Nein. I shouldn't."

"Why not?" If Kurt hadn't known better, he would think she almost sounded hurt, but her arms were at last sliding from around his neck.

"It just vouldn't be a good idea."

"Why not?" She asked again, this time more insistent. He was silent, feeling the ever-more-persistent nervous twitching of his tail, but Julia stared him down, absolutely daring him to try escaping without an answer.

"I am...unsure of vhat you vant from me," He finally said, slowly, trying to put complex thoughts and muddled emotions into words. "I don't understand...your feelings."

"My feelings?"

"Ja. I realize dhat you care about me. But I don't know vhat kind of caring it is. Friendly or...or something else. And I don't understand my own eidher."

"Okay," She said, just as slowly. "I think I understand. But it's not really something I can just summarize for you."

"I vas afraid of that..."

"Look, I'm just trying to be honest. I don't bullshit about emotions, I just kind of act on them...that's all I can really say. I don't think my 'feelings' are exactly simple, I don't even know whether I understand them any better than you do. I just know that I like being close to you. I like talking with you and being around you and...well, honestly, I really like the idea of dating you. I guess. I want you to stay because I do; I don't really care about the reasons why." She scratched her hair slightly, trying to distract herself, and ended up twisting it. Kurt reached over on an impulse and pulled her hand away.

"You vill get rats." He said simply when she looked at him questioningly.

Julia sighed, looking thoughtful, likely trying to think of another way to explain. "The fact that I'm attracted to you is really the only thing I can be definitive on right now. And, honestly, I was fairly certain I was making it obvious."

Both flattered and flustered, he looked away. Kurt wasn't exactly sure how he wanted to respond. After all, someone being genuinely attracted to him wasn't something that occurred on a regular basis. But he couldn't be skeptical, not of her. Julia was nothing if not genuine. He was also not accustomed to being propositioned, which was what he assumed she had been going for earlier.

"Hey, why are you getting embarrassed? I'm the one spilling my guts here. You could say...something." And then, after several more seconds of silence, she merely sighed and shook her head. "Never mind. This is getting weird now."

"I'm sorry, I just-"

She shook her head again. "My fault. I wasn't thinking. Seems to be happening a lot these days. I guess I made too many assumptions."

"Assumptions about vhat?" Kurt questioned, desperate to understand. He was all turned around and tangled up in his own feelings, he couldn't possibly begin to sort through hers as well.

"About you. That we were on the same page about this. I just...the dance and...and you asked to kiss me, I just kind of assumed that meant you wanted to pursue some kind of relationship, more than friends. I wanted to, so maybe...maybe I forced my own feelings on you. I'm getting the idea that might be the case now, which probably explains why you shut me down every time I try anything. I always thought you just needed more time to decide, or get used to the idea or something. So now I'm really embarrassed about the whole thing, and I'd like to pretend like it never happened." It spilled out like a tidal wave, all at once and very quickly, and Kurt was surprised to see a glimmer of tears in her eyes. She probably thought he couldn't see them in the miniscule lighting, and was trying to keep them in until he left because of that, to spare him the guilt. But he could. He had never seen her sad, not like this. It made him ache knowing he had unintentionally caused it.

Twisting his tail between his fingers, Kurt couldn't meet her eyes as he spoke. "You're right."

"About which part?" Her words were a scoff, though he suspected it was only to cover up the sad tone they would have otherwise.

"De more than friends part. About vhat I vanted."

"Wanted?" She cast him a withering look.

"Vant," He corrected.

"Then why in the world are you being so incredibly frustrating?"

"I...I dhink because I still have so many doubts," He admitted. "Jyulia, you are...you're very beautiful. And vhenever I look at you, it just makes de vay I look..." He blinked, realizing that was what the main problem was. It wasn't that he couldn't believe Julia was attracted to him, it was because she was so pretty in his eyes that whenever they were together he suddenly became conscious of how he looked, and felt completely out of place next to her. He had come to terms, for the most part, with his own appearance. It wasn't something he could change, so he had made the best of it, with the circus performances and eventually with joining the X-Men. But his ever growing feelings for Julia made him insecure all over again. Not only that, he was worried that the prejudice most people had towards him would carry over to her when she could otherwise avoid it, just like it had earlier that night. He was worried that it might one day make her feelings change. And of course, he was still completely embarrassed about accidentally biting her. Once was easy to forgive, but he was certain it would happen again; and he wasn't sure even Julia had the patience to deal with his clumsiness about his fangs multiple times. Or his tail continually grabbing her because the damned thing seemed to have a mind of it's own half the time. Or the fact that when she held his hand, it was never going to fit quite right with hers.

He stopped himself before he got too much further into his own insecurities. He looked up at Julia, realizing suddenly that he had been staring at the floor for the last few seconds. But she was also looking at something else, deliberately avoiding eye contact.

"I can't try to make those doubts go away if you don't give me a chance," She said quietly. "But I think I understand why. Sometimes I forget how much harder it is for you to not feel self-conscious, even with other mutants. Although, you still haven't told me what you want me to _do _here. I mean, should I just stuff all this back in my brain and we'll never speak of this again, should I keep trying to convince you, what?"

"Perhaps...now ve can both try?" He offered, equally as quietly. As insecure as he made himself feel, Julia had always taken everything about him in stride, she had never been afraid or uncomfortable with him, she had always been sincere in liking him and befriending him. He wanted, if nothing else, to in some way return the affection, the warmth she made him feel. And maybe that meant learning to express said affection even when his first instinct was to hide it away from her, subconsciously fearing her reaction.

Finally, the sadness faded from her eyes, a small smile curving her lips gently. "Grab a pillow blue-boy."

He couldn't have said no, if for no other reason than that smile meant too much to him to risk losing it again.


	10. Chapter 10

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's note: Well, this chapter is totally a runt and I didn't even notice. Uhm...I'll probably put two up tonight, to make up for it. It's pretty short. Anyway, nothing much to say here, just them being cute. :) I plan to start getting back into actiony stuff again at some point in the story, but the next few chapters are mostly just about the romance. Other than that, I want to say thanks to those who reviewed and added this story so far, it means a lot to me. I love getting feedback and knowing whether I'm doing a decent job or not. That's all for now, have at the story. :)_

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><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

Like most other things, Kurt did his sleeping in a compact, contortionist fashion. They had gone to sleep back-to-back due to the fact he was insistent on being a good choir boy, and he was careful to keep as much distance as possible between them. However, over the course of the night, he had ended up with almost his entire body curled around her torso. He was now sharing her pillow, his head at an angle above hers so her hair was just barely brushing his chest, and his back was likewise bent in a way that seemed like it ought to be uncomfortable. With his limbs all tucked in -hands curled between her back and his stomach, and his legs folded up- Kurt presented an image that was very childlike.

And it was the cutest darn thing Julia had ever seen.

She realized that he was probably going to wake up soon and think she was a total creep for watching him, so she slid as subtly as she could backwards toward the edge of her mattress, sitting with her feet on the floor and stretching. She had never slept so well with another person in her bed. Usually she was conscious of them the entire night, and ended up being unable to sleep because of it. But not with Kurt. She had been out almost as soon as she had pulled the blanket up over them. She hadn't even noticed him moving, and he'd obviously done plenty of that at some point.

Seemingly without her notice, or permission, Julia's hand reached out and stroked over his hair and down his neck, stopping between his shoulder blades, repeating the gesture a couple times. In response Kurt very nearly purred, before his face scrunched up against the light from the windows.

"Vhat time is it?"

She glanced at the clock. "Too early to worry about yet. You can go back to sleep."

"Vhere are you going?"

"Nowhere." She smiled, even though his eyes were still closed. "Are you always so inquisitive in the mornings?"

"I don't usually vake up vith someone to question."

Julia laughed, thinking this was rather like the proverbial 'morning after' of a spontaneous hook-up. Only without the questionable sex and sobriety. And a lot less awkward. She hoped anyway. "You're not going to freak out again if Marcy comes by about pancakes, are you?"

That got an eye open, peering at her sleepily. "Dhat depends."

"On what?"

"On vhether I am avake or not." Kurt closed his eye, pulled the blanket over his head using his tail, and for all intents and purposes, seemed to go back to sleep. She couldn't help another little snicker, heading for the bathroom and a shower.

Upon her return twenty minutes later, she discovered Kurt had migrated, if only slightly, back into a proper vertical position in the bed, still curled up, but no longer in a blanket cocoon. She crossed the floor and sat on the edge of the bed again.

"Hey Kurt?"

"Ja?" He asked sleepily, rolling onto his back and stretching out, rubbing his eyes. He was wide awake in the next heartbeat, as Julia had slid one leg over him, sitting primly on his lower abdomen. Not quite on anything important, but only just shy. Wide yellow eyes looked up her in dismay. "Jyulia...? Um...vhat are you doing?"

"Making sure you're paying attention." Her hands were sitting on his shoulders, leaning over him ever-so-slightly. Or, more accurately, she was basically pinning him in place so he couldn't teleport off without her and avoid her.

"Und how am I supposed to concentrate vhen you're-"

"We just need to have a quick talk, okay? You won't need to concentrate." Seemingly unsure of what to say, Kurt only nodded, but she could gather from his expression he was extremely apprehensive of where this 'talk' was going. She could see him swallow nervously, and wondered if he thought she was going to try and rape him or something.

"_Was_...vhat are ve talking about?" He questioned, when she had been quiet for a moment or two, waiting for a 'yay' or 'nay' on his part.

"Alright, the basic jist of it is: when I said relationship, I meant a fairly serious one. I can do the cutesy hand-holding kisses on the cheek thing for awhile, but I'm an adult, that's not going to keep me happy forever. I want something more than that, yeah? I just want to make sure there's no question of what I want, and that you're cool with it. I won't force you into anything, but I'm not going to wait forever."

"Obviously," He remarked, eyes darting to where she was sitting on him. Julia felt a smirk creep onto her lips.

"Hey, I just wanted to make sure there's no confusion."

"Ja...vell, you've made your point perfectly clear..." There was a moment of silence, and Kurt cleared his throat. "Could you maybe...get off of me now?"

"You really want me to?"

"Ye-" He stopped mid-word, a look of what she guessed was good-boy guilt flashing over his face. "Maybe. I don't know."

"I'll just wait here while you decide."

A grin that could have almost been called sassy flashed across Kurt's mouth. "Perhaps I could barter a kiss for my freedom?"

"Mmm. You could." She nodded, feeling herself imitating his smile. "But it would have to be a pretty good one."

"I'm villing to risk it." Kurt's hands, which had been stubbornly kept to his sides before, slid up her legs in a deceptively bold fashion, one settling on her waist, the other continuing up her back. She could gather he was still a little nervous, perhaps expecting her to change her mind; so she only smiled and let him go at his pace rather than hers, wanting to prove that if there was anything that would get between them, it was his own anxiety. His wandering hand finally found a place at the nape of her neck, giving Julia a gentle tug down towards him, and Kurt levered himself up slightly to meet her. Her arms automatically slid around his neck, partially to help hold him up, partially to keep him close to her.

It was a gentle, sincere kind of kiss, tentative maybe, but nevertheless full of pure, tender affection that Julia felt to her very soul. She had never felt quite so comfortable and secure as she did in that exact moment. It seemed like there had always been a part of her that craved this kind of closeness to him. She always felt safe, had always found it so easy to trust him. She was seriously beginning to wonder if she had bypassed having a crush on him altogether and simply fallen in love with Kurt.

Julia was momentarily deterred from her thoughts by his tail snaking its way under the shirt she had slipped on after showering, and she would guess he wasn't intending it to be idling away in such a manner. Hoping to spare him embarrassment when he realized his tail was inches from sneaking under her bra, she nipped Kurt's lower lip lightly to get his attention, smiling at him slyly while the tail froze in place, lying flat against her ribs as though she wouldn't notice it if it stopped moving. "You doing that on purpose?"

"Uhm...perhaps I got carried avay?" Kurt's tone was sheepish.

"Perhaps." His tail slithered back out of her shirt, unintentionally making her shiver. It was an odd feeling after all. "Then again, this went from innocent to intimate pretty quick." She slid to one side, getting off of him finally with a smile. "A promise is a promise. A kiss for freedom."

"I'm starting to dhink I vas better off de other vay." He still let her go and sat up, his hand sliding to her lower back rather than her hip. "Sometimes my tail seems to have a mind of its own." He added, giving his extra appendage a dirty look.

"Don't worry about it. I didn't mind, just kinda surprised me is all. I honestly wasn't expecting you to be quite so bold." Kurt flushed, cheeks tinging slightly purple.

"I suppose not paying attention to anything vhile I'm kissing you is going to be a recurring problem," He shrugged, though he looked embarrassed. "At least I didn't bite you dhis time."

"True, but some people think biting is sexy you know."

An expressive eyebrow darted up. "Are you vone of those people _liebling_?"

"That, darling, depends entirely on whether you intend to keep doing it or not."

Whatever smart reply Kurt may have had, Logan chose to spoil the moment by shoving through her door without a care in the world.

"Jules, Chuck needs to see ya, and he wanted to tell ya to bring Elf-" He paused, taking in the fact that they were sitting in the middle of her bed, unreasonably close together, in a pile of rumpled sheets. Logan however, bless his aloof sensibilities, paid no more attention to the fact after the initial observation. "Never mind. I see ya got that covered. So anyway, Chuck wants to see you both."

"You know, _mein freund, _most people vill announce themselves before they go barging into somevone's room." Kurt chided, attempting, Julia supposed, to not look guilty or embarrassed, though he had still scooted to the foot of the bed, putting obvious distance between them. "Vhy didn't the Professor just tell us so himself?"

"Guess he didn't want to interrupt," Was Logan's smirking response, turning back to the door with a what was likely supposed to be a wave.

"But obviously he had no problems with it," Julia sighed after the Canadian, rolling her eyes. "Do you think he actually tries to be such a pain in the ass?"

"I'm beginning to vonder," Kurt concurred, sliding off the mattress to his feet, Julia following suit a moment later.

"Guess we oughta go see what Xavier wants."

"Suppose ve should. Vould you like to valk or 'port?"

"Walk. Definitely walk. It's too early to be upsetting my stomach and going through another dimension." Julia waved her hand placidly. Truth be told, she barely even noticed traveling between the dimensions anymore. Whether it was because she could now dis-assemble at will, or simply because she had been jaunted by Kurt enough times to finally get used to it, she couldn't really say. Still, walking was really her preferred method of getting around if she wasn't in a hurry.

"Very vell. I dhink I vill at least go change my clothes first though."

"Aw, don't want everyone to know you didn't go home last night?" She smiled when Kurt averted his eyes, fidgeting slightly.

"I am...a little uncomfortable vith it..." He admitted. "I don't think I vant to start any unnecessary rumors..."

"I understand, don't worry. I'll see you in Professor Xavier's office then, okay?"

"Ja." He nodded, made a move as though to walk to the door, then abruptly wheeled around and pressed a kiss to her cheek. It was so quick she hardly had time to register the contact, and in the next moment and a puff of sulfur-scented smoke, Kurt was gone, leaving Julia with what she felt must be a rather silly-looking grin etched on her face.

The now-familiar trip to the Professor's office took less than five minutes, Julia knocking even though she was more than likely expected. "Professor?"

"Good morning Julia, please come in." He smiled though it seemed a little lack-luster, offering her the usual spot on the couch, coffee already provided on the end-table. "I'm uh...sorry about Logan. I have a difficult time contacting you telepathically, so I asked him to let you know, since he was already near your room. It was only after that I realized Kurt was also in your room; I'm sorry if he intruded in any way-"

"It's okay, Logan's just kind of rude that way," Julia waved the explanation off. If she wasn't mistaken, the Professor seemed genuinely embarrassed, and she had to wonder just what kind of thoughts he had been picking up on in Kurt's head. "Besides, we weren't really _doing _anything. Nothing, you know, naughty anyway." At least, not by her standards. Who knew what kind of conduct expectations the Professor had though. She also wasn't sure how she felt about people knowing about her and Kurt's budding relationship before they decided where and what is was going to be. "So, anyway, what did you need?"

"Awhile ago you asked me about vacation time to visit Arizona. Things have been relatively calm as of late, and Hank and I are planning to go to Los Angeles for a medical conference. In light of this, it seems an ideal time to drop you off in Arizona."

"Really? That's great! But wait, what does this have to do with Kurt?"

"I would like him to accompany you."

"Why?" Julia's tone was unintentionally sharp. Did the Professor not trust her to be left alone? Was Kurt going along to keep an eye on her? Or did Professor Xavier fear the reaction of her 'family' to a mutant and he was going as back-up? On the one hand, she would be glad to have Kurt along, even if it was only as a safety precaution; on the other, she was getting a definite 'ulterior motive' vibe from the Professor.

"We may be super heroes Julia, but I still prefer that we always watch each others' backs, even on vacations. If you'd prefer to take someone else along with you-"

"It's okay. I don't mind Kurt coming along. I just thought maybe you were sending him as a babysitter. I know I overreacted last night, and I've been thinking about it. But they were really going to try and hurt him...it just made me so mad..."

The Professor gave her a kind nod, and his eyes were surprisingly understanding. "When we're threatened, it has always been instinctive for humans to go into the 'fight or flight' mode, you're a fighter by nature Julia. But we have to learn to rise above that. Attacking humans, especially civilians, is only working backwards from what we want. You must remember that we didn't help you master your abilities so you could fight, but so you could-"

"Help. I know," Julia said quietly. She understood that, truly she did. But she had also only been trying to help Kurt, her first instinct had been to protect her friend. It was hard to think of helping people at the risk of them turning right around and clubbing your dearest friends with bottles or other blunt instruments. "Anyway, does Kurt know about this, or were you planning to just drop him off and hope he figured it out?"

"Ve discussed it avhile ago vhen Hank and de Professor got their invitations," Kurt answered for himself, materializing near the door. He strode over towards the couch, perching on the back rather than actually sitting on it, but such was his nature. "But ve thought it vould be nice to surprise you."

"All of you, or just you blue-boy?" Julia countered. Kurt loved surprises, especially when they happened to other people, and even when they didn't have the nice reaction this one did. One of his common pastimes was nonchalantly popping out of shadows unannounced and scaring the daylights out of people. And, for obvious reasons, his favorite victim was Marcy. Still, it was good to know he had already decided to go along, it made it seem a little less like she was being cross-examined.


	11. Chapter 11

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Kept my promise. Here's a second. This is another of my favorite chapters, just because I like Nana Hayle. She's a funny lady in my opinion. And I really enjoyed writing her and Kurt meeting. Also, I'm not sure 'mi pequena' is actually a nickname in Spanish, but I've heard it used before so I rolled with it. This one's fairly long, but as I said, not very actiony lately. If that's your jam, please be patient; I'll get back to super hero antics later in the story. :) _

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><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

Kurt hated heat. His least favorite thing was definitely sunlight combined with staggering temperatures; unfortunately, that was all Arizona had to offer him so far. Being fuzzy alone would have made it miserable, but combined with having to wear the same ridiculous get-up he had worn to the movies, Kurt was fairly certain it would take a gallon of water to replace the fluid he was losing. Julia didn't seem to mind in the slightest, her jacket under her arm so the sun could bathe her shoulders in her little red tank-top, tying her hair up in a ponytail as they walked from where the Blackbird had dropped them off to the nearest bus station.

"Here." He realized suddenly that she had been watching him with concern, and was now holding a water bottle out to him. "Are you going to be okay? Do you think maybe we should teleport instead? I can tell you where to go."

"Nein. There are too many people," Kurt answered, taking the water gratefully.

"Sucks they couldn't drop us off closer...I'm just really worried about you getting heat stroke or something."

"I vill be fine. Buses have air conditioning, don't dhey?"

"I guess, but it'll still be pretty hot if it's a crowded one..." She shrugged. "Thing is, it's been about six or seven years since I left, I can't really tell you how much this place has changed. I don't even know if this station will still have a route that goes toward the orphanage."

Though Kurt didn't want to seem whiny, he was fairly certain he groaned in response. She glanced at him again, her expression a frown of concern, before she stretched a hand out and grabbed his, dragging him behind a questionable public restroom.

"Teleport," Julia ordered simply.

"But dhere are people-"

"No one will notice. You're hidden back here, and if you're really worried, I can run interference for you, and catch up later."

"The Professor said-"

"The Professor is probably more than sixty miles away by now, and he's not wearing a trench coat and fur in ninety degree weather. You're not walking any further in this."

Kurt glanced around, nervously surveying whether there was anyone who would pay him any mind. Most people seemed more occupied with huddling under the shade provided by the station. He didn't want to stand in that crowd, even on an air conditioned bus. And besides that, being crammed in a giant tin can like sardines was sure to draw attention to something about him. He shuddered to think what could happen to them in such small confines if his tail accidentally brushed up against anyone.

"Fine. I think you're right Jyulia. Ve vill teleport. Vhere do I go?"

She shaded her eyes and turned toward the town, before pointing towards one of the taller buildings, a hotel if he guessed correctly. "If you can get us up there, I can find the fastest way to Nana Hayle's."

"Vill do." Since their hands were still linked, Kurt merely followed her finger with his eyes and jaunted them off towards the building. They landed, albeit a little inelegantly, near the edge of the roof. "I've been meaning to ask Jyulia, this 'Nana' lady, are you related? You said you didn't know anyvone in your family, so I vas a little curious."

"Mm...She's kinda like my adopted grandma or aunt or something like that." Julia shrugged while her eyes observed the landscape below them. "After my powers started showing, I started running away from a lot of would-be parents, because I figured they wouldn't want to keep a mutant. Usually, the police would find me and bring me back to the orphanage when the people who tried to adopt me gave up. Since I lived there so long, Nana became my legal guardian, because, you know, I kinda needed a last name, especially when it came to be getting a driver's license and stuff like that."

"Is she de one that named you Jyulia too?" Kurt asked curiously. He had never really considered what it was like to grow up without parents, without having any family ties; even he had had that, though it was technically a foster family they had never treated him like he wasn't one of their own. Scott had grown up in a similar fashion, but he had at least had the privilege of knowing his parents for part of his life. He had a name and a brother. Julia didn't even really have a name of her own. It was something that made his heart ache for her, thinking of how long she must have been all alone.

"No. That was the nurse's doing. That's the hospital where they found me." Julia pointed a few blocks south, toward a large, white concrete building. The sign above the door read: 'St. Julian's Mercy Hospital'. She smiled in a sort of cynical way. "I guess 'Julian' wasn't a very good girl's name, so they dropped the n. Suppose I should be grateful they didn't name me something silly like Frances."

"I dhink you vould have made a lovely Frances." She shot him a rather rude look, seeming torn between being angry and laughing. "But I like Jyulia. It's a very pretty name, I think suits you."

Her eyes softened, and her mind seemed to drift off somewhere before she smiled. "Thanks, I...I guess I just never thought about the fact I actually like my name." He squeezed her hand lightly, and Julia's smile widened. "We should probably go. Your hands are getting kinda gross."

She pointed him next to an old bank building, then to a grocery store, and finally, once near the old manor-house Mrs. Hayle had converted into an orphanage, she began describing the layout of back garden to him so they could hopefully dodge any prying human eyes.

Despite her description being as detailed as he could possibly want, Kurt realized he should have figured the garden would change over the years. Instead of landing safely on a cobblestone walk cresting a small hill, they found themselves several feet above a large fountain, and before he could work up the energy to teleport again, they landed as a heaped tangle of limbs in two feet of water.

"Holy shit that hurt!" Julia cursed, shooting into a sitting position, having landed directly on one of the spouts. Kurt had managed to dodge anything painful, but before she had hit the spout, Julia had landed mostly on top of him, which had sufficiently knocked the air from his lungs before he was nearly drowned. "Are you okay?" She asked, rubbing her shoulder, which seemed to have taken the brunt of the impact. Her legs were still strewn over his lap, her jacket and his Yankees hat floating about lazily. The sunglasses' location however was a mystery.

"Ja. Much better actually. But I also feel like a drowned rat."

"Of course we didn't bring any dry clothes either. Sorry about that, Nana loves this garden, I figured she would never change it." She untangled her legs from his, pulling herself up into a standing position, Kurt doing the same. He stepped over the edge of the fountain first, holding a hand out to steady her though he knew she probably didn't need the help. Assisting ladies was a polite thing his adopted mother and sister had made sure to teach him at a young age. He kept his eyes down even as she accepted his offer of help, as he suddenly realized wet, clingy tank-tops were a natural side effect of falling into a fountain. Not that he didn't _want_ to look, he just felt it would be rude. Still, he was having a hard time resisting the urge.

"Vorse things could have happened."

"Like what?"

"Suppose she had decided to plant roses dhere instead."

"Okay. Good point," Julia conceded. "I just really hope she's home now so we can at least ask for some towels."

"Do you dhink...maybe you should explain me first?"

"Oh." The single syllable had a tone that indicated the thought he might be a bit of a shock to her adopted guardian had not yet crossed her mind.

"Did you even tell her I'm a mutant?"

"Uhm...I kind of didn't even tell her that I'm a mutant." She confessed quietly.

"Vhat?" Kurt's mouth fell open slightly in disbelief.

"What do you mean what? That's not really something to be brought up over the phone, I just wanted to tell her in person." Julia shrugged, but her expression belied that she realized she may have dug them into a hole. "Besides, Nana has always been really adamant about teaching the kids she takes in acceptance and all that. She can't freak out too bad, right?"

"I dhink you're forgetting I'm a _fuzzy damon_."

"Look, she's not going to throw stuff at you or anything, I promise. I'll just try to explain and-"

"Julia! _Mi peque__ñ__a! _You're finally back!"

"Oh crap." Julia's single sentence about summed up Kurt's feelings as well. The elderly Hispanic woman, about seventy Kurt supposed, rocketed out of the back door of the old house with surprising agility for a woman her age, bustling toward the two of them with a wide smile. In a panic, Kurt went to the fountain, thinking to grab his hat and sunglasses, wherever they had got to, and try to hide himself while she was occupied with smothering Julia.

"Why on earth were you trying to use the backdoor? And why are you all wet? And who is this man you brought?" She fired off questions rapidly, holding Julia at arm's length now so she could examine her, the woman's eyes darting in Kurt's direction every so often, though he tried his best to duck out of her view until he at least found the glasses.

"It's...it's a long story. But we kinda fell into the fountain is all, I didn't realize you'd done so much landscaping Nana. Anyway, this is Kurt Wagner. He's my...he's a friend from New York."

"What kind of friend exactly?" Nana questioned suspiciously, obviously catching what had nearly been a slip of the tongue, and, quite unprepared for, she let go of Julia and swung around, grabbing a hold of Kurt before he could move away again. They made eye contact, and Kurt felt his insides roiling with anxiety as the woman finally got a good look at him. Without so much as a word, Esmerelda Hayle fainted on the spot.

"Nana!" Julia cried in shock. Despite his own surprise, Kurt managed to catch Mrs. Hayle before she fell completely. He could honestly say he couldn't remember anyone fainting on him before; that was a new one.

"I'm sorry, I dhink-"

"It's not your fault," Julia said firmly. "Can you help me get her inside?"

"Ja."

Nana Hayle was a short woman, probably not more than five feet tall, and though she was plump in a grandmotherly way, she still didn't weigh much. They carried her into the living room, and laid her out on the sofa.

"I think she'll be alright. That was probably just a surprise," Julia said, though her arms were crossed and a strand of hair was already wound around her finger. "Come on, let's find some towels."

Unable to think of anything to say, Kurt only nodded. He had known the introductions were probably going to be a little rough, but this was way, way worse than he had expected. Which was saying something. She led him upstairs, ignoring the slight trail of water they left, and pulled open a door that seemed to be the linens closet. She pulled a white towel from the shelf and draped it over his head, smiling as she tousled his hair in some semblance of helping him dry off.

"It's okay," She informed him mildly, and he didn't have to ask what she was referring to. "It's my fault. I didn't give her any warning. You should probably take the coat off, I think that's the wettest thing."

"Vhere are the children?" He asked while shedding the coat. She was right, it probably weighed as much as he did. She took it and opened a nearby window, hanging it over the sill so it could drip mostly outside.

"There aren't any. Nana's getting a bit old to take care of a bunch of kids on her own, the orphanage closed a couple years ago."

Kurt pulled the towel off his head, and started trying to sponge the water out of his shirt, hoping he seemed like he wasn't bothered by the fact Julia's sort-of-family was obviously terrified of him. "You should go make sure she's really alright Jyulia."

"I guess you're right..." She agreed, though she seemed more interested in grabbing her own towel from the closet. "Kurt, if she wants to meet you again, after I explain, will you promise to come downstairs? I know how that first reaction seemed, but she'll understand. I know she will."

"Vhat if she doesn't?"

"Then it's not going to change how _I _feel." Julia's hand curled around his free one. They're fingers didn't lace quite like normal ones would have, but Julia had splayed her fingers in a 'Spock-hand' before she took his, and they meshed well enough. "If she can't accept you, that's just something we'll have to live with. Besides, I'm a little too old for her to be telling me who I can be with." She stepped close enough to place a light kiss on his lips. "That's not going to change Kurt."

"If...if she vants to meet me I vill go down," He promised.

"Thank you. That means a lot."

* * *

><p>Esmerelda Hayle had always been a very devout catholic. So, needless to say, when she had been faced with what appeared to be a blue demon, she had fainted before she had even had time to start an "Our Father".<p>

But now, as she woke up and found herself greeted by her familiar, comfortable living room, she was beginning to wonder if it had only been a dream.

"Nana?"

"Ah! Julia, _mi peque__ñ__a! _I'm sorry, I must have slept right through your getting back." She quickly pulled herself off the couch, bustling over towards one of the many children she had begun to think of as her own. Well, perhaps Julia was no longer a child. She was a very gown up young woman now. Esmerelda had always known she would grow up to be beautiful, but even she hadn't expected her to be quite so striking and athletic looking; she wondered if her little wallflower had grown up into a model or an actress or something of the sort. "I had the strangest dream about you coming home early," Esmerelda continued, taking Julia's face in her hands and turning her this way and that, observing her features. She had a lot of earrings, too many in Esmerelda's opinion, but all in all, she was very pretty. Though she obviously still had her bad habit of twisting her hair, judging from the tangles present in the raven locks "You brought this man home, but when I got a look at him, he was blue! And he had these terrible yellow eyes, it was the strangest thing."

"Uhm, Nana, listen, I need to talk to you about that." Julia pried the elder woman's hands off of her face, and gestured for her to sit down again. Esmerelda did so, unsure what to expect. "The thing is...the thing is I did bring someone back with me. Kurt. And...he really is blue and has yellow eyes."

"What? Julia...I..._lo siento. _I don't understand child."

"Nana, Kurt is a mutant. Like me. We're both mutants. I wanted to try and explain it to you so you didn't uhm...freak out, but you saw us and came running out, and I didn't have time. That's really what Kurt looks like."

"Mutant? You mean...like those awful things they show on TV?" Esmerelda asked in disbelief. How could her little Julia possibly be one of those terrible, dangerous things?

"Well...yes, technically. But we're not like that. You know I won't try to hurt you, and Kurt never wants to hurt anyone. We live at this place, this school, for mutants. There's a Professor there who helps teach us, helps us learn to control our powers and use them for something good, we're a part of a team called the X-Men. I know it's a lot to take in right now, but please try to understand, mutants aren't all like the ones you see on TV. The X-Men try to save people, even from other mutants."

"I...oh my..." Esmerelda wasn't sure how to feel. "And...you've always been a mutant?"

"Not always, no. The first time my powers started acting up, I was ten or eleven."

"Oh. Well, I suppose that explains quite a bit." Esmerelda nodded vaguely. "You started getting very secretive in your teens, I suppose I thought it was a normal teenage thing, but now I see you had reasons as well. May I ask...what kind of powers you have _peque__ñ__a_?"

Julia seemed to hold her breath for a moment, as though debating the best course of action, before she looked at Esmerelda again, and suddenly, the gray of her irises bled out into the rest of her eye, the pupil disappearing. Continuing from there, her skin began to turn dark, then black, and it spread slowly to her entire body in a wave-like motion. Julia's hair lifted from her shoulders, dancing slowly around her head, looking almost as though it had become smoke. Her skin had a peculiar, shimmery texture to it, the way holograms always looked in Science-Fiction movies. "When I'm like this," Julia explained slowly, seeming more nervous than anything, "-I'm made of a weird kind of energy; we call it anti-energy. I absorb regular energy, like electricity and stuff. There are some other things I can do, but...I'm still learning a lot about my powers."

"Oh...Julia, this is incredible. Why didn't you tell me?"

Julia shrugged, and her skin rippled again, changing back much more quickly than it had the first time. She supposed Julia must have slowed it down so as not to alarm her. "Everyone was afraid of mutants, even back then. I wasn't sure how you would react, so I thought it would be better to keep it to myself."

"My poor little _hija_...such a big secret to keep. If I had known you were one, I wouldn't have been able believe all those nasty things the news says about mutants. Then again, I suppose I've always known they're very sensationalist..." Esmerelda trailed off. She had never seen a mutant on the news that wasn't either causing harm or being arrested. But now, she was starting to realize that was probably just the media spinning it the way they wanted. Those Purifier groups did seem to be the ones running everything these days. But Julia wasn't like any of those mutants, even Esmerelda had heard stories of the X-Men and she had always believed they were at least _trying_ to do good. "I hope it's not too late to tell you I'm proud of you."

"Proud of me?"

"You said you try to save people. Even with how cruel people must be to you, you are trying to help them." Esmerelda reached over to take Julia's hand in hers, giving it a tender squeeze. "You are the bigger person. I always knew you had a big heart _hija, _and that you would do the right thing. If you say not all mutants are bad, then I will believe you." Little tears showed in Julia's eyes, but she was quick to wipe them away, putting on a brave half-smile.

"In that case, Nana, I really want you to meet Kurt."

"The...the blue fellow?"

"Yeah. I know the way he looks is a little uh... different, but he's a very, very kind and gentle _person_ if you'll take a few minutes to talk to him. Kurt's human, he's just really unique."

"And this boy is...just a friend?"

"It's...kinda complicated right now. We're still sorting it out, but we're sort of...together. Or something."

"_Dios m__í__o_ _hija_, didn't you feel the need to tell me any of this? Bad enough I don't hear from you for nearly five years, now you've got a boyfriend?"

"I guess I wanted it to be a surprise." Julia shrugged with a small laugh. "Really though Nana, he's very sweet. And it would really mean a lot to me, and him, if you would try to get to know Kurt."

Though somewhere deep down Esmerelda thought she must still be a little scared, she agreed to meet this boy of Julia's. She could honestly cope with the idea that Julia was a mutant, if only because Julia didn't seem any different now than she had been as a child. But she wasn't sure what to expect from this other...person. If her memory from before she had fainted was accurate, he barely even looked like a person at all. But was that grounds to judge him by?

Esmerelda had never been one that was quick to judge, in fact, she'd had plenty of bigotry and discrimination thrown her way. No matter how long she had lived in the United States, she had refused to give up her native Mexican heritage. She still spoke Spanish, though she had also learned to speak near perfect English as well, and she dressed however she very well pleased, be it in a respectable blouse and slacks or a bright and festive dress her relatives in Querétero still sent her once a year. But the fact of the matter was, there were still some of her neighbors who looked at her with scorn, who called her rude names behind her back and whispered that she had tricked Richard Hayle into marrying her so she could steal his money.

She knew the burden Julia and this Kurt had been made to carry all too well. She admonished herself for being so quick to fear him before, she was acting just as judgmental as those terrible neighbors of hers. Besides, it was obvious, regardless of his appearance, Julia was very fond of him, to the point where she had practically been glowing when Esmerelda agreed to meet him.

A moment later, Julia appeared in the doorway again, both her hands holding what appeared to be a blue hand having only three fingers rather than the normal five. When whoever the hand was attached to seemed to suddenly doubt coming any further into the room, Julia leaned forward, whispering something, though Esmerelda couldn't hear it from where she sat. Julia smiled encouragingly, and gave his hand a tug, and as he stepped into the room, Esmerelda found herself hard-pressed not to gasp a little bit.

He was definitely blue, fuzzy from the look of things, and his eyes were a pupil-less golden yellow. Still, the most unusual feature, besides his hands, had to be the spaded tail which was curled around Julia's arm, indicating, she supposed, that he felt nervous.

"Nana, Esmerelda, this is Kurt."

"Er...hello," He said nervously, an accent Esmerelda couldn't place coloring his voice.

"Hello," She returned politely, though she was mostly unsure of how to respond, and she was trying very hard not to stare.

"I'm sorry about scaring you. I vas...uhm...I meant to stay covered up until Jyulia had explained de...situation."

"Hardly. I should be apologizing for fainting. That must have seemed horribly rude." Deciding to throw caution to the wind, Esmerelda stood and strode over, holding a hand out. "It's very nice to meet you Kurt. You're the first boyfriend Julia has ever bothered to introduce, so I suppose that must mean she really likes you."

"Boyfriend?" His eyes darted first to meet Esmerelda's gaze, and then to Julia. Esmerelda guessed, by the darker shade his cheeks had just become, which was difficult to see with the fur nearly hiding it, that Kurt must be blushing. Evidently they really were still working it out.

In response to his questioning gaze, Julia only shrugged. "What? What do you want me to call you? Something creepy like 'my special friend'?"

"Vell no, but-"

Getting impatient about holding her hand out, Esmerelda now reached and grabbed Kurt's free hand, which luckily happened to be his right, and gave it a firm shake. "So, are you staying for dinner?"

* * *

><p>The tension in the room was palpable. Kurt was, for the moment, seated at the large dining room table -a carry-over from when the house had still been an orphanage- while Julia helped Nana Hayle in the kitchen and set the table. The elderly woman had worked up quite a feast of old-style Mexican food, everything from fajitas to home-made salsa, and the three of them had been carrying on a fairly halting conversation, though it was painfully obvious neither Kurt nor Esmerelda knew what to say to each other. It was like the first time Julia had met Kurt all over again. At the very least, he finally seemed past the point where every sentence directed his way made him nervous, and he no longer seemed to be debating hiding upstairs.<p>

"So then..." Nana said absently, setting the last plate of food in the center, before joining Kurt at the table, Julia following shortly afterwords. "Kurt, seeing as you're a...mutant as well, do you have any powers like Julia?"

"Not like hers exactly."

"Kurt's a teleporter," Julia interjected gently, trying to make it somehow less awkward. Kurt was apparently very uncomfortable with discussing anything mutant-related, but it only made it more uncomfortable if he simply didn't answer.

"Teleporter?" Nana blinked, clearly not comprehending.

"I move between dimensions," Kurt explained, "-and end up somevhere else in this one."

"Why don't you show her?"

"I agree. I think that would be better than technical explanations." Nana nodded firmly, seeming genuinely interested.

"Er...alright. Vhere do you vant me to go?"

"Just...the other end of the room?" Kurt nodded to Nana Hayle's request, glanced at the corner farthest from him, and with the usual 'bamf' and smoke, he disappeared from his place next to Julia, and was now on the wall opposite. Seemed he felt like showing off his wall-crawling ability too, as he was several feet of the ground.

"_Dios m__í__o!_ That's amazing! Are you related to Spiderman?"

"Unfortunately, no." Kurt shook his head with a smile, dropping to the floor and giving them his performer's bow. He had said once that his circus habits were very hard to break. "I don't think dhere is much of a resemblance."

"I suppose that's a good point." Nana Hayle nodded, then quickly put a hand over her mouth. "Oh! I'm sorry, I was only-"

"It's alright."

And just like that, all the discomfort came pouring back into the room.

"Well, can't say I've ever seen Spiderman's face, but I bet Kurt is the handsome one." Julia announced bluntly. She was really starting to get annoyed with the awkwardness, but she didn't know how to break it, so she decided to just settle for hoping it would eventually ease if she pretended not to notice the discomfort.

"I don't know if ve should trust your judgment _liebling,_" Kurt said with a smile, though it was a rather wan one, sitting back in his chair. "You are attracted to some very strange men after all."

"Hey! Don't you knock my taste in men."

"Ooh, you should have seen her first boyfriend. That boy had trouble written all over him."

"Oh god, Nana, don't do that." Julia groaned. She would bet Nana would be digging out baby pictures or something next.

"Jyulia, vere you a rebel?" Kurt questioned in mock horror.

"Like you wouldn't believe!" Nana exclaimed before Julia could defend herself. The elderly woman leaned across the table conspiratorially toward Kurt, as though Julia couldn't hear every word she was saying. "I used to find her sneaking in here at two in the morning every other day. And this boy, Dylan, ugh, he was such a terrible influence on my poor Julia."

"It was just a phase!" Julia tried to intervene, though she was ignored in favor of gossip. She supposed, at the very least, Kurt and Nana had found something to talk about. Even if it was going to cost Julia her dignity.

"Terrible boy. Rode a motorcycle, smoked, drank, and was always in trouble. I swear, I thought I was going to have to force Julia to become a nun!" Kurt looked at her with a grin, clearly enjoying the fact that she was flushing. "Ah...I was really starting to wonder where I'd gone wrong in raising her. And then one day, she marches downstairs and announced that she broke up with him. Just like that!" Nana snapped her fingers for emphasis. "All that work and all those fights, and she changed her mind over night."

"I told you it was just a phase." Julia grumbled. Not to mention she had ridden along with Dylan one night when he thought it would be cool to join up with an anti-mutant rally. It had been one of the sad, sad cases of poor teenage judgment. She had figured, in her naïve sixteen year-old mind that since Dylan was such a rebel, he would be able to accept the fact she was a mutant, maybe even find it interesting. But Dylan, true to delinquent form, had only been a rebel insofar as he hadn't yet outgrown the part of his life where everything he did was to piss his parents off and cause general mayhem. He had only wanted an excuse to start a fight, and mutants had been the perfect victims. "Besides," Julia added after a moment, "-obviously my preferences lean more towards the fuzzy-elf type these days." She leaned her head over to kiss Kurt's cheek and emphasize her point.

He looked down, seeming a little embarrassed, but was smiling too. Julia was starting to think he may finally be starting to get comfortable with the idea of being in a more serious relationship with her.

Nana Hayle observed this silently, but she didn't seem in any way put off by the display of affection, so Julia chose to take it as a good sign. "So Kurt," Nana said after a moment of silence, "-where is it exactly that you're from? I only ask because of your accent."

"I grew up in Germany. Dhat's vhere my family is as vell," Kurt answered, though he seemed a bit malcontent with being the center of conversation again. He didn't mind showing off in the least, but conversations with strangers made him a little tense; Julia knew this from experience. Lots of it.

"Oh? You're so far away from home." Nana's eyes softened in sympathy. "What's your family like? I'm sure you must miss them."

"They're _wunderbar. _I vas adopted vhen I vas very young, und they are part of a traveling circus, so I vas able to put my...uniqueness to good use. I vas lucky that they vere the ones who found me."

"What about your real parents?"

Kurt shrugged. "I dhink I may have met my _mutter_ vonce or twice, but I do not know for certain. I suppose I never vill."

Julia cast him a curious glance. He had never mentioned meeting his mother to her, but she resolved to ask him about it later. Right now, she was more concerned with keeping the conversation between Kurt and Nana going, as they finally seemed to be warming up to each other.

"Hm. You two are something like kindred spirits then, are you not?"

"I guess ve're...something like that. Ja." Kurt gazed over at Julia with some expression she couldn't name.

Nana Hayle smiled at him, but with a hint slyness, as though she knew something they didn't. "Will you two be staying in town overnight?"

"I don't think so." Julia shook her head. "Professor Xavier, the headmaster at the institute where we live, and a friend of ours dropped us off on their way to California. They should be back to pick us up in an hour or so."

"An hour? How will they do that?"

"Uh...ve have jet."

"A jet?"

"Well, most of us can't fly or teleport. So we need a way to get around," Julia explained, "It's like the Fantasti-car. Only not. Anyway, we call it the Blackbird."

* * *

><p>Half an hour later, the food put away and the dishes done, the atmosphere had finally settled into something comfortable and relaxed, and Julia was now giving Kurt what Nana insisted was the 'grand tour', but really, it was more like her telling him about her childhood as they wandered the hallways of the old house.<p>

"This was my favorite room when I was growing up."

"Vhy?" Kurt questioned, walking to the other side of the green-house-like sitting room. It was nearly entirely glass panes, save for the very first few feet of it connecting to the house, and jutted out into the back garden.

"Suppose I just liked to stare at the clouds and waste the day away daydreaming."

"Vhat did you dream about?"

"Honestly? Being normal mostly." She leaned on the door jamb, watching Kurt fade in and out of the shadows cast by the trees outside. Evening was creeping over the sky, making the effect that much more prominent. Yellow-gold eyes turned to look at her, the only thing she could see as he paused, silently questioning. "I could pretend all I wanted, but I always knew I was different, and that was really all that mattered. It's all about how you feel, not so much the way things outside work."

"Ja," Was all he said, and she was unsure of what his tone of voice implied.

"Then again, I suppose it never matters for you, does it?"

"It matters to me how you see me. Und my friends. I try not to care vhat people I vill never know think, but it can be...difficult," He admitted quietly.

"You know how I see you."

"Ja," He said again, and Julia wandered towards the darkest spot of shadow, where Kurt seemed to have taken to, almost as though he was hiding from her. She reached out a hand, expecting she would have to feel him out, but she felt his hand wrap around hers, though she could only barely see it, pulling her into the dark with him, his other arm circling around her waist. She slid into his embrace easily, swaying gently with him in some slow, nearly imperceptible parody of dancing. "Have you been practicing _liebling_?"

"Maybe. If you count pretending to waltz from my bathroom to my bed as practice, sure. Suppose I practice all the time," Julia answered, admittedly a little mockingly. She had legitimately tried to practice a couple times with Kitty Pryde as her teacher, but had given it up quickly, deciding dancing would never be her thing. Unless it was with Kurt evidently. He shifted her slightly, making it more akin to actual dancing now as they spun in a slow circle.

They weaved slightly in silence for a few moments, and then Julia realized Kurt was humming quietly in her ear. She recognized the tune instantly as the one they had been dancing to at the concert. It seemed so long ago now, but she remembered the song.

"You want to know the name of that song?" Kurt stopped his humming long enough to give an affirmative. "It's called 'Moonrise'. I couldn't get it out of my head for days, so I asked Marcy about it."

Kurt gave a quiet chuckle. "Eclipse, Nightcrawler, and Moonrise. It almost seems perfect enough to be ironic, _ist es nicht_?"

"Almost," She agreed. "Hopefully we don't always have to hide in the dark though."

"Hopefully," He echoed, and his voice sounded contemplative. "Jyulia, there is somedhing I vant to ask you."

"Okay...fire away."

"About the odher night, those men you almost attacked-"

"Ah. I thought that might be why the Professor had you come along. So you could question me while I was all nostalgic, right?"

"Nein- vell, I guess, technically, yes. But I also dhought I vould ask you vhether I could come along, rather then being sent vith you. _Herr _Professor seemed to have had other ideas dhough."

"I see." Some part of her wanted to pull away, feeling as though she had been tricked, but she found herself unable. "Get it over with then. What do you want to know?"

"Vhy did you try to attack them? Ve could have gotten avay, you know ve could have."

"Is making a stand so bad? It wasn't like I was actually going to hurt them."

"But you vould have scared und threatened them. Dhat vould only give people more excuses to hate us. Ve are supposed to protect them, not use our powers on dhem."

"And so what if they turn right around and try to kill us, right? Just turn the other cheek and wait for someone to stab us in the back?" Now she did pull away, if for no other reason than she felt more comfortable staring outside as the conversation, at least on her end, grew more heated. "If you ask me that sounds like a death wish."

"Ve must protect each other," Kurt conceded, "-but ve can't forget that ve chose to be a part of de X-Men. Ve are not the Brotherhood."

"Yeah, well maybe I belong over there instead, seeing as I have so much trouble wrapping my head around this passive stance. If good human-mutant relationships come at the expense of mutant suffering, the least we could do is try to share the burden."

A look of sudden realization passed across Kurt's face, illuminated slightly now that he was facing the hallway light. "It vas...because of me?"

"Are you just now figuring that out?" Her voice dropped to a near whisper in sheer disbelief.

"I thought...I don't know vhat I thought. But I didn't dhink it vas only because they threw a bottle at me_._"

"And insulted you, implied that you were trying to kidnap me, and chased us two blocks. I want to know why _you _weren't a little pissed off." Julia rolled her eyes ever so slightly. She was beginning to wonder whether Kurt had some kind of masochistic relationship with being hated. As much as he despised the way people looked at him, he seemed so willing to stand by and endure it. She didn't understand how he could do it, she didn't understand anything about it. All she had wanted to do was make it stop, was that so terrible? "I'm not going to apologize for it. Hell, I think they would have deserved it if I had clawed them."

"Jyulia, that's not the issue," Kurt insisted. "The...the Professor dhinks you are losing control of yourself."

"He does or you do?" Julia snapped, unable to stop herself from feeling a little angry. She took a deep breath, and reigned herself back in, feeling the tingle at her fingertips that usually indicated she was transmuting; losing her will over her powers certainly wouldn't help. Her next words were calmer, and the tingle had subsided. "Maybe I'm just not cut out for this hero thing after all. I feel like rather than helping me understand, being an X-Man makes me angrier with normal people. We're always trying to help, but they turn right around and try to round us up like it's World War Two all over again. We have all these powers, but we're not even allowed to defend ourselves!"

"I know." Kurt's voice was gentle, as were his hands settling on her shoulders. "I know you're angry, Jyulia, I understand better dhan you think I do. But you have to remember that _you_ made the choice to join de team. The right choice is usually the hardest vone to make, und ve might alvays be out of place vith the normal humans, but at the very least, ve vill alvays have each other to turn to. But you must try to get your anger under control. Hurting people vill only make it that much harder for them to accept us, because then ve vill confirm dheir fears about us."

Julia's eyes drifted over her shoulder, Kurt's peering at her neutrally, his face hidden slightly in the shadows of the room. "Still, how can you not be a little angry about what they did?"

"I vas. I still am a little bit. But somebody has to stop hating in order for anything to change. If I get really upset I just go break dhings in the Danger Room."

"That's totally unhealthy you know."

"Ja, perhaps." A glint of teeth hinted at a smile. "But I haven't had to break anything in avhile. Know vhy?" She shook her head. "Because you vere attracted to me de vay I am. It made me decide dhat maybe de vay the normal people see me isn't important, because I don't have to hide from the de people who really matter."

She wasn't sure what to say. Even if she had known, Julia didn't know whether it would have made it around the lump that had formed in her throat. Kurt seemed to understand the silence, his hand stroking over her hair lightly.

"Ve just have to patient _liebling. _People vill learn, but until then, you just have accept that dhey can't understand." He paused, though his hand continued its stroking. "Ve should probably go back to de living room, Esmerelda vill think ve're getting up to no good."

"Ha. The day I manage to get up to no good with you around will be the day hell freezes over, Mr. Goody-two-shoes." She replied, grabbing the sides of his face long enough to steal a kiss before they started toward the door.

_Julia? Kurt?_

_ Professor? _Though she couldn't hear Kurt's thoughts, she supposed they must have answered in tandem, paused in the hallway in mid-step. The Professor's mental voice sounded weak and far away to Julia, like it was an echo over a great distance. _Are you alright Professor?_

_ Yes, I'm afraid it just takes much more effort than I thought it would to form a link with you with so many miles between us..._

_ In that case, just talk to Kurt. He can repeat it to me. _She supposed he must have agreed, because she heard no more from him. Julia sighed inwardly, a little annoyed that her mutation was so inconvenient at times. Even nearby, both Professor Xavier and Jean had trouble forming links with her, and as her powers had developed, it had steadily gotten more and more difficult, to the point where she was nearly totally immune to telepathy. She imagined trying to communicate with her all the way from California had felt like trying to run the distance and talk to her in person.

All the same, it was a bit of a bother to be left out of anything important.

After a few more seconds of a silent communication, Kurt glanced at her with an oddly apprehensive expression on his face.

"What's the matter?"

"Somebody got hurt at de conference. Hank vas asked to sit in on the surgery, und they von't be able to get us until morning."

"That figures," Julia huffed, crossing her arms. "Are Hank and the Professor both okay? It wasn't an attack or anything, was it?"

"I don't know. Ve didn't talk much. The Professor is trying to help calm things down." Kurt shook his head.

"Well, I'd like to go help, but neither of us can travel that far without nearly killing ourselves, so I suppose we should at least phone New York and let them know. If nothing else, Jean can use Cerebro and link up better than either of us."

"Ja."

"But that doesn't really solve our problem. We have no clothes or cash so...I guess we'll have to ask Nana to put us up for the night."

"Do you think it vill be a problem?"

"Nah. She's got like, what, ten or fifteen bedrooms? I don't think we'll take up too much space anyway."


	12. Chapter 12

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Phew. This is also a long one. And it's full of Angst, I warn you now. Basically, I just want to get all Julia's...you know, mental stuff out there in the open, so we're all on the same page. :) And there's still not much action, so please bear with me a little longer. Oh, and you may have noticed that I upped the rating to M. This is because Julia is starting to get a bit of a potty-mouth, and things that happen later. So. Other than that, please also have a look at the updated picture of Julia in my profile (The top one has been replaced). I wanted her to look more like she was made of energy when I tried to illustrate the matter-displacement thing, so it's more...lightning-like? I thought it looked cool. Anyway, read on my friends. _

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><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

There was something oddly offensive about being put in a room on the opposite end of the house from Julia. Kurt hadn't objected aloud of course, but he felt rather jilted by it all the same, after all, no one had told Mrs. Hayle they'd only decided to become a couple earlier in the day, recently sure, but Kurt still resented being treated like a teenager who had no self-control. Then again, perhaps Mrs. Hayle was still unsure of him, despite how well things had been going towards the end of dinner. He supposed if he had a daughter who had brought home a boy he had never met before, he wouldn't be all that keen on letting them sleep in the same room either.

He watched shadows dance across the ceiling as late night traffic passed by outside, thinking of what he would say to the Professor when they returned to New York tomorrow. Both of the times where Julia exhibited the violent tendencies the Professor was worried about, it seemed to have been in an effort to protect her friends, specifically, him. She had attacked to stop the telepath's torture while in Texas, and just the other night, she had intended to step between Kurt and human cruelty. But if he told the Professor this, there was no doubt in Kurt's mind he would then try to separate the two of them, and he would have none of that. He realized it was probably a little self-centered of him, and he knew he would feel guilty if he outright lied to the Professor about what had caused Julia's anger, but, especially now that the odd bond he had started to feel with her was out in the open and growing stronger, Kurt didn't want to be told he couldn't be with her. Even if it was for a good reason.

Part of him knew he was acting a fool, but he couldn't help it. Julia had begun to mean a lot to him, a lot more than he had ever imagined. Besides, he knew her, trusted her, and had faith that Julia would learn to control her lashing-out responses. Wolverine had been the same way, once upon at time, and still had a stab-first-ask-questions-later attitude about a lot of things, but if Wolverine could learn to control a violent impulse, anyone could. Except for maybe the Hulk.

Interrupting his thoughts, the door opened and Kurt raised his head curiously, finding Julia already half across the room, and then sitting on the foot of the bed.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah." She nodded, staring back out the door absently. "But this place makes me feel like I'm eight years old again. It's kinda weird, and makes it hard to sleep."

"I see." He sat up and imitated her, leaning his back against the wall. "Can I ask you something Jyulia?"

"Don't see why not." She shrugged, and seemed to be fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

"Vhy didn't you ever come back here to visit? Esmerelda seems like she vould have really liked to see you more."

In answer, Julia merely shrugged again. "I feel like I used to have a really good reason that I always told myself when I decided not to come back, or write, or call or anything. But now I feel like it was silly to worry Nana'd be angry at me."

"Vhy in the vorld vould she be angry at you?"

"For leaving. She...she wanted to adopt me, when I was fifteen. She wanted to finish raising me as her own. But I...I still just left, when I was old enough. I couldn't let her find out what I really was. I couldn't let her friends and the neighbors or anyone else know she wanted to adopt a mutant. It seemed like a smart idea at the time, but it made it so hard to trust anyone."

"I know de feeling."

"Were there any other mutants in the circus?"

"Nein. Just me."

"But I mean, it was a circus. You blended in and stuff, right?"

"Not really." Kurt shook his head. "Most of de things you see in a circus are acts, just masks und make-up. They knew vhat I vas, und most of them learned about the sticking to valls and teleporting, but I vas still just a man in a mask to everyvone outside the tent. Only a few knew dhis is vhat I actually look like." He patted the side of his face for emphasis, though he figured she must get his meaning. She glanced over at him with a frown.

"Has anyone ever told you how incredibly depressing it can be to talk to you sometimes?"

"Sorry, it vasn't my intention. It vas only the truth. Und like I've said, it really vasn't all that bad," Kurt amended quickly.

"I know, it's not you really, it's...everybody else." She waved her arm in a sweeping motion, indicating, he supposed, the rest of the world.

"They vill learn, someday. Just try to remember that by not hurting dhem, ve prove them vrong about us. So try not to stab anyone else, alright?"

"Okay, okay. I'll try not to let my anger get the better of me, I promise. But you have to admit some people at least deserve a scare once in awhile."

"Ja, vell, let's leave that to Logan."

* * *

><p>Julia woke up feeling warm and cozy, and she concluded fairly quickly that it was because Kurt made an excellent, cuddly space-heater. She wondered if sleeping together like this was going to become a habit; she certainly had no complaints, but considering it gave her an excuse to think of naughty things, she wasn't sure it was a good idea.<p>

Regardless, her face had found a nice little niche between his neck and his shoulder, and she was perfectly content not to move until Hank and The Professor arrived to pick them up. Sadly, she felt him fidget, and heard Kurt mumble something incoherent as he woke up.

"Are you avake?" He questioned softly after a few moments, and Julia felt a light touch brush the crown of her head.

"Nope."

"Ah, that's vhy you're drooling on me then."

"I do not drool."

"How vould you know? You're asleep remember?"

"And I see you woke up feeling sassy," Julia commented, raising her head and propping it on her hand. "How did you sleep?"

"Fine. Although...my tail is asleep."

"Move it?"

"You fell asleep on it. I can't."

Julia glanced down, noticing for the first time that his tail was indeed curled under her. "Oh, sorry, you could have rolled me over." She said, embarrassed, and propping herself up enough for him to pull it away.

"You vere sleeping. I didn't vant to vake you. And then I fell asleep." Kurt shrugged, twitching his tail about, presumably to get the feeling back in it.

"Sweet of you." She smiled, laying her head down against the pillow. "And if it's all the same to you, I think I'll go back to sleep."

"I'm sorry to bother you Kurt, but Julia isn't in her room-" Before Nana Hayle had finished the sentence, Kurt had vanished with a startled yelp and his signature puff of smoke, leaving Julia with an equally surprised expression due to the void of colder air left under the blanket without his body heat. "Oh. I suppose I should have knocked...I, er, did not interrupt anything, I hope? Where did he go?"

"I don't know. I think you scared him, or maybe he was embarrassed. He'll come back," Julia said, pulling herself out of bed for real this time, standing with a tall stretch and looking out the window, assuming Kurt would have teleported into the garden, seeing as it was the closest thing to familiar territory to him near the house. "And no, we weren't doing anything. We were just...chatting."

"While in bed together?"

"Er...yeah." Nana narrowed her eyes at Julia the way she had always done when she was a child up to no good. "Nana, I'm too old for you to be giving me that look."

"Ah...I suppose I forget you're not a child anymore _ni__ñ__a. _It doesn't seem like you've been gone long enough to grow up..."

"Yeah, well I guess...I'm sorry about never visiting. Or writing that much. I just had a lot to deal with at the time."

"I understand." Nana Hayle nodded wisely. She sat on the edge of the bed, while Julia continued her stretching, a habit she had picked up after a few sessions in the Danger Room, stiffness was the last thing you wanted in there. "So you and he...do you love him?"

"Uhm...love is kind of a strong word. But he's...different. And I don't mean just the fact he's blue and stuff, Kurt is just so...sweet. He's great Nana, really. But...maybe a bit skiddish."

"So I can guess. Still, I haven't seen you quite so dreamy-eyed since your first Leonardo Dicaprio movie."

"I was also twelve." She pointed out.

"Ah, don't be such a cynic _mi peque__ñ__a_, or you'll never fall in love." Nana Hayle wagged a finger at her.

"Yeah, yeah." Julia smiled and shook her head. Nana had been telling her exact same thing since Julia had been ten or eleven. Of course, she had thought she'd been in love with Dylan, and Nana hadn't exactly approved of that little fiasco. At this point though, Julia fully understood, and agreed, with Nana's opinion of him.

She finally spied Kurt outside, perched somewhat awkwardly in one of the larger trees, but she gathered from his expression he was wondering whether it was safe to come back yet. She supposed he was worried Nana Hayle thought she had caught them doing something inappropriate, and though hiding in a tree wasn't really a rational response in Julia's opinion, she was familiar with Kurt's nervousness around normal people. She waved a hand, and after a moment or two of hesitation, Kurt 'ported back into the room, startling the elderly woman.

"You get used to it, I promise," Julia said, while Kurt apologized profusely.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, after another awesome meal by Nana Hayle, Julia and Kurt got the mental call from Professor Xavier, saying that he and Hank were less than fifteen minutes away. They prepared for the trip back to the outskirts of town, Nana Hayle bustling about and trying to convince them that they would need snacks for the road, seeing as New York was such a long way away. Eventually, they gave in to her insistence, each taking a sandwich and a bottle of sugar-free juice, and gave up trying to explain that the Blackbird cut the trip in half.<p>

"Promise me you will at least write Julia, I've learned to do Emails finally, and I missed you terribly these last few years," Nana Hayle insisted, pulling her in for a hug.

"I will, don't worry," She agreed, returning the shorter woman's hug. Releasing Julia, Nana Hayle turned to Kurt, and pulled him into a hug before he could offer a handshake or something of the sort. She muttered something which Julia couldn't hear to him, before turning him loose, and waving them off as Kurt took hold of Julia's hand, teleporting them off towards the outskirts of town.

"What did she say to you?" Julia asked after the first few rooftops, unable to restrain her curiosity.

"She told me dhat I should never change."

She smiled, feeling that it must mean Nana Hayle had grown to like Kurt in their short visit. "I agree. You should never, ever change."

"Not even for you?"

"Why would I want you to?"

Kurt shook his head, but looked to the old, run-down industrial park where the Blackbird would be landing, rather than at her. "It vas only a thought."

They hadn't been waiting more than a few minutes when they felt the pressure of the concealed aircraft landing nearby, and started toward it. Hank greeted them at the ramp before returning to the front console.

"Did you have a nice visit?" The Professor questioned, and Julia could practically feel him communicating with Kurt mentally, but she tried not to let on that it was irking her they were talking behind her back.

"Yeah. It was nice," She said, albeit shortly. She turned her attention to Hank, figuring she'd just pretend not to notice Kurt and the Professor's separate conversation. "What happened at the conference? It sounded bad."

"The conference was intended to discuss treatments for mutant patients, evidently the Purifiers got wind of it. One of the members attempted to assassinate the head of the conference, a doctor who also happens to be a mutant." Julia could practically hear Hank's lip curling as he spoke.

She sat back in her seat, her arms crossed thoughtfully over her chest, and though she was unable to see it, her expression was one of pure, black anger.

For all the powers the X-Men might have between them, they would never be able to use them on the real threat, that being the normal humans who hated them just because mutants were a threat to their precious egos and their dominance of the planet.

And sooner or later, something was going to tip the scales. She wasn't sure which way they would tip, but she wasn't sure she wanted to stick around to find out either.

* * *

><p>"Is it just me, or does Jules seem a little pissed off today?" Logan's voice alerted Marcy, Ororo, Scott, and Hank that he had arrived in the control deck of the Danger Room. Truthfully, Hank had probably known he was approaching, but hadn't paid it much mind. Sometimes Logan just liked to wander and Hank knew that.<p>

"She definitely gave up the mission objective a good five minutes ago," Scott answered, clearly annoyed at the fact. This 'mission' was a simulation based on stealth, and had been intended as a practice run for Kurt and Julia, their resident stealth unit. The objective had been to sneak into the holographic fortress without being detected, but after less than five minutes, Julia had started a fight with an illusory guard, and now seemed to simply be bent on the destruction of the entire populace of mirage guards.

"Maybe her n' fuzzy-blue had a fight." Logan shrugged, leaning on the door frame. No one quite knew whether the two of them were together or not, but Logan was fairly convinced if they weren't already a couple, it was going to happen very, very soon. His senses didn't lie to him after all, and the pheromones were literally flying between the two.

"Kurt's the only one who's head she hasn't tried to rip off today." Marcy muttered, her arms crossed in a hurt huff. "She told me to leave her the hell alone when I tried to wake her up this morning. She's never cursed at me before. Well, not like that anyway, she's never meant it before."

"Perhaps it is simply...that time of the month, as you say," Ororo suggested.

"I don't care what time of the month it is, she can't just toss her responsibilities out the window whenever she feels like it. If this were real, she could have ended up getting Kurt killed by now." Scott said angrily. Though Logan wouldn't tell him so, he thought their leader, if that's what you wanted to call him, was being a little harsh. Maybe no one else had noticed, but something about Arizona had been stewing under the surface ever since Julia had returned. He wasn't sure what it was, but he had expected it to come bursting out sooner or later. This, he supposed, was where it hit its boiling point. Scott shut down the simulation with an angry jab of his finger, stalking past Wolverine and down towards the Danger Rooms main floor. Ororo started to follow as though to play referee, but Logan shook his head at her.

"Ya gotta let her deal with it 'Roro."

"Surely you don't think Scott yelling at her will help the situation," The tall African beauty responded indignantly.

"Maybe. Whatever's gotten under her skin, she's keeping it hidden, and it ain't doing her any good. If she gets it off her chest, even if it's cuz she's screamin' back at Summers, it'll be better in the long run."

"Or it might just make her feel like we're not on her side," Marcy added in, clearly fearing that particular outcome. No one wanted to ostracize a member of the team, but they all knew something was wrong with Julia and she didn't want to discuss it with any of them.

Much to Logan's surprise, Julia didn't yell back at Scott. She didn't react much at all. She stood and met him eye to eye, still in her energy-based form, her expression unreadable, and when he had finished his rant, she simply faded back to her flesh-and-bone state, turned on her heel, and left the Danger Room without so much as a word to anyone.

"Jyulia-" Kurt was naturally the first to give chase, but when even he couldn't get a side-long glance, he vanished in a puff of smoke, likely in an attempt to catch her in the hallway somewhere.

The group in the observation deck exchanged glances. Something was very, very wrong, but no one knew what to do. Logan turned on his heel and marched down the hallway.

If no one else was going to do anything, it was time for some Wolverine-style tough love.

He found the Elf standing outside Julia's door, his hand raised as though he had been knocking, but upon hearing Logan's approach, he lowered his hand again.

"She in there?"

"Ja. But she von't even talk to me..."

"Move."

"Er, Logan-"

"_Move_." Obediently, Kurt took a step away from the door, but was watching Logan with the kind of caution that told him Kurt would intervene the second he felt this went too far. There really was something going on between them, that much Logan was certain of.

Logan took a step back, then popped his claws and ripped the lock out of the door with one swift swipe.

"Logan!"

Ignoring Kurt's protest, Logan shoved the door open, Julia standing in the center of the room, meeting him glare for glare.

"What the hell was that for?" She demanded, gesturing at the door.

His claws still fully extended, Logan jabbed a finger in her face. "Yer too goddamn old to be throwing a tantrum like this, so straighten up."

"Oh, that's brilliant. Wolverine is going to tell me about tantrums. Do you have any deep breathing exercises you want to recommend too?"

"I could poke a hole in ya and see if that helps."

Julia's silver glare intensified slightly. "Fucking brilliant," Was all she she said, turning on her heel, turning her back on Logan in a way that was partially childish, partially out of sheer frustration. "Clearly you don't actually plan to help, so just go away."

"Maybe I could help if ya felt like telling someone what the hell is wrong with ya!"

"Wrong with me?" Julia whipped around again, and her hair flared too violently to just be an effect of movement. It swirled around her head like black fire, indicating her rage was hitting the point that she was neglecting to restrain her powers. "Wrong with me?" She repeated a little more forcefully, her hair almost seeming to spark, and small black spots of energy starting to sprout up along her arms. "What about what's wrong with everybody else? We get chased through the streets, we get shot at, we get threatened and rounded up like we're some kind of infectious disease, and you want to know what the hell is wrong with me? We save people day in and day out, and no one even cares! They just keep hating us. We're not making a difference, not even a little bit, but we just keep playing along with it like delusional idiots! I hate it! I don't want to do this anymore! Any of it!" By the time the final word had left her lips, Julia's transformation had finished, and her entire body was sparking and flaring, her energy-based form reflecting her internal turmoil.

"But yer still here, ain't ya?" Logan pointed out. Julia's head jerked to the side, staring out the window now. Her hair stopped flaring so violently, now seeming to flicker between solid and ghostly. Logan couldn't gather what sort of emotion that was reflecting, but he got the feeling it definitely wasn't a happy one.

"I don't belong here," She said, her voice low enough that without his over-developed hearing, Logan probably wouldn't have caught it.

Kurt, who had been standing by, unsure of what to do while Julia and Logan shouted at each other, ventured into the room now, curious at the sudden quiet.

"I don't...I don't think I belong here." Julia said quietly. "I don't know if I ever did. I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be an X-Man."

"Says who?"

"Says me! I'm not a hero, I don't know why I ever thought it would be a good idea to pretend like I am."

"Yeah, well, ya can't just change yer mind. You're an X-Man now kid, it's what ya wanted, and now you have to live with it. Takin' the X off the front of yer shirt won't change the fact that people will hate you for bein' a mutant."

Julia's hands curled into fists, and then suddenly she sprang at Logan with an angry, wordless growl, her fingers elongating into spikes. He knocked her first strike away with his own claws, figuring if this was how she wanted to deal with her anger, it was better to let her take it out on him than someone else. Numbness spread down his arms after Julia's claws made contact with his; her normal paralyzing effect only lasted two or three seconds on him as opposed to the hour or two it lasted on anyone else, his nervous system able to regenerate as fast as the rest of him. He supposed he should be grateful she couldn't phase her claws through the adamantium, he might have really been in trouble then, even if she was striking wildly. Logan had taught her to fight, he knew her style; her normal natural precision was all but lost as she took hap-hazard swipes and jabs at him. Logan never moved, just shoved her hands away when she got too close to his face.

"Jyulia! Jyulia please just stop, this isn't helping anything!" Evidently having tolerated enough of the fighting for his taste, Kurt stepped into the fray, his arm looping around Julia's waist and tugging her away from Logan, his free hand holding one of her wrists, and his tail the other, more or less preventing her from trying to fight anymore. She fought him for only a second or two, and then her head drooped, Julia looking at her feet as though she had totally given up.

"I hate this." She muttered, her voice mingling despair and hints of previous anger. "I hate not knowing what I should do..." She twisted in Kurt's hands, hiding her face against his shoulder.

Her hair flickered like a dying light bulb. Sadness, lost convictions, lost hope, lost place. Logan knew that feeling all to well. But at least Julia had her memories, at least she had friends, and she sure as hell still had the Elf on her side. Kurt's blue, three-fingered hand curled over the back of Julia's head, as though he planned to protect her from Logan.

"Logan, I dhink...I think you've made your point."

"Looks that way."

"Vould you...leave us alone for avhile?"

He nodded and turned to leave, closing the half-destroyed door. Maybe it hadn't been the healthiest way to get it out of her, but Logan knew it was only going to keep getting worse, keep eating her up inside if she kept trying to hide it. If she wanted to leave the X-Men, that was all well and good, but she couldn't pretend it would fix everything to go back to masquerading like she was a normal person. They all had their doubts, and they all worked through them. If nothing else, he didn't want to see her leave when she and the Elf were so clearly mushy for each other. It would hurt him, and bad, to have her leave him behind that way.

* * *

><p>Kurt was unsure of what to say. Logan had at least gotten through to Julia, not that he approved of the method, but he didn't know whether it was a good idea to keep pushing her. Why had she kept this to herself for so long? It honestly hurt him a little bit to know it was easier to have Logan practically rip it out of her than it would have been to just tell <em>him <em>she was having so many doubts. He had once had very similar ones himself, they could have talked about it, he could have tried to help.

But Kurt tried to remember that this wasn't about him right now, it was about her.

"Do you vant to talk about it?" She shook her head, rubbing her face slightly on his shoulder.

"I just...I need a second..."

"Okay." He took his hand away from her wrist, figuring she was calm enough now that she wasn't going lash out unexpectedly, and set it against her back instead. Her body was tense, the odd energy sparking against his palm, though he could barely feel it; both his hands and his tail had gone a little bit numb while trying to restrain Julia, his nerves slightly scrambled by her agitated powers. As though sensing it, she abruptly faded back into flesh-and-bone.

"I feel so messed up," She finally said. "I keep trying to make good decisions, but they all end up being wrong. I keep screwing up."

"Everybody does."

"You don't." Kurt chuckled in a sarcastic manner and shook his head.

"Nein. I do. You know I do."

"Like when?" She scoffed.

"Vell, look how long it took me to try and kiss you."

"That's not the same thing." She shook her head, pulling away from him slightly. "I joined the X-Men, hoping I could learn...I don't know, how to deal with how much I hated the Purifiers, instead, it just made me realize that nothing we do makes a difference. The stupid Purifiers tried to kill a doctor, a _doctor_, because he was a mutant! Even though everybody was watching, even though members of the X-Men were there. As long as we have this stupid, messed up strand of DNA we're just going to be treated like a bunch of freaks!"

"Maybe." Kurt nodded.

"And all I wanted to do was get those guys to leave you alone! I thought it was right to stop them, so why is everyone so freaking mad about it?"

"No vone is mad about it _liebling._"

"The Professor is."

"He's not, he just doesn't vant you to do something that vill end up getting you hurt," Kurt said firmly. She just sighed in response for a long moment, and when she said nothing for awhile, Kurt tried asking another question. "Did you mean vhat you said?"

"Which part?"

"The part vhere you don't feel like you belong. Do you vant to...leave?"

She tugged far enough away from him to stare up at Kurt with a lost expression in her eyes. "If I said yes, would you run away with me?"

It was Kurt's turn to sigh. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"Dhere is novhere 'normal' you could go that I can follow vithout causing trouble. I'm a mutant, und an obvious vone Jyulia. I vill always look like this, I alvays have. If you vant a normal life, then it shouldn't include me. Dhis place, the school, is the closest thing to normal I've ever had."

"Well, that's hardly fair. If I get what I want, I can't have what I want." Julia's hands clung onto the back of Kurt's uniform. "I'm just starting to wonder why I wanted to join the X-Men in the first place. It was such a stupid idea..."

"I don't think it vas," Kurt said gently. "Jyulia, if you vant to go, I von't stop you, it's alvays been your choice. But I vish...I vish you vouldn't leave."

"I don't know Kurt. You always talk about having to find our place, and I'm not so sure mine is here. I thought it might be, but things have been changing...a lot."

Kurt only nodded. He wanted Julia to be happy, truly he did, but what if that meant he would never be able to see her again? Never be able to hold her or kiss her again? At the very least, he knew they couldn't be together if she left, if only because there was no way he could really be a part of a normal life; the best he could be for her outside of these walls was a skeleton in her closet. He would never really be able to normal, and it was as simple as that; he couldn't turn off his mutation when the fight was over the way Julia could. He would always be marked.

Would he have to let her go to make her happy? Could he, considering he felt like he had only just found her? Considering he was still working up the courage to tell her how he really felt?

* * *

><p>"Are you still awake?"<p>

"Ja." After awhile, Kurt had coaxed Julia onto the couch, and spent a good portion of the remaining day sitting with her and holding her close against his chest, wondering to himself if it might be one of the last times he was able to do so. His arms around her middle tightened at the thought. Maybe he was being a little selfish, but he couldn't help it, he wanted her to stay. More than anything.

"If I left, I'd be alone, wouldn't I?"

"Ja, perhaps. But it vouldn't have to be that vay all the time..."

"I'm scared of being alone again," Julia said shortly.

"Don't be. You could alvays meet new people, und vithout me you could meet somevone who could alvays be there-"

"Whoa, back up a second." Julia twisted around in his arms, half straddling his lap with one foot on the floor and one folded under herself. "Are you implying we have to break up if I leave the X-Men?"

"I think...it vould be best," Kurt said softly. "If vhat you vant is normal, I'm the last person you vould introduce to your friends."

"I don't want normal, I'm just sick of trying to do the right thing and nothing ever changing. I'm sick of people treating mutants like freaks, and I'm sick of trying to play by rules that no one else follows."

"Jyulia, you know I vould vant to be vith you, but...vhere in the vorld could ve go vhere you could kiss me in public vithout a mob coming after us?"

"I don't know okay? I'm still working that part out," Julia sighed.

"Listen, _liebling_, I know vhat you're feeling. I really do, I've had the same questions, lots of times."

"Then how did you decide what was right?" Julia questioned, a hint of desperation in her voice

"I look at the vay things vere before the Professor found me, and I think of how much better it is now. I know it doesn't alvays seem that vay _liebling, _but do you vant to hide your powers? How vill that make you feel better? I vant to make a difference, I vant people to accept me as I am, und that means trying to help them, even vhen I don't vant to. Ve have to show people vhat ve are, vhat ve can do, and that it's for good."

Julia stared hard at a corner, and he could practically see the wheels turning in her head, though he didn't dare guess to what end. Part of Kurt knew he was right, and part of him knew he didn't always practice what he preached. Some days he got really, really angry with the normal people too. Some days he wanted nothing more than to run away, leave the X-Men and find some isolated little cabin where he could just be left alone. But he knew he would hate himself for doing that. He stood for something as an X-Man, he made a difference, even if it was only a tiny, usually under-appreciated one.

"I don't think I have quite so much conviction," Julia answered finally, shaking her head as though to clear cluttered thoughts.

"It's not something you can just decide."

She slid off the couch, walking to the window to stare out into the afternoon sky. "I...Kurt, I need some time to think."

"I understand." He stood too, and traced her steps to the window, placing his hands on her shoulders and a kiss in her hair; tangled as it was, it still felt like velvet against his lips. "Jyulia, if you do decide to go, promise you vill say goodbye."

"I will." She squeezed his hand briefly, and then was silent, very obviously indicating she wanted to be left alone for awhile. Kurt released her and 'ported to his own room, giving her the space she wanted.

They both knew she would stay if he asked her to, and to avoid that, she had asked him to leave. He didn't blame her for that though, this wasn't a choice that should be made for other people, she had to make it for her, no one else, she had to do what she wanted. And he would try to abide by whatever decision it was, even if it meant she would be leaving and he would only get to see her for brief visits when no one would see him, or maybe not at all.

Only be a shadow she had to hide from the world.

Honestly, that was probably the part that upset Kurt the most.

* * *

><p>Julia found Logan sitting on a hill not far from the school, a six-pack half-gone at his feet, and a worn-out Stetson guarding his eyes from the sun.<p>

"Hey Jules."

"Logan." She nodded, then stepped up to him, and punched him as hard as she could without breaking her own fingers on his adamantium skull. He toppled over backwards, but she suspected it was more because he had been surprised at her sudden violence than because she had hit him hard enough to do so.

"The hell-?"

"That's for ruining my door, you jerk." She plopped down in the grass next to him, stretching her legs out. "Though I understand why you did it. So thank you. I feel better now that I got all that off my chest."

"Good," Logan huffed, sitting up again and rubbing his jaw. Again, more to make a point than because he was actually hurt. "What's the verdict then?"

"Verdict?"

"Are ya staying or going?"

"Oh, that. I don't know. Neither at the moment."

"What's 'crawler think?"

"I think he wants me to stay. But I also get the feeling he thinks if he asks me to I'll hate him for it later."

"Would ya?"

"I dunno." Julia plucked up a daisy from the grass, plucking the petals from the tiny flower. "My mutation isn't precognition, how am I supposed to know how things will work out?"

"True, so how do ya know things won't change then?"

"I...ah. I see where you're going with this."

"Hey, we all have times where we dunno if we're doing the right thing. And some days we get majorly screwed over, no doubt about that. But if we don't stand fer something, who will?" Logan reached down and pulled a beer out of the remaining three and handed it to her. "Chuck isn't always right, but we're all pretty hit-and-miss when it comes to the moral high-ground. You gotta make yer own choices Jules, and ya can't expect 'em to always be good ones, ya can't make everybody happy. But you can make yerself happy, even if ya gotta take a few hits for it here and there."

"And that's your sagely advice, is it?"

"Close as yer gonna get."

"Alright then." Julia pulled the tab open on her beer taking a sip, thinking about what he had said. Both Kurt and Logan made valid points. The X-Men made a difference, there was no way to deny that, even if she didn't always agree with the methods they had to abide by. She had been the one who made the decision to join the team, did she even have a right to turn her back on it now, just because she was frustrated? And it was true that leaving would get her absolutely nowhere. She would still be angry, mutants would still be hated, and she would have less reason to fight then than she did now. She would have to hide, bury her powers back down in her subconscious where she had hidden them for years.

She didn't know if she could live that way again. Her powers had become an integral part of her being since she had let them out, since she had gained so many new abilities. She loved her powers, she loved being able to use them and not feel like a freak.

She would lose that if she left the Xavier institute. She would lose that, her chance to try and help the other mutants, she would lose her friends, and most of all, she would lose Kurt. It wasn't as though they had some deep, unbreakable bond or anything like that, but she didn't know if she could bear the thought of only having half a relationship with him, if that. Hell, he wanted to totally break it off if she left.

Julia knew one thing for certain, and that was the fact she was happier at the school than she had ever been in New York or Arizona.

"I have to go apologize to Scott for this morning."

"Alright. Don't let 'im rub it in though." Logan nodded, a corner of his mouth quirked up in a smirky smile. He knew what that meant. Julia stood, taking the beer with her, and walked towards the mansion.

She would stay. She would stay and try to change things, including herself if need be. She wanted things to be different, and that meant she couldn't sit on the sidelines, no matter how bad the game could get.

* * *

><p>"Kurt?"<p>

"You ought to knock, Jyulia. I might not have had pants on," He scolded lightly in response, while Julia finished materializing her way around the door, still wearing her uniform thankfully, so she was fully clothed.

"That wouldn't be an issue for me." She grinned slightly, almost weakly, settling into his chair. "You should be more worried about what I'd do to you if I caught you without pants." There was a silence between them, Kurt basically fearing what she might say, and Julia seeming uncomfortable. Unable to continue in the tense quiet much longer, Kurt uttered what was his worst fear at the moment.

"So dhen, is this...a goodbye?" He questioned, and suddenly felt like he might choke on the words.

"No...it's not. This is a "sorry for being completely over-dramatic and possibly annoying." I...apologized to Scott, and had a long, long talk with Professor Xavier about my attitude lately. Surprisingly, they both understood and both accepted my apology." She folded her hands in her lap, staring at them, though Kurt guessed she was mostly avoiding his gaze. "I guess I forget that having other people around who understand means I can actually talk about things that are bothering me. I just kept it inside so long that when it finally came out, I had managed to blow everything a little out of proportion. So...I'm sorry you had to deal with me in the middle of my...crisis."

"It vas no problem." Relief flooded into Kurt's system, though he was a little hesitant to get too hopeful. She still hadn't said, explicitly, that she was staying. "I just hope I...vas helpful."

"Yeah...trust me, you were." She nodded, and smiled at him in a way that seemed somehow sad. "And I want you to know, even if I did leave, I would never, ever want to stop seeing you. I would never try to hide you. I would still want to be together, even if I...I wouldn't exactly be a hero anymore. But at this point, I don't think I really know what else to do with myself."

Kurt knelt in front of her, folding her hands in his, watching her earnestly for a reflection of the doubt he felt. "You're going to stay?"

"Yeah, I am. Everything I care about is here now. So I'm going to stay, and I'm going to fight to keep it that way."

"You don't know how glad I am to hear that Jyulia. I vas afraid of losing you." The confession escaped unwittingly as Kurt raised himself up enough to release her hands and wrap her in a hug instead. He had never had to hide from Julia, and the idea that she might have wanted a life where he had to, or at least, had to be a secret, had been heartbreaking to Kurt. But now...now everything felt right with the world again.

"Don't worry, you're stuck with me."

* * *

><p>In his office on the first floor, Professor Xavier tilted his head to the side slightly, suddenly picking up on an inexplicable sense of joy, an overwhelming burst of relief, and a swell of what could almost definitely be called love. Kurt. Several floors away though he may be, Kurt was projecting the thoughts loud enough that the Professor could pick up on them passively. As gently as he could, Professor Xavier pushed Kurt's consciousness away, leaving the budding couple to their privacy.<p>

It hadn't been all that long ago that Professor Xavier had been considering somehow separating the two, feeling that their continually growing involvement with one another led them both to make rash decisions, especially on Julia's part, and would eventually lead to them endangering themselves, or worse, other members of the team. Now however, he saw what a costly mistake it would have been.

He wondered what Julia was feeling. It was most likely similar, but it was something he would probably never be able to uncover, not anymore at least. In truth, Julia was now completely immune to Jean's telepathy, and even Xavier could only pick up on fragments, traces of her here and there, never a whole thought, a whole feeling. The more in-tune Julia became with her own powers, the more she adapted to them, the more tied in with her bio-functions the negative energy became. Hank could scarcely find a spot of Julia's body you could still see in an X-Ray. Nearly all her internal processes were now governed by her mutant energy, making her not only invisible to the X-Rays, but more-or-less totally immune to telepathy as well.

It wasn't that he was incapable of trust when he couldn't read someone's mind, Julia was an established member of the team after all. And yet...

She was unpredictable. Being unable to hear her thoughts, he would never know when she was about to lash out. He would never be able to try and calm her, the way he had been forced to do a time or two with Logan. It would certainly benefit the X-Men, having one so completely immune to telepathy on their side, someone to see through illusions. An enemy telepath would never know what Julia was thinking, what she was planning, but unfortunately, neither would Xavier. It was a very taxing situation indeed.

Xavier folded his hands and contemplated the setting sun. She was still green, she lacked the discipline the other members of the team had, that was all. Even if she remained a mystery to Xavier forever, he suspected Kurt was the next best thing he had to a psychic link, they were clearly close, and seemed to be getting closer.


	13. Chapter 13

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: So, there are a few things we need to discuss. The first being: Gaze and the Glance is now officially the longest thing I have ever written. I have to thank Kurt Wagner for being so inspiring I suppose. The second: This chapter is the main reason Kurt didn't have the Image Inducer earlier on, I have had scenes planned with it since I started writing this story, and so I waited until now to include it. Third: This is another of my favorite chapters, I think you'll be able to guess why. :) Fourth: Updates may start slowing down soon. I'm not writing as fast as I was, due to a combination of school and the fact that I was recently gifted a copy of Skyrim by dear friends. Those of you who have played know what this means. Also, I'm starting to get to the point where the plot has stopped writing itself...I actually have to start planning stuff. Be patient with me, and I promise we'll get through this together. :) _

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

Julia was woken, as usual, by her alarm blaring next to her head.

"Ugh...too early..." She grumbled to herself, pulling the pillow over head for a moment, and then throwing it away to shut the alarm off, knowing the longer she put off getting up, the harder it would be to get up and go to the Danger Room again. Scott's idea of her making up for her tantrum yesterday was a run through the previous morning's mission all by her lonesome. Of course, she was also on what he called "probation." That is, she wasn't allowed on any missions until Scott and the Professor decided she had resolved her "anger problems." It could be worse she supposed, she could have assigned to be Logan's sparring partner for the next two weeks or something equally as life-threatening; or maybe they could have just asked her to leave the X-Men all together. All things considered, she figured Scott was really letting her off pretty easy.

Honestly though, she was rather surprised to find herself in her own room, as she distinctly remembered falling asleep in Kurt's. He must have brought her home -and evidently had tucked her in and turned her alarm on for her- but had been too shy to change her clothes, as she was still in uniform from the previous day.

Considering they had spent nearly an hour making out like teenagers in _Friday the 13__th_ she wasn't sure what there was to be shy about exactly, not to mention she ran around in a skin-tight costume half the time. That said, any sort of intimacy between them was a little...convoluted. Most of the time she was unclear whether Kurt was even attracted to her in "that way" as Marcy had once put it, finger-quotes and all. She didn't doubt he cared for her exactly, but she was still on the fence about what kind of relationship he wanted to pursue with her, versus what she wanted with him.

Julia washed her face and twisted her hair up with a ponytail, figuring since she was going to the Danger Room anyway, it was silly to worry about changing her clothes or showering. She then headed downstairs for some coffee and breakfast, finding, rather to her surprise, that Kurt was at the table with one of his swashbuckling novels in his hands, and two matching cups of coffee.

"Hey, I think this may be the first time I've seen you up before me."

"Ja I...I didn't sleep."

"At all?" Kurt shook his head, Julia circling the kitchen to loop her arms around his neck and set her chin on his hair. "Why?"

"Just...dhinking." He shrugged, jostling her arms slightly. "And I vanted to make you coffee for a change." He set the book aside to lift one of the mugs up for her, which she took gratefully.

"Much appreciated babe." Julia loosed a hand long enough to take a leisurely gulp of coffee before setting it down again. "What were you thinking about?"

"The Professor heard back from Tony Stark last night. About de image inducer."

"Oh? Are they finally done?"

"Nearly...but...Jyulia, vhat do you think I should l look like?"

"What?" She very nearly choked on her next sip of coffee at the sheer oddness of the question.

"Dhey asked me vhat I vanted the hologram to look like. Und I didn't know." Kurt's tone had taken a turn towards the uncertain. "Vhat do you vant me to look like?"

"Me? Uhm...well, I'd prefer you to still look like you I guess. I mean, a little bit at least. I know you won't be blue or anything, but can you still have your own face?" This was a conversation she had honestly never expected to have. She had very nearly forgotten about the whole Image Inducer idea, and now, she wasn't so sure she liked it. She was fond of Kurt's blueness, and his tail, and his pretty yellow eyes. She tried to picture him looking..."normal," but couldn't quite conjure the image. If she managed to picture Kurt without his tail, his eyes would still be yellow, and if she succeeded to imagine him not being blue, he still had his unique hands or his pointy ears and canine teeth. It seemed, at least in her mind, that his appearance was fairly strongly tied in with his appeal. "I want you to pick an appearance you would still be comfortable in, that's all. But I also want you to promise me something."

"Vhat?"

"Please, please, please don't be blonde. It's not that I don't like blondes, it's just...that would be waaay too much change for me."

"Alright. No blonde," He promised, tail wrapping around her waist and squeezing lightly in a parody of a hug.

"But anyway, it's really your choice Kurt. Just pick what you want, it's going to be your face after all. Thanks for the coffee, but I better go before Scott comes looking for me."

"Ja. Probably. Be careful."

"No tantrums today, don't worry." She leaned her head down to kiss Kurt's cheek and then headed downstairs to the Danger Room, fully prepared to have her ass whooped.

* * *

><p>Police officer Luke Gram had always thought his secret was safe. Being a mutant had never showed on his physicals, and had never interfered with his work. Probably because he didn't have a power that was all that spectacular, nothing in league with the X-Men or Magneto or anything like that anyway. Officer Gram simply possessed unusually tough skin.<p>

He had survived being shot three times, lived through a fire, and made a hell of boxer in his college days; and he hadn't a single scar to show for any of it. His mutation was entirely passive, he had never even thought he was actually mutated until the first time he had been shot; he had always thought he was just tougher than the other kids. But, fact of the matter was, you could try to slice him open with a meat cleaver and he'd hardly feel a thing. Every once in awhile, a rocky, scale-like growth would appear on his skin, especially his knuckles if he got into a particularly nasty fight, but it wasn't anything he found truly concerning, his wife Josephine knew about his little genetic quirk, and was completely accepting of it, he had earned too much respect from his fellow officers for it to be an issue in the work place, and his little boy Thomas was convinced his dad was secretly related to The Thing of the Fantastic Four.

There was nothing particularly amazing about Officer Luke Gram's powers, but that didn't make him any less of a target for those God-awful Purifier groups.

At first, they had just planned to make an example of him, to the other 'Mutie-Lovers' out there; but upon realizing that shooting Luke hadn't done anything besides knock the wind out of him and leave a hell of a bruise, the violence had taken a turn for the worse. Which was why he now found himself standing before a firing squad of Purifiers, bearing some sort of energy-based weapons that made Luke think of the Sci-fi movies his son was always watching. He wondered if he would survive a laser blast, or whatever it was those things fired; he hoped so, because the chain they had used to bind him to the door of their make-shift lock-up wasn't budging.

The weapons were charging, and Luke mentally started reciting the prayers he thought he had forgotten since he had grown up, closing his eyes. If his guts were going to get splattered along the floor, he didn't want to see it happen. All this, just because he hadn't arrested a loitering fellow mutant on the spot. His wife and son flashed through his mind when he heard the weapons discharge.

Strange thing was, he was never hit. Hesitantly, Luke cracked an eye open, then the other, and his mouth dropped open slightly. A pair of women stood before him, one looking like a walking shadow that had taken human form, and the other had the craziest looking armor encasing her upper half, which trailed down into a spiked, scorpion-like tail. He had seen them both on TV. X-Men. Or X-Women. He was never sure what the female members of the team would prefer to be known by.

"Scarab, try to get him out of here. I'll deal with these guys." The shadow spoke to the armored one in a voice that was surprisingly human, while jutting a thumb at the Purifiers. He had honestly expected her voice to have some sort of magical ethereal quality to it, but she sounded perfectly normal. As he watched, her fingers elongated into five-inch spikes that sparked in a rather intimidating fashion with black energy.

"Don't hurt them." The smaller woman with the armor warned, even as she turned and snapped the chain away from Luke's wrists with a simple twist of her own. Clearly the armored girl was just as dangerous if she needed to be. "Just incapacitate."

"Okay, okay. I'll go for the legs, I promise." Luke blinked, and in that nanosecond, the darkly sparking woman had vanished from where she had been, dissolving and re-materializing at the other side of the Purifiers who had been about to shoot him. Even as Scarab, or so he guessed by Shadow's reference to the smaller woman, began to lead him away and up the stairs to the main floor of the station, he could hear the screams of the Purifiers.

"Is she-"

"Eclipse will take care of them, don't worry. But we need to get you to safety." As she spoke, her tail lashed over her shoulder, knocking away a Purifier who had apparently escaped Eclipse's assault.

"She's not killing them, is she?"

"Oh, no, not to worry. She's only stunning them, we're the good guys." The little brunette smiled at him, and then cast a glance over her shoulder, looking worried for a moment. "On second thought, I guess I was told not to leave her alone with the Purifiers. She might get carried away again."

Suddenly, Luke found himself glad that he hadn't developed an ability like these two women. Lord knew he wouldn't want to have enough power to kill a man, he had enough qualms with people shooting at each other; throw mutant powers into the mix and it was a whole new ballgame. Some mutants could level whole cities or play God they were so powerful.

Luke was perfectly content to work on the smaller scale of justice as a police officer.

* * *

><p>Exhausted, all her mutant energy spent on multiple matter transports as she had cleared the Purifiers out, Eclipse sat down on the curb with with a heavy sigh. Her muscles ached enough that she groaned a little, a sure sign she had pushed herself a little too far. Transports were easy when she had energy around to absorb, but the single blast she had absorbed from the make-shift firing squad hadn't lasted long, and she had expended quite a bit of energy moving around the building as much as she had. She hadn't really gotten much from scrambling the nerves in their legs either, seeing as none of the Purifiers, obviously, had possessed any sort of energy powers she could feed off of. Coffee. She needed coffee, and food, and then maybe a nap. Caffeine, sleep, and carbs were the next best substitute for concussive blasts of bio-energy, lasers, electricity, or psionic power...the list went on. Either way, she hadn't been able to absorb anything to fuel her powers, and had been made to rely on her own internal supply of energy, which got quite tiring quite quickly. She crossed her arms over her knees and laid her head on them, her hair falling over her head like a mop.<p>

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Fine Hank. Just worn out. Do you think we can get some Starbucks or something before we head back to campus? I could really use the caffeine, I feel like I might pass out."

"Well, seeing as your quick work of the Purifiers did cut about a half-an-hour off the schedule, I suppose we have time for a leisurely latte," Beast quipped.

"Excellent." The blue-and-yellow clad mutant pulled herself off the curb again, and after gathering Scarab, the three headed off to the nearest Starbucks, getting stares from all directions; though it didn't occur to any of them to mind much. Besides, they got the Starbucks almost entirely to themselves when they showed up in-costume.

"So, I've been wanting to ask..." Marcy began slowly, while Julia was very intent on smearing cream cheese on her bagel.

"Ask about what?" She glanced up, Hank returning from the counter at that moment with three varied cups of coffee. Latte for Hank, white mocha for Marcy, and triple-shot cafe au lait for Julia. She was _really_ desperate for caffeine. "Thank you, Hank."

"You and Kurt."

"Okay. What about us?"

"Well...it's just...are you guys...things have just seemed really...distant. That's all. We all kind of noticed, but no one wanted to say anything..."

"Oh," Was all Julia had to say for a moment, sipping at her coffee.

"Are you guys even together at all? I mean, that's what the rumors are anyway..."

"It's a little more...blurry than that." Julia shrugged. "But I'm not fighting with Kurt or anything, I'm trying not to anyway."

"But there's something bothering you that you're not speaking up about," Hank interjected. "He spent an hour in my lab asking me if I knew what was wrong."

"Did he...? Uhm...see, the thing is, it's the whole...Image Inducer thing." Julia confessed, sipping her coffee again. For obvious reasons, she hadn't wanted to tell Kurt about her apprehensions about the Inducer, but she had been desperate to tell someone and get a second opinion. Marcy and Hank asking had apparently opened the cathartic gates, because her concerns abruptly began to spill into the conversation. "I mean, obviously I want whatever's best, I want Kurt to do what he wants to do. But the whole idea is a little...weird to me. I think part of me is afraid he'll use it all the time, and I'll never get to see his real face again. It's just...I mean, Hank, you're out here in the open, and you seem pretty comfortable."

"Let's not forget I'm also a world-renowned scientist and doctor. Also, I look a little less like...er..."

"The Devil?" Julia filled in bluntly.

"Unfortunately, yes, that is also a factor. Kurt and I may have a lot in common in terms of physical appearance, but the circumstances are very, very different. And I do still wear a large hat and coat when I feel it prudent."

"And see, I'm trying to understand that, I really am. I can handle the whole disguise thing, I don't like it, but I get it. But this thing, it's going to give him a whole different face, it'll be like talking to a total stranger. And...and I just like him blue okay? I like Kurt the way he is just fine, but I won't tell him not to use it just because it makes me a little uncomfortable. That's totally unfair of me. I mean, I'm not the one who has to deal with threats every time I leave the school grounds. It just makes me feel...weird, like maybe I somehow gave Kurt the impression I want him to be somebody else, but if it's what he wants...you see what I mean? I'm really uncertain about this whole thing, I don't know how I feel about it at all."

"Well..." Marcy began quietly, staring at her coffee as she spoke, "-I agree with you that if using the Image Inducer is really what he wants, then you should let him. But I also understand how uncomfortable that would probably make you, seeing as he'd look like someone else whenever he uses it. But I don't think you're the reason he's doing this Julia, at least, not entirely. I think he's always fancied looking human."

Julia nodded, but internally was still mulling it over. Even if she wasn't the cause, the idea still made her feel uneasy. The Image Inducer, however clever it might be, was still just a more advanced version of hiding, and she certainly didn't want Kurt to hide from her. Not ever. She really was worried that he would somehow fall in love with looking 'normal' and would always be hiding behind a hologram, that she was never going to get to see the real Kurt, the one she knew, and, more-or-less, loved. She had been attracted to Kurt the way he was, she didn't want him to change, even if it was only on the outside and temporary. That said, she had also found herself indulging in the idea of being able to walk down the street holding Kurt's hand and not have to deal with insults, threats, or violence; though she honestly wasn't sure how selfish a wish it was.

She wanted Kurt to make the decision for himself, but she also didn't want him to think that she wanted him any way but blue. Julia rested her chin in her hand, looking out the window and thinking. Should she tell him that? Or would he take it to mean that she didn't want him to have the Image Inducer at all? It was so complicated...

She knew that Marcy was probably right, it had always been one of Kurt's fondest dreams to be able to leave the mansion and have nobody stare at him, nobody be afraid of him. She was only concerned that he would think he couldn't be accepted unless he was behind the hologram; even by her.

Realistically, all of this internal debate was probably why she had been avoiding him since yesterday when the Image Inducer had come up. She didn't want to influence his decision, because she was never certain whether it was for herself or in his best interest. She would never be able to tell whether she was helping him make the right decision or not; so perhaps it was better if he made it without her and she tried to cope with it in the aftermath.

Or maybe not. She had no freaking idea.

* * *

><p>Julia could honestly say her favorite thing about the School was the seemingly inexhaustible supply of hot water. She had always loved hot showers, but most of the apartments she had lived in the last few years had either had a very limited supply of hot water, or plumbing so shoddy showers could only last five or so minutes before a pipe exploded somewhere. But ever since she had arrived at Xavier's she had definitely been taking advantage of the fully-functional water heaters.<p>

Julia shut the water off at the twenty-minute mark, feeling she was probably over-indulging herself and knowing her skin would get pretty lizard-like if she stayed in much longer, and yanked her favorite fluffy towel from the rack. Not surprisingly, she had spent most of her shower thinking about Kurt, and various related things. The Image Inducer was still niggling in the back of her brain, and she was still uncertain how she wanted to handle the issue. Not only that, but rumors had now started spreading that she and Kurt had broken up -due to the fact no one had seen them speak in the last couple days- though they had never really aired the fact they were in a relationship in the first place.

Julia, for her part, simply didn't feel the need to broadcast her personal life to anybody, even Marcy. Though they had discussed it a little she didn't go around bragging and sharing all the juicy details, if there were any. She just didn't feel comfortable parading it around, though she guessed Marcy, Hank, and probably Logan knew they were more than friends at this point. Kurt, on the other hand, seemed to want to keep it a secret, though she couldn't guess the reason; when she asked he had only changed the subject.

Taking the towel to her hair, Julia continued to ponder the subject. They had been friends for a quite awhile, and pretty close friends too. Would it really seem so strange that they opted to take it a step further? Maybe they weren't supposed to have inter-team relationships in the X-Men? But then, Jean and Scott and Marcy and Hank were fairly well-established couples, so why not add Kurt and Julia to the list? Or was that even the issue? Maybe Kurt was just a private person when it came to romance. Seeing as they didn't discuss the matter, she didn't really know.

She wrapped the towel around her torso, and stepped out of the bathroom into her half-lit bedroom, the reading lamp the only one she had left on. It was odd to think that this little guest room had so quickly become home. So much so, that she had actually declined to leave it for a bigger room closer to the rest of the team. She had just gotten rather attached to it. Julia pulled open her dresser drawer for a pair of panties, but upon getting a leg through them, she heard the distinctive balloon popping sound behind her, and her nose picked up a tinge of sulfur.

"What happened to knocking on a lady's door?"

"_Ach!_" Was the only response she got for a moment, added to by a shuffle and a slight thud, followed by "_Verdammt_!" which she gathered it was a swear word in German, and she guessed that he had attempted to spin around and had managed to hit something. She finished with the underwear business, then turned around and found her assessment had been fairly accurate. Kurt stood by the bed, rubbing the knee which appeared to have had a slight collision with the bedpost. "_Es tut mir leid, _I vill leave-"

"My uniform leaves less to the imagination than the towel does Kurt," Julia chided, smiling slightly despite herself, and sitting on the foot of the bed near him. "I don't mind."

Golden eyes darted in her direction, but quickly returned to the floor, whether out of politeness or shyness, she wasn't sure. Probably both. "I really am sorry-" He started again, but Julia shook her head.

"I don't mind," She repeated, though he still kept his eyes averted. Something about the fact he wouldn't look at her hurt Julia a little. She glanced at her hands folded in her lap, feeling suddenly incredibly awkward. "Kurt, are you attracted to me?"

"Vhat? Of course I am. Jyulia, you're very, very beautiful-" He seemed somewhat aghast, as though not believing she had needed to ask such a thing.

"That's not what I mean. I mean, do you...want me?"

"I...uhm..." He was looking at something on the other side of the room. "I...I do. More dhan I think I can put into vords. But..." He trailed off, still staring very hard at whatever he was using as an excuse not to make eye-contact.

"But...?" She prompted.

"I don't vant you to feel...veird," He finally confessed, twisting his hands together. "It vould not be the same vith me as it vould be vith...someone normal."

Julia's heart twisted in the most painful way possible. Of course, that's what it came down to. Kurt thinking he was abnormal. Thinking even though she kissed him, hugged him, slept beside him, that there was still something about him she couldn't like. Some part of him was still hesitant to believe that she could feel the way she did.

With a rush of boldness, Julia stood and tugged the towel off her torso, tossing it intentionally onto the bed where Kurt wouldn't miss it. She saw his eyes widen, and his tail suddenly began it's nervous habit, thrashing around in an extremely agitated fashion. Julia took a step towards Kurt, and though he held perfectly still, she guessed his first instinct would still be to bolt if she gave him a chance. She touched his shoulder lightly, and felt him tense.

"Kurt."

"Er...yes...?"

"I want you to kiss me."

"You should really put somedhing on-"

"I want you to kiss me." This time, she placed a hand on the side of his face and turned his mouth towards hers, swallowing whatever had been on the tip of his tongue. For a moment, they both stood stark still, barely breathing, their lips only gently touching. She had promised she wouldn't force him into anything, so she was trying her hardest to let him make the next move. After several seconds passed in this same position however, she began to wonder if he would react at all, and she should just swallow her pride on the matter. But as she began to debate pulling away, Kurt's hands suddenly flattened on her back, and he bent his head to angle his mouth more to hers and Julia loved every toe-curling second of it.

"I'm going to end up taking advantage of you _liebling._" He muttered a moment later when they were forced to breathe, holding her face in his hands now, kissing her forehead and nose in between words.

"It's kind of hard to take advantage of me when I'm throwing myself at you." He chuckled in response, his lips moving to her jawline, then slowly, almost shyly, a little lower to her neck. Julia practically wanted to throw her hands up and cheer.

Finally, _finally _the barriers were starting to go down. Though he fairly often let her have her way and crawl into bed with him and would usually go along with some fairly naughty kisses, Kurt very rarely made any sort of advance on her; this was a note-worthy occasion, even if she had still needed to initiate it, and it had been horribly lacking in tact. His hands slid down her shoulders almost timidly, trailing down her sides until they settled at her hips, and then Kurt seemed to suddenly get caught up in staring at her.

"What are you looking at?" She questioned after a moment, setting her hands over his.

"You." He kissed her chin, her neck again, tangled his fingers around hers and brought the back of her hand to his lips. And while Kurt's hands were perfectly polite, his tail was apparently having other ideas, as it was currently coiling around Julia's waist, the point sliding under the elastic of her panties just enough for her to notice.

"Is that intentional?" She questioned, eyes darting down.

"Er...vill it be vorse if I say yes or no?"

"That depends."

"On...?"

"On how much attention the rest of you is going to pay to me."

Kurt gave another low chuckle, and cupped his hand at the back of her head. "All of it." Her head dipped back to accept his kiss, tongues playing a teasing little game of tag, though hers was significantly more cautious. She had learned, very quickly, that skewering her tongue on his fangs was not entirely sexy, and getting blood in her boyfriend's mouth tended to be more awkward than erotic. Still, practice made perfect.

They progressed now from standing awkwardly in the middle of the floor to Kurt sitting on the edge of the bed, Julia across his lap, and still totally engrossed in kissing one another. Julia loved being held by Kurt; it made her feel like he thought she was the most precious thing on the planet, she felt cherished and protected and...well, loved. However, as much as she felt safe and secure with Kurt, knowing he would never push her, she wouldn't be above a little physical gratification either. Emotionally, she was probably the happiest she had ever been, physically, she was one hundred percent frustrated, bordering on desperate.

As such, she made her intentions perfectly clear, she wriggled just the tiniest bit closer to Kurt, straddling his hips, and taking his hand by the wrist, transplanted it from her hips to her chest, dead-center on her left breast. Time and what had moments ago been passion screeched to a halt as Kurt completely froze. Worried that she had gone too far, Julia released his hand and pulled away slightly, his hand and mouth sliding away from her.

"Sorry, I only...uhm...too much? I'll just-"

"Nein." He interrupted her, watching her face intently, as though looking for some tell-tale sign in her expression. She stared back, confused as to what he had been saying 'no' too. "If you are sure...if you know dhis is vhat you vant. If I'm vhat you vant..." She grabbed his hand by the wrist again, essentially forcing him to cup the swell of her breast.

"You say that like I give you mixed signals," Julia answered, rolling her eyes and leaning into his palm. "Just let me love you, Kurt. Would you do that?"

"I...ja." Apparently unable to communicate what he was trying to say in words, Kurt kissed her again, and it was all the yes either of them had needed to hear.

Love. She had said love. And somehow, she was fairly certain she had meant it too, and not just the immediate implications. She wasn't sure she had ever meant it before. Of course, she had never pictured herself wanting so desperately to make love to a man with a tail and blue fur before either.

His other hand joined in exploring her, fingers skimming around her bare back, her legs, her stomach, and ever so delicately over her breasts; while her fingers were attempting to find the hem of his shirt.

There was a knock which they both deliberately ignored, and Kurt's shirt flew over Julia's shoulder onto the floor. She had never realized how intensely sexy fur on bare skin was until that moment as she leaned into him to push him back on her bed. She supposed he was right then, it wasn't really the same as it had been with past boyfriends. It was so, so much better. Exciting. And the tail really was quite a unique feature, that was probably going to get _real _interesting.

The knock sounded again.

"Julia? Fenris is threatening to blow up the Wakandan embassy, we need you!" Scott called through the door.

"Dammit!" Julia hissed vehemently through her teeth, pushing herself up on her elbows only far enough to shout back to the door: "Do you really need me?"

"Julia," Ororo's voice sounded through the door now, "-you have the best chance against their powers. We must go now!"

"I...fine, okay, I need a couple minutes. I'm kinda naked." She sighed and dropped her head down onto Kurt's chest until she heard them walk away. "Goddamn it all," She muttered, "-what's a girl got to do to get laid around here?"

"Save the Wakandan embassy," Kurt answered, obviously quite pleased with his little joke.

"Jerk." She propped herself up on her elbows again, finding herself smiling anyway. "You just hold all these sexy thoughts until I get back, okay?"

"I von't be able to think of a single other dhing," Kurt promised solemnly.

"Good." She sat up, trailing a finger down the center of his chest. "I'm going to hold you to that. I'll see you soon." She leaned down to kiss him, but knew better than to trust herself with anything more than a quick, chaste peck.

* * *

><p>After she had gone, clad in uniform, Kurt realized suddenly that he had never shown her the image inducer, which had been the whole reason he had been too excited to bother to knock on her door. Not that he was arguing with the consequences of course.<p>

He supposed it would be just as nice a surprise when she returned from the embassy.

* * *

><p><em>Second A.N: So, sorry about that somewhat awkward little tid-bit from "Luke Gram's" point of view. I was getting entirely too frustrated with trying to write that scene from the usual character's perspectives, experimented, and ended up with that. Which I actually kind of liked, so that's what you get. :) It's a one time only thing though. <em>


	14. Chapter 14

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Well, here we are again boys and girls. In complete and total honesty, this chapter didn't really come out the way I wanted it to. I wouldn't say I'm disappointed, just that I'm a little...unimpressed. This is what happens when you let something float in your head to__o long; you forget how you wanted it to go by the time you write it down, and it's never as good. I've had a couple of these scenes in my head since the very beginning. Anyway. As a side note, Julia was at one point going to possess the ability to fly. In the end, I liked the matter displacement idea better, and went with that instead. Plus, I feel like too many people have the ability to fly without any adequate explanation (Like Kole or Shadow Lass from DC. Do either of them have any sort of logic behind their flying?), and since I didn't have one either, I felt like I was being a little hypocritical. Carry on. :)_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

Fenris, despite the singular name, was actually two people, the neo-Nazi twins Andrea and Andreas, who formed a single mutant ability. When they were touching they generated energy, and a lot of it. Enough to fly, disintegrate or crush a person, or destroy an entire building which happened to house the embassy of the Black Panther's native country. Naturally then, the best person to pit against them would be Eclipse. She could get close enough to separate them without running the risk of being disintegrated, which was all well and good, but she had to get to the roof of the building first, and the first thing Fenris had hit was the elevators, decommissioning most of them. The stairs would take too long, and her matter displacement was all well and good, but by the time she made enough jumps to cover the forty stories needed to get to Fenris, she would likely be so worn out she couldn't do much of anything, let alone fight them.

Realistically, Ms. Marvel probably would have been a better choice to handle Fenris, seeing as she could fly under her own power, but the Avengers were currently dealing with their own terrorist issue in Tokyo, and rather than divide their forces, they had opted to let the mutants handle their own, which meant the X-Men had been called in.

Rogue and Storm, luckily, were able to fly, but of course this meant Eclipse was going to have to rely on them being able to get close enough to the roof to, essentially, throw her at the building and hope she at least got close enough to displace herself onto the roof if she couldn't land normally. Not that she didn't trust her teammates, but it was a pretty big risk, for all of them. If Fenris hit whoever was carrying Julia, and she was unable to absorb the energy fast enough to nullify the impact, they could both fall to their deaths. While Eclipse's energy absorb did work on kinetic energy or impact, it was the most difficult thing for her own negative energy to metabolize, seeing as it was rarely projected and her powers had little to no effect on physical matter. Bullets were easy to stop, because they were small and and only had a split-second of kinetic impact, but something like falling forty stories would still most likely kill her. She could absorb maybe a second or two of the impact, but she obviously couldn't absorb the ground she would hit after that. She'd break apart just like flesh-and-bone bodies did when she finally collided.

Breaking down and displacing herself might be a life-saver, but it wasn't really something she would like to experiment with, least of all under the current circumstances.

"Ready fer this sugah?" Rogue asked, stepping up behind Eclipse, who had been standing near the police barricade, mentally preparing for an interesting trip. And also wondering how in the world Fenris had managed to get out of jail. Again. Probably some idiot that had let them touch during visiting hours or something. "Storm's gonna whip up some fog ta give us a l'il cover, and maybe throw a lightnin' bolt or two to keep 'em off our backs."

"Sounds good." Eclipse nodded, though she was still unsure. She trusted Rogue and Storm, but there were a whole lot of things that could go wrong with this plan. A crack of thunder was heard overhead, both Rogue and Eclipse looked up to see their compatriot soaring into the sky, the better to guide the weather where she wanted it to go. "That's our cue."

"You betcha." Rogue took a hold of Eclipse around the waist, and rocketed off the ground fast enough that Eclipse thought she might have felt her ears pop. The pair zipped into the sudden cloud of thick fog swirling around the top of the embassy building, and as Eclipse started to feel the buzzing remnants of bio-energy that indicated they were near the twins, shifted into her energy form.

"Better throw me," She called to Rogue over the wind and thunder, "-they're going to start shooting soon!"

On cue, a bright beam of energy whizzed passed the two heroines, almost brighter than the lightning Storm hurled in response, trying to draw their fire and give Rogue and Eclipse more time. Rogue complied with her plan, and dropped Eclipse so that she was holding her by the arms, spun twice to build enough power, and then let her go.

She sailed through the air, the distance between the roof and her own position seeming impossibly far given her current predicament. Her stomach was doing Olympic gymnast status flips, and she wasn't entirely sure her heart was beating. Come to think of it, she wasn't actually certain she had a physical heart or stomach in this form. Ten feet, five feet, and then she hit the roof and rolled slightly from the impact, though it hurt her a lot less than it probably would have hurt someone without her ability.

The fog faded slightly as Storm and Rogue backed off, their work done unless Eclipse called for help, and she met the twins that formed Fenris face to face for the first, and hopefully last, time. They didn't speak, which was pretty none-standard as far as villains went, and instead each half of Fenris raised a hand, firing off slightly different but still similar bursts of energy. She threw herself to the right, displacing a few extra feet. She had always been limited to one energy pattern at a time, so it was better to avoid tandem shots like that one; then again, seeing as they shared their power, their patterns would likely be very similar, if not the same. Again however, it wasn't really something she wanted to experiment with at the drop of a hat without some kind of safety precaution.

"Fast..." She heard one of the twins, Andreas she supposed, comment, though he didn't seem particularly impressed. They were lifting off the ground, and she knew she was going to have a way better shot if they stayed on the ground than if she let them get airborne. Eclipse loosed the claws of one hand, and dissolved her solid form, re-materializing nearer to Andreas in the blink of an eye, solidifying as quickly as she could and driving her elbow into his middle, knocking him away from Andrea before they could fire another blast at her. She pinned him with a knee as he hit the floor, and stabbed out with her clawed hand, the charged points phasing through his forehead.

Most of her teammates still didn't approve of her tactic of going straight for the head, but Eclipse personally thought the faster a fight was over, the better chance there was of keeping casualties to a minimum. Besides, it wasn't like it killed anyone, just so long as she removed her claws before she did any serious damage to the nervous system or brain, they were only ever comatose for a time, never permanently hurt.

She heard Andrea's scream of rage behind her, but before she could turn to deal with the other half of Fenris, the other woman had slammed into her hard enough to knock her forward a few feet. Eclipse stood, prepared to fight, but Andrea seemed more occupied with her twin.

"You killed him!" The blonde woman screamed at her, and legitimately seemed to be in a state of despair. Oddly, Eclipse felt a slight twinge of regret; she had never considered how that would look to other people, who didn't know the limits of her powers. She wasn't a murderer and she found herself uncomfortable with being one, even if only in the eyes of one of the worst villains out there.

She shook her head to Andrea's accusation. "He's alive. Only comatose."

"You're lying!"

"See for yourself!" Eclipse snapped back, quickly frustrated with being yelled at and accused by a terrorist. "Besides, who are you talk, you were going to try and kill everyone in this building for no reason other than the fact they don't have your pretty blonde hair and blue eyes."

Andrea screamed back at her without words and raised her hand, firing off powerful blasts of her disintegrating energy. He may be unconscious, but she was clearly still able to feed off her twin's energy, just as easily as Eclipse could feed off hers. Each bolt of energy Andrea fired dissipated and vanished the moment it came near Eclipse's form, the X-Man striding toward her as though the bolts of power were little more than a pleasant breeze. She charged her claws again and swiped them through Andrea's head the same as she had her brother, holding on just long enough to shut her mind down. Once she was down, Eclipse hooked her hands under the other woman's arms and dragged her far enough away from her twin that there was no risk of them accidentally touching and generating a blast.

Storm landed on the roof at Eclipse's left, Rogue settling on her other side. The trio observed the twins, each with their own thoughts and feelings on the situation.

Eclipse was the first to break the silence. "You know they're totally going to neglect the fact that the X-Men saved the embassy in the news tonight, but everyone will hear about the deadly mutants that attacked it."

"Yeah. Them's the breaks though sugah." Rogue shrugged.

"And as long as the Wakandan King does not think we attacked it, we will not be prosecuted," Storm added.

"Hopefully he's the understanding kind of guy. And hopefully he wasn't too attached to his elevators, because we didn't manage to save those." Eclipse set her hands on her hips, her energy form fizzling out to her normal state. "Can we go home now?"

"Yer sure in a hurry," Rogue observed, raising an inquisitive eyebrow. "What you got waitin' for ya back home?"

"Er...nothing." Eclipse shrugged, but still turned away from Rogue slightly, in case she had a guilty little flush creeping into her cheeks. "I'm just kinda...tired today is all. If you guys had something you wanted to do I don't mind going along, just don't expect me to be much fun." She smiled, though she felt it might be a little thin. Could she help being a little impatient? She had been pulled away at a very inconvenient moment.

"Nah, Cyke'll throw a fit if we ain't back by our "curfew". I swear, sometimes I feel like he's more a Daddy than my own ever was."

"Sounds about right," Eclipse agreed with a snort of laughter. Respect on the battlefield was one thing, but sometimes Cyclops liked to try and take his fearless leader status a little to seriously.

"If we're agreed, perhaps we should return to Salem Center then," Storm interjected.

"Alright." Rogue sighed, though it was evident she had been hoping Storm would let her run around and have some fun while they were out. Eclipse made a mental note to take her out shopping soon to make up for her own selfish reasons for wanting to get home quickly. Rogue took her up around the middle again, and Andreas under the other arm while Storm handled Andrea on their way down. Eclipse felt it might look a little undignified, but she supposed she didn't really have a choice, she hadn't been lucky enough to develop an ability to fly.

Fenris was handed over to the proper authorities, and though they didn't exactly get a thank you, Eclipse was relieved to see that no one was going to try and arrest the small crew of X-Men, like they usually did. Apparently the King of Wakanda, who had witnessed the whole thing, had intervened on the mutant's behalf and essentially told the MRD not to come within two-hundred feet of the embassy. So, their job taken care of, the three ladies returned to the Blackbird and the X-Mansion.

* * *

><p>The room was empty.<p>

A single glance around told Julia that much. It appeared Kurt had chickened out on her. Not that she planned to let that stop her of course, she knew where he slept after all. She turned back to her doorway, and suddenly met a completely unfamiliar face, dark brown eyes and black hair that didn't ring any bells.

Her initial reaction, obviously, was to scream. But after the first few seconds of being horridly startled, her body kicked into a fight response to a stranger approaching her bedroom. She decked him as hard as she could, which was pretty damn hard, considering she trained with Wolverine. He went to the floor in seconds, groaning, and Julia froze in place. She recognized the voice, and the instant her fist had made contact with his face, the image had faded long enough that she had caught a flash of blue fur.

"Oh Jesus! Kurt?" She dropped to her knees next to his crumpled form in the doorway. "What the hell...I...what the _shit _just happened?" Her words tumbled out, only half of them arranging themselves into actual sentences. Kurt reached to an unfamiliar watch on his left wrist and hit a button, the hologram that had scared the hell out of her fading so that he was himself again.

"I dhought it vould be a nice surprise," Kurt managed around a lip already beginning to swell. "I had no idea you hit dhat hard Jyulia."

"A nice surprise? What part of a total stranger showing up in my bedroom seemed like a nice surprise? I thought you were a rapist or something! Oh man...I'm so, so sorry..." She reached out, thinking to wipe the blood away, and realized only after that she didn't have anything to wipe it with, besides her bare hands which wasn't exactly sanitary. Instead, she stood and helf her hand out, offering him help in getting off the floor.

"It's alright. Vhen you say it that vay it really doesn't seem like it vas a good idea." He shrugged, accepting Julia's hand to pull himself to his feet.

"We need to get ice for your lip," She said, taking his jaw in her hand and turning his head slightly. His lower lip was already swollen pretty bad, and had split in the worst of the swelling, a tiny trail of blood running down his chin.

"Ja." He agreed simply, before teleporting them both to the kitchen.

"Sometimes I forget how convenient that is," She observed, releasing him to turn to the freezer and removing the ice tray. "I really am sorry about hitting you, but...well, a warning would have been nice."

"I know. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I vas just really excited." Though his tone indicated the irony of the incident wasn't lost on him. She had been more scared of him looking human than she would have been if he had been blue.

"I can understand that." She wrapped a couple ice-cubes in a paper towel and sat on the table, beckoning Kurt close enough to set the ice against his lip, though she felt her tone may have been a little less than excited. "Alright, well, let's see it. I promise I won't hit you this time." She smiled -she hoped- encouragingly. He smiled back, despite the swollen lip, and nodded, apparently happy that she wasn't entirely freaked out.

Kurt took the ice from her hand and set it aside, then reached to his wrist and hit the button again, the image of the brown-eyed fellow flickering on again. Though Julia was more prepared for it this time, it was still rather stunning to have Kurt suddenly become another person, someone she had never seen before. Generally speaking, he still had the same features, his mouth was still the same shape, he still had the same nose; over-all his face was still more or less the same, but wasn't really...his. He had probably modeled the appearance after one of his movie heroes, as the hologram was quite handsome, and seemed somewhat familiar; besides looking something like Kurt.

"You are staring...?" Kurt observed hesitantly.

"Yeah. It's just...sorry, this is really, really weird." Julia shook her head, raising a hand to brush his cheek, but as her fingers made contact, the image warped, and then vanished entirely, revealing half of his natural face.

"Vhat is vrong?" He questioned, and she supposed her surprise must have shown on her face.

"Uhm...Kurt, I think I may have broken it. It's not working on this half of your face." She pulled her hand away, and the image flickered back again. A second test provided the same results, when she touched him, the image disappeared. "Here, look." She set her hand over the holographic one, and as it had with the face, the false image warped and then disappeared, leaving his real hand in full-view.

Kurt's expression, or at least the expression of the hologram, was aghast. "Dhat did not happen vhen anyvone else touched it...maybe it is broken."

"You think Hank will be able to fix it?"

"I hope so..."

She also hoped, at least for Kurt's sake, that it was just an easy-to-fix bug.

* * *

><p>"Well, near as I can tell, there's nothing wrong with the Inducer." Hank hadn't really been too happy about being pulled away from whatever experiment he had been running, but after seeing the state of Kurt's lip, seemed to decide it would be worth his while to sort the problem out.<p>

"But why isn't working? At least, not if I get too close anyway," Julia questioned.

"I'd say that's obvious."

"I don't follow." Kurt shook his head.

"The cause seems to be your powers Julia. You do absorb any and all forms of projected energy after all, and what's a hologram but strongly projected light? Even in your human form you still possess many of the qualities of your pure energy state, and I suspect you are passively absorbing the projection, which is why it can't function when you touch him."

"Hmph. Well, that figures." Julia said, setting her hands on her hips. So much for finally being able to hold Kurt's hand in public, now she wouldn't be able to touch him at all, unless he felt like wearing mittens.

"Is there no vay to alter it?"

"I'd like to say yes, but unfortunately, this is fairly new technology Kurt." Hank shook his head, and Julia thought she may have been able to see Kurt's heart break a little as Hank handed the watch back to him. She could tell how badly Kurt must have wanted this to work. She now knew how much it must have meant to him. "Even if we did, I don't think there's a way to stop Julia's mutation from affecting the projection."

"What about my powers? Is there a way to turn them off or something? Repress them maybe?"

"Nein! Jyulia, vhy vould you vant to do such a thing?"

"I'm afraid it's not possible anyway, my dear. Your body is now very strongly bonded to your powers, repressing them would likely end up hurting you, maybe cause you to become catatonic." Hank shook his head again.

"Oh..." Julia felt her shoulders droop slightly. "Well, it's no big deal anyway. Just wear it Kurt, if I don't touch you, it works just fine right?"

"Yes, but-"

"I...think you two should talk about this," Hank interrupted, signaling his somewhat hasty exit "And I would suggest putting more ice on your lip Kurt." Julia noticed he also locked the door to his lab upon his leaving, obviously implying that their conversation needed to be a long, uninterrupted one.

"He's right," Kurt concurred, fiddling with the watch and looking at her in a somewhat forlorn fashion. "Ve should talk about this. I think ve should have before. Jyulia, if you don't vant me to vear it, just tell me so."

"It's not like that, I promise I'm not doing the absorbing thing on purpose...it just...I can't turn it all the way off. I just can't." Julia stuck her thumbs in the tiny pockets of her uniform pants. Did he think she was intentionally sabotaging it? That's definitely what the tone of the statement had seemed to imply. "This isn't about me though Kurt, if you think it's best, then you should wear it."

He glanced up at her, then away again with a frown, as though noting the hurt in her voice. "I'm sorry Jyulia, I vasn't trying to accuse you...I just vanted to feel normal, I vanted both of us to. I vant to be able to go to a movie vith you und not have to hide, und be able to kiss you vithout everyvone else looking at us like freaks. But now you von't even be able to touch me..."

"Normal is a very, very relative term sweetheart," Julia said. Kurt made a face, though she couldn't decide what emotion it expressed, or what she was supposed to say in response. "Kurt, listen, I meant what I said, this isn't about me. It's not my choice, it's yours. I'm not going to tell you what to do."

"But you von't tell me vhat you vant. You've been avoiding me, und I vant to know vhy. Is it because you don't vant me to use this?"

"No, it's nothing like that." Julia reached over and squeezed his hand lightly. "It's just...this is going to be a big change. It's just going to take me a while to accept the idea and get used to it, especially now that I know I can't get too close when you're using it, which, honestly, makes me feel a little alienated."

"Vell, I don't plan to vear it all the time Jyulia." Kurt shook his head. "But I didn't vant it to come between us eidher..."

"It won't, I promise." Julia gave his hand another little squeeze. "Just...don't ever spring it on me like that again, because I can't promise I won't hit you again. That seriously freaked me out."

They went to bed separately for the first time in several days that night. It wasn't that they slept together every night, but one would usually hang out in the other's room and cuddle until one of them fell asleep. But after the rather eventful evening with the Image Inducer, any sort of cuddling mood had efficiently died, and both felt the worse for it.

Julia sat on the edge of her bed, thinking about what had transpired. It could be worse, she supposed. Kurt could have ended up with a face that looked nothing like him. Hell, all things considered, the hologram was pretty handsome.

But that didn't change the fact that her mutation had come swooping in to screw everything up. Again, she supposed it could be worse. At least she could still walk next to him when he was wearing the Image Inducer, she just couldn't do any of the normal date stuff.

_This must be how Rogue feels everyday of her life. _Julia thought, propping her chin in her hand, and feeling a whole new empathy for her power-house teammate. _Well, I suppose as long as Kurt doesn't plan to wear the stupid thing around the house it doesn't matter. Still, what if he really starts to like looking like a normal person? What then? I couldn't tell him not to, it wouldn't be my place...but..._She flopped back, staring up at the ceiling, her mind still wandering. _Blue is how I got to know him, I've never known him any other way. I suppose if it gets weird, I could always just get close enough to mess it up again and see him. _

Satisfied with this plan, at least, for the time being, Julia rose from the bed and shed her uniform for pajamas, wishing, more than a little, that she and Kurt had finished what they had started earlier in the evening _before_ the Image Inducer had come along and completely spoiled her mood. And until she got comfortable to the idea, she imagined her mood would stay that way too.

* * *

><p>They were actually out on a date.<p>

A real one; not the sneaking along rooftops until no one was looking kind that had sort of become the norm for the pair. Kurt had actually taken her out to dinner, and they were actually sitting down and enjoying it.

There weren't exactly any fancy restaurants in Salem Center, but there was a Japanese Bar that served the best sushi and yakisoba in the county. Julia had always loved Japanese food, it was her favorite after Nana Hayle's Mexican, though she didn't know whether she had ever told Kurt or if he had simply guessed. She appreciated it regardless, and it was quite interesting watching him trying to handle chopsticks with three fingers, even though the Image Inducer made it look like he had five.

"You know, it's not actually rude to eat sushi with your fingers," She said after a moment, trying to hide her smile at his awkward motions. He was starting to get the hang of it, but it would still probably be better if she tried to spare him the embarrassment. "I just don't like getting rice stuck to my fingers is all."

"Oh. I've never been a big...fan of raw fish." He replied, but set the chopsticks aside all the same.

"Sushi isn't necessarily raw. That's sashimi."

"Ah. Vhere do you learn all that?"

"Anime." Julia shrugged with a smile. "I loved it when I was growing up. I always wanted to be Sailor Moon someday. Well, actually I always wanted to be Sailor Jupiter, because she was a bad ass."

"Sailor Moon?"

"We'll watch it sometime. The cuteness will legitimately make you sick, all the big blue eyes and cutesy attacks and stuff. It's great." She sat her chopsticks down as well, picking up a piece of tuna sushi delicately so as not to mess up the rice.

"Is it actually about sailors?"

"You know, actually I've never quite figured out why they're called that. They wear little sailor uniforms, but they're not like, sailor sailors, the boat kind. Huh. I might have to look that up." Kurt's holographic face looked utterly confused, but he didn't seem to feel like getting any deeper into the mysteries of Sailor Moon lore. They were silent for a moment at their little corner table, where no one paid them all that much mind. "So, this is really different."

"Is it still de face?" Kurt questioned, clearly concerned.

"No, no, nothing like that. I think I'm kind of used to it finally. It's just strange to not have to creep around like ninjas I guess." She smiled.

"Ja, vell, I'm just glad to be able to take you to dinner."

"Hey, you won't hear me complaining." Julia smiled again. There was another few moments of silence. "I've decided to get a job."

"A vhat?" Kurt's hologram's eyes blinked, clearly taken aback by the sudden subject change.

"A job. In Salem Center."

"Vhy? Isn't being an X-Man enough of a job?" Kurt questioned curiously.

"See, that's the thing. I have nothing but the X-Men in my life. I live at the school, I train with the team every day of the week, I have no friends who aren't X-Men or students, and I'm dating another member of the team. I never get away from the X-Men. Ever. I think I need something kinda...normal, to balance it out. So I think I'm going to get a job bar-tending or something." For a moment, Kurt only continued to look at her. "Besides, the Professor thought it would be a good idea. I think he thinks I'll calm down if I get less...involved."

"Vhat do you think?"

"I dunno. Seems like a good idea honestly. I do think that maybe if I'm not an X-Man 24/7 I might at least have a different perspective, which is never really a bad thing."

"Jyulia, you von't...you von't quit, vill you?"

"Quit? Of course not. I think I'm too young to retire. I just need...something without costumes and mutant powers every once in awhile, that's all. I'm not going to quit the team, I just need some balance I think."

"Have you thought of vhere?"

"There are a couple of places downtown looking for part-timers, I figured I'd try my luck there." Julia shrugged.

"Vell, I know Logan hangs out at vone of the places around here a lot, maybe he could recommend you."

"I'd rather not see Logan when he starts getting plastered."

Kurt smiled slightly. "He can't you know."

"Can't what?"

"Get drunk. His mutation is veird that vay, he could never drink enough to actually get...plastered."

"Really? Huh. I guess that explains why the Professor doesn't care when Logan drinks like a fish on campus. I still don't think that's the greatest example to set for the kids though."

"Setting a good example makes Logan cranky," Kurt laughed.

They stopped by the two bars hiring on their way home, one of which had already filled the spot, but the other seemed to like the idea of hiring her. Or at least, they thought Julia in a low-cut shirt would be a nice enticement to the customers.

Once back on the outskirts of town where they were safe from prying eyes, Kurt turned off the Image Inducer, much to her relief, offering Julia his normal three-fingered hand, and they strolled along home. Julia felt oddly content, not only because she had gotten to spend the evening with him, but also because he had turned the hologram off as soon as there was no immediate threat of being seen. It was reassuring to her to know he would still be his normal self for her.

"That was our first real date."

"I thought ve've been on dates," Kurt commented, appearing somewhat confused.

"But it was our first date that didn't involve running around on rooftops. We actually went out to dinner and everything." Julia grinned. "Maybe that thing won't be so bad after all."

Though he didn't say it, she gathered from Kurt's smile that he was pleased she had enjoyed herself, his tail hooking around her waist, keeping her close. She settled in against him, having missed this kind of closeness. Things had been a little awkward while they sorted through where they would stand on the Image Inducer, but now that they were both comfortable with the arrangement, things felt very nearly normal again. Nearly.

At the edge of campus, rather than deal with all the security, Kurt simply threw an arm around Julia's waist and teleported to her room. He'd recently started aiming for her bedroom rather than the hallway outside, and she supposed it was just another sign of how familiar and normal being together was starting to seem; he didn't feel as shy anymore at least.

His arm slid away from her waist, but she grabbed him before he got too far.

"Wait."

"Vhat is it?"

"You take a girl out on a date, she usually expects a kiss."

"Ah yes, how rude I am. Forgive me." Coyly, Kurt gave a deep bow, before straightening and kissing her on the nose in an entirely innocent fashion. Grinning when she gave him a pout in response. "Not vhat you had in mind?" He questioned, his voice had a flippant tone to it, as though he had nothing better to do than toy with her.

"Not even close," Julia answered, grabbing for the collar of his shirt.

"Perhaps this...?" He kissed her cheek, "Or maybe dhis...?" He tilted her head back gently to kiss her neck.

"Kurt..."

"Ah, _liebling_, don't pout. I'm flirting vith you."

"Are you now?" Julia smirked, part of her loved the idea, and the other part of her had had enough of being PG-13. All the same, she released her overly-aggressive grip on his shirt, waiting to see what Kurt's next move was going to be.

"Ja." His hands slid through her hair, down her back, settling just above her rear, pulling her hips to his lightly. Julia's arms slid around his neck, and his lips found hers. She giggled against his mouth, feeling giddy, and hoisted herself up to wrap legs around his waist. Rather to her surprise, he caught her weight and stayed on his feet with minimal effort.

"Talented, aren't you?" She remarked, kissing Kurt's ear. She had honestly sort of been hoping to topple him and have an excuse to get on top of Kurt.

"In all de time I vas in the circus, I never vonce dropped my partner." One hand squeezed her butt lightly, and Julia grinned, always finding it amusing when Kurt let himself take liberties, since he so rarely did.

"Take me to bed," She ordered softly, kissing his ear again, her arms winding tightly around his neck. She wanted him so, so bad. She wanted more with him. He had stopped being just a boyfriend, just a crush, a long time ago. "Take me to bed, take off all my clothes, and make love to me."

"_Wie Sie es w__ü__nschen." _Kurt responded just as softly, his hands holding her securely as he moved toward the other side of the room.

"Sorry?" But when she found herself on her back in bed, she supposed it must have been something along the lines of a yes. "I'm going to start taking German classes," She declared, before Kurt shushed her with another kiss. Her limbs stayed twined around him while Kurt's hands were free to slide under her shirt, pulling it away and gently stroking over her bare skin. She was so terribly glad to be over the little awkward speed bump of the human disguise. She had just been so worried that something would change, that things would somehow become different between them. But the night out, and now, proved that that wasn't the case. Clearly she was still as into him as she ever had been.

"Jyulia, there is something I vant to ask you," Kurt said randomly, while Julia wiggled around, trying to get his hands where she wanted them.

"Like what?" She questioned, untangling her arms so they could slide down his back, grabbing for the hem of his shirt. His tail caught one wrist gently, pausing her actions, yellow, luminous eyes staring into hers.

"Vhy me?"

"Why?"

"Vhy did you pick me? Vhy do you vant me? I'm curious."

Though she wondered why he suddenly wanted to ask such a question, Julia opted to answer anyway. "I guess...just because you're you. I, for one, happen to think you're a very wonderful person. You've always been there for me, and I seriously can't think of a single time where you've deliberately lied to me. That's more than I ever thought I had a right to ask of someone." She shrugged, then smiled. "Plus I still totally think you're pretty."

Kurt made a face somewhere between a pout and a grimace. "I don't vant to be pretty."

"Alright, sexy then. Sexier without the shirt on, if you catch my drift." She gave the fabric a point-making tug, to which Kurt gave another coy grin, lifting his arms enough for her to pull it off him.

"Ja. I think I got your drift," He commented as she threw it. Julia's hands trailed lightly over the fur on his chest, feeling the lean muscle underneath. He was so soft, it was another thing that was new to her, but not something that felt abnormal in the slightest.

"Good." She smiled up at him, wrapping her arms around his neck again and dragging Kurt close.

"Oh, vait. I forgot something." He pulled away again suddenly, Julia sighing dramatically.

"Kurt, where are you going?" He strode over towards the door, and Julia took the opportunity to wriggle her way out of her jeans, kicking them off the end of bed. She heard the lock click on the door in the dark, before catching a 'bamf' and a hint of sulfur, followed by Kurt's weight dropping onto her, the two collapsing in a pile of giggles.

"Sorry, _liebling,_" Kurt apologized, though his grin carried a hint of mischievousness. His hands slid up her legs, and it seemed to take him a moment to realize her pants had gone amiss.

"Er..."

"You were taking too long. And I meant what I said. I want you." She framed his face in her hands, kissing him tenderly. "You don't have to shy with me, really you don't, you know how I feel about you. I want to be together like this, so you better tell me now if that'll be going too far for you."

Kurt's hands settled over hers on his face, and his eyes drifted closed for just the briefest moment. "Jyulia, I..." He paused, blinking as though unsure what words he was looking for. "I just don't vant you to feel veird being vith me."

"I don't feel weird. I think this is _right,_" Julia insisted, "-I feel good, I'm happy with you. That's not weird and you're not weird. This is perfect."

"Perfect hm?" Kurt questioned, though, to her relief, the doubt that had momentarily surfaced seemed to be gone now. His head dipped down, and Julia couldn't restrain a gasp when she felt sharp teeth along her neck pinch just hard enough to shoot awareness straight to lower stomach.

"Definitely." Her voice had suddenly gotten rather quiet. Kurt's hands ventured under her bra, a delicate brush over her aching nipples, before they retreated long enough for him to figure out the clasp. It wasn't that he was lacking in finesse, it was more a matter of his fingers being a little too big to unhook it easily. The bra joined the growing pile of clothes on the floor, Kurt's mouth capturing hers again, his hands stroking over her exposed skin in a way that was almost reverent. The impatience Julia had been feeling earlier was now overwhelmed with sensation.

She had always known being with Kurt was going to be different than the awkward, groping teenage trysts she had experienced in her life. His touch, his voice, the way he kissed her, it was all more than just a physical interaction. It wasn't just sex, it wasn't just erotic, she felt as though they were somehow bonding, deeper than they had already. Like they were getting to know each other on a whole new level.

He hesitated again halfway through his tail taking the initiative sliding her panties down her legs. Shyly, he apologized, but the hesitation lasted only long enough for Julia to get the now-useless piece of fabric off herself, her hands reaching for the button on his pants moments later.

Kurt naked was something Julia wished she could observe more often. Certainly, his uniform left little more to the imagination than hers did, but there was something beautiful about him that didn't seem to shine through while he was in clothes. He had an acrobat's frame, all muscle and long limbs, but still lean, and he had nothing, absolutely nothing, to be modest about. Propped on his arms above her though, Kurt still seemed to feel on the shy side, fidgeting in a nervous way.

"You okay?" She questioned, her voice a little breathy. When she brushed her thumb along his cheek, she could tell he was a little warmer with a flush, though she wasn't entirely sure it was from feeling embarrassed.

"Ja." His lips caught her thumb, and he gave her a mischievous little nip. "I don't know if I've ever been better _liebling._"

"Good." She smiled, pleased he was sharing her sentiments, giving him an obvious sign of encouragement and wrapping her legs around his waist again, his tail coiling around her thigh tightly enough that she thought she might have a bit of a mark in the morning. Not that she particularly cared at the moment, she was far too busy being on the verge of total bliss. Kurt ducked his head to kiss her again, not the slow, languid kind they so often shared, but the kind that was hot, needy, and she knew it was likely only luck that Kurt's fangs hadn't gotten involved yet. His arm slid under her shoulders, pulling her up and pillowing her breasts against his chest, Julia's arms wrapping around his back, her body begging him to make love to her while her voice was trapped between their lips.

Hesitantly, oh so slowly, Kurt slipped inside her, and Julia felt herself let out a groaning gasp into his mouth.

"Are you alright?" He broke away quickly, as though terrified he had hurt her somehow.

"No, no. Kurt, don't you dare stop." She her hand curled over the back of his neck, preventing him from backing away, and her legs around his middle tightened. "Please..." For a very short moment, he stared at her, something between awe and desire flaring up in his golden eyes, and he obeyed, his hips moving forward again, burying himself in her.

She was gasping his name against Kurt's shoulder, kissing, moaning, probably biting a time or two, and though most of it was in German, Kurt seemed to be saying some rather naughty things in her ear, and she definitely felt another fanged bite land on her neck. That was all it took to finally throw her over the edge, Julia feeling like her entire body suddenly came alive with white hot energy, and somewhere in the back of her orgasm-fogged brain, she heard Kurt letting out her name in a guttural groan, followed by a surprised grunt.

"Do you alvays do that?"

"What happened?" She blinked, trying to clear the fireworks still lingering in her eyes while her body felt weak and useless.

"You transformed."

"What?" Julia's vision cleared, and she raised her hands to her face, seeing he wasn't joking, she had definitely shifted to her mutant-energy form. She glanced at Kurt, who was stretched out half on top of her, his sweat dampened hair sticking to her slightly-sparking chest. "Are you okay?"

"Ja. It kind of felt like getting shocked though. And my- vell, I'm numb now."

"Oh my God..." Julia moaned, thankful being in her energy form didn't allow her to blush, though she still covered her face with her hands and tried her hardest to change back before anything else went wrong. "This's so embarrassing, I'm so sorry Kurt."

"Don't be." He touched her face lightly. "Jyulia, it's alright."

"I had no idea I even did that. It's never happened before," Julia continued, more to herself than him. Kurt shrugged and smirked ever so slightly at her, pulling her hands away from her face.

"Maybe I'm just de best you've ever had."

"Feeling modest there Casanova?" Julia laughed, relieved that Kurt seemed to be taking her little...quirk in stride. Though it still worried her slightly, it couldn't have been a pleasant experience after all. "Does that make things totally awkward?"

"_Liebling_, you're talking to a guy with a tail." Kurt reminded, waggling the spaded tip at her to make a point. "You spent half de night telling me that I vasn't veird, how could you think I'd turn around and say you are?"

"Sorry, I don't- It's just...it's really weird to me is all."

"I don't think it vas awkward," Kurt promised, "-it vas just a surprise. But you know how I feel about surprises."

"Even if it made you go numb?"

"Vell..." Kurt's gaze shot downward for a moment, "-just so long as de feeling comes back at some point."

* * *

><p>She had fallen asleep almost instantly, cuddled up against his chest, and he hadn't been far behind her. But now he was awake, his arms and tail still coiled around Julia, but his mind wandering.<p>

He couldn't remember the last time he had felt this way, or if he ever even had. And Julia...Kurt could honestly say he had never met someone who had been able to feel the way she did about him, at least, not as honestly, not as openly as she did. Relationships had always been a bit awkward for Kurt, considering his general oddness, but with her...with Julia everything felt so...right. It made it impossible for him to ever even contemplate being separated. Sure there had been a few bumps in the road, but they seemed insignificant in hindsight. _This _was what mattered, being with her.

"_Ich glaube, ich liebe dich._" He informed the sleeping woman cradled in his arms. Perhaps he would tell her soon, when she was awake to hear it.

Perhaps.

Kurt drifted off to sleep again, wondering when he would regain the feeling in his lower extremities.

* * *

><p><em>Second Author's Note: Sexy times, cha-cha-cha. I loved finally writing them hooking up. I was never totally sure they would. <em>


	15. Chapter 15

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Holy shit readers. I'm going through so many changes in my life right now, it's bloody insane. Firstly, I am currently in the process of moving, so my life is a tad in shambles, and I'm living out of boxes and trash-bags while trying to decide how much of my stuff I really want to throw away. Secondly, the weekend in which I will chiefly be doing the moving, I will also be turning 21. Basically, everything is changing. Now then, this chapter, may seem a bit out of place, but I really liked it, and I felt like it would be better to give a few hints of what Kurt and Julia's romantic relationship is like, now that it's official, and It seemed good to flesh it out before I get back to dramatic stuff. This is really how I would see Kurt behaving with a special lady, that is to say, ridiculously sweet. It also may come to your attention that this chapter makes my statement about 'No Amanda' in the first Author's Note a bit of a lie. This wasn't really intentional, it just felt right and flowed that way, and I have long-since learned that I shouldn't argue with my muse. He/She knows better than I do. Read on. :)_

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><p><strong>Chapter 15<strong>

Winter had hit New York, and had hit it hard. Only days into November, the institute had found itself coated under a layer of frost, which Bobby Drake swore up and down was not his fault. The temperatures stayed consistently low after that, meaning everyone had started breaking out the heavy coats and boots.

Julia had been working at the bar downtown, formally known as The Long Walk bar, four days a week for a month or so, and was loving every minute of it. It was really quite an entertaining place, and about two weeks in, she discovered the best secret of all, that being that the head bartender was also a mutant. She was an empath, as she had explained once when finding her ability didn't work on a particularly annoyed Julia; she released certain wavelengths of electrical energy and changed people attitudes as easily as they changed their clothes. Most of the time though, Violet -though Julia hadn't the faintest clue whether that was her real name- stuck to using her ability to settling fights in the bar. Upon the realization that they were both mutants, the two women had become quite friendly.

"So what's it like living in that big ol' mansion?" Violet questioned one night, while she and Julia put up the chairs for the evening, the other part-timer having called in sick. Naturally, Julia hadn't been allowed to tell Violet about the X-Men, even though Violet was a mutant as well. Since Violet got along so well on her own, and clearly had a good handle of her powers, the Professor had said there was no reason to interfere with her, which meant keeping secrets. As far as her new friend knew, Julia just lived at a small, local university.

"Uhm...well, it can get pretty crowded some days," Julia shrugged, frowning slightly when she found a pile of empty bottles that had rolled beneath a table. Some people were such slobs. "We've got a lot of space and all, but there are a lot people too."

"How many? That place is huge." Violet raised an eyebrow, clearly disbelieving.

"I'm not sure of the exact number, but probably in the range of forty or fifty? It's not just a college campus, so there are a lot of high school age kids too."

"Man, I had enough of teenage brats in my own high school days, I don't know how you're doing it all over again." Violet shook her head while lighting a cigarette now that the customers were gone. Something about Violet often reminded Julia of Logan, they had very similar aloof, cynical personalities. "So, with all these kids running around, how in the world are you supposed to get laid?"

"The kids are the least of the problem," Julia chuckled, though she thought she might have rolled her eyes a bit. Scott was usually the one who showed up with a Danger Room run in mind about the time Julia got Kurt's pants off or vice-versa. Getting any sort of intimate time usually involved either sneaking away where no one would find them, or waiting until everyone else went to bed and trying to stay very, very quiet. "It's not so bad though." She shrugged to Violet. "Once you get used to it, it really feels pretty cozy."

"Well, you're a more patient woman than I Jules."

Julia smiled. Definitely had a lot in common with Logan. Maybe she ought to introduce them sometime, Violet could probably do wonders for Logan's anger management issues. "Practice makes perfect," She answered, finally collecting all the misplaced bottles, and bringing them to the recycling bin behind the counter. It was almost full, again, which meant the two of them were going to have to haul the ridiculously heavy tub outside soon. "Did you want help locking up Violet?"

"Nah, I think I can manage a couple doors on my own. Head home."

"Okay, see you tomorrow then." Julia nodded, turning to head into the back room, where Violet had been letting her leave her things while she was bar tending. On a whim, Julia glanced at the clock on the desk, wondering what time it was, and realized suddenly that it was November 13th. Her birthday.

_Wow...I didn't even realize...I'm twenty-six today. _She sighed slightly as she looked at the date forlornly. What kind of person went and forgot their own birthday? _The kind that hasn't had anyone to celebrate it with since they were eighteen._ She answered herself sarcastically. She hadn't celebrated her last seven, now eight, birthdays, if only because Nana had been the only one who had bothered to ever remember. It hadn't really seemed important since she would have ended up spending most of them alone; spending too much time being paranoid of normal people to make friends with any of them. Part of her knew the X-Men would have thrown her a party if she had told them her birthday was coming up, but part of her had lost interest in celebrating it awhile ago. _Besides, if no one knows my birthday, no one will know how old I am._ She thought with a smirk.

Pulling on her coat and flicking the light off, Julia turned to the back door, being sure to twist the lock before she closed it, figuring she'd save Violet the effort. Turning back to the alley way which led to the street, Julia suddenly felt hands on the back of her head, and she was pulled forward slightly. Her startled shriek was muffled under a pair of lips suddenly locking over hers, and she knew in that second who the supposed assailant was.

"Surprise!" A vertically inverted Kurt announced, dangling from the roof of the bar at the perfect spot to ambush her.

"One of these days you're seriously going to scare me so bad you end up with another fat-lip. Or paralyzed from the neck down. What if I had clawed you? You would have fallen on your face." Julia scolded, probably only half-convincing at best.

"I figured you vould know it vas me." Kurt grinned, clearly not paying any mind to the fact she was actually a little serious. "'I assumed being upside down vould be a dead giveavay."

Julia sighed and shook her head, but had to admit she was a little amused, now that the initial shock had worn off. "Alright, alright, you're adorable. Now get down before Violet sees you hanging off the roof, monkey-boy."

"Fine..." Kurt semi-whined, but twisted his way off the roof and landed on his feet in the easy manner he always did.

Realistically, Julia supposed she should have expected this, whether in his hologram disguise or as himself, Kurt often showed up to escort her home when she was done working. It was only natural that he would come up with a prank to pull on her while he was waiting.

"So, did I miss anything particularly exciting today?" She questioned, Kurt looping an arm around her middle to teleport them back to the mansion. If he felt like wearing his hologram disguise, they usually would just walk home, but if he felt like it was too cold and didn't want to walk, he wouldn't bother and would just teleport.

"No, just the usual of Scott und Logan butting heads all day." Kurt shook his head.

"I'm starting to think we shouldn't let them be in the same room anym- er, Kurt, where are we?" It had taken her a moment to notice they weren't in the mansion. Rather, they were in a completely unfamiliar building, in a large, seemingly empty room.

"I have another surprise for you," Kurt informed, smiling as he wandered away from her, picking his way through what appeared to be debris scattered about the room.

"What kind of surprise?"

"Hopefully de good kind." Lights flickered on overhead, nearly blinding Julia. Shielding her eyes for a moment, she realized she recognized the place, or at least, could more or less guess her current location.

"Tell me we didn't just break into the Hilton," Julia groaned, though she figured it was the only explanation for why she was staring at a view of Salem Center from ten stories up; the Hilton was the only building above five in the entire city. It had been closed down for the last few weeks for remodeling, so it would also explain all the tools and paint buckets lying around, though not the blanket, wine, and what appeared to be a for-real picnic basket.

"Ve didn't. No vone vill know ve're here."

"Alright Mr. Sly, what's going on? Why are we here?" Julia turned to Kurt with her arms crossed.

"Ve're celebrating your birthday."

"My...what?" Julia felt her mouth drop open slightly.

"Your birthday." Kurt repeated, suddenly seeming apprehensive. "Vait, did I screw it up? I didn't get the day vrong, did I?"

"No, it's just...uhm...Oh, Kurt, nobody has celebrated my birthday with me in years. Not since I left Arizona..." Something about the unbearable sweetness of the gesture brought tears to her eyes. Julia wiped at them with her fingers, though it didn't seem to be helping. "I didn't even think to mention it...how did you know?"

"I got kind of curious so I...vell, I basically stole your vallet the other day," Kurt admitted sheepishly. "I vas vondering vhy you didn't tell me how close it vas, but then I thought maybe it vould just be better to surprise you."

"It worked." Julia's voice cracked, and the tears came next, not the sobbing, bawling kind thankfully, but just the quiet, happy kind.

"_Ach, liebling_, please don't cry, ve don't have to stay if you don't vant to-"

"They're happy tears you blue goof." Julia laughed, Kurt looking absolutely relieved.

"Oh good, I dhought I'd made a huge mistake for a second there..." Kurt pulled her into a hug so she could get the last of her tears out on his shoulder, before letting her go and tugging her towards the little indoor picnic he had set up. "Food und drinks first, dhen presents."

"Presents?" Julia couldn't seem to keep down the excitement in her voice. She hadn't had birthday presents in a long time, but she still had the childish glee that went with them. "Hey wait, do I get birthday sex too?" Kurt laughed quietly, and looked over at her with a sly smirk.

"Food und drinks first _liebling,_" He insisted, more-or-less forcing her to sit on one side of the mini-picnic with his hands on her shoulders, before moving to the other side and lifting the wine from its bucket of ice, pouring it out in plastic goblets. "Happy birthday Jyulia."

"Kurt, you seriously have no idea how happy I am right now," Julia feeling like a fresh batch of tears may be working itself to her eyes as she took the glass he offered her.

"That vas the idea." He smiled, delving into the basket. "Marcy vas going to make you peanut butter cookies, but she ended up eating most of de batter, ve did manage to finish de cake though."

It was a cute, little cake, obviously hand-frosted with a large, purple heart added over the chocolate. She would guess it was more Kurt's handiwork than Marcy's seeing as it was a little lopsided; Kurt didn't quite have Marcy's talent in the kitchen. But as far as Julia was concerned, it was perfect.

They shared the cake, sipping wine and chatting mindlessly, though Kurt managed to coax a few embarrassing past birthday experiences from Julia as she started to get a tiny bit tipsy.

"Hey Kurt?"

"Ja?"

"I've officially decided you're the best boyfriend I've ever had."

"Am I now?" Kurt questioned, though his smile was a bit self-indulgent.

"I mean it. You're truly an amazing person Kurt. And you make me feel so freaking special, all the time, and I don't even know what I'm supposed to do to thank you or something."

"You don't thank people for loving you, _liebling_. You've already earned it."

_Loving?_ Her brain hung on that one word, but as though only just then realizing himself what his word choice had been, Kurt abruptly stood and announced he had to go get her present, disappearing in his usual puff of smoke. _Loving. Loving is good. _Julia thought with a smile, sitting back on her hands and waiting for Kurt to come back from wherever he had hidden the gift. After a few minutes, and a few more sips of wine, Kurt reappeared, looking, again, quite pleased with himself.

"Here." He held a small, thin box out to her, fastened closed with a blue ribbon.

"Do I get a hint?"

"Nein. You have to open it." He grinned, pushing the box into her hands and sitting beside her again.

"Alright, fine, I'll do it the old fashioned way." She smirked, leaning her shoulder against Kurt's and pulling the bow away from the box. Under the lid, she found the prettiest little necklace she had ever seen; a perfect black pearl, silver wires wrapped around it to create a cage-like pendent, complete with a thin silver chain. "Oh Kurt, it's so, so pretty. Where did you find this?" She pulled it out of the cotton lining the box.

"I vent to New York."

"Seriously? All the way to New York?"

"I teleport, remember? It vasn't a very long trip." Kurt smiled, taking the chain from her hands lightly. "Here, let me put it on."

"Please." She pulled her hair aside and turned so her back was facing him. "So, just, on a whim, you teleported all the way over to New York to go birthday shopping for me?"

"Not exactly on a vhim, no. I saw somedhing like it in vone of the magazines Kitty is alvays reading. I thought it vould be perfect, so I vent looking."

"See, this is what I mean Kurt. I feel so goddamn special right now."

"Because you are," He replied, dropping a kiss on the nape of her neck after the chain was safely fastened. "You like it?"

"Of course, I love it." Julia reached behind her, wrapping her arms around Kurt's neck. She tilted her head back to smile at him. "Would it be rude to ask how much you spent on me?"

"It vas enough." He circled arms around her waist and pulled her back against his chest. "You don't pay for presents, remember?"

"Yeah, well, the gift-giver still has to. You didn't need to spend a bunch of money on me Kurt."

"Stop vorrying. It's your birthday," Kurt admonished gently, placing a kiss on top of her head this time.

"Hm. Best birthday ever." Julia turned so she could snuggle her head against Kurt's neck, feeling totally content, as she usually did when he was around.

"Don't get too comfortable Jyulia. Ve still have to go to your other party."

"My what?"

"You didn't really dhink Marcy vould help me make a birthday cake vithout making you a real party, did you? But I vanted you to myself first."

"This night is about to get really crazy, isn't it?"

"Ja, most likely."

* * *

><p>"Crazy" had been a relative term. When you combined mutant powers with alcohol and the fact that most of the students were already in bed, things tended to border on chaos. Jean, Scott, and Hank had been the self-appointed responsible ones, but Logan had remedied that by mixing shots of hard alcohol in with their beverages, snickering all the way. Jean and Scott had ended up sneaking off for a romantic tryst somewhere, and Hank vanished inexplicably soon after; it was only the day after that they found him on the roof, where he had apparently been reciting Spenser to the moon. Logan had then taken charge of the party, and it had steadily grown worse, the X-Men dropping like flies as he doled out liquor in quantities even he probably couldn't have tolerated. Marcy had gone looking for Hank, very loudly, Kitty had drunkenly phased through the floor and ended up in the basements somewhere, Peter had gone to look for her, no one knew what happened to Rogue, and Storm had left almost as soon as people started to drink to protect her plants from drunken perambulations. The night at last started to calm when Bobby Drake went Iceman on the drinks, effectively freezing everything solid in his attempt to make more ice cubes.<p>

Julia and Kurt had left for his room when it had finally died down, and poor Kurt had been terribly nauseous for the last hour, his top half curled in Julia's lap in-between trips to the bathroom. Julia suspected Logan had been a key factor in Kurt's current state as well, seeing as she hadn't seen Kurt drink anything stronger than wine or beer all night. She on the other hand had been avoiding any drinks handed to her by Logan, knowing better than to trust him as a bar tender; as far as he was concerned, if no one ended up puking or spitting teeth on the floor, it wasn't a party.

"You feeling any better?" She questioned, petting her hand over Kurt's cheek gently.

"No." He groaned, burying his face against her thigh. She tried not to notice the tingle his breath on her leg sent up her spine, but was doing a rather poor job. Apparently she was really wanting that birthday sex.

"Do you want some water or something? You're going to have a wicked hang-over in the morning if you don't drink any."

"I vill drink some vhen I feel better," He responded, speaking into the denim of her jeans. "I didn't ruin your birthday, did I?"

"No, of course not." Julia rubbed his back gently, smiling at the tangle of blue-black hair in her lap. "You were having fun, we were all having fun. You just had a little too much."

"Fun or beer?"

"From the look of things, I'd say both sweetheart."

"Ja." He groaned again, sounding perfectly miserable.

"Why don't we just get some sleep? That will help. I'll go get you some water okay?" She took Kurt lightly by the shoulders, trying to maneuver his head to his pillow, but he clung onto her, almost like a child, his face ending up in her cleavage now. Though she didn't get the impression it had been intentional.

"Don't leave."

"I'm only going to the kitchen. It's not like I'll get lost." In reply, Kurt grumbled something unintelligible, and refused to let go. Julia smiled, finding him far too precious for words, as usual. "Alright, forget the water then, just don't blame me when you have a headache tomorrow." Julia scooted her way down the mattress slightly, and settled back into Kurt's pillows, his head staying right where it was.

"Have I ever told you dhese are great?"

"What?"

"Your boobs. Dhey're awesome."

For a moment, Julia was stunned into silence, having never heard Kurt say the word 'boobs', let alone in a sentence that was apparently serious; and then she began to giggle, finding the whole thing hilarious. He was always so sophisticated and educated in his speech, hearing him use a slang word -for anything- was simply amusing to her.

"Vhat? It's true." Kurt lifted his face to give her a bleary, questioning look.

"I'm sorry, it's just...you are definitely drunk right now honey. Thanks for the compliment anyway," Julia said with a smile, tousling his hair softly. "Come on now, you really need to sleep Kurt, your hangover is seriously going to kick your ass in morning."

* * *

><p>"Jyulia?"<p>

In response to Kurt's gentle attempt to wake her up, Julia's mostly-naked body wrapped around his more securely, grumbling something about 'five more minutes'. He vaguely remembered her taking her jeans off sometime in the night, though he wasn't entirely certain what had happened to her shirt and bra.

As she had warned him, several times, Kurt had woken up with his head in utter agony. He needed more sleep, coffee, and some extra strength Tylenol, not necessarily in that order, and he needed it fast. However, he was having a hard time getting out of Julia's grip, and he wasn't about to teleport into the kitchen with her still hanging on and barely covered.

"I'm going to go get coffee. Do you vant me to bring some back for you?"

"Coffee?" Julia finally showed a sign of alertness, lifting her head and dragging a hand through her hair to pull it off her face. Her eyes focused after a few seconds, and then she smiled in a somewhat smug fashion. "Hungover?"

"Ja. Badly."

"I warned you. But I will have some coffee, if you're going that way anyway."

"Of course. But you have to let go." She pulled her arms away from him, and scooted back a few inches, propping her chin in her hands.

"See you in a few then, babe." She smiled, Kurt smiling back before taking off for the kitchen.

The dining room and kitchen were both a bit on the crowded side, though it was Saturday morning. Kurt weaved his way in between the other mutants crowding towards the breakfast food, trying to ignore the fact it was making his headache worse to be around so much noise. Someone had already brewed a pot of coffee, and Kurt was certainly not too proud to siphon some off for himself and Julia. He poured it out and started back towards the exit, balancing his two mugs of coffee, as well as painkillers and a bottle of water for later that morning. Once out of the kitchen where the smoke wouldn't bother anyone, he took the shortcut-way to get back to his room, luckily losing none of the coffee in the dimension in between.

Julia was more or less in the same place in the middle of the bed -and no more clothed than she had been when he left- and though she was sitting with the sheet clasped lazily against her chest, she didn't seem at all bothered by the fact he was there. Kurt supposed he shouldn't really find the lack of modesty unusual, he had seen her naked fairly frequently these last few weeks after all, but he found it somehow humbling that she was so obviously comfortable with him. Truth be told, he supposed he found it humbling on some level that someone so pretty, so perfect had picked him at all.

No, maybe she hadn't picked him. Maybe he had earned her attention, the same way she had his. Just by being himself. Of course, fate had also had a pretty heavy hand in it, after all, he had been aiming for the roof, that night in New York; it had only been sheer chance that he had ended up in Julia's apartment rather than that of someone who would have thrown him to the wolves, regardless of his head injury at the time.

"I nearly forgot about this," She said suddenly, pulling Kurt out of his contemplation, holding up what looked like a thumb drive.

"Vhat is it?" He questioned, and covered the remaining space between himself and the bed in a matter of steps, handing her one mug and keeping the other for himself, settling down into the space next to her.

"Marcy made me a recording of "Moonrise" for my present, sweet of her, huh?" Julia smiled fondly. "It's really a beautiful piece of music; I just found it in my jacket pocket from yesterday."

"It's got some nice memories," Kurt chided, smiling.

"Yeah, that too." Julia sipped at her coffee slowly, while Kurt drained nearly half the cup in one go. "Kurt, there's something I'm curious about."

"Vhat sort of something?"

"About you."

"Alright. Ask avay _liebling._"

"Was there anyone before me?"

"How do you mean?"

"I mean, any other women in your life, before me? I'm only curious, you don't have to answer of course," She added quickly, "-I suppose it's kind of rude to ask, all things considered. It's just something I don't know about you."

Kurt looked absently at his coffee, then shrugged. "There vas never anyvone...like you."

"Ever? Have you never been serious about someone before?"

"No, I vas. Her name vas Amanda. But it did not...vork out. I don't know if she never felt the same, or if it vas me, but..." He trailed off and shrugged again.

"What was she like?"

"Vhy do you vant to know?"

"Sorry, I guess I'm just being nosy."

"It's okay. She vas...alvays happy. I remember she vas alvays smiling. But it vasn't meant to be I suppose. Ve vere raised together, I think that made it a little veird too."

"I see." Julia nodded, sipping her coffee again. "Did you love her?"

"Ja." He admitted it plainly, though quietly. Kurt had no desire to lie to Julia. He couldn't say how he expected her to answer though.

"Well, it's a pity that didn't work out, but I'm sort of glad too. Because now I get you." She smiled brightly, and Kurt found it rather contagious, though it was, honestly, an awkward conversation for him. He had been in love with Amanda, most certainly, but he had also been young. Too young to know the difference between the more-or-less familial affections Amanda had shown him and the kind of love he had given her. Sometimes it had almost seemed as though Amanda had loved him just because she was reflecting his feelings. They were still close, Kurt and his adopted sister, but they were nothing more than that now, brother and sister.

Though he couldn't help but wonder how it would go to one day introduce Julia and Amanda.

"Vhat about you?"

"My previous dating life?" He nodded.

"Anybody serious for you?"

Julia raised her hand to where they could both see it and gestured to the rings decorating her fingers that she almost always wore, except when in costume, each a different style. She indicated a plain, silver band wrapped around her right ring-finger.

"You remember the story Nana Hayle told about Dylan? He gave me this. We'd only been together for a month or so at the time, and he knew literally nothing about me. Not even that I was a mutant, or that I didn't have a family, because he never asked and I never told. He liked the idea he'd made of me, and I think he liked my...physical attributes; he thought I looked good on the back of his motorcycle. Anyway, the point of that little story is that I've never been serious with anyone, because almost no one has known the "real me" for lack of something less cliché. When you keep the biggest secret you have from someone you're trying to care about, it's almost impossible to really feel anything for them because you end up playing this part that isn't really you. Does that make sense?"

"Ja, definitely." Was the only thing he said for a moment, looking thoughtfully at the dregs of his coffee. After all, Kurt had spent a good portion of his life pretending his face was a mask and that when the lights went down he looked like everybody else. He knew all about playing parts. "Do I know de real you?"

Julia laughed quietly. "I hope so. I can tell you for sure you're closer than anyone else has ever gotten before sweetheart." She set her coffee aside, and reclined against Kurt's chest, his arm curling around her shoulders in a way that felt entirely natural, almost instinctual.

"But vhy the ring?" He asked after a moment of them simply sharing body-heat.

"Suppose it's just a memento. You know how people say to tie thread around your finger so you don't forget? Same basic idea. It just reminded me not to repeat that kind of mistake and that I had to keep my secrets. But I don't have to worry about that anymore."

"No, you don't."

"Hm." He could see the corners of her smile when he glanced down at her. "Hey Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"I'm really happy." Julia let the statement hang in the air for a while, then squirmed around under his arm slightly. She sat up straight, arching her back slightly to crane her neck and observe him. For a moment, he looked silently back at her, waiting for whatever she was going to say, and then Julia's mouth widened into a sultry smile. "You taken those painkillers?"

"Not yet, vhy?"

The smile widened into something almost predatory, and Kurt suddenly found she was clambering onto his lap, the fingers of one hand curling sweetly at the nape of his neck, while her other hand took a more adventurous route down his abdomen, landing lightly at the waistband of his pants. "Because you implied birthday sex, and I haven't gotten any yet."

It was well past lunch, nearly dinner, before either Julia or Kurt were seen by anyone else.


	16. Chapter 16

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Whelp, here we are again. Chapter 16 is now up and running, as well as my house being set-up and more or less totally livable now. That's all for now, so enjoy. _

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

"So, what's got your panties in a knot?"

Julia turned to meet Violet's prying gaze with a curious one of her own. "I thought you couldn't do the Empath thing on me."

"I don't need to, you're giving yourself dreadlocks," Violet practically snorted, the two mutants were sitting behind the counter, enjoying an extremely slow-paced day at Long Walk.

"Oh." Julia frowned, noticing she had indeed been making a rat's nest out of the strand of hair in her hand. "I'm just thinking about something."

"That much was obvious." Violet crossed her arms in a way that said she didn't plan to move from her spot until Julia had spilled the beans. Julia evaded her gaze for a few moments, but Violet continued to watch her curiously.

"Well?" She demanded after a moment.

"Uhm...how are you supposed to say 'I love you' without it sounding totally lame?"

Violet's eyes widened, and then she gave a contemptuous snort of laughter. "Okay, maybe I'm just old and stuff, but when did just saying it outright go out of fashion?"

"I dunno. It just doesn't seem very romantic is all." Julia shrugged. "But, he made this whole sweet, romantic little dinner for my birthday, which I never even told him about, and it just made me realize...I'm totally in love. And because he went through all that trouble, I want the perfect moment, the perfect words...ugh...I sound like a soap opera don't I?"

"Just a l'il." Violet smirked, holding up her fingers and delegating somewhere in the range of an inch. "Listen," She continued, reaching under the bar and pulling out a couple of glasses, before reaching behind them for her favorite tequila, "-like I said, I dunno a whole lot about this kinda stuff, but if I were you, I'd just wait till you can't hold it in anymore. When you want to say it so badly you just blurt it out, it's probably the right moment, and it's probably going to be from the heart, which is always the best way to go."

"You think?"

"Yep." Violet poured two perfectly even tequilas, tossed in some ice, and added a squeeze of lime, creating what she called "the cheapskate's margarita". She handed one off to Julia and downed the other. At first, Julia had been uncomfortable with Violet's habits of drinking on the clock, but she had also never seen her friend drunk, so she let it slide these days. Julia also knew Violet didn't care enough about other people's opinions to stop anyway. She however, didn't feel like downing tequila at three in the afternoon. "So, who is this lucky bastard?"

Julia laughed. "I suppose you'll think I'm being coy if I say I'm the lucky one. Anyway, his name's Kurt. I met him just before I came to the school, suppose you could say he was the one that convinced me it was a good idea."

"And then y'all fell madly in love is that it?"

"Something like that." Julia nodded with a smile.

"Is he cute?"

"Very. And very sexy."

"Good guy?"

"The best."

"How is he in bed?"

Julia laughed again, picturing for a moment Kurt's face if he knew she was sharing such details about them, even if she opted to be pretty vague; no sense causing unrest by mentioning a tail or fur after all. "He's amazing actually. Kurt's really flexible, and there are a few things only he can do." Things involving his tail for instance. Not to mention, he had easily picked up on what to do and where to do it to turn her into a temporary nymphomaniac. After he had gotten over being so terribly shy with her, Julia had discovered Kurt to be quite the attentive, generous lover; she could only hope he came away from their trysts as satisfied as she always did.

"Does he know about your...special stuff?"

"Yeah. Kurt definitely knows I'm a mutant," Julia scoffed and shook her head slightly; after all, Kurt was the only person who had ever experienced -or even knew about- her orgasm-induced transformations. Also to his credit, it hadn't yet turned Kurt off that he went numb from the waist down more-or-less every time they were intimate.

"Well, hell. Sounds like a party to me. I still say you should just tell him. Just blurt it out and hope for the best; you never really struck me as the shy type anyway, you're pretty blunt."

"And you're one to talk? Suppose you're right though, I don't usually get so insecure about my own feelings. I guess I'm just worried I'll sound like a dork and spoil the moment." Julia shrugged. Of course, she knew even she did come off sounding like a total fool, Kurt would never tell her so, she just didn't want to spring her feelings on him too unexpectedly. But would it be unexpected? She'd never been too good with the subtle thing, and she'd never been shy in expressing her thoughts and feelings, there was no way she hadn't given Kurt fairly obvious signs that this wasn't a short term thing for her.

Not to mention, she had once fairly bluntly asked him to let her love him.

Julia put her own thoughts aside for a moment in order to serve one of the early-comers who was nearly a regular, and just as she approached her stool to sit back down, there was a slight rumble overhead which penetrated the entire building, seeming to settle directly above the bar.

"Is that a jet?" Violet questioned, looking up towards the ceiling in a confused manner.

"Yep," Julia said, partially under her breath; she knew exactly which jet it was too.

Brimstone-laced smoke reached Julia's nostrils and a moment later, Kurt, hidden behind his Image Inducer, had appeared in the center of the floor, casting a nervous glance at the patrons of the bar, who merely stared at him like dead fish.

"Kurt, this had better be an emergency."

"Ja. Huge vone. Ve need you."

"Whoa, whoa, what the hell? Kurt's a mutant too?"

"Yeah, it's a long story Violet, I'll tell you later," Julia apologized, gathering from Kurt's tone that then wasn't the time to be worrying about how this looked.

He crossed the floor and wrapped an arm around her waist, nodding slightly to Violet. "It's very nice to meet you, but I must borrow my lady-love from you for avhile." Before Violet could so much as nod, Kurt had teleported again into the hold of the Blackbird above.

"I suppose there was no way you could have walked in the front door? Or called me?"

"There vas no time." Kurt shook his head apologetically, lifting her uniform from one of the seats and handing it to her. "Dhere is a serious situation in Boston, ve have to get there as soon as possible."

"What's going on?"

"Chuck thinks the goddamn Purifiers have gone nuclear," Wolverine spat from the front of the plane, where not only Cyclops, Jean, Shadowcat, Colossus, Rogue, Beast, and Scarab were all anxiously seated, but also Professor X himself.

"Excuse me? _Nuclear_?"

"Uh-huh. Some guy is standin' on top o' the Mutant Affairs building in Boston, saying he's gonna blow the damn thing with a neutron bomb or something like that, 'less the Government does something about the 'Mutant Problem,' and as far as we can tell, it's legit." The entire time he had been speaking, Wolverine's voice had grown steadily more like a snarl, to the point where he now sounded half-feral.

"Where the hell would they get that kind of stuff? That's military isn't it?" It was safe to say the Purifiers probably traded info with the MRD, seeing as they had so much anti-mutant tech, but no one wanted to think about what would happen if the federal government started helping them.

"Indeed." The Professor interjected before Wolverine could growl his own reply. "Which makes this situation twice as dire."

"You don't think the government is on their side, do you?" Jean questioned, sounding almost on the fearful side.

"I don't think so. That would likely be too extreme in their view. However, I don't think they would be entirely opposed to turning a blind eye when their munitions go "missing" here and there," Beast answered, looking bitterly down at the ground rushing by below. Marcy laid a hand lightly on his arm, but he seemed impervious to the comfort.

"What are we going to do?" Julia asked, not entirely certain she wanted the answer.

"Truth be told, I don't know how we'll prevent the causalities if it does in fact go off." The Professor shook his head forlornly. "For now, we must, at all costs, keep the bomb from being detonated, and get as many people as far away as we can. On the chance this is a nuclear issue, the government will indeed have to get involved, though I doubt their methods will help the situation any. If it does go off...there may be nothing we can do."

"I could-" Julia began, but the Professor shook his head, knowing what she had been about to say even without the ability to read her mind.

"No, I wouldn't ask you to attempt that. Even with your abilities, radiation may still be dangerous to you Julia. Last time it caused a spontaneous mutation, there's no telling what it will do if you attempt to absorb such a large amount of radiation again. No. It's not a risk we can take."

"But all those people-"

"We'll worry about that only if we fail to stop the bomb from being armed," The Professor concluded shortly. "Jean, you and I will remain outside and try to prevent a panic. Two telepaths are better than one in a situation of this magnitude, so you'll have to rely on communicator contact. Our first priority is going to be to getting people out of the building, once that's through, Jean and I will try to start the evacuation while the rest of you sweep for the bomb."

"I should be able to disarm it," Hank piped up from his sullen silence again, "-so when you find it, radio me and give me your location."

Julia returned to the lower-deck to change into her uniform, feeling anxiety starting to swim around in her stomach. This was going to end badly. She just knew it. She put her clothes in a pile in one of the seats, and carefully un-clipped the pearl necklace Kurt had given her from around her neck. She almost never took it off, but was terribly afraid of losing it on missions, especially since it would fall right off if she ever had to use the displacement power. Unsure of where else to put it for safekeeping, Julia slid it into the pocket of her jeans from earlier, before rejoining the group in solemn silence.

* * *

><p>Thankfully, most of the people in the Mutant Affairs building were, naturally, less inclined to start a riot at the arrival of the X-Men. However, that didn't make getting them out of the building without stampeding much easier, even with Phoenix and Professor X keeping a lid on the panic as best they could. They had started on the top floor and were working their way down, Nightcrawler or Rogue, those of the crew with the easiest methods of movement, back-tracking every few minutes for stragglers.<p>

Eclipse was trotting along with the others, they were about two-thirds of the way down, when she felt an odd tingling sensation in her feet that no one else seemed to feel. She stopped short in the hallway, the others carrying on, seeming to be focused enough on their mission that they didn't notice one of their number hesitating. Eclipse let her transformation slide over her, her eyes fixed on the floor, and as she had feared, she could see strong traces of a gathered energy through the floors, its signature bright enough that she could sense it, even from here. Still, better to check before she alarmed anyone. Eclipse turned to the elevator doors nearby, and pressed the down button. Just as it arrived on the basement floor, Eclipse's communicator buzzed in her ear.

"You mind filling the rest of us in on where you disappeared to?" Cyclops questioned in her ear, sounding a little annoyed with her, as he usually seemed to be.

"The basement," She replied, her own tone taking on some annoyance, partially due to the fact she was stressed out, and partially due to the fact Cyclops was always trying to baby sit her, as though worried she'd go flying off the handle at any moment. Even though he had been the one to decree her mission-ready again, he seemed paranoid that she wasn't truly ready. It made him seem rather like a busy-body, but she supposed it was really Cyclops' nature to play babysitter. "I was getting a weird feeling from it."

"What kind of weird feeling?"

"The kind where I'm picking up an energy signature that I don't think should be here." The door opened, bringing Eclipse into a room full to bursting with janitorial supplies and what seemed to be furniture in need of minor repairs.

"Do you think you found it?"

"I don't want to say for certain until-" She circled a shelf hosting several bottles of some kind of cleaner, and met a relatively small, metallic container, shaped vaguely like a bullet, and electronic counter on the side counting down from five minutes. "Uh...Yeah. I found it. And it's already been armed and started."

"Started?" Beast's voice broke into the conversation.

"Uh-huh. We've got four minutes and twenty seconds to figure out how to turn it off." Eclipse, if she had been in her human form, probably would have been grinding her teeth hard enough to crack them. "Or we could just start praying."

"This isn't the time for jokes!" Cyclops snapped, but he was quickly drowned out by Beast.

"How is that possible? No one has seen the terrorist leave the roof..."

"I don't think he was in on this." Eclipse shook her head, though no one could see it over the communicator. "Beast, can you disarm it now that it's started?"

"Potentially. That said, I'll have no time to determine whether I'm doing it safely or not."

"Damnit! Listen, I have an idea. Kurt, can you get down to the basement?"

"Ja, but-"

"I need you to teleport the bomb to the roof. Maybe he didn't start it, but I bet the guy up there has got to know some kind of crash code."

"We don't know-"

"Hey, at the very least, if it does go off, it will do a lot less damage to the rest of the city up on the roof than it will down here. Please Cyclops, we're running out of time to be diplomatic!"

He painfully silent for only another moment. "You're right. Nightcrawler, go."

A few seconds later, she heard a 'bamf' from the direction of the elevator, and guessed Nightcrawler had teleported down the elevator shaft in lieu of risking going straight into the basement.

"You've got about ten feet of space on the other side of the door," Eclipse informed him through the communicator, letting him know he didn't have to worry about impaling himself on something. He appeared in his signature puff of smoke, his expression drawn and tight, somewhere between fear, hopelessness, and cold, hard determination. She guessed her expression mirrored it.

"Do you think you can get to the roof in one jump?"

"Ja, most likely," Nightcrawler nodded, though confident was not the way she would describe him.

"Okay. Listen, I want you to just drop it off and get everyone else out of here."

"Jyulia I von't-"

"I can maybe survive that." She jabbed a finger at the bomb nearby, her finger giving off a small spark of black lightning, her powers responding oddly to being so near such a huge mass of energy. "You can't. If it detonates, it'll turn you into a crispy critter, if there's anything left of you at all. I'll call you to come back and get the guy up there if he doesn't know how to turn it off, but maybe I'll be able to stop it before it gets really bad. We don't have time to argue about it."

His face turned desperate. "Jyulia please, please don't ask me to leave you dhere. You know I von't do that."

"Listen to me," Eclipse stepped toward him, making sure her tone left no room to argue, speaking as quickly as she could and still make something similar to sense. She pulled the com-link from her ear. This was personal, no one else needed to hear it. "I love you Kurt, and I want you to live through this. Right now, that's all that matters to me. I love you, I want you to survive. Understand? You and I both know you would make this exact same decision if our places were reversed, and we both know you would ask me not to argue. That's what I'm asking you do. Trust me."

He opened his mouth as though to argue, or to somehow respond to her declaration, but Eclipse gave a sharp shake of her head.

"Please. There's only a little time left, we have to make it count." Plus, Eclipse was worried that if she didn't act while she had the drive, she might lose her resolve. She had told Kurt she loved him, and that would give her enough courage to get her through this. Whether she might end up being disintegrated before she could stop the bomb was something she couldn't think about without her will breaking.

"Alright. But I von't leave until dhere is no other choice." His arm curled around her middle, tighter than it needed to be for teleporting, and he coiled his tail around the bomb's case. A breath later, they were on the roof, mere feet from the shocked Purifier lackey who was the source of this entire dilemma.

Without so much as a moment to breathe, Eclipse marched over to him, grabbed him by the collar, and dragged him toward the bomb.

* * *

><p>Kurt stood a little way off, part of him dwelling on what Julia had said, and part of him finding some kind of satisfaction in watching her man-handled the portly, middle-aged man like he was half her size. He wasn't fond of violence for the most part, but some side of him felt the other man deserved all the pain Julia could manage to inflict.<p>

How could she think he would leave her up here with a bomb that could kill even her, after telling him she loved him? He had spent so long, so much time trying to decide if telling her his own feelings would be prudent. Now that he knew she felt the same, he wished he had just spit it out weeks ago, when they would have been able to talk about it.

No. He had to keep faith. He had to believe they were both going to go home when this was all over, crawl in bed, make love, and wake-up in the morning and this would all just be another bad day. He had to believe it.

Julia threw the Purifier down, so that he landed on his knees directly in front of the bomb.

"Turn it off." She ordered, her voice a low, threatening growl.

"Whaddya mean turn it off? It isn't even armed."

Julia grabbed his collar again, more firmly this time, and shoved his head low enough to see the timer, now showing only one minute and forty-five seconds. "Looks like they forgot to tell you it was a remote detonator. Do you, or do you not, know how to shut it down?"

"I...I..." He was stammering, clearly shocked that whoever had really and truly set this up wasn't afraid to nuke him in the process. Kurt almost felt pity for him. Almost.

Julia's clawed hand ripped through the man's shoulder, the limb attached falling limp and useless to his side as she killed nerve endings and sensation; he screamed, probably more in imagined pain than real hurt.

"Answer me! Answer me, or I swear you will never walk again." Julia's voice was an intimidating hiss. In that particular moment, she reminded Kurt of when Wolverine was in a berserker rage; Julia didn't care what she had to do to get her goal accomplished, only that it was. It rather alarmed him.

Finding some hidden reserve of strength, the Purifier shoved Julia off, grabbing at a pipe that had been laying nearby, swinging at her. Caught off-guard and off-balance, Julia took the bar's full brunt directly to her face; the metal connecting against solid energy with a sickening thud and knocking her over backwards. Kurt didn't know whether she was actually hurt or not, or whether she even could be physically hurt in this form. All he knew was the bastard had hit her, and he was going to regret it. A teleport got him close enough to wrench the pipe out of the attacker's grasp, though the stocky man wrestled him violently for it. Even with only one arm.

Julia pushed herself up onto her arms -Kurt could only barely see her in his peripheral- and he heard a faint: "No..."

He let go of the pipe to turn, and saw what her gasp had meant. They were out of time. The clock on the side read only three seconds.

The light was blinding, Kurt shielded his eyes, and was reminded of Julia's very first mission with the X-Men. That seemed like so long ago now. He heard her voice, screaming something, and in the next second the light was muffled. It took several long seconds for his vision to clear enough to see what had happened.

Julia threw herself over the bomb, wrapping her limbs around it, trying to keep as much of it within her body as she could. She was screaming. Long, wordless, and agonizing.

"Jyulia!" He knew that she couldn't hear him, there was no way she could, but for some reason, he couldn't stop calling her name. The entire building was shaking, despite Julia's powers working to their full effect, the air grew so hot that Kurt's throat and lungs seemed to burn when he dared take a breath.

As quickly as it began, though it felt like hours, the explosion was over. Kurt was vaguely aware of a cacophony of voices all speaking together in the com-link in his ear, but his only concern was making sure Julia was alright.

She lay in a crumpled heap beside the scorched remainder of the bomb case which lay in scraps, burnt rods of whatever nuclear material the Purifiers had used scattered beside it, seeming totally depleted. Streaks of ebony lightning were arcing out from her prone form, striking at random against the concrete of the roof, her hair was a raging inferno around her head, pieces of shrapnel protruding from her shoulders and arms; he could only guess where else.

"Jyulia!" Kurt bounded to her in a matter of steps, his heart clenching. She had to be alive. He couldn't even comprehend the thought of her being anything else. He dodged one of the black lightning bolts still wildly streaking about, and dropped to his knees beside her. "Jyulia...?"

"Everything...everything hurts..." Her voice was barely a whisper, and she sounded as though she would have been in tears, if she had any tear ducts.

"Thank God..." Heedless of the lightning, her hair, and even the shrapnel poking into his skin now, Kurt hauled her up against his chest, taking a moment to try and process what he had just seen. Trying to assure himself that she was still here with him. "Jyulia, dhat vas either the bravest thing I have ever seen, or de stupidest."

"Spur of the moment. Yell at me later." She commented, her voice ragged with pain. Julia reached a hand in a groping, haphazard manner for one of the hunks of metal stuck in her chest, and she tugged it out with surprising ease. Then again, he supposed she didn't really have skin in this form, so maybe it shouldn't be so surprising. Wincing slightly in an empathetic sort of pain, Kurt assisted her in removing what metal he could. It would be much more of a problem when she shifted back to her other form. Which she probably couldn't do until the some of the power she had absorbed wore off; if it was still lingering in her system when she went human again, it had the potential to burn her up from the inside out. "Kurt?"

"Ja?"

"I meant what I said, just so you know. That wasn't some confession I made just because I thought I was going to die. I love you."

"You thought you vere going to _die_ and you still tried to stop the bomb?" Kurt demanded indignantly, to which Julia responded by shaking her head slightly.

"What else was I supposed to do?" She was quiet for a moment, and then her pure-silver eyes looked up at him again apprehensively. "Do you love me?"

"Jyulia, of course I do. How could I not? I'm lucky to have you, you're amazing, _mein lieb._"

"Seriously, when are you going to get around to teaching me German?" She gave a weak laugh, leaning her tired head against his chest. "Hey, where did that Purifier go?"

Kurt blinked a moment, and realized he had totally forgotten about the other person on the roof. And answering his teammates who were still demanding explanations through the communicator. "I don't know. I vill go look for him. Vill you be alright?"

"Yeah. Don't worry. As soon as I feel like moving I'll burn some of the energy off. I should start feeling better then."

"Alright." He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead, any longer and he might had gotten a numb mouth from all her sparking, and leaned Julia against the shell of the bomb, wandering away to locate their terrorist.

* * *

><p>Her entire body felt like it was one big, sore mass of bruises or burns. Julia tentatively raised her hand, flexing her fingers, glad to see they were still working properly. The movement hurt a little, but she was already making progress in terms of how bad the pain was. A few moments ago, she probably wouldn't have even managed that without screaming. She glanced up, meaning to ask Kurt whether he had found the Purifier yet, and instead, found the barrel of a gun leveled with her right eye.<p>

"You bitch! You ruined it!" He wailed, the gun wavering slightly, but he kept it reasonably close to her head. "How can I go back now that it didn't work?"

Julia didn't know if she could handle a bullet right now. She didn't even know whether she could transport herself out of the way, her powers were still totally overwhelmed with what she had just absorbed. It was a bad, bad time for them to be going hinky.

"Let's not forget," She said, as calmly as she was able, "-they were going to blow you up too, right? You didn't even know someone else had armed it."

"That's not the point!" He spat, and she would gather from his rolling, crazy eyes that his near death experience had sufficiently managed to push this guy over the edge. "You ruined it you mutie bitch! If they know you're the reason it failed, I'll never be able to go back! I'm gonna kill you, you little cu-"

"I suggest you don't finish dhat vord." A three-fingered, white-gloved hand appeared on the Purifier's shoulder, yanking him around, Kurt's other hand already prepared to deal some serious damage to the other man's face.

"Kurt, no! Gun!"

Her warning had come to late. By the time Kurt's punch had connected, the Purifier's trigger finger had also squeezed. The bullet originally meant for Julia flew in a brilliant splash of red. Blood red.

Scarlet bloomed from a ragged hole in Kurt's chest, no bigger than a quarter, but the blood leaking down his chest gave an entirely different impression of the damage done. He crumpled to the ground, hands weakly pressed over the wound, his eyes, already beginning to dull, swinging in her direction.

Something inside Julia broke.

Pain forgotten, Julia forced herself to her feet, taking the Purifier down with a brutal swipe with a blade-like arm. Rage was driving her, she couldn't even summon the concentration to make claws instead of the blade. She felt the nerves from the middle of his spine and down die, and she made damn sure they were going to stay that way. A hand wrapped around his throat, Julia's feet seeming to move of their own volition and carrying them both to the edge of the roof. His useless feet still rested on the edge of the roof, his previously paralyzed arm dangling at his side, while his other hand clutched at the vice-grip she had on his wind-pipe.

"Who gave you that goddamn bomb? Who put you up to this?"

"Please...please don't drop me..." He was choking from lack of air, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "I'll tell...you...everything! Just...let me live!"

"You shot Kurt. Your life means absolutely shit to me right now." If fear hadn't been in his eyes before, it definitely was now. Julia felt sickeningly satisfied with it.

"The...the Reverand. J-Jefferson Telmond. Please...please you can't kill me."

"Wanna bet?" Julia released her hand. He seemed to fall in slow-motion at first, but the nearer he got to the ground, the faster he seemed to be going. She was only vaguely aware of camera flashes from down below as she turned and sprinted back to Kurt's fallen form. Blood had pooled beneath him, though she didn't have nearly enough medical knowledge to know whether it was a fatal amount. She pressed one hand over both of his, trying not to think about how cold his fingers were, and pulled the communicator out of his ear, realizing hers had gone missing somewhere.

"Hank?" She couldn't cry when she was in this form, but her voice was tremoring enough to tell her she would be bawling if she could.

"Julia? What in the Devil's name is going on up there?" Hank demanded in response.

"Hank I need you..." Her voice left her for a moment, a dry sob breaking from her throat "-I think Kurt is dying. Help me..."

* * *

><p>The other X-Men were on the roof in three seconds flat. Hank, Logan, and Marcy appeared first, the others evidently retrieving the jet to get Kurt back to the Mansion as soon as possible. Julia was only vaguely aware of Marcy's hands tenderly pulling hers away, encouraging her as gently as she could to move away. After a moment of not really comprehending the words, Julia felt Logan take her by the shoulders and pull her into the Blackbird which had just arrived, Hank carrying Kurt in right on their heels.<p>

"Is he going to live?" Julia asked, watching Hank apply wad of gauze after wad of gauze to Kurt's chest.

"I dunno Jules..." Logan said, sounding nearly as bad as she felt. "Listen, where's the Purifier?" He looked like this was the last thing he wanted to talk about, but they both knew it was his obligation.

"I threw him off the roof."

"What?"

"He shot Kurt. I threw him off the roof."

"You can't be serious." When she only stared back at him, Logan's jaw slackened slightly. "Jesus Christ, Jules, do you have any idea how many people saw ya do that?"

"No. And I don't really care. He had it coming."

"That is _not_ the issue-"

"I don't care."

The scary part was, she really didn't. Julia didn't regret it, not even a little bit.

* * *

><p>Scott Summers stood rigid in the hallway outside the infirmary, his eyes -hidden behind their ruby quartz lenses- focused so hard on the door his vision was beginning to blur. Jean stood beside him.<p>

"Kurt's got a good chance of recovering Scott."

"Good, but not great," Scott replied, repeating Hank's exact words. Assuming Kurt was to recover from the initial wound and blood-loss, Hank hadn't been able to say at this stage whether their acrobatic friend would ever have the full use of his right arm again. Having his athletic ability crippled, even slightly, would be like Kurt suddenly losing his ability to teleport. He would be devastated. Of course, all things considered, he might be more devastated when they had to tell him that Julia had murdered someone. And that none among them were able to justify it.

There was no way to justify what she had done, seemingly in cold blood. Logan had tried, had attempted to stand up for her, but even he hadn't been able to give a reason for it beyond revenge. And though Julia was a friend, was an X-Man, there was no way they could make excuses for her, they would have to call the authorities, they were going to have to turn her in. Scott didn't like it, not in the least, but Julia had left them no choice.

He was aware of Jean leaving him with a small sigh, but was unable to pull himself from his brooding long enough to say anything. He hated this. He hated the very idea of turning one of their own over to the MRD, but how could they not, considering half the world had seen Julia's actions on the news or the internet by now? The video had gone viral in a matter of hours. It would totally destroy what little credibility the X-Men had if they didn't turn her in, but somewhere deep down, Scott realized how much he truly despised when it came down to needs of the many versus the needs of the one. It never seemed like the right choice when that's what it became.

Turning, Scott strolled down to the Danger Room, where they had been keeping Julia 'secluded' as the Professor put it. They didn't want to say they were keeping her locked up, but the Danger Room was the only place she would have a difficult time getting out of if she had intended to escape somehow. He pressed the button beside the door to unlock it, and before the door had even opened all the way, a streak of black lightning shot over his head.

It felt to Scott like having a close brush with something highly electrical, only it was as cold as ice.

"Julia, no!" She was running, he knew that within seconds. Did she know they had been planning to turn her in? Or was her concern for Kurt merely outweighing her concern about anything else? She touched down for only a moment, fifteen feet down the hall from him, landing daintily on the ball of her foot, like an ethereal shadow of a poised ballerina, before shooting around the corner in a second streak of pure energy, the trail fading before he had even taken his first steps of pursuit.

Julia's matter transportation wasn't long range. Fifteen feet easily, maybe thirty when she really pushed it, but when she moved at something close to the speed of light, it was more than enough of a head start.

Scott punched the wall at his side. She must have thought he was coming down here to deliver her sentence, her fate. He had only been coming to apologize.

_Jean, Julia is running. We have to try and catch her. _

_ How-? I'll check the infirmary. That's probably where she went. _No doubt Scott would have to answer for letting her escape later, but now they had to try and deal with this.

* * *

><p>The infirmary seemed empty, but as Hank and Jean closed the door after checking for their supposed escaping teammate, a shadow in the corner suddenly came to life, rising to the height of a woman, and settling in the chair by the only occupied bed. A heart monitor beeped reassuringly, and he was breathing on his own, but Kurt Wagner looked utterly lifeless, the right side of his chest wrapped in heavy gauze.<p>

The mutant beside the bed made a sound somewhere between a sigh and a sob, and her powers petered out, her hair falling over her slumped form like a cloak of despair. Silence permeated the room.

"I'm sorry," She finally said aloud, speaking it seemed, more to the room than the one she had come here to visit. "I'm so sorry Kurt..." Another period of silence. "I know this isn't the choice you would want me to make. I know if you were awake you would try to convince me otherwise. I know who was responsible for what happened in Boston, and I'm going to make him pay, for what he tried to do to that building, and for what he did to you. I can't go to the others...they...they wouldn't believe a word I said now. The police wouldn't either; they wouldn't do a damn thing. So I'm going to do it myself. It's not the normal people who need protection from mutants, it's mutants who need protection from them. When you wake up, I won't be here. Truth be told, I don't know if we'll ever see each other again...and I'm sorry for that-"

A sound outside the door drew her attention upward, and in seconds, she was back in her dark, shadowy form. She stood, pressed a kiss to his lips, and had vanished through the window before Logan appeared in the doorway, convinced he had heard her voice only moments before.

* * *

><p>"What are the chances we'll find her?" Marcy was the first to voice the question they were all pondering.<p>

"Not good." Professor Xavier shook his head. "Even with Cerebro, I doubt I'll be able to detect her, her powers are too adept now." He turned to Logan. "Will you be able to track her?"

"Not likely Chuck." Logan shook his head. "She's got no scent in her energy form, and dependin' on how far she goes like that, it might be days, or even weeks before I could pick it up."

"Then I guess...we have to wait for her to make a move," Scott deduced.

"Yes, and we can only pray she does nothing rash." The Professor folded his hands.

Marcy piped up again. "How are we going to tell Kurt?"

The silence was answer enough. No one knew, and no one wanted to be the bearer of that particular bit of bad news.


	17. Chapter 17

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Let's see...nothing to report here other than the fact that updates will probably really, really slow down. Got a bit of schooly-stuff to be working on. However, there will be some discussion of stuff in the end, which I can't put here because they will be spoilers for this chapter. :)_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 17<strong>

The Greyhoud was moving slowly. Too slowly it seemed to Julia. She had already been on it for a couple hours, though she had honestly lost track, and they were only as far as Pennsylvania. She wondered if the whole trip would be this way.

Unable to come up with any alternative, Julia had been forced to consider returning to Arizona, and ask whether Nana Hayle would be willing to hide her out while she tried to sort this out. 'This' referring to the fact she had killed a man for the sake of cold, hard vengeance; and that she was very nearly planning to do it again. She knew there was another man, one higher up among the Purifiers ranks, who was equally as responsible for what had happened in Boston, even if he had only acted vicariously. She knew his name, and that he was most likely legitimately a Reverend, and she didn't think he would be hard to find when she considered his name was a little on the odd side. She didn't particularly want to kill him, but she wanted...something. To see him punished, to see some form of justice which she knew, very well, neither the X-Men nor the law would be willing to give her. She had punished the man in Boston for trying to take Kurt away from her, and knew it was as close as justice as she was likely ever going to get, especially considering it had shattered her place with the X-Men. She had been absolutely unable to deal with the thought of a world without Kurt Wagner, and though she had known in the back of her mind that it wouldn't help, she had wanted the Purifier to suffer, somehow, for who and what he had tried to destroy.

Julia slouched deeper into the long black coat she had stolen from Rogue's room before leaving the mansion, realizing she had been glaring hard enough at the seat-back in front of her that the passenger next to her was beginning to fidget uncomfortably. She shifted slightly to make sure as much of her costume was covered up as possible; she hadn't really wanted to take the time to change -she'd barely managed to steal the coat and hide- but she knew the big X theme with the straps and the bold blue and yellow would be hard to miss. Plus, it was easier to throw the coat somewhere when she had to transport somewhere rather than an entire set of clothes. Like through an open window onto the Greyhound. No one had noticed her, while they were all busy arranging themselves, but she supposed she would have to leave in the same fashion seeing as she still lacked a ticket. Still, she wished now she had at least thought to recover Kurt's birthday present, it would have been nice to take one good thing away with her at least. She touched her bare neck, wondering if, when he found it, Kurt would keep it, or he would throw it away.

Kurt's chances seemed good. She had overheard that before being locked in the Danger Room. Hank thought he would recover, though how fully was anyone's guess. Part of her heart broke, knowing that despite all this, she, personally, would still be living in a world without him. Considering that it had been a publicly aired act of mutant violence, she honestly wasn't sure how long she'd be living in any sort of world at all. The Government probably wouldn't take any direct steps against her, but vigilantes, now, those were another story. No doubt they were burning her likeness in several locations, never mind the Purifiers had been willing to nuke Boston to get rid of a few mutants. Still, more than anything, she regretted not being there for him in a time when he could probably use her support. She regretted leaving when she'd only just managed to admit she loved him out loud. The worst, the most most painful thought though, was that she had betrayed him. He had believed in her, in her ability to be a hero, the same as the rest of them, and she had utterly destroyed that. Would he understand why? Or had she condemned herself in his eyes too? Even Logan, the one person she had expected to understand hadn't been sympathetic to her reasons for taking the law into her own hands.

Julia glanced up, suddenly realizing the bus was coming to a stop, and judging from the reaction of the other passengers, it was not expected. Her body tensed. Had someone found her already? Police? MRD? Purifiers? Perhaps the X-Men? Too many possibilities. She decided it would be prudent to leave.

She stood and slid past the middle-aged woman who had been her seat mate, but almost the exact second she set foot in the center aisle of the bus, the roof, quite literally, was torn off off the bus like the lid off a can of sardines. Instinctively, Julia shifted to her other form, her feet braced evenly on the floor, prepared for a fight, but knew, whatever or whoever it was, would not be an easy fight. They were clearly powerful, and her own powers were still proving to be on the finicky side, thanks to the nuclear incident.

"Ah, there you are. Eclipse, is it? I'm glad I've found you."

Her eyes shot up to the early morning sky, and she was not entirely surprised to see someone floating there, an elder man, around Professor Xavier's age she would guess, in a helmet and cape, rather after the fashion of old-school heroes perhaps.

"I don't believe we have met," He said to her pleasantly, as though he hadn't just torn the roof off a Greyhoud, however he may have done so. He was also distinctly ignorant of the other passengers, who were on the verge of panic, though between the floating man and Julia, seemed too fearful to move.

"I think I would remember it," Julia replied, matching his pleasantry with as much dryness as she could muster.

"Now, now, there's no need to be so terse. I came to you with an offer."

"Of what sort?" On the one hand, she had no intention of joining any sort of criminal organization, on the other, the show of power made her feel it would be prudent to listen to this man.

"I think you will find that your former friends among the X-Men-" Inwardly, Julia winced, unnerved that he knew so much about her, "-have called the MRD dogs out on you. And it seems they are quite intent on catching you. I, however, would much regret to see someone with so much raw talent be locked away with the common rabble." There was a hint of unpleasantness now with his smirk, though Julia thought, or at least, would like to believe, that it was not aimed at her. "In fact, I rather thought you would fit in quite well with the Brotherhood."

Then that confirmed her guess. She was indeed conversing with the Mutant Overlord himself. Magneto. She didn't know whether the idea filled her more with awe or terror. She supposed, truthfully, it came down to why he was here. Why he had sought her out this way.

"I'm not taking anyone's side, or joining anymore teams. That didn't go so well last time," Julia commented. She knew that if it came down to a fight, Magneto was going to have a pretty steep advantage over her. Not only was he one of the most powerful mutants on the planet, he was also twenty feet above her head, and had the entire bus to work with as a weapon. She probably wouldn't stand a chance of taking him down. But escape...escape could be do-able. She had absorbed enough energy from the bomb to keep her going for awhile yet, just so long as her powers cooperated. All she had to do was wait for an opening.

"Ah, yes," Magneto floated down to the floor of the bus, directly before her, folding his hands behind his back.,"-you have my sympathies for what happened to Nightcrawler in Boston."

The words were like a kick straight into Julia's chest. Magneto seemed to know he had found a chink in her armor, and continued to press it.

"Don't you wish to avenge him?"

"If you saw what happened in Boston, you know what I did. You know I tried," Julia shot back through her teeth. She tried to keep her tone as level as possible, if nothing else, she didn't want to make the soft spot any more obvious.

"Indeed you did." Magneto nodded, and looked, surprisingly, sympathetic. "Was it enough? Are you satisfied?"

"I don't know! Why does it matter to you anyway?" She asked vehemently. She was having a hard enough time trying to figure out what she was going to do as it was, the last thing she needed was Magneto coming along and trying to turn her to his side and use her as a pawn in his game of world domination.

"Because an attack on one is an attack on all mutant kind. Killing one of them won't stop the others from continuing to crawl about and causing more unnecessary pain. Join us, Eclipse, and we can destroy them all. We can prevent them from ever harming another mutant."

"I don't want to join a war."

Magneto scoffed. "A war? This is no war my dear, this is our fight to survive."

"Survival of the fittest then, is it?"

"I suppose that's the...simple way of putting it." Magneto nodded.

"And what about the innocent people?" Julia waved a hand at the bus passengers, though it was perhaps a bit of an assumption that they were all innocent. "How many like this just get caught in the cross-fire?"

"We spare who we can. Those who wish to accept Homo Superior as their new masters."

Julia crossed her arms. "And if I don't want to be anybody's master?"

"Then you shall at least be your own. You won't have to follow any of Charles' absurd rules any longer, you don't have to pretend to be weaker than you are. Join me, and you will be able to protect those you love, by any means you deem necessary."

Julia's arms slackened slightly, and she hated to admit that thoughts of escape were starting to fade. She was actually listening to him, and his ideals were starting to sound like they might be more in line with her own. Then again, when she really thought about it, she supposed Magneto wasn't turning out to be nearly as evil and maniacal as the X-Men had always made him sound. Well, she supposed Kurt had usually taken the non-committal approach.

"And I don't see why I can't do that on my own," She said, despite his warm and friendly attitude towards her she was still a little skeptical of how sincere Magneto was being. There was always the possibility it was a ruse and Magneto was in fact as homicidal as the news made him sound.

"I suppose you could. But how long do you imagine you will last on your own?"

"As long as I can." She had been planning to wait for some kind of opening for her escape, but it was fairly apparent that Magneto wasn't going to give her one. She kicked her powers into gear and materialized straight up, leaving him staring at Rogue's empty coat. People screamed, but she ignore them, and Magneto simply smiled, as though he had known this would be her response. A wave of his hand had the roof reshaped into a dome, and directly in Julia's trajectory. She solidified inches from a collision and changed directions, breaking down again and bolting her particles to the side, thinking that maybe if she could just get around his impromptu barrier, she would be home free.

Julia supposed she should have known it wouldn't be so easy. She landed haphazardly on the ground outside the bus, and was now faced with a pretty brunette in red. They met gazes for only the briefest second, and Julia knew instantly that the woman was just as serious a threat as Magneto. She twisted again, preparing to head in the opposite direction, but a red sphere emerged around her from thin air, a single tendril of power connecting it to the brunette's hand.

Julia froze, unsure of how to react to the new energy field. It was totally foreign, something she had never encountered before, and she wasn't sure she wanted to absorb it. It made her skin tingle in a very, very bad way.

"I see Father was right in thinking magic would still affect you."

_Magic?_ Julia spared the thought only a moment, trying instead to decide if her claws could at least break the field long enough for her to get out. In her particle state, she wouldn't need a lot of space. Only an inch or two, a tiny gap. But she had also never tried to cut any sort of energy manifestation like this; she had never had a reason to. This, she supposed, was as good a time to try as any.

Julia formed her claws, and charged at the energy wall before her, taking a swipe at it, and instantly regretted her choice. The two energies collided with cataclysmic force, propelling Julia back, into the other side of the sphere, and she felt her body dematerializing from the inside out.

It was nearly as painful as the very first time her body had broken down into plasma, and it was equally as terrifying because she had no clue whether she would be able to put herself back together if she came totally apart. She groaned and curled her body inwards, trying with all her might to hold her body together.

The sphere around her faded, and her deterioration ceased as quickly, leaving an off-balance Julia haphazardly staying on her feet when her legs felt like they were only half solid, her skin sparking and flickering as it tried to return to its normal state.

"Scarlet Witch's Hex Spheres tend to cause slight...abnormalities in mutant powers, as I'm sure you've guessed." Magneto had floated back through his convenient hole in the ceiling to land near the brunette. "Though I had hoped you wouldn't have made such a rash decision."

"I don't particularly enjoy being threatened Magneto."

"No, I'm sure you don't." He smiled slightly, as though finding her resistance highly amusing. "Which is why this is not a threat. This is truly for your own good Eclipse. Less than a mile ahead the MRD are waiting for you, and I can assure you they are fully prepared for your capabilities. Even if you were to escape them, I doubt you will be able to elude them for long."

She looked between the brunette, Scarlet Witch, and Magneto, realizing that he was making a very valid point. They had found her easily, almost too easily, and apparently Magneto hadn't had a hard time of it either; she knew her chances weren't nearly as good on her own, but still...still, what would she be getting herself into if she listened to Magneto? If she joined him? Couldn't be much worse than what had happened after joining the X-Men she supposed; hopefully minus watching the love of her life getting shot.

"We understand if you would rather have some time to consider, especially since you only just left the X-Men," Scarlet Witch said, her voice kind, "-but we wanted to at least offer you sanctuary; a place to rest and recover while you decide what you want to do. Will you at least accept that?" She stepped forward, and stretched a hand out to Julia in an offer of friendship.

Julia watched her for a moment, trying to determine how truthful she was being, and not really liking the fact that the woman had felt the need to try and disintegrate her before offering a hand of peace.

"I suppose...I don't really have a choice, do I?" She questioned.

"You always have a choice Eclipse. We just want to help you make the right one."

"...Alright. I'll go with you. Just until I figure this out a little more, nothing else; I'm not going to join any of your fights. And never, ever do the magic thing on me again."

"It's a deal. I only wanted to make sure we had your attention." Scarlet Witch smiled when Julia reached out and shook her hand, though Julia imagined her own face was less than friendly.

* * *

><p>The entire right side of his torso was on fire. Kurt came fully awake with a strong German oath, staring at the ceiling of the mansion's infirmary.<p>

When had he gotten here? How long had he been here? He tried to get up, but his left arm was weak, and his right appeared to be useless. His breath caught when he realized he couldn't move his right arm, couldn't even force his elbow to bend. Horror ripped through him, but a sharp turn of his head proved that, at the very least, it was still attached. He sighed, but his lung on that side hurt just like everything else, and it was more a wheeze.

He needed to know what was going on. What had happened on the rooftop. He didn't even remember what had gotten him here in the first place, just that it hurt, and badly. And Julia. Where was Julia? Had the bomb hurt her after all? Was she okay?

Evidently sensing his distress, Jean stepped through the infirmary door to his left.

"Good to see you awake Kurt." She smiled, through it was rather thin.

Barely hesitating, he promptly returned with: "Vhere is Jyulia?"

"She's resting, don't worry. You should rest too; Hank says you'll need a couple more surgeries on your shoulder so it will heal properly."

Kurt didn't really need to be a psychic to know Jean was keeping something from him. She had never been much good at lying. "Jean, vhere is she? Is she okay? Vhat happened?"

"She's gone," Said Logan's gruff voice from the doorway.

"Vhat?" Kurt's jaw suddenly felt detached from the rest of his face. Jean turned, presumably to shoot Logan a nasty look, but it was met with even neutrality.

"She left Elf. Dunno where to, but Julia ain't here."

"Logan," Jean hissed through her teeth, obviously thinking he was going about it the entirely wrong way.

"Didja people seriously think that wasn't going to be his first flamin' question? Are ya'll blind fer Cris'sake?" Logan rolled his eyes.

"Vait, vait, argue later, vhat do you mean Jyulia is gone? Somevone explain!" Kurt demanded, realizing that what had become one of his biggest fears the last few months seemed to have occurred while he was unconscious and unable to do anything at all about it. Had Julia really left? Without even telling him? Without even waiting for him to wake up?

"Kurt, listen," Jean said, having taken over the conversation again, "-we don't know for certain what happened on the rooftop, not yet at least. What we do know is that Julia ran away, almost as soon as we got you both home. Kurt, we think she probably killed the guy who was trying to set off the bomb."

"_Was?_ No! There's no vay-"

"He didn't jump offa the building cuz he was having a bad day Elf. She threw him." Again, Logan bluntly filled in the subject Jean was hesitant to discuss, and again, he was shot a dirty look by the red-headed telepath who was trying to break the news to Kurt as gently as she could.

Thus far, Kurt didn't think even the gentlest of tactics would have softened the blow. He stared at his teammates, gaping, unable to settle his tumultuous thoughts enough to carry on the conversation. How, how had this happened? He had to find her, he had to talk to her. _Something_ had to be done.

"Would ya take a walk Jeannie?"

"Logan-"

"Just trust me. There ain't no easy way to talk about this." Though she looked as if she would rather argue the point with him, Jean glanced at Kurt, then nodded and returned to the hall, leaving Logan to deal with the difficult conversation. Absently, Kurt thought that it was rather kind of Logan to spare Jean from having to do it; as a telepath she would be able to hear his thoughts, feel his heartbreak and his pain. It was probably better that Logan do it.

"Is it true?" Kurt asked. "Did she...do you really dhink she killed him?"

"I...yeah. I don't think there's two ways about it. She admitted she threw him off the roof for shootin' ya. But I don't think that was all she did. Sounds like his nerves were all mess up too; she mighta tortured him first."

Kurt's heart sank. Logan and Julia had been fairly good friends, if he thought she had done it, than Kurt was almost tempted to believe it as well. But how could he? How could he believe that Julia would so easily discard everything that had made her one of the team? When he really thought about it though, Kurt wondered whether Julia had ever truly felt like one of the team. She had always been angry, always been carrying around hatred. Most in the X-Men had simply learned to accept that they were always going to treated with fear and loathing, but Julia hadn't been able to, hadn't wanted to. She hadn't be able to swallow her anger, but she had been able to hide it.

He had known this, but had been unable to help her.

Kurt supposed he had, a little naively perhaps, thought that loving her would make it easier. Maybe he had thought that if he loved her enough, she could let her anger go. Now, he began to wonder if it had only made matters worse. Would she have reacted so severely if not for the fact the Purifier had shot him? He didn't think so.

"Logan, ve have to find her."

"I know. We will, sooner or later. Fer now though Elf, you just worry about healing. Ya ain't gonna be able to do much of anythin' with your arm all gimped up."

Kurt glanced disdainfully at the useless appendage that had once been his arm, smiling in a rueful fashion when he found he was still incapable of moving it. As much as he hated it, his own recovery had to come first.

"Logan...vhy do you think she left vithout vaiting to tell me?"

The gruff, smallish Canadian watched Kurt evenly for a moment, then shook his head. "In my experience, when you gotta make a choice you really don't want to, it's easier ta just go then try and talk about it. I suppose she thought she was sparin' ya both as much pain as possible over her leavin' the X-Men."

Kurt looked down again, contemplating. But she _hadn't _just left the X-Men, she had left him; without even waiting for him to be conscious enough to give him a reason why. He didn't like to admit he was thinking it, but that _had _to mean that something bad had gone down on that rooftop in Boston. Had she really killed someone? Could he possibly deny it when so much evidence was stacking up against her? He knew her better than he knew most people, and was more or less positive that if Julia had been innocent of any wrong-doing, she would have stuck around and slapped whoever had dared accuse her of murder.

But she had fled.

Kurt's good hand curled over his wounded shoulder, ignoring the pain that flared up from the action. He had to get better, and then he had to find her, no matter what. And he wanted to find her before anyone else did, he wanted answers from her, no one else.

* * *

><p>Like the X-Mansion, Magneto's home base, or so Julia called it since she didn't know whether it had an official name, seemed to function as a sanctuary for mutants.<p>

Blink, a young mutant with bright pink hair and paler purple skin, had been the method of transportation to the location, by way of a large pink portal, and she was hardly the most unusual one wandering about. As a matter of fact, a woman who could have very nearly passed as a female version of Kurt save for the red hair and lack of a tail was striding towards the group who had just emerged from the portal. She gave Julia a once over, and then smirked slightly, showing rather predatory teeth.

"So, X-Men, huh? Didn't quite work out I'm guessing, seeing as you're here." Julia was at the moment unable to answer, stunned that there was yet another mutant out there with a blue skin tone and yellow, pupil-less eyes. She couldn't quite decide what it was yet, but there was just something about the woman...

She realized suddenly that she had been asked another question. "Sorry?"

"I said, do you have a problem?" The subject of her stare demanded rather hotly.

"No, sorry. This is just a lot to take in. I didn't mean to...well, stare."

"Mystique, don't harass her. She's not part of the X-Men anymore." Scarlet Witch attempted to play referee.

"Left them, or did _they _drop _her_?" Mystique, or so Julia supposed, spoke in little more than a sneer.

"None of your business, is it?" Julia felt her temper flaring, and felt energy spreading from her scalp. She had never really figured out why, but her hair was usually the first thing to shift forms fully, and it was the most effected by her emotions when her energy-form expressed them. In other words, whenever she started getting mad, her hair started to get crazy. "Besides, it's not like it matters. I'll be out of your way in a day or two." She clenched her hand, and reigned her anger back in. It wouldn't do her any good to lash out like that; she was just still a little emotional over what had happened in Boston. Or at least, she didn't want to think she was letting a single remark stir her up so easily.

Mystique, in response, turned away from Julia and appeared to decide she was no longer worth paying any attention too. She spoke now to Magneto and Scarlet Witch: "Sabertooth found the Purifier you were looking for."

"Ah, excellent. Scarlet Witch, why don't you get Eclipse acquainted with the Sanctuary, and then we'll discuss what's to be done with the Purifier."

"Yes, of course. Eclipse, follow me."

As Julia passed her, she noticed that Mystique was watching her from the corner of her eye. She pretended not to pay it any mind, but it still bothered her a little. Was she like this with everyone, or did she have a special instantaneous dislike for Julia?

She supposed it didn't matter, as she was now being led away. "So, mind if I ask a couple questions?"

"Not at all, this is supposed to be your tour after all." The pretty brunette leading her shook her head.

"You called Magneto father earlier, is he really your dad?"

"Yes, why?"

"No reason really, I've just never heard he had kids is all. That's a pretty big legacy to inherit."

"Yes, I suppose it is. Luckily, my brother Quicksilver gets to share the burden."

"Oh, well, that actually leads into my other question. Do you guys call each other by codenames all the time? I mean, no one has called anyone by their first name here."

"We didn't used to. But somewhere along the line it just became a habit. These days, we only use our mutant names because it sets us apart from the normals out there. Father says it's a way of leaving the human world behind."

"Ah. That makes sense." Julia thought that she ought to get used to being known as 'Eclipse' on a permanent basis. She imagined it was going to take a while to grow accustomed to it, she might even miss being called 'Julia' now and then. And she would probably miss being called 'Jyulia' more. She shook her head slightly, dragging it out of reminiscence. "So...are you actually a mutant or are you a sorceress?"

"A little bit of both I suppose." Scarlet Witch answered, smiling slightly. "My mutant ability lets me manipulate probability and a little bit of reality, and essentially I think the two work together, because magic is basically just a way of messing with reality."

"Okay. Well, I was just wondering if I could learn some of that, or if the magic deal was specific to you."

"I could certainly try if you'd like. There is a degree of natural talent that has to go into the bigger spells, but there's no reason you can't at least learn some basics."

"That...that would be cool. Only, I don't really know if I'll be staying long enough to get any lessons in." Julia shrugged and looked off towards towards the edge of the compound, noticing for the first time that they were on an island, as she could see the sea just over the tops of the trees.

"I suppose I should have asked this before, but where are we exactly?"

"Genosha. Father...acquired it in a deal with the UN. We're hoping to one day make it a real sanctuary, an openly all-mutant nation. But...we're still working on it." Scarlet Witch admitted the last line rather quietly, and Julia couldn't help but think it was most likely because Magneto still had visions of subjugating the normal people to deal with before he got around to making his own nation. Still, it at least seemed as though plenty of mutants had found shelter here.

"Okay, one last thing, how in the world did you guys find me so easily? I mean, do you have a Professor and Cerebro knockoff or something?"

"Oh, no, not exactly. But we do have a few mutants with similar talents. And we were trying to keep an eye on that bomb they used in Boston. We knew that when the Purifier had gotten a hold of it, it was probably going to end badly for mutants somewhere. But, I guess since you were there you know..."

"Yeah." Julia's voice sounded a little sharp, even in her own ears. "Sorry."

"It's alright. Were you and Nightcrawler...uhm..."

"Together? Yeah, we were. But I don't suppose that's going to be the case now."

"Oh." Scarlet Witch didn't seem to know what to say to that, and Julia didn't blame her. She didn't imagine she'd know what to say to a total stranger in her situation either. As though wanting to ease the tension that had suddenly cropped up between the two, Scarlet Witch chose to change the subject. "Well, first things first, we're going to need to find you new clothes. Many of the mutants here don't exactly appreciate the fact that the X-Men are on the human's side."

"I...sure." She had almost been about to argue, but quickly remembered that she had come to more or less the same conclusion on her own in the last few months, and she supposed she would have to get used to people bad-mouthing those she had considered friends anyway. It was clear the X-Men's biggest fans didn't live on Genosha.

* * *

><p>Under most circumstances Julia wasn't fond of shopping, but on Genosha all the clothes were so fanciful and mutant-designed, she was having a hard time not enjoying herself a little. There were dresses with wing-spaces cut into the back, fire-proof clothing, clothing with the ability to change shape, and her personal favorite was a set of clothes that changed color with the wearer, for those mutants with chameleon-esque powers; when no one was wearing it, it seemed to be all the colors of the rainbow at the same time.<p>

"So, do you guys have anything that can convert to energy the way I do?" Julia questioned, not knowing whether she was going to need to use her powers, but figuring it wouldn't hurt to be prepared.

"Mm...maybe. If not, I'm sure we've got something close that can be tweaked to match you powers. We may not have Reed Richards, but we've got some pretty brilliant mutant minds on Genosha." Scarlet Witch pulled a a flowing, purple shirt from the rack, handing it to her companion.

"Really? That would be neat, I suppose. Though, I guess if all we're doing is taking a tour I probably won't need to use my powers. Unless Mystique tries to slit my throat on the way." Following Scarlet Witch's gesture, she proceeded into a mirrored cubicle nearby and started stripping out of her uniform.

"Ah, you shouldn't let her get to you Eclipse. She's always like that, but she's entirely too unpredictable for Father to risk losing her. If she was ever told to leave, it's not exactly against her character to turn us all over to the government for petty revenge. If nothing else, she's very effective."

"Sounds like a hostile work environment; to say the least." Julia snorted slightly, looking herself over in the dressing room mirror. Scarlet Witch had selected an outfit with the shirt and tight black pants to replace her X-Men uniform. Her boots, luckily, she had been allowed to keep, seeing as they hadn't had any sort of affiliating marks on them. She glanced at the pile of blue and yellow fabric on the chair in the dressing room, and suddenly felt a powerful tug of nostalgia, even though it had only been approximately twenty-four hours since she had left New York. Would they let her keep the uniform? She didn't really want to discard so many fond memories. Not now.

Seeing her bare throat in the mirror, she was again painfully reminded she hadn't thought to get her necklace. Absently she touched her neck again, feeling wholly incomplete without it. She had rarely taken it off, and now, she would probably never get it back. She wished she had thought to grab it, or at least, had been given an opportunity. Looking back though, she didn't think she could have gotten away at all if she had hesitated longer than she had. _But what would it have mattered anyway? Now I'm being sheltered by international criminals, and I have no idea whether they're really going to help me or just try to use me to their advantage. Throw Mystique into the mix and I think I liked my chances being turned in to the MRD better. At least I knew what was coming. _

"So, do you mind my asking you a question?" Scarlet Witch's voice floated in through the main room of the clothing shop.

"Not all, what kind of question?" Julia pushed her depressing thoughts about the necklace aside.

"Why did you pick the name 'Eclipse'?"

"Well, for starters, because when I use my powers I turn totally dark which I always thought was kind of like an eclipse, you know? Plus, I make light -among other things- disappear, which also made me think of an eclipse. And I suppose when I was really little, I was once told a story about a guy who misjudged the Mayans for being stupid, and he tried to use an eclipse to trick them, but they had known about it for a hundred years basically, so I guess I also thought it was really metaphorical or something about judging people different from you and all that."

"I think that's nice. I mean, I'm Scarlet Witch because I can cast spells and wear red. Not nearly as much thought went into mine." She laughed slightly.

Julia stepped out of the dressing room, carrying her uniform rolled up under her arm. "Well, it suits you, so I think that's as good as anything else. I was going to go by 'Flux' for awhile, but I could just never get used to it. Eclipse always kind of suited me better I guess."

"Suppose that's true. I can hardly see Father being anything besides Magneto." She glanced over at Julia and smiled again. "You look like a real Genoshan now."

"It's comfy," Julia said in response, not wanting to get into the fact she still wasn't planning to be a 'Genoshan'. Everyone seemed to ignore that particular statement anyway.

"Ready for the rest of the tour?"

"Yeah, that would be good."

* * *

><p>Julia could admit to the island being impressive, though it still seemed more militarized then an actual sanctuary ought to be, she supposed until the normals, as they were most often referred to here, truly left them alone they would continue to be prepared for them.<p>

Coming full circle, Julia and Scarlet Witch entered into a particularly large building in the center of the island, which she gathered was the center of their operations, and at the moment, it was all a-buzz with activity.

"What's going on?"

"I'm not sure. Come on." Scarlet Witch started toward the main stairs, Julia following, albeit a little hesitantly. This didn't really seem like something she had a right to be involved in, let alone eavesdrop if she wasn't wanted.

Above, they met Magneto and Mystique, who were conversing rather tersely about something.

"Father, what's happening?"

"It would seem that fool Telmond did not feel the need to take our warning seriously."

_Telmond? _Julia was suddenly glad she had come along. If this was the same Telmond, the one the Purifier in Boston had mentioned...

"What do you mean?"

"He means the good Reverend has continued in the production of his blasted radiation weapons." Mystique snarled. "Now half the Purifiers out there will be packing guns that could kill literally any of us. I told you we should have killed him while we had the chance!" She wheeled on Magneto again, who merely met her fury with a level stare.

Julia, meanwhile, felt nearly the same anger that had been curling in her stomach in Boston emerge again. Telmond, and he was a Reverend, it had to be the Purifier she was after. It was too similar to be a coincidence.

"It was too big a risk. We have yet to discover where he's getting the technology."

"Why does that matter? He's the one producing it, that's good enough. But now Sabertooth can't get too close without getting fried. Even Quicksilver probably wouldn't be able to get to him without getting a-bombed."

"I could do it."

Simultaneously, all eyes in the room turned to Julia, ranging from surprise to utter contempt.

"Look, don't get me wrong. I'm not volunteering to join the Brotherhood or sacrifice myself for your cause or anything like that; but I can survive radiation, as far as I know. It hasn't managed to seriously hurt me, and it hasn't had any weird side-effects after the first time. This Reverend Telmond owes me something anyway."

"Ah, yes," Magneto nodded, "-he proffered the bomb you stopped in Boston, correct?"

"Yeah, that's right. So I want a piece of him as much as anybody else."

Magneto gave a little smirk, part-way between amused and annoyed. "And you expect us to help you get revenge? What do we gain?"

"It gets you what you want too. You want him gone, he'll be gone."

"Unless of course, you suddenly re-grow your X-Man conscience," Mystique snorted.

"Then send someone with me, Quicksilver or Sabertooth or whoever. Hell, send them both, but there's no way I can let him get away. And he will if your people can't get to him."

"I'm sorry Eclipse, this mission is something I would trust to no one but one of my Brotherhood."

"Fine. Then consider this my test-run." The words left Julia's mouth before she had even fully processed them. Even so, she realized it was an exchange she was fully willing to make. She figured she had officially left her morality with her first murder, there was no sense in pretending she wanted to repent, or didn't have to urge to put a permanent stop to the Purifiers and all their horrible deeds. She _didn't _feel any real regret over what she had done, beyond not doing it fast enough to possibly save Kurt from getting a hole blown in him; and she _didn't _see anything wrong with serving the Purifiers their own brand of justice. They didn't think mutants should be on the planet, and she felt the same about them. All those mutants they had hurt, murdered, humiliated, they deserved justice, justice they wouldn't get in human courts, nor, most likely, from the X-Men.

And she was willing to play the part of avenger.

* * *

><p><em>Second Author's Note: So, I realize this chapter may seem a little melo-dramatic, but hey, it's based off a comic book, right? Anyway, this is mostly meant to explain my line-up for the Brotherhood and Magneto. Admittedly, it's more chiefly based off of 'Wolverine and the X-Men' or the game 'X-Men Legends' <em>_style Magneto and the Brotherhood, especially with Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver being here. Personally, I really like them as part of the Brotherhood._

_So, why I chose the line-up I did is chiefly for the two following reasons: I am particularly fond of Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, Mystique and Sabertooth being in the Brotherhood, and Wanda's powers are freaking badass; and also because I wanted an excuse to bring up the fact that Julia's main weakness is magic. She was starting to feel a little overpowered so I wanted to establish the fact it is totally possible to hurt her and bring her back down a little. :) Anyway, I'm still working out a lot of the details as far as the Brotherhood goes; this is starting to get pretty AU in all honesty, as it really doesn't follow any story arcs at all, __but I suppose that's okay. Any complaints, and I suppose you can try to fight it out with me. You won't win though, because it's my story. :)  
><em>

_Last but not least, I just finished a little doodle of what Eclipse's Brotherhood uniform is going to look like, so I will be posting a link to that in the next chapter. _


	18. Chapter 18

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Well well, here we go again. :) This chapter was a little more fun because it wasn't as dramatic, and because I enjoy picking on Cyclops I guess. :) Anyway, the outfit Eclipse wears while with the Brotherhood is now my profile picture, because I didn't feel like uploading another one. And...I think that's it. :)_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 18<strong>

Naturally, though Julia had been perfectly fired up to go have a crack at Reverend Telmond right away, she had been forced to wait until she was properly geared up in the Brotherhood equivalent to her uniform. She had considered just wearing her X-Men one, but Magneto had made it clear that simply wouldn't do, and Julia didn't really wanted to accidentally frame the X-Men or something anyway.

It was a fairly simple little get up, a short purple and black top with a cowl-like hood attached -convenient for hiding her face- her old boots, and pants and fingerless opera gloves made of a an odd, inky, lycra-like material, which was somewhat shiny when the light caught it. She hadn't had a chance to test it yet, though Magneto had assured her that it would work just as well as the X-Men suit had, despite not having Reed Richards in on the design.

She could sense the others were watching her; they didn't know whether they were ready to trust her with this is not. Truth be told, she wasn't sure she trusted herself to go through with it either; maybe once she got close to the Reverend, her anger would fail her and she would lose what was driving her. She pulled the cowl-like hood further over her face, hiding herself from their view as well as she could. A ponytail, which would -in theory at least- contain her hair after her transformation, threaded through a gap in the back of the hood. They hadn't been able to figure out how to get the hood to work with her hair, and she had really been sold on it; she felt like since she was sort of on the bad guys' side now, she ought to have a little anonymity. So she had cut a hole in the back and Magneto had created an energy-conducting ponytail-holder. She personally didn't feel like it looked silly, nor did she particularly feel like she would care if it did.

Blink's portal appeared before Julia and Mystique, the pair planning to head to the mainland and meet up with Quicksilver and Sabertooth, and a couple other mutants who formed the actual Brotherhood on the mainland. Magneto technically led it, there was no question of that, but he was very rarely in the field these days; being more concerned with the running of Genosha. Julia supposed she ought to feel privileged the Magneto had made the trip to recruit her. However, it would likely be drowned out by the negative attitude she had towards being sent off with Mystique; the woman still seemed to hate her for no apparent reason.

The portal placed them in the yard of a small apartment complex, which she guessed was in the less populated outskirts of New York City. She raised an eyebrow; to think, all this time the Brotherhood had been less than an hour from the X-Men's own outpost.

"How'd you guys keep from getting detected so close to Xavier's?"

"You'd be surprised what a little lead and wiring will do against a telepath." Mystique smiled, perhaps in a pleased fashion.

A blur of color shot out of the doorway, coming to a halt so abruptly before the two women that the air-pressure gusted their hair back.

"Newgirlhuh? X-Mendidn'tquiteworkoutforyou?"

"Er...what?" The sentences, if that's what they had been, had come out as a single word in one breath. Judging from the fact he could easily pass as a twenty-years younger Magneto, Julia was willing to bet money this was Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch's brother. Looking annoyed and hauling in a slow breath that seemed to take far more effort than it should have, he spoke again, this time coherently.

"You're the ex-X-man then, huh?"

"Suppose I am."

"You gonna do this?'

"Uh-huh. You gonna nitpick the whole time I'm here? I think I'll get enough of that from her." She jabbed a thumb at Mystique, who made an annoyed sound, but Quicksilver flashed a quick smirk, so fast she scarcely caught it.

"Don't think I'll have to. Father told you the details?"

"Most of them. You sure you can outrun the guns?"

"Girl, I can outrun anything." He scoffed and waved a hand. "Wanna demonstration?"

"No, no, just wanted to make sure nobody is risking their neck unnecessarily." Julia raised her hands in a placating way, not wanting to get off to a bad start with Quicksilver. He was, after all, going to be her back-up should things go awry.

"Good. Mr. Telmond should be arriving home soon, we should get started." Quicksilver was gone, quite literally, in a flash, and Julia glanced back at Mystique.

"Don't worry, we're driving. He can't sit still, it would probably kill him if he tried."

* * *

><p>"You know Hank's going to be very angry when he finds out his patient escaped, don't you?"<p>

Not quite able to feel sheepish -being locked in the infirmary had been starting to drive him crazy- Kurt merely shrugged to Jean's question as the powerful psychic floated toward his spot on the roof, held aloft by telekinisis.

"I don't do vell staring at vhite valls all day."

"Because you have nothing better to do than think about Julia." Jean voiced the silent part of the statement, and Kurt furrowed his brows slightly.

"It's not polite to listen into other's private thoughts _liebchen_."

"Sorry. Telepathy is hard to turn off though, and you're sitting up here spreading a dark cloud over the entire institute." Jean's feet landed daintily on the edge of the roof, and she stood next to Kurt's perched form on the small tower at the front of the school.

A place, he remembered somewhat bitterly, where he and Julia had spent a lot of time.

"How's the arm?" Jean questioned, when he didn't respond to her first statement.

"Better. Hank thinks I'll be ready for physical therapy in anodher veek or two." He flexed the fingers of his arm secured in a sling experimentally, pleased to see they were working more or less normally. A little painful, but he was glad to have movement at all.

"But he probably wouldn't think you were ready for climbing anything yet," Jean reprimanded lightly.

"It's okay. I teleported."

There was a silence between the two, each occupied with different thoughts. And Jean was seeming to realize that no amount of chiding was going to change the fact he felt rather melancholy.

"You guys were really great for each other, you know. You were both happy."

"Ja. But I couldn't fix vhat she didn't vant me to."

"Nobody would have asked you to. You don't always have to be the knight in shining armor, or the suave pirate, as you might prefer. You don't always have to be rescuing damsels in distress, sometimes we have to handle our problems ourselves." Jean had a look of empathy in her eyes, and Kurt knew she was probably thinking of her namesake, the Phoenix Force. As destructive and powerful as it was, Jean had always tried to keep it under control herself, she had never wanted help from her teammates, not even Scott.

However, that was another matter entirely. Kurt felt like he _should _have been able to make Julia feel better, make her feel like no one else mattered so long as her friends, so long as he, loved her. That said, Jean made a point, he wasn't a miracle worker. Which did little to make him feel better about the current situation, Julia was AWOL and God only knew where she was and what she was doing. A frustrated sigh escaped Kurt, and his head hung slightly. He wanted to look for her, but he wouldn't be much use until his arm healed up a little, and he wasn't entirely sure what he would do when he found her. He wouldn't know what to say, he didn't know if he would be able to make a distinction between helping her and doing what was right if that's what the choice became.

"Listen," Jean laid a hand on Kurt's shoulder, nearly startling him he had been momentarily so deep in thought. "I know you're worried about her, and we all know you miss her. We'll figure something out-"

"You mean ve'll turn her over to de MRD und let them lock her up for the rest of her life. Or maybe kill her if dhey decide she's still dangerous. Jyulia's not a criminal Jean, ve shouldn't treat her like vone."

Frustration flashed in Jean's eyes for a moment, a moment long enough for her get a sentence out. "And for some reason Julia deserves to get away with murder?"

"You've alvays let Logan off pretty easily," Kurt snapped back, and knew it had been a bit on the uncalled-for side. The relationship between Logan, Jean, and Scott was always a little on the tense side, and most of the X-Men had followed a silent creed to never speak about it aloud. Silently, Kurt waited for Jean to snap back at him, but she never said a word. He glanced at her and found the red-head to be shaking her head.

"It's different when we're out in the open and she kills a guy in from of cameras," She finally said. "I actually came up here to give you this." She pulled a small silver pendent from her pocket, and Kurt recognized it at once. "She left this on the Blackbird. I figured you ought to have it." Jean dropped the pendent into his palm, and promptly flew off again, leaving Kurt to his solitude atop the school.

He contemplated the necklace in his hand, a gift from what felt like a lifetime ago. He had known it was perfect the second he had seen it, he had been able to picture her wearing it and knew it was the right gift. Had she left it because she was in a hurry, or because she was cutting all ties to everything in the X-Men, even him?

God, what he would give to know where she was.

Over his shoulder, he could hear the sounds of the Blackbird getting started up, and wondered vaguely where the others were going. He found himself uttering a quick prayer that it wasn't to find Julia.

* * *

><p>It was a quiet, peaceful little farmhouse in the middle of nowhere in Vermont. This was, of course, a ruse, which hid away several hundred pounds of nuclear material and the entrance to a small, underground factory which produced radiation-based weapons for the Purifier cause. Nothing had grown here for years and years, except perhaps, money.<p>

The first cries of fear and agony reached Jefferson Telmond in his office around ten P.M. and within ten minutes, the entire farm had gone as silent as the grave.

The Reverend was a paranoid man, always had been, which is why the Purifiers had recruited him, naturally. He knew how to defend himself in the event of danger. He had placed himself strategically in a corner of his office with an ornate pistol in hand; he had a clear shot at the door, and if all else failed, easy access to the french doors and veranda, which was fairly easy to jump or climb down from. He was ready for whatever happened to open the door.

Pity for him, Eclipse didn't need to open the door, that was the beauty of having a plasma form. Hands that felt like ice grabbed Telmond's collar, and slammed his back against his expensive leather chair. It took a moment for him to clearly make out the woman the hands belonged too, as she nearly blended into the dark room, and even then, her face was shaded in a hood, but solid gray eyes were distinguishable in the shadows.

"Hi, my name is Eclipse, and we need to have a chat. Can you guess why?"

"Mutie." Telmond spat the word like a poison, and raised the gun to her face.

"Wrong answer." Her hand closed over the barrel of the gun, and even when he pulled the trigger, she scarcely seemed to notice. She pulled her hand away, and the useless bullet fell to the carpet with a dull klink. "Guns don't solve everything Reverend, neither do bombs."

The mutant wrenched the gun from his hands, and tossed it carelessly through the glass on the french door. He winced slightly at the sound of breaking glass, but other than that, didn't seem to react. She circled the desk and sat down primly on one of the chairs, tossing a leg prettily over the other, and folded her hands over her knee. As Telmond watched, her fingers grew suddenly longer, sharper, and knew that she had intended to make it obvious, going for intimidation. A ponytail twisted behind her head like a whip, and it appeared to be moving under its own power.

"Let's talk about Boston."

"Boston?"

"Right. You tried to hurt a lot of people in Boston, you gave one of your little flunkies a neutron bomb to detonate. Are we on the same page here?" Without waiting for him to answer, she continued. "Some mutants are hard to kill, sure, but a baby nuke? That was a little much, don't you think? Do you have any idea what kind of long-term damage that would do? Not just to mutants either. Is it worth killing the planet just to get at us?"

"World was never made for you mutie scum."

"Right, right. God didn't make us, did he? We just sprang up outta hell or something, right? Is that what you preach in church?"

"You're mistakes. Mistakes that need to be corrected." Talking about it from a religious stand-point bolstered the Reverend and Eclipse could see that. He was the authority on religion, he figured he would win that argument with her. Even if it was only religion from his point of view, and the religion he made up as he went to justify his actions. Arguing with people like him was useless, he followed his own code, his own religious zeal, and was totally convinced he had every right to be a belligerent jerk. Self-righteous bigot.

"Okay. Never mind. I see we won't get much of anywhere with this." Eclipse unfolded her legs and sat now with her elbows on her knees, leaning towards him slightly. "So, you wonder why you haven't heard anything about how Boston's experiment went?"

She had struck a nerve now. A muscle in the Reverend's jaw stood out while he ground his teeth.

"The Government is keeping it quiet, they don't want to side with us yet. But they will. They will when they see we're right."

"Uh-huh. Suppose I told you I stopped it and killed the little minion you sent? Even though I think you were planning to kill him yourself, seeing as you were going to blow him up too."

"He was a coward. He never would have gone through with it," The Reverend snarled, but then looked doubtful. "You couldn't have stopped it. Nuclear blasts kill even muties."

"See, that's where you're wrong. You can't lump all of us 'muties' into one category. For example, my main power is absorbing projected energy. Even when it's nuclear. Sure it hurt, but...well, I'm still standing here, huh?" She raised her hands in a shrug. "But now, seeing as we've established Boston was your fault, that means I have a whole new bone to pick with you. If it weren't for you, someone very important to me wouldn't currently be lying in a bed with a bullet hole in his chest."

"And what do I care if a mutie got itself shot?"

She made a noise somewhere between a scoff and a growl, and then Telmond found her claws buried in his chest. He screamed, though it didn't exactly hurt. His body was turning ice-cold, numb, spreading from where her fingers had penetrated. He didn't really understand how she had gotten so close so quickly either.

"I really hate it when you people call us its. We're goddamned people, not 'muties' and not 'its' and not mistakes!" She growled, her face close enough to his that he could see the shimmery quality of her skin even in the low light. "This probably doesn't hurt nearly as bad as getting shot hurt Kurt, but we're calling it good. Should I explain why you're going numb? Why you can't move your arms or legs?" Doubting her at first, he tried to lift his arms, tried to twitch his fingers or toes, anything, but with a terrified realization found he couldn't. "Like I said, I absorb energy. And your brain happens to use electrical energy to control your nerves. I can take that away. Don't worry though, it won't kill you unless I go for your brain, and even then, I'd have to hold on for awhile." She pulled her hand away, leaving Telmond as a pile of dead and dying nerves. "I want to know who you got the bomb from, they're next on my list."

Telmond shook his head weakly, whether it was because he was afraid of what Eclipse would do if he dared to give an answer she didn't like, or because his mouth was numb, she really couldn't say.

"Listen, if you don't want to talk to me, that's fine, but just keep in mind Magneto is the one who wants these answers. I think we both know how he won't ask twice."

"It was just a government deal," The Reverend finally admitted, hurriedly. He knew she would probably be dangerous if he didn't answer, but he knew for a fact Magneto would turn him to mush. Even a man who believed so strongly in a mutant-free heaven was still afraid of dying, especially if it was going to be at the hands of a madman. "The MRD was trying to make radiation weapons to incapacitate muties, but they couldn't find a way to make them non-lethal. They sold the tech to us, that's all, I swear. I don't know who came up with it."

Eclipse crossed her arms. "The MRD huh? That figures. Suppose if anybody asks them they'll be able to prove they didn't know they were deadly too. So much for their peace-keeping mission." She shook her head, and started towards the door. Telmond watched her progress carefully, unsure of what to expect; she had proven she was perfectly willing and able to lash out with no warning. "Well, the good new is I'm not going to kill you," She said mildly, uncrossing her arms and turning to look over her shoulder at him. "The bad news is my plans haven't changed. You get to watch, helpless, while I tear your organization down, member by member."

"Helpless...?"

"Yep. That paralysis thing? It's going to be permanent."

* * *

><p>Cyclops was just running up the stairs when the sound of a scream cut short reached him. It seemed the Brotherhood, or so they were assuming judging from the fact Quicksilver was here, had gotten to Telmond before they could. The door didn't stand a chance against his optic blast, and he burst in on an unfamiliar female assailant. It was odd the Professor hadn't known there was a third person here, could she have only just arrived?<p>

A quick scan of the room drew Cyclops' eyes to a twitching Reverend Telmond slumped in the chair, and he wasted no time in firing off another blast.

Much to his surprise, the mystery mutant _caught _it without seeming to bat an eyelash.

No, not a catch, she was absorbing it into the palm of her hand, and there was only one person he knew who could pull that off so easily.

"What the-? Julia?" He lowered his hand from his visor, blinking slightly in sheer disbelief. Julia put the nanosecond his eyes were closed and his beams were useless to her full advantage, the way she had been trained. She transported herself over the desk and came right at him, her knee slamming into his chin. The matter displacement accelerated her, adding momentum and force to the blow, though he doubted his chin would have won the fight in the first place. Not to mention, a punch or a kick from Julia when she was in her energy form felt something like getting jabbed with a taser. Whether it was conscious or not, she usually let loose a small jolt of negative energy on contact, though it was significantly less damaging than her claws.

Cyclops sprawled to the floor from the force of the blow, and felt Julia landing on him slightly, her feet braced on either side of his chest while she reached down and yanked the visor off his stunned face. Instinctively, he squeezed his eyes shut, for fear of taking out anything within range of his optic blast, including civilian homes nearby, or the roof above which could do some damage if it fell, all while trying to ignore the fact that his jaw felt like it was dislocated.

"Please, Scott, stay out of this, I don't want to fight you. Any of you."

"Did you decide that before or after you kneed me in the face?"

"Sorry, but you tried to blast me first you know."

"And how was I supposed to know you decided to start doing the Brotherhood's dirty work? What? One murder wasn't enough?"

"Not that it's any of your business," Julia's voice had gone low, almost threatening, "-but the Reverend over there is still very much alive. Just paralyzed from the neck down. Well, and then he wouldn't shut up so I nicked his vocal nerves."

"What? Permanently?" Scott demanded, though he felt a little silly making demands while he was lying on the ground with his eyes closed. He couldn't help but think that Julia's method was crueler than just killing him. Yes he was alive, but only insofar as he was still breathing. He heard a muffled thump, and he guessed that she had tossed his visor into a corner, making sure he would be more or less blind.

"Yes. Permanently." She answered, and her voice was growing more distant. She was going towards the veranda door. While under normal circumstances Cyclops would take another shot at her now that she was far enough away to prevent most of the backlash, the fact that it would be more or less pointless to try and blast Julia again made him feel a bit on the useless side. Fighting wasn't an option, so he tried reason, sitting up cautiously.

"You don't have to do this Julia. You can't seriously think we're going to let you kill every Purifier you happen to come across."

"I never said I was going to kill them. But I suppose you've all always assumed that about me. Everyone assumed I killed that guy in Texas too. Suppose I'm just not of the same moral character as all you other X-Men." Her tone was distinctly mocking.

"Then what are you planning to do?" Cyclops demanded, now a little angry at her impudent attitude.

"For starters, I plan to maim most of them, so they can't hurt any more mutants. Can't do too much harm if they're all in wheelchairs, can they? Of course, they might get the message after awhile and I won't have to hunt them all down."

"Julia, you're making a really, really stupid mistake, do you realize that? I think you should come back to the mansion-"

"I don't care what you think!" She shouted suddenly, and he could hear her stalking back across the floor, presumably to lean down and shout in his face, as her voice was now much closer. "I'm going to help fight them because the X-Men won't! And I'm not going back so you can turn me over to the freaking MRD!"

"What about what Kurt thinks?" She went silent, and he knew he had hit a nerve.

"I guess it doesn't matter anymore." She finally said, rather quietly.

"What do you want me to tell him?"

"Make something up."

Cyclops suddenly felt something grab onto the back of his uniform collar and was dragged over the floor rapidly. He was guessing Quicksilver had gotten involved in the conversation, sort of. The floor changed into dirt and grass, and Quicksilver let him go, Cyclops' back scrapping over the dirt.

"Just in case she didn't get it across clearly enough for you, she's one of ours now Cyke. Back off."

Quicksilver was gone, leaving Cyclops in the middle of nowhere and unable to open his eyes. What a day.

_Hey Jean, don't suppose you'd come and get me..._


	19. Chapter 19

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Autho_r's _Note: Well, sorry for the long wait for such a terribly short chapter. However, combining this with what happens next was just way, way too much going on in one chapter in my opinion. Let's see...not much to say here. School's almost out for the summer, so you'll probably see a lot more of me when I actually have time to write. Other than that, Thanks to Dragoncat, who seriously looks like the only person who actually reads this. :) Oh, and look forward to a special guest appearance next chapter. _

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 19<strong>

Still lurking on his roof-top perch Kurt watched his fellow X-Men return, and was relieved to see that Julia in chains or something of the sort was not among them. Scott was covered in mud, but otherwise they seemed unscathed.

_Kurt, I'm afraid we're going to need to have a talk. Could you come down to my office please? _

Without bothering to respond, Kurt simply made the dimensional jump to Xavier's office. Kurt knew every room and angle in the mansion, he scarcely even had to think about it to get from place to place. Xavier was by the window, looking troubled with his fingers laced together thoughtfully, and glanced up when the burst of smoke announced Kurt's presence.

"We need to talk about Julia, Kurt."

"Uhm...vhat about her?" Kurt would have planted himself on the back of the couch like he normally did, but he found it somewhat more difficult to balance with his arm in a sling. He didn't plan to be in it much longer though.

"Cyclops brought back some...troubling news. It would seem Julia is...we think she's with the Brotherhood."

"_Was_? No vay! She vouldn't join them, vould she?" Kurt knew, at best, that the idea was wishful thinking. Where else would she have been able to seek shelter from the MRD and the Purifiers? Still, he didn't want to believe she would so suddenly jump into a life of crime.

"She attacked Scott when he interfered, after she permanently paralyzed a man named Jefferson Telmond. Kurt, I don't think we can ignore the possibility that we'll have to stop her."

"Vhat are you implying Professor?"

Xavier sighed. "I have to ask whether you knew about this. Whether you know why she went after this man specifically."

Kurt looked at his feet, angry more at the fact that he really didn't know than the fact Xavier was implying he was intentionally keeping secrets. "She didn't tell me anything. She didn't even say goodbye."

"I'm sorry that things have turned out this way Kurt," Xavier said quietly, and turned his eyes to the window instead. "But I'm going to have to ask you to refrain from going on any missions involving the Brotherhood until Julia has been apprehended. I hope you understand why."

Kurt's lips curled in a wry smile. "Ja. I get it. You don't vant me to help her escape, or run avay vith her or something like that."

"I don't want you to have to make that choice," The Professor corrected, "-I think it would be easier on the both of you if you let us handle it Kurt. I don't know how we'll resolve it just yet, but I promise she won't be harmed."

"Ja...thanks Professor." Kurt excused himself from the office, wandering down the hall in an absentminded fashion, finally winding up outside the door that had once lead to Julia's room. The lock had been replaced, but the wood still had scars from the time Logan had ripped it open. He missed her. He missed her more than he could even possibly put into a coherent sentence. He stared at the shredded wood a little longer, and suddenly decided he wasn't going to listen to the Professor. He _had_ to find Julia. He just had to, and the scarred door gave him an idea of where to start too.

* * *

><p>"Logan, I need a favor." Kurt found the stout Canadian in his usual spot, out in the woods with a case of beer at his feet. He knew Logan had probably noticed he had arrived, but hadn't acknowledged it until he spoke.<p>

"Of what sort Elf?"

"I need your help, I have to find Jyulia."

"Didn't Chuck specifically tell ya not to go looking for her?"

"Ja, but...but I can't just sit here und vait, I can't let the MRD or the Purifiers find her first."

"Uh-huh. And how's the arm?" Logan jabbed a finger at the sling still holding his arm in place.

"It von't stop me." Kurt gave the sling a yank and his right arm fell weakly to his side. Functional, yes, but useful? Probably not. "Please Logan. I have to find her. If Jyulia is in trouble...I just vant to help her."

"Look Elf, I can understand that plenty, but I don't think Jules is in the kinda trouble you can help her with." Logan gave him a look that was an odd mix between empathy and neutrality. Kurt stared back, torn between walking away in anger and screaming in sheer frustration.

"Logan, please...I need to see her." His voice carried a note of begging, but Kurt didn't particularly care.

In response, Logan heaved in a huge sigh. "You sure about this? You sure ya wanna find her, even though she's with Magneto?"

"Logan please...please. Even if she vent to Magneto, she's still my Jyulia, and I love her."

"Alright, alright, I'll help, don't get all desperate on me," Logan stood up, brushing off the back of his jeans, "-I'll try and track her. Or at least point ya in the right direction, but she's your woman so you hafta do all the talkin'. If ya love her, then ya need to see her, I get that. Just don't take it too personal if she won't come back, there's a lot that may have changed fer her Kurt."

"I know...thank you, Logan."

"Yeah, yeah. Believe me when I say I kinda got an idea of the spot you're in. 'Sides, I kinda like Jules too ya know." Without another word, Logan started off in the direction of the mansion, Kurt following.

* * *

><p>It was dark, Julia couldn't remember where she was, the room didn't look familiar for some reason. Instinctively, her hand reached out to her side, looking for a warm, furry body, familiar arms, and wanting to hear Kurt's voice. Instead, her hand closed on empty sheets.<p>

The last few days came back in a rush. _Right. He wouldn't be here. _Julia sighed and pressed her face into the pillow, unsure of how long she had been sleeping. She'd had an awful time falling asleep at all without Kurt; she hadn't gone to bed or woken up without him in what felt like ages. She wondered how many more times she would wake up and not be able to remember that the X-Men, the mansion, and Kurt were no longer with her. Probably a few. She rolled over now so that she could stare at the ceiling, not sure she liked having a queen-sized bed all to herself; she was used to much smaller and having an excuse to sleep as close to Kurt as possible, it was a weird adjustment.

_Well, I guess there are worse things. At least I can be mostly sure he's okay. If Scott wanted to make an excuse for me, he's probably awake now. That's good. Still...not having Kurt around is going to be the hardest part of this. I never realized how much my life ended up revolving around him, and us being together._

Again, Julia rolled over, trying to find a comfortable spot in the big, lonely bed. She ended up on her side, facing the window, and pulling the covers up over her head. She wondered what sort of story Scott would wind up telling him; would it be the truth, or would he try to edit out details and make it easier on Kurt? She closed her eyes, not sure which idea she would prefer.

Her eyes snapped open again at a knock, not one at the door, but one from the window. She shot upright and for a moment could only manage to stare, open-mouthed, at the yellow-gold eyes and blurry outline of shadow balancing easily on the tiny balcony outside the glass. No _way_. She had to be dreaming. She had to be making this up.

"Jyulia?" His voice was quiet through the window, but that didn't stop her from scrambling madly to unlock it, suddenly not giving a damn if it was a dream.

"Kurt!" He muffled her exclamation against his chest, pulling her against him in a crushing hug, though Julia was hardly bothered and returning it with equal force. She could feel the bandages under his shirt on his right shoulder, and knew that if nothing else, it was a fairly good bet this was reality. For a long moment, she could do nothing but absorb the feeling of having him close.

"I've been vorried about you. Are you alright?"

"Worried about me? You're the one with the bullet hole in your chest, you should be worried about you."

"You left und I didn't know vhere you vere. How can you expect me not to vorry?"

"I know. Sorry. I didn't really have a choice. I'm really sorry about everything and-"

"It's alright," He hushed her, loosening his hold on her until his hands were on her shoulders. "Jyulia, ve have to go. Come home vith me-"

"What? Kurt, no, I can't-" He appeared to ignore her protest.

"-Logan is vaiting with a car, ve can sort this out."

"Kurt, you're not listening-"

Both mutants froze at the sounds of footsteps outside the door. "Hey, some of us are trying to sleep you know!" The voice Julia recognized as Toad, probably her least favorite member of the Brotherhood after Mystique; if only because his hygiene was bad enough she couldn't stand being in the same room with him. Kurt, appearing much more apprehensive than Julia, snaked his arm under hers again, and jaunted them both to who knew where, though it appeared to be the small collection of trees not far from the apartment complex.

"Ve should go before they start looking for you."

"Damnit Kurt, have you seriously not listened to a word I've been trying to say?" Again, he seemed to ignore her, taking her hand and literally trying to drag her away. Julia planted her feet firmly, and did something she had never had cause to do before in her entire time of knowing him. She grabbed Kurt's tail and yanked hard, instantly feeling guilty, but glad when he finally stopped and turned around to stare at her indignantly. "Will you shut up and listen now?"

"Okay, okay, I'm listening."

"Good. Take me back."

His jaw dropped. "_Was zur Hölle_? _Bist du verrückt_?"

Julia sighed, unable to guess what the sentence meant, but from his tone she gathered it hadn't been too nice. He usually switched to German when he was upset anyway, so if he happened to be cussing, none of the kids knew about it.

"Kurt, it's not like I'm here because they kidnapped me or anything. I can't go back to the X-Men; you and I both know I can't. I killed someone, and it wasn't even an accident."

He suddenly released her hand, his eyes dropping to the ground. "I...I suppose I didn't vant to believe that you really did."

"But I did. So what now? Are you going to drag me back to be locked up in an eight-by-ten cell until I die? They don't want me back and I don't want to go back. Take me back to the Brotherhood. I don't want to fight the X-Men, you least of all, but I can't let you take me to the school. Not now."

"But Jyulia, the Brotherhood-"

"Isn't nearly as bad as Professor Xavier always made it sound. Sure, Mystique pulls some pretty crazy shit, but I only signed on to fight the Purifiers. I won't get involved with any of their political games."

"Mystique?" Kurt's eyes widened at the mention of the name, causing Julia to raise an eyebrow.

"Know her?"

"Vell, ja, but that's not the point." He shook his head somewhat violently, reaching out to snatch her hand up again. "They're dangerous, Jyulia. All of them are. Please, you can't stay here."

"Where would you prefer me to go?" She demanded, feeling like Kurt was missing a point somewhere along the line. Sure, the Brotherhood was dangerous, that much was obvious, but the outside world, the human world, was way, way more dangerous, especially to her now that she had been associated with said dangerous mutants.

"I...I don't know."

"Look, I know you don't want to hear this, but I've made a decision. I have to stay, I have to finish what I started."

"But vhen is it going to end?" Kurt demanded, suddenly seeming angry. "Vhen vill you be able to stop? Vhen you've killed them all? Vhen-"

"I never said I planned to kill anybody!" Julia practically shouted back. Even Kurt thought she was on a mission to kill every living Purifier out there. Beautiful, that was just perfect; even he had no faith in her. "You should go."

Kurt stared at her as though she had suddenly begun speaking Mandarin. "Jyulia-"

"Don't." She pulled her hand out of his, though it was probably the last thing she wanted to do. "This isn't going to work. I should have known...I should have known better than to open the window and act like nothing had changed when we're on opposite sides of the line now." She shook her head, more to herself than him. "And I suppose now that you've found me, you're going to go back to the Professor and tell him where we are."

Kurt looked at her like she had slapped him. She supposed she had in a figurative sense; she knew better than to think Kurt would betray her to the X-Men -and consequentially, the MRD- just to get a shot at the Brotherhood. It just wasn't how Kurt's mind worked, he put the people he cared for before everything else in the world.

"No...I don't know. Jyulia, please, you have to come vith me. Ve don't have to go back to Xavier's ve can...I don't know, run avay for avhile and figure this out."

"_I've _figured it out Kurt, I know what I'm going to do, I know what I'm doing. And you need to go before someone comes looking for us. You wanted to break up with me when I thought of leaving the X-Men the first time remember? Now all of a sudden you don't want to let me go?"

"It's because I love you!" Kurt burst out. It seemed he was finally starting to lose patience with her.

"I know...I know...but being together...it's just not realistic now. Maybe never again at this point. I'm sorry about, well, everything I guess, but I can't rewind time. This is where the choices I made have led me, and I'm okay with that. I don't know whether you can appreciate it now, or whether you ever will, but most of the decisions I made...I made because of the way I felt. Because of my love."

"I never vould have vanted you to kill somevone Jyulia. Never."

Julia sighed, she had known that from the very beginning. She had known the moment that she dropped that Purifier off the rooftop she was going to put a rift between her and Kurt. And maybe the only reason that hadn't stopped her was because she hadn't known whether the shot had been fatal at that point. "I knew that's how you would feel about it, and...I'm not exactly proud of it, but it's too late to take it back. I can't bring him back to life, and I can't fix Telmond's paralysis, and even if I could, I don't know whether I could honestly say I would want to."

Kurt looked at her for a long moment, as though waiting for her to suddenly change her mind, looking for doubt in her face. All Julia did was look back at him and he soon seemed to give up, his eyes dropping to the ground. "Is this really it?" He asked. "Is dhis how it's going to end for us?"

"Looks that way." For some crazy reason, perhaps not knowing how else to deal with it, Julia wanted to smile. Smile and cry. And scream. "You should go home Kurt. Get better. Don't worry about me, I promise I'll be alright."

He didn't answer her, and she supposed he didn't really need to, they both knew he'd worry about her, no matter what she said. In lieu of a verbal answer, Kurt reached out to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close to him, holding her the same way he always had. Her arms clamped around him, and she suddenly doubted her decision to stay. Was it really worth letting this go? Letting him go?

"I vish it didn't have to be this vay," He said after a long period of somber silence.

"I know. But I don't see any other way."

Kurt let go of her slowly, his hands sliding down her arms until he wrapped his hands around hers. "Just...just promise me you von't do anything...dangerous. Und...Jyulia, please, don't ever listen to anything Mystique says."

"Why?"

"Just trust me. She vill only tell you things to hurt or manipulate you." He looked at her earnestly, squeezing her hands.

"Okay. I promise."

"_Danke_, I-" Words suddenly seemed to stick in his throat. She took over.

"Don't thinks this means I don't love you, okay? I do. But I have to do what I think needs to be done." She leaned in and kissed him gently, but with plenty of feeling. After a few moments that didn't seem nearly long enough, Kurt backed away, gave her a sad look, and then vanished.

Julia continued to stand where he had left her, she didn't know how long exactly. It could have been a minute, it could have been ten. Finally, she hauled in a breath, and turned to walk back to the Brotherhood's apartment complex, somewhat grateful Kurt hadn't jaunted them two miles off into the middle of nowhere.

It still seemed to take longer than it should have, and she found Mystique waiting for her in the main hallway.

"I went for a walk-" Julia started as an explanation, but Mystique interrupted her.

"Did you tell him to leave?"

Not liking Mystique's tone, Julia played dumb. "Who?"

The shape-shifter smirked, though it looked more like a sneer. "I hope you told him not to come back."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Julia persisted, stepping around Mystique in an attempt to get to her room.

"I suppose it's just as well. The way you two were carrying on, I thought I was going to have to start thinking of you as a daughter-in-law. Or that maybe I'd be a grandma soon."

The jab made Julia freeze in her tracks. "What?" She whipped around to face Mystique, unsure of how she wanted to react, beyond shock of course. Negligently, the other woman shrugged.

"Don't tell me you don't see the family resemblance."

"You're...you're Kurt's mother?" A lot of things suddenly started to make sense. This was probably why he'd never gone into detail concerning what he had once said about possibly knowing his birth mother. In fact, she kind of remembered Kurt implying his birth parents were dead back when she had first met him. Of course, he had also explicitly told her not to trust anything Mystique said, which put her a little on the fence. It was perfectly reasonable to think Mystique was only doing this to goad her after evidently seeing her sneaking around with Kurt.

"Guess he didn't get into it too much with his girlfriend, huh? Suppose it makes sense, I'm not really the kind of woman you want to bring anyone home to. Kurt probably thinks he'll turn out like me if he admits to being my son."

"He is _nothing _like you. And he never will be," Julia snapped, disgusted she would even imply that possibility. Maybe it was just because the shape-shifter didn't like her, but Julia had a strong sense that the blue woman was rotten to the core.

"So I've been told," Mystique replied imperviously. "Doesn't seem to take much after his father either. Anyway, listen here, you little brat-" Unexpectedly, she lashed out a hand, wrapping her fingers firmly around the front of Julia's t-shirt. She attempted to back her into the hallway wall but, more pissed off than intimidated, Julia stood her ground, glaring back into her yellow eyes which were indeed rather like Kurt's. Not that Julia would ever admit it aloud of course. "Magneto may have wanted your powers, but as far as I'm concerned, you're nothing more than a liability, especially if you're going to keep up this hopeless romantic crap. If I ever see you bringing an X-Man anywhere near my house again, neither of you will live to regret it."

"Get your hand off me, or you won't be using it for the next six months," Julia snarled in return. It wasn't bad enough she had abandoned Kurt, now she was threatening him with death? Mystique truly had to be psychotic. Or at least, she had to be the cruelest person Julia had met in recent memory. Though she didn't seem to feel all that inclined, Mystique released her hold on Julia.

"If you don't like the way I run things," The blue woman said snidely, "-feel free to walk out the door and take your chances on your own any time." Without giving Julia a chance to fire a rebuttal, she stalked down the hallway and out of sight.

_Hmph. And I thought Cyclops made for an annoying boss. _

Julia strode up to her room, but was far too agitated to even consider going back to sleep. For a few minutes, she wandered in circles around the carpet, but soon grew annoyed of that as well. She looked up and out the window where she could see the lights of the City that never Sleeps, and decided she couldn't stay in the house a second longer. Not tonight. She'd come back tomorrow when she had stopped wanting to turn Mystique into a quadriplegic.

* * *

><p>Logan knew when Kurt came back alone, there wasn't going to be much talking. He had spent the last half an hour leaning on the hood of the car he had "borrowed" from Scott, a cigar stuck between his canines while he amused himself whittling a hunk of wood with one of his middle claws. It was turning into quite the lovely little caricature of ol' Buckethead, if he did say so himself. It wasn't likely Magneto was here in New York, and Logan hadn't picked up his scent, but he'd thought it best to stay out of trouble and not follow the Elf anyway.<p>

Now however, he was thinking Kurt could have used the spiritual support. Without a word, the teleporter practically poured himself into the passenger seat, and even after Logan had gotten in the driver's side, didn't seem to feel like communicating.

"I'm guessing we're not waiting for her to pack then."

"I don't vant to talk about it right now, Logan."

"Fair enough." Logan turned the key and put the car in gear, heading for the freeway back to Salem Center. He had been able to guess that this is what would happen, but he had also known Kurt wouldn't have had any of it if he had tried to say so. It was bitter pill to swallow, but Kurt had needed to hear it from her; he never would have believed it otherwise.

Still, Logan couldn't help feeling a little empathy. How many times had this happened to him? How many women had ended up leaving him over the years? It was a bad ache, one you either got over or you didn't.

Logan was under the distinct impression this would be one of the "didn't"s.


	20. Chapter 20

**The Gaze and the** **Glance**

_Author's Note: Well, after several weeks of short chapters, we finally get a decent-length one. Anyway, this chapter essentially became a tribute to "Marvel Team-Ups" and I rather enjoyed writing it. More on the end to avoid anything spoiler-like. :)_

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><p><strong>Chapter 20<strong>

The city hadn't changed a bit. Julia had been back to New York a couple of times since she had joined up with the X-Men, but it had never been the old neighborhood where she had lived a good chunk of her life. The streets, the building, it was all the same.

The windows of her old apartment were lit, and she wondered who lived there now, what they were like, whether any of her furniture had been left there. She stuck her hands into the pockets of her jeans, hunching her shoulders in Rogue's coat, the only thing she -sort of- owned warm enough to keep her reasonably comfortable in the temperatures.

_And the times they are a-changing...except not really. _Julia thought absently, turning away from the old building. She hadn't known what she expected to find here, except for maybe the memories still lingering around here and there.

Not to say she had too many fond ones of the area. She had come here to hide, and had spent all the years in the city doing just that.

She walked along the street, quiet except for the occasional taxi or beat-up old car, letting her mind wander until her attention was caught by a flash and shuffling down the alley directly across the street from her. Once upon a time, she would have turned her eyes to the ground and kept walking. Now, however, she boldly strode across the street and into the mouth of the alley. She didn't know whether it was because of some left-over noble feeling of duty from the X-Men, or just the fact she was almost hoping for someone to start a fight so she could hit something. Either way, it was too late to change her choice.

Two men were mid-way down the alley, one had a purse and a bowie knife in his hands, the other was trying to restrain a very small, very young-looking woman against the wall, his hand clamped over her mouth and his other forearm pressed against her torso, pinning her against the bricks. Julia had a flash of memory to the first time she had used her powers to their full extent. She had been trapped in the exact same way.

She wasn't weak anymore, and she certainly wasn't afraid of her own mutant powers.

They had frozen when they heard her steps, but now that they saw she was just another woman that they both easily had a hundred pounds on, the one with the knife advanced on her, likely either planning to make her their next victim, or at least scare her off. Julia stood firm until he was literally breathing in her face. Cheap beer and whiskey with a hint of cigarettes. Charming.

"I think you had better let her go," Julia said calmly, wondering if she could manage to get the girl safely out of the way before a fight started.

"What are ya gonna do if we don't?"

"Probably hurt you."

He laughed brazenly in her face, appearing to find it genuinely amusing. His eyes were cold though. "I think I'd rather hurt _you._"

"You can certainly try," Julia challenged. The hand with the knife came forward with a jolt, but not fast enough that Julia couldn't shift her particles into energy form.

The solid energy stung him as she swatted his hand away, the knife clattering to the pavement and skittering away. She grabbed his wrist and swung up with her other hand, landing a powerful upper-cut on his chin. He staggered, but didn't go down. Claws formed from her fingers with scarcely a conscious thought, and she slashed them through his bicep, the arm falling dead to his side. Temporary of course. These guys were scum, but she didn't feel the need to cause any permanent damage. They were cowards, they would learn faster than the Purifiers did.

He fell to his knees cursing and trying to massage feeling back into his arm. Julia advanced on the other, half-expecting him to run at seeing his partner go down the way he had, or at seeing her other form. Instead, he pulled a gun from his coat, and began to fire madly at her. Bullets ricocheted off the alley walls when he missed, but the six or seven times he managed to hit her, her energy absorb took care of it for her, the bullets falling to the ground without their kinetic force.

"Guns, guns, guns. It's always guns with you people," Julia sighed, annoyed that Rogue's poor coat now had a bunch of holes punched in it. "But guns don't always work."

The thug was backing up, pulling the girl with him, pointing the empty gun at her head and clearly not realizing how futile it was. Julia made a run at him, and fearing more for his own skin than the girl's, the thug dropped her and tried turn tail. Julia grabbed him by the back of his grimy coat and threw him backwards with all her force. He collided with the wall, his skull thudding against the brick slightly, and drooped to the ground like a rag doll. She turned now to their intended victim.

"If I were you I would go home. And I wouldn't do anymore of this wandering around in the dark unless you intend to look for trouble. You're a little too young to end up in a shallow grave somewhere."

The girl stared back at her with wide eyes, her gaze darting from place to place on Julia's form. "Y-you're...one of those...you're a-"

"Mutant. Yes." The smaller girl scrambled suddenly, snatching up the near-forgotten knife from the ground, and pointing it at Julia.

"S-stay away from me!"

Julia felt her fists curl tightly, and felt sparks start to leap of her skin as her annoyance shot up to a previously unachievable level. "I just saved you. I could have kept walking and let these assholes have their way with you," She hissed the words, furious, her hair lashing violently in all directions. "And now you're pointing a knife at me? If I wanted to hurt you, do you seriously think that would help you?"

"Get away!" The girl ran at her, and stabbed the knife to the hilt into Julia's chest, before snatching up her purse and bolting, screaming and crying about a mutie the whole way.

"Fucking typical." Julia snarled after her. She heard the would-be mugger or rapist who had previously been carrying the knife chuckling on the ground behind her. Julia turned swiftly, her foot connecting with the side of his head. He crumpled instantaneously.

She was sorely, sorely tempted to kick his teeth into his gray matter, but kept her foot firmly on the ground. They probably didn't deserve to die. They'd been attacking a human anyway, so let the human courts handle their justice. Still, none of this helped the fact that picking a fight hadn't made her feel much better.

"Wow. And I thought I got bad reactions from people."

Julia spun on her heel, and followed the voice up the wall slightly to where a figure in red and blue was poised vertically, in much the same way Kurt often had been when she found him on walls.

"So uh...does that hurt?" He continued, when she didn't respond to his first statement, pointing at the knife hilt still sticking out of her chest.

"A little, yeah. But not bad." She reached up and yanked the knife out without hesitation.

"You're not bleeding." His voice sounded a little bewildered.

"I don't have any blood. Or skin, or bones, or organs. I'm just a bunch of plasma held together by sheer willpower. At least, right now I am." Julia threw the knife into the dumpster. "So what are you doing here?"

"Friendly neighborhood-"

"Spiderman, I know. I used to live here, I know your gimmick. You're pretty famous."

"I think the word you're looking for is infamous. People hate me."

"At least they don't stab you."

"True. Though it's not for lack of wanting to," He noted, scuttling his way down the wall until he was close enough to the ground to land on his feet. "Anyway, I heard the screaming, thought I'd come have a looksie at what happened."

"And now you know. A 'mutie' is running loose and causing trouble."

"Didn't look like you were causing it to me," Responded Spiderman, raising his hands like a surrender as he leaned over the thug with a large red mark on his temple where her boot had landed. "So, we both know who I am. Who are you? Got a name?"

"These days I go by Eclipse."

"Oh, hey, you're with the X-Men huh?"

"Was. Past tense. I sort of...defected." He glanced quickly at her, and then away again, obviously calculating where that would put her. Or at least, he was likely trying to guess whether that automatically made her a bad guy.

"I didn't know rescue was SOP for Mags and his band of merry mutants." He took a stab at aligning her with the Brotherhood.

"Generally speaking, it isn't. But I never said I was with Magneto."

"No, I suppose you didn't." He agreed, and she thought that perhaps if he hadn't had that mask on, he might have been smiling. "So I suppose this just makes you some kind of vigilante then, huh?"

"And you're one to talk?"

"You have a point there."

The two stood in the alley for a few more moments, Julia watching Spiderman, wondering if he would attempt to take her down, and she gathered from his semi-tense pose, he was thinking the same. She supposed she might look a little intimidating, still being in battle-mode, so she consciously relaxed, and let her body shift back out of her energy form.

"Ooh. That's pretty spiffy."

Julia laughed, and he seemed to relax finally, now that she didn't appear to be quite so much a threat. She didn't get the impression Spidey would march off to the nearest police station and give them her description, so she didn't really feel the need to worry about letting him see how she normally looked. "So then, are you going to deal with these guys and take all my credit?"

"Well, if you feel that way about it, we can definitely make sure your name goes on this one." This time, she could definitely hear a smile in his voice.

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><p>Four blocks away and about ten minutes later, the two thugs from the alley were dumped in front of the police station, wrapped up in an awkward position together in a cocoon of webbing, and a note pinned on the front of one of their jackets which simply read: "All credit goes to Eclipse."<p>

Around the corner, the two responsible for this watched the police emerge slowly, either puzzling or laughing over their peculiar delivery. Spiderman was sticking to the wall a few feet over Julia's head. He honestly really reminded her of Kurt, especially in the way he didn't seem to be happy if his feet were on the ground.

"Did my tights rip?"

"Excuse me?"

"You're kinda staring at me and it's creeping me out. Seriously, are my tights ripped or something? I'd really rather know before someone gets it on the internet."

"Er, no. Sorry. You just remind me of someone, I guess I was getting nostalgic. Really nostalgic." She looked at the ground instead, embarrassed.

"Right, okay." He nodded nonchalantly. "So, I'm starving. You wanna buy me a hotdog?"

"Uh...sorry?" Julia questioned, taken aback by the sudden switch in subject. "And why would I buy it anyway?"

"Cuz I totally carried those guys here for you, and I've been stopping muggings all freaking night, and I seriously have absolutely no place to put my wallet in this costume. Seriously. I can't even get a quarter in here. Believe me, I've tried."

She felt a little huff of laughter escape her lips. "Alright. You make a valid point. You did carry them here for me, and I do agree that doing so earns you a hotdog."

Spidey pointed her in the direction of the nearest food stand, and though she had to pay a little extra to convince the vendor to stay open a few minutes past his usual closing time of midnight, she managed to score a pair of polish dogs.

She had been terribly curious to see how Spiderman went about eating and keeping his secret identity, and when they took a seat at an out-of-service bus station, her pondering was answered; he simply rolled the mask up to just above his nostrils. It looked a bit silly admittedly, but she was walking around in a jacket full of bullet holes and a tear where she'd been stabbed, who was she to judge?

"Mind if I ask why you uh...defected from the X-Men?"

"Difference of opinion I guess." Julia shrugged. She found his friendliness relaxing, it made him easy to talk to. And she figured he would understand the troubles of trying to be a hero. "I got tired of trying to be a pacifist in a world full of war-mongers. I got tired of laying down and taking it rather than fighting back."

"I've never really understood why people hate mutants so much. You seem pretty normal to me."

"You also travel by web-slinging and can walk on walls."

"Oh. Valid."

"Besides all that, you're one of a kind, you know? But more and more mutants are born everyday, and most of them will end up with powers. That scares people. Even if we try to be peaceful, they're afraid because their species doesn't multiply as fast as we do, they're getting pushed off the grid. If that Jameson guy didn't slander you as much as he does, people would probably love you the same way they do Captain America or Iron Man. Because you're that one in a million they can all look up to."

"Man. You're a depressing lady to talk to, Eclipse." Spidey frowned over at her.

She chuckled a little. "Yeah. It's hard not to be a little jaded when you deal with this crap from the day you hit puberty onward. And now-a-days we get hunted down like it's open season."

"Those Purifier guys?"

"Mostly. There are a bunch of other groups, but they're the worst. They've got military connections and crap."

"Yeah, I've been in their base here a time or two, over on the river front. They started trying to convince Jameson to start telling New York I'm a mutant. Er...not that I would have found that insulting or anything."

"Of course not. But it would have made you fair game." She added more mustard to the last of her hotdog, trying not to look too terribly interested in hearing the answer to her next question. "This base or whatever, did you get a look at what's inside?"

Spidey shrugged. "Just the basics. Guns and stuff. Looked like some serious hardware though. They tried to incinerate me so I let them keep them until the police felt like dealing with it."

"Have they?"

"I dunno." He stuffed the last of his own snack into his mouth, chewing inelegantly.

"Hm. Pity. It's not like it's not obvious they're zealots. Painting everything they get their hands on with crosses and parading around."

"Yeah, their warehouse looks about like that. Got a big ol' metal crucifix stuck to the roof and they rally there like once a week." Spidey rolled his mask back down, appearing not to realize he had just given Julia everything she wanted to know. "Anyway, food and conversation were both nice, but I should probably get back on the whole patrol thing. New York may hate me, but half the city freaks out if I disappear for too long."

"Sure thing." Julia nodded, standing up as he did.

"You going to be okay on your own?"

She smirked. "Trust me, I can handle myself."

"Yeah. Good point. See ya around then, Eclipse." He raised his hand, webbing shooting forth and attaching to the top of a building nearly a block away. Waving once, Spidey took off into the air.

Julia, meanwhile, took to the streets, pointed back in the direction of the Brotherhood. A Purifier base, right nearby where she had a clear shot at it. A shot she definitely planned to take.

That said, she also certainly planned to have full-access to her powers, which meant she had better be in uniform when she did so; she felt much better with the plan if it didn't involve her ending up naked in front of God only knew how many Purifiers. For now, she would prepare, and tomorrow night she would make her move.

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><p>Julia opened her door into the hallway, peering down both directions to confirm no one was watching her, holding Rogue's poor abused coat close to her chest over her costume. Mystique had been watching her closely when she returned that morning from New York, but she didn't seem to be so interested now. Maybe she had gotten bored?<p>

It didn't matter though. Julia crept carefully down the hall, down the stairs and out the front door. She had, for the briefest moment, considered trying to get the Brotherhood to back her up, or at least, maybe Quicksilver or Sabertooth. She had quickly dismissed the thought, Sabertooth was psychotic and feral, there was no way she would risk turning him loose in New York, and Quicksilver would only be interested if Magneto sanctioned the attack first. No chances of that, so she was on her own.

That aside, Julia considered this her mission. Her duty. She wouldn't trust the others with it, she had to do it alone. She headed a ways down the road, and caught the first bus that headed towards the waterfront.

_Spidey wasn't lying. That's a heck of a crucifix, _Eclipse thought, able to observe the iron monstrosity from three blocks away. At least that didn't leave any question as to which warehouse was the Purifier's. She shed the coat and folded it, leaving it at the bus stop she had got off at. She didn't know whether it would still be here when she got back, but she supposed since she didn't get cold in her energy form, she could survive if it wasn't.

Eclipse shifted forms, pulled her hood up, and transported herself up onto the roof of the nearest warehouse, wanting to scope out the situation before she jumped into anything. The spaces between the large buildings were small, but she still used matter displacement to cross them, not wanting to create any unneeded noise, the closer she managed to get to the Purifiers before they noticed her, the better.

At the building neighboring theirs, Eclipse crouched low to the ground, peering over the edge of the roof. There was a moving van in front of the building, flanked by several Purifiers in varying states of excitement. _That's weird. Spiderman said they rallied here, but what's with the truck? _Her eyes narrowed when the doors opened, and two more Purifiers emerged, bearing a gurney between them, a teenage boy strapped down to it with duct tape over his mouth. Obviously not because he was injured, but because he was trying to struggle free. The boy's arms were disproportionate with the rest of him, curling into lizard like claws at the elbows, and from the look of things, he also had a tail; the boy was obviously a mutant. And that meant Eclipse had to get him out of here as soon as possible.

She flew off the roof, displacing herself towards the Purifier nearest her, scarcely waiting to be fully solid again before slashing through his mid-section with her claws. He barely had time to scream as he fell, and Eclipse had already moved onto her next target. He saw her coming and took a swing at her with some sort of energized billy club. It hit her in the shoulder, hard, hurting a little but not nearly enough to slow down the punch she threw in return. There were seven of them, five not counting the ones already down for the count; Eclipse did have to wonder how many were in the warehouse though. Another slash and a sharp kick took down two more, leaving only the two carrying the gurney, and a third with a gun, just like the radiation weapons she had seen at Jefferson Telmond's. He raised the gun at her, shouting for the other two to get the boy inside, and Eclipse started toward him at a sprint, hoping to get the boy before they got him inside, where she was willing to bet more Purifiers were waiting. The one with the gun started to pull the trigger, but before it fired, a white strand of what looked oddly like rope shot out of the sky and yanked it away, splashing down in the river somewhere. Eclipse clawed the remaining three Purifiers and started to free the young mutant before she even bothered acknowledging the assist.

"I'm starting to think Jameson is right about you. You really do have a knack for showing up where you aren't wanted."

"It's a gift." Spiderman appeared at her side from nowhere. He was silent for a moment. "Wait a sec...Eclipse?"

"Yep. Hi there." The buckles on the gurney came off easily enough, so did the tape holding the kids mouth shut. "Are you alright?"

"I...uh...yeah." He was staring at her in confusion, and his eyes darted back to Spiderman every once in awhile, filled with awe. "Are you the X-Men?"

"Not exactly. He's definitely not. Where do you live? Do you think you can get home safely?"

"Yeah...uhm, thank you, for saving me. The Purifiers have been catching a bunch of mutants lately and bringing them here. No one knows what for. My mom said I shouldn't go out but... I wanted to see if they had my friend."

"What does your friend look like? I'll see if I can find them. If you go home that is."

"Really? Uhm...she's my age, and she's got really bright orange hair and eyes. You'll probably know her when you see her, she glows most of time."

"Alright. I'll find your friend. But you need to get out of here." The boy nodded and was gone soon afterwords, darting down alleys. Eclipse started toward the door of the warehouse, and sensed rather than heard Spiderman following her.

"What's with the lady-ninja get-up?"

"Well, first I was just going to destroy as much of their weaponry as I could, but now it looks like I've got a rescue mission too."

"I thought you said you weren't with Magneto!"

"I never said I was, and I never said I wasn't." Spiderman stepped in front of her, blocking the door. "What?"

"Did you kill those guys? The ones you clawed?"

"No." He refused to move. "Really, I didn't. The one I got in the stomach might have a little trouble walking after tonight, but my claws usually don't kill people. They phase through them and interrupt the synapses. Most people are fine after an hour or two. I'm not here to kill people, I'm just here to stop them." She neglected to mention the fact that the amount of energy she had used to charge the claws had probably permanently crippled one of them, and the others would likely have twitches in a few hours when they woke up.

"By yourself?"

"Yeah. Don't worry. I can handle it."

"They've got guns."

"I know."

"Really big guns."

"I know."

"I'm pretty sure they're lasers."

"Listen, they have a child in there, and I don't give a damn what you say, I'm going in there and I'm going to help her, because you and I both know nobody else will! Just because she's a mutant doesn't mean it's okay to leave her behind. If that was a normal human you'd be busting in to rescue her no questions asked! Now, if you continue to get in my way I'll claw you too."

"Hey, you don't need to be getting all defensive, okay? I did just save your life."

"My mutant power is absorbing energy. It wouldn't have hurt, let alone kill me."

"Well, gee, you're welcome," he responded sarcastically.

"Please move." She sat a hand on his shoulder, and shoved him none to gently out of the way, and pulled the door open. Instantly, she was greeted with a blast of radiation-based energy.

"Eclipse-!" Despite Spiderman's evident concern -he had apparently ignored what she had just said- the blast didn't even manage to make her flinch, compressing and vanishing as though she had a black hole in the center of her chest. She launched at the one who had fired, tearing the gun from his hands and cracking it over his head. One charged at her from behind, but he fell to the ground in a pile of webbing, Spiderman leaping into the fight without hesitation or, in her mind, much reason.

"So am I supposed to take this to mean you plan on following me the whole time?" She questioned, throwing a punch with one hand and swiping her claws with the other.

"Well, you're right you know, it's not like we can leave that girl here."

"A second ago you wanted to stop me, now all of a sudden you plan on coming along?"

"I didn't want to stop you-" He paused long enough to toss a Purifier into several more charging in through a door over to the left, "-I just wanted to convince you to use the roof entrance so we could avoid _this_."

"They had a roof entrance?"

"Yeah, yeah they did. Too late now though, isn't it?" Spiderman raised his hands, webbing closed the door which seemed to be the Purifiers main method of getting into the hallway he and Eclipse were stationed in. "Okay, so, I'm hoping you came here with a plan."

"Honestly, not exactly." Eclipse turned to the door opposite the one most of the Purifiers had been using. "I was kind of planning on just breaking everything, maybe torching the place. But now, with that girl being here...look, Spidey, this isn't your business. This is a mutant trying to save a mutant from a bunch of mutant-haters. If you get involved, this is going to blow what little reputation you have sky-high."

"So you seriously think I care about reputation?"

Eclipse raised an eyebrow at him. "I don't know. Do you?"

"Not enough to leave a little girl here without trying to help." He gestured toward the door he had closed up with web. "I think they'll know I was here one way or another."

Eclipse crossed her arms and looked at him. "Fine. I don't care if you come along, if you help. But you don't interfere."

"Yes Ma'am." Spiderman gave her a floppy salute, and they started down the nearest corridor together and Eclipse found his crawling along the ceiling to be quite familiar to past exploits with the X-Men. She gave her head a shake, now was hardly the time be getting nostalgic. There was a girl in here somewhere, and who only knew what the Purifiers were doing to her. When had they started this kidnapping nonsense anyway? She'd never heard of them kidnapping people before, killing sure, but why-?

"Hang on." She held up a hand.

"Why?"

"I see something. I'm not sure what yet."

"I don't-"

"I don't mean physically. It's an energy pattern, it could be the girl."

"Because she glows?"

"Yeah. But it also looks and feels like radiation, so it could just be more of those guns."

"Oh, well, in that case, ladies first."

"Ah. How noble." Eclipse scoffed up at him sarcastically.

"Hey, I saw you live through getting shot with one of those things, but I'm pretty sure they'd kill me. Or at least, I dunno, cause a really nasty rash."

"Alright, well, how about I'll go investigate this glow and you go see if you can find where they're keeping the rest of their guns? And maybe figure out where they're getting all this junk. We can meet back here in about twenty minutes."

"Yeah. Uh...be careful."

"You too." Eclipse broke into plasma, and vanished down through a grate, Spiderman continuing the way they had been going hitting Purifiers with web-missiles and scathing one-liners the whole way.

* * *

><p>The energy spark Eclipse followed took her down several more hallways, none of them looking particularly interesting, but with the energy signature getting steadily more powerful. Oddly, she also felt like there were two, one somehow laid over-top the other. She couldn't quite make out what it meant. A Purifier approached her, and she made sure to take him out before he could alert anyone else to her presence; they didn't seem to know about her yet, or Spidey wherever he had got to. She wondered what was motivating him to help. Especially after she had made it fairly clear she didn't want him here. Eclipse halted when she found herself definitely feeling a pull from the energy source, she was close. Pressing her palms against the wall to her left, she decided it had to be the location.<p>

She sprinted, following the wall until she found a door, wrenching it open, and ending up in something that didn't look entirely unlike Hank's laboratory. The mixed patterns she had been feeling originated from what, at first glance, appeared to be a sealed-off MRI machine. But the closer Eclipse got, the more she realized this thing, whatever it was, was putting out freakish amounts of radiation. And the other energy pattern she had been feeling was buried somewhere within all the radiation.

"Oh hell..." She muttered aloud, "-please don't let this be what I think it is..." She turned to the nearest computer, which seemed to be the most directly linked with the machine, giving some kind of continuous read-out, which, if she didn't miss her guess, was a heart monitor. The top of the screen was labeled "Trial 7". She didn't think she wanted to know what had happened to the first six.

Unable to find an off switch, Eclipse went with her next best choice, picking up the nearest heavy object and smashing everything in sight. After the fourth computer, she felt the radiation from the machine abruptly stop and heard the electric lock click open; the pattern that had been hidden beneath it flickering dangerously.

_Please be alive, please be alive. Please, please be alive. _Eclipse wrenched the little lead-lined door open, and found a faintly glowing little orange-haired teenager inside. She was gaunt, and when Eclipse reached in to pull her free, her skin was cold, probably drugged. But she was breathing, and whatever her mutation was, it seemed to have saved her from radiation poisoning.

Was that was this was? A test to see how much radiation it took to kill different kinds of mutants? Or was it just what the Purifiers did to get their sick-as-hell kicks?

She tilted her head to the sounds of multiple footsteps, and laid the girl down as gently as she was able amongst all the debris. She turned to meet the Purifiers in the doorway, claws fully extended, and fully prepared to kill the sick sons-of-bitches.

"Which one of you is responsible for this?" She spat, her hair raging behind her head, the ponytail doing little to contain it now. "Which one? Point him out. He dies last, after I shred every nerve in his body."

Instead of doing as she said and handing over their head scientist, they ran.

They never made it out the door.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Spiderman was booking it down the hallway in a marathon to locate Eclipse. He wasn't totally sure what the lady's motive were, or whether he trusted her, but given the loads and loads of detailed reports he had found on the mutant experiments they were doing, he had decided helping Eclipse find the girl was going to take priority. The kind of things they were doing here belonged in horror stories.<p>

He came around a corner and very nearly tripped over what very much resembled a dead body. He had taken Eclipse on her word that she hadn't killed the ones out front, but these guys, all six or seven of them, looked very, very dead.

Gingerly, Spidey stepped over the bodies, and found his new ally on her knees amongst broken machinery, a softly glowing girl in her arms.

"Phew. You found her. I thought-"

"They were trying to kill her," Eclipse said softly, but with enough menace that Spiderman halted. "She's fourteen. She's fourteen fucking years old, and when their guns didn't work, they wanted to see what would. They're sick. They're sick bastards and they should die."

If nothing else, Spidey decided that probably meant he wasn't wrong about those guys by the door. "Eclipse, don't you realize what you've done? If you seriously killed all those people-"

"You'll what?" She craned her neck to snarl at him over her shoulder. "Arrest me? Lock me up and throw away the key? They were trying to kill her! And I seriously doubt she's the first."

"Okay, okay, no need to get so angry. What about the girl, is she okay?"

Eclipse glared at him slightly. "She needs a doctor."

"I can-"

"She can't go to a hospital, she's a mutant. They'd probably throw her back out. Is there a way you can get a hold of the Xavier institute? Dr. McCoy or Professor Xavier will probably know what to do."

"Why don't you-"

"Just do it!" Eclipse snapped, and when the Spidey-sense started tingling just the tiniest bit, Spiderman decided it would probably be prudent to listen to the very angry mutant-shadow-lady. She shuffled the girl into his arms, and turned away as though to leave.

"Wait. What are you going to do?" He questioned, fearing for the other men he had seen scattered throughout the complex. Yeah, they were all slimy pond-scum jerks, but they didn't really deserve to die. Did they?

"Take her and leave."

"Eclipse, what are you going to-"

"Leave now!" Part of him was willing to fight her on it, and try to prevent her from hurting anyone else, but he also had to think about the mutant girl he was carrying, who's breath was shaky at best. He knew the Xavier Institute number, Professor Xavier had given it to him ages ago in case he ever ran into any mutants he needed help handling, and he wondered, if he did call the X-Men, whether they would be able to get here in time to do something about Eclipse and her rage issues.

In the end, calling Xavier was probably the only way he would be able to save the girl and still have any chance at stopping Eclipse. That decided, he turned to leave her to whatever her business was.

The next time he saw the warehouse, it was in flames.

* * *

><p>Eclipse found Mystique waiting for her in the hallway again. The red-head had her arms crossed, and a stony look etched onto her features.<p>

"What?" The word sounded forlorn to Eclipse's ears, and she supposed what she had done must be weighing heavier on her than she had expected. Once again, she had been acting in utter fury, but this time the enormity of what she had done was far more significant. She had set that building ablaze while there were still people in there. Purifiers yes, but Purifiers unable to make an escape, some likely unable to even scream while they burned to death.

Did she regret it? Not exactly. But did it make her feel like on some level she was just as bad as the Purifiers? Yes, it really did.

"I have to admit, I really didn't think you had it in you," Mystique said as though it were a greeting.

"What?"

"Don't play coy. That little pyro act you pulled has been all over the news. Your kill count shot up from one to twenty-four in as many hours. Some did manage to crawl their way out of there, but, well...I suppose we can't think of everything all the time."

"What's your point Mystique?"

"The point is I really had trouble seeing you outgrowing the X-Men's stupid rules, but you've managed to prove me wrong. Congratulations."

"Yeah, because my goal was definitely to impress you," Julia bit out between her teeth. "Look, I'm tired and I want to go to bed, so could you possibly do me the kindness of not bothering me?"

"I just wanted you to know," Mystique continued as though she hadn't heard her, "-that as far as I'm concerned, you're one of us now. You've proven you can be a member of the Brotherhood."

"It had nothing to do with the Brotherhood. I was just...I just wanted to stop the Purifiers."

"So do we. What's the difference between stopping them with us, and trying to do it yourself?"

"I don't like killing, that's what. I didn't go there planning to kill anybody, I only meant to destroy the weapons. But when I saw the experiments they'd been doing...I just snapped...I just wanted to hurt them, the way they hurt all those other mutants. But you always kill them. You kill people who aren't even involved."

"You want to know a secret?" Mystique's tone, which had so far been rather on the kind side, suddenly reverted to the cold one she had always used with Eclipse. "The only way to really stop those wretched little humans is to kill them. If we let them live, they'll just build something bigger, badder, and more deadly to hunt us with. If nothing else, it makes a statement. It tells them mutants aren't easy targets and joining the Purifiers or one of those other damn groups is a horrible mistake. Unless the human government starts making amends and protecting mutants, somebody has to stand up for them. That's us. So, are you with us Eclipse? Or are you willing to let them push you around like before?"

"I said I would fight the Purifiers. Whether I kill them or not is my decision. And I said I was willing to work with the Brotherhood, but I'm not letting you push me around either Mystique, so I suggest you stop trying to manipulate me into doing your killing for you."

Eclipse continued up the stairs and could feel Mystique's yellow glare boring into the back of her skull.

It was starting to look like she didn't belong with the Brotherhood anymore than she had the X-Men. Maybe it was time to consider going on the lam again.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note 2: Well, all I really wanted to say was the reason that Spiderman is in this chapter is because it seemed to flow better than having someone from the Brotherhood go with her. This was a Quicksilver and Eclipse chapter in the beginning, but I just wasn't liking the way it was turning out. So I went with the team-up idea. If Eclipse were a real Marvel character, I would love to see her and Spidey team up. Or Ms. Marvel, if only because she was one of the influences on Eclipse's powersdesign. Of course, I'd also like to see them fight. Anyway, I'm sorry if Spidey's character isn't quite up to par, i don't think he's a funny as he usually is, but, well, I tried. :) _


	21. Chapter 21

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author_'s _Note: Oh lordy. This is pretty drama-filled, hahaha. I need to lay of the romance novels I think. D: Anyway, moving right along, I'll just let you all read in peace for a change. :) _

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><p><strong>Chapter 21<strong>

"Pay attention Elf! You can teleport, so flamin' use it!"

Kurt's first day back in the Danger Room, and of course it happened to be a day where Logan got to pick the exercise. Naturally, he had chosen a full-on fracas with illusory mutants they had fought in the past. Sabertooth, Avalanche, and Blob to name a few. It had not been a fun morning.

For the time being, Kurt was now taking refuge behind one of the hologram pieces of earth Avalanche had torn up, attempting to collect himself. Avalanche, so far, was being the biggest problem, so in another second or two Kurt was planning to go grab Wolverine, 'port him over toward Avalanche, and let Wolverine's claws do the rest.

This was of course, before he caught a glimpse of long, smoke-like black hair, and shimmery black skin. For a moment, he thought he must have surely lost his mind, but when he blinked and she was still there, he couldn't help himself.

"Jyulia?" She turned, and Kurt was knocked flat on his back by a kick to the chest. The simulation died around him, the enemies fading to their generic android shells, and Kurt was sitting up with a wheeze. "Vhy vould you put her in here?" He demanded, glaring at Logan.

"I didn't."

"She's not an enemy! Vhy is she part of de program?" His voice was rising in sheer frustration. So he hadn't managed to convince her to come back, why was it necessary to rub it in?

"Seriously Kurt, that wasn't me." Logan shook his head, looking nearly as alarmed as Kurt that a holographic Julia had shown up.

"For once he's right. That was on me," Cyclops spoke up from the door.

"And just what the hell are ya tryin' to pull Summers?" Logan crossed his burly arms.

"It was just a test." Scott shrugged. "I just wanted to see what you guys would do if we do ever have to fight Julia. And apparently the answer is get your asses kicked."

"For a test, that vas extremely cruel, _mein freund._" Kurt's voice was bitter enough to make the words sound more like an insult than a term of friendship.

_I'd have to agree with Kurt, Scott._ Xavier's telepathic voice boomed into all three of their thoughts simultaneously. _Please come to my office, we need to discuss this._

Logan gave a little "I told you so" snort in Scott's direction, and Kurt found himself having a hard time resisting a powerful urge to punch Scott in the back of the head as he walked away. Not only had Scott's test been cruel, he felt it had been very uncalled-for. He for one didn't consider Julia a villain, and he was uncomfortable with the fact Scott so easily tossed her in with the other 'standard villains' in the Danger Room's program.

"I dhink I'm done for the day," Kurt said, shaking his head and turning to leave the Danger Room.

"Kurt, you know he's sorta right, don't you?"

"Vhat do you mean?"

"About fighting Jules. It's not like it ain't a possibility."

"I know. That doesn't mean I vant to practice it." In an odd way, it made him feel like he was somehow betraying her. That by treating her like an enemy, even if it was only in the Danger Room, that he would eventually actually begin to see her that way, and he truly, truly didn't want to think of her that way. No matter how deluded it might seem to the others, Kurt still wanted to believe that Julia wasn't with Magneto because she wanted to hurt humans, but because she simply hadn't known where else to turn. Julia wasn't his enemy, he didn't care what the others wanted to believe.

* * *

><p>Several floors above, Scott was getting what could only be called an evil eye from Xavier, the older man's hands folded as he observed his student.<p>

"I hope you have an explanation for this Scott."

"It was just a test Professor."

"It was crude. You know how he feels about her, and you know how badly her leaving hurt him. How could you expect Kurt to fight Julia?"

"With all-due respect, Professor, she's picked her side. And last I checked, she wasn't holding back because we used to be her friends."

"We are _still_ her friends Scott. Julia may have gone to Eric, but that doesn't mean we have to abandon her. And I don't think you're taking into consideration how badly she could have hurt you in that farm house."

"She nearly broke my jaw."

"I think we both know she could have done much worse if she had chosen to. All things considered, you're probably lucky you're still walking. My point is, Scott, that Kurt is having a difficult time dealing with this; having Julia appear in the Danger Room is only going to make it worse, so I ask that you don't do so again. I would honestly prefer not to alienate Kurt because you feel the need to ask him to physically attack the woman he loves."

"I'm sorry Professor, but I felt like it was necessary to see what he would do, just in case. I won't risk the others if Kurt or Logan will end up hesitating to put her down."

"Would we be having this conversation if it were Jean who had defected to Brotherhood?"

"I...what?"

"I'm asking you to put yourself in Kurt's place for a moment. Imagine we were talking about Jean."

"I would do what had to be done." Scott said firmly, but not so firmly that the Professor couldn't detect the sudden doubt in his voice.

"Would you? Or would you be trying to find any possible hope to convince her to return? You would be trying to help her Scott, not abandon her, which is why you can't ask Kurt to do the same to Julia. And, while we're on the subject, as fond as you are for blaming yourself for everything, you are not responsible for Julia leaving, I imagine to some degree we all share the blame." Xavier sighed slightly, shaking his head. "Looking back now I imagine always telling her that she wasn't allowed to stand up for the people she cared about made our attempts at peace look fairly bleak. Most of you in the X-Men have enough experience with my policies, but I suppose I didn't ever discuss it enough with Julia for her to fully understand."

"But I was still the one who thought we should turn her over the MRD."

"As I said, I think we can all share a little of the blame," The Professor acquiesced, before his eyes suddenly darted upward. "Kurt just left."

"What? Where?"

"I'm afraid I don't know. He was shutting me out." The Professor shook his head, looking concerned.

"Do you think he knows where Julia is?" Scott asked, on the one hand disappointed that Kurt hadn't shared the information if he did, and on the other, fully understanding why he wouldn't want to.

"Even if he does, I don't think we should follow him. If Kurt doesn't feel he can trust us with her location, I think it would be wiser not to push the issue. As I said, I'd like to avoid pushing Kurt away-"

"But what if he's walking right into the Brotherhood?" Scott demanded. "Magneto _might_ have let Kurt come and go, he _might _have understood why he would want to see Julia, but you know Mystique sure as hell won't. You can't seriously let him just wander off on his own like that!"

"I understand why you're worried Scott, I do. But we can't fix this for Kurt, he must find his own solution. I'll be keeping tabs on him with Cerebro, and we will go and retrieve him if it become necessary. However, until then, I think it's best we back off."

Though Scott didn't exactly agree with the Professor on this one, he knew he probably wouldn't have a whole lot of luck finding Kurt on his own, so he simply left it at that. That did not, however, stop him from wishing the Professor had at least sent someone after Kurt, just in case.

The door opened and Storm stepped half into the room, holding the cordless phone from the main floor. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but you may want to hear this Charles. Someone claiming to be Spiderman is calling from New York with some...worrisome news."

* * *

><p>Julia's hair was shorter. Not by a lot, a few inches as most, but it was cut differently, bringing out a waviness he had only seen very early in the mornings when she didn't comb her hair before going to bed. Kurt wondered if anyone but him would have noticed the difference.<p>

The only other thing that had changed was her eyes. They seemed apathetic somehow, as though she had become tired of everyone and everything. A big part of him longed to do something to make her smile, bring back the silver light in her eyes he had always adored, but the part of him that won kept him up on the fire-escape balcony where he could watch her without being seen himself.

This was fast becoming an unhealthy relationship on his end.

Julia had left the Brotherhood's headquarters, if that's what you wanted to call the pleasantly quaint little apartment complex, nearly an hour ago and Kurt had been following her along the rooftops ever since. If he was going to believe she was one of the Brotherhood, he wanted proof; or he likewise wanted some reassurance that he was right about her, that she wasn't the enemy he felt Scott kept trying to make her.

So far though, all she had done was wander around the streets of New York, particularly through an older section of town, between the suburbs and the big city, and he noticed she spent an awful lot of time down dark alleys where he wouldn't like to let anyone wander through alone. He wondered what she was looking for.

Julia made a turn onto a busier street, which meant Kurt had to migrate upwards to avoid getting into too much light and making himself obvious. She stopped at a corner, and simply seemed to be looking around for a few minutes, before suddenly turning back around and heading the same way she had come. Kurt had the strangest feeling he had somehow been spotted.

She didn't stop again until she had reached the Brotherhood house, and Kurt hung back until he saw the light come on in her window, and then teleported to the eave above. He didn't really know what he was waiting for, he didn't know what he really expected to find; he was starting to wonder if maybe he had just wanted to see her.

The window below him opened, and he saw the top of Julia's head emerge from inside.

"Jyulia?" Her eyes shot upwards, instantly recognizing his voice, and seeming to also instantly know where he was. Though the reaction wasn't quite what he had expected, Julia suddenly jerking back from the window.

"What are you doing here?" She demanded in a low hiss as Kurt climbed down to the open window, the better to talk to her, though she didn't seem to want to. He perched on the sill, balancing himself with a hand braced on the side. "If Mystique catches you-"

"She von't." As angry as she had seemed a moment ago, Julia suddenly softened again, perhaps he looked more despondent than he had thought. Her eyes wandered his face, and her hand touched his cheek lightly.

"Are you okay Kurt? Why are you here?"

"I don't really know honestly." He shook his head, leaning his head into her hand. "I guess I just miss my Jyulia."

Her eyes were sad when she met his gaze again, and she sighed. "Well, no sense in you sitting on the window sill in the cold. Might as well come in."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, come on." Her fingers wrapped around his and pulled lightly, closing the window behind him when he was inside. For a long time, they were awkwardly silent, and then Julia let go of his hand and turned to sit on the foot of the bed. "How's the shoulder?" She asked as though she didn't know what else to say.

"It's better. Barely even a scar."

"Good." She smiled, and though it was small, it seemed genuine. "I'm glad. Hank was worried you might not be able to use your arm afterward."

"Ja, but it vas only muscles. No bones. It healed up fine." This was not what he had wanted to talk about, at all. Trouble was, he didn't exactly know what he actually wanted to say. He just wanted things to be like they were before; he wanted Julia back, and he wanted to forget the entire incident of her killing anyone. Only he knew he couldn't. That wasn't something he could just ignore or truly forget. He knew it would probably always linger in the back of his mind. That said, he was more than willing to try to come to terms with it. "Are you okay Jyulia? Has Mystique-"

"I meant to ask you," She interrupted, "-why didn't you ever tell me she was your mother?"

Kurt was caught off-guard by this. Mystique had never really been any more keen on letting people know they were related than he was, though he supposed it stood to reason. There was little to no doubt in Kurt's mind that Mystique perceived Julia as a threat, both because she was new to the Brotherhood, and because of her ties to the X-Men, and was probably bent on either getting rid of Julia, or turning her into an emotional wreck. And if she thought managing to convince Julia that Kurt had been keeping secrets would be the way to do that, she would be pressing the advantage, even if it meant discussing her 'prodigal son'.

In answer to her question, Kurt could only shrug, arranging himself on the bed post beside her, completely unsure of what to do with himself. "It's not really something I vould vant to advertise. I vasn't really sure vhat I vould say anyvay."

"Did the others know?"

"Ja. Most of them."

"So why not me? Why didn't you tell me?" The look she gave him wasn't really sad, or angry, it was more confused than anything else. He perceived this was because she was trying to figure out why he hadn't told her; maybe thinking that it was because he hadn't trusted her.

"Because I didn't vant you to...to hate me. Or Mystique."

"Hmph. All I'd have to do to hate her is speak to her." Julia said, somewhat snidely, crossing her arms. "But why do you think I'd hate you for that?"

"You said so yourself, she's not de most likable person in the vorld."

"Well, yeah, but you're her son, you're not her clone. Nobody is going to judge you based on a family relation, Kurt. Certainly not me at least."

"I know you vouldn't. But...it's still a hard stigma to break."

Julia reached over and set her hand against his back, before leaning her forehead onto his shoulder. "I don't hate you. And I don't hate her for not wanting you. Personally, I think you turned out all the better being raised in a circus instead of by that psycho-witch."

"Ja. Suppose that's probably true." Kurt leaned his head against hers, but was sorely tempted for more. To feel her skin against his fur, to feel her breath on his neck, to feel her warmth under his hands, to have her close and hold her all night the way he had before. It was made all the more potent by the fact he couldn't have it. Or at least, not like before.

"Kurt?"

"Hm?"

"Are you mad at me?"

"I...no. I'm not mad at you, _liebling. _I'm mad at everydhing I think. I don't think any of dhis vas entirely your fault, but I don't think anybody can say they're innocent either."

"What about you? All you did was get shot."

"Ja, but...I also probably could have teleported before I vas hit. I vas just really angry at de vord- the name he almost called you."

"I think you may be a little too chivalrous for your own good sweetheart." Julia said with a soft chuckle.

The sound of footsteps outside the door had both mutants breaking the semi-embrace and springing to their feet. For a moment, they merely looked at each other in a panic, automatically assuming the worst, before Julia suddenly grabbed a hold of Kurt by the front of his shirt and literally threw him into the closet before squeezing in beside him. Their bodies were wedged together in just such a way that Kurt was supremely aware of how small the closet had suddenly become, and that he could feel her heart beating against his own, her breath on his ear.

They held as still and silent as possible, and listened to the bedroom door open, steps around the room, and then silence before the door finally closed again. After a few moments of quiet, which seemed to indicate the room was empty, Julia let out a quiet exhale against his neck, burying her face there and burrowing against Kurt in the small confined space, her arms wrapping around his neck. He felt he suddenly understood how lonely she was here, isolated from her friends.

"Do you have the Image Inducer with you?"

"Ja, vhy?"

"I want to get out of here. I don't care where. Anywhere. I feel like this place is making me go freaking crazy. I need to leave. And I...I wanted to see you for a little longer..."

"I vill go vith you. At least for tonight." He promised, kissing the top of her head. Kurt knew it was a terrible idea. He knew there was no way spending the night with her was going to ease the ache; it could only make it worse when they were forced to separate again. And he knew they would be, sooner or later. But he couldn't say no. He wanted to disappear for the night as much as she did, maybe more.

But that didn't change that fact that in the morning reality would come screaming back to tear them apart.

* * *

><p>Kurt was always far too precious for words in the mornings. He was a cuddler through and through; even if he started the night trying to be polite and give her personal space, she always woke up with Kurt's body cocooned around hers. This morning was no exception, his limbs were all wrapped around her as though, when they had finally fallen into restless sleep, he had known she had been thinking of sneaking away, and that he was going to try and prevent her escape.<p>

This thought made her sigh slightly, hopefully quiet enough not to wake him. She had never intended this to happen. Of course, she had never intended Kurt to come find her again either. She didn't know what she _had _intended; maybe being away from him to magically make her fall out of love with Kurt?

_Yeah, never in a million years._ Julia berated herself silently. Truth be told, she was amazed at her own restraint; despite all the the love and pent up feelings that had swept over her with overwhelming force she had not latched onto him the moment she saw him. She found it impossible not to think of him at least a couple times a day, and her sleep without Kurt's comforting presence was never restful; the longer she was away, the more time she spent wrapped up in thoughts of how much she missed him. How much she missed moments like this; when her face was cuddled against his warm shoulder and she could just barely hear his heart in her ear.

And how much she hated feeling like she had somehow only used him for physical comfort.

As silently as she could, Julia unwound herself from Kurt's arms, tugging his tail away from her waist and attempting to fill the space with the pillow she had been using. He was going to hate her, she just knew it; Kurt was catholic for heaven's sake, he didn't take sleeping with her lightly, and it was going to make him feel ten times worse than it was making her feel to discover she had sneaked away like this was some kind of one-night stand. She didn't know whether he would ever understand why she had to leave now, right that second, or she would never be able to. All he would have to do is ask her, and she would never, ever leave him again.

She had to. Too much had changed, too much was at risk. She couldn't let Kurt get wound up into what was becoming a killing spree on her part. He was a good person, a wonderful person, and he didn't deserve to get caught up in her problems, in the hatred that kept making her do things she never would have imagined herself capable of doing not so long ago.

All this was what made last night one of the poorest decisions of her life. She wished she could have just stomped down everything she felt for him and told him to go away; but her resistance had lasted all of about forty-five seconds and then being as close him as she possibly could had seemed more important than her next breath. And being close had, naturally, evolved into getting naked; the passion which had accumulated over their separation spilling over.

She was a mess, mentally and emotionally. She couldn't seem to keep her head on straight ever, whether with people she hated or the person she loved more than anything else. Both their sets of clothes were discarded in a random heap by the door, and Julia crept over as quietly as she could in an attempt to fish hers out.

Just when Julia thought she was going to get away, her hand on the doorknob, she heard the air behind her implode, and Kurt's hand circled over hers, catching her around the middle in his other arm.

"Don't leave."

_Dammit. _

"Figures. You would catch me."

"Ja, I vould." He agreed nonchalantly, though his arm tightened slightly. "Vhy are you running avay from me?"

"I'm not running away. I'm just- well, I was trying to sneak away."

"I know. I vas avake. Vhy?" Julia stared hard at the door; she didn't even like the reasons why, she sure as hell didn't want to try and explain them to Kurt. "Jyulia, vhy von't you talk to me? Vhy can't I help you?"

"I...Kurt, I don't think you can."

"Vill you at least let me try?"

"No. I just...I just can't." Her throat was suddenly tight, and she wasn't sure how much longer she was going to make it in the conversation without tears. As though he was in the exact same predicament, she felt Kurt's head droop against the back of her neck, burying his face in her hair.

"Please don't leave me." He whispered the words into her hair.

"Kurt-" He ignored the plea in her voice and continued in a rush.

"I understand if you don't vant to go home, but...I don't vant to lose you. Not completely. Not like dhis."

Julia swallowed hard, forcing the salty block of tears in her throat back down into her chest, but felt none the better for it. It wasn't like she wanted to do this, to try and walk out on the best thing that had ever happened to her. But if he knew what she had done...what had happened in New York...the idea of breaking his heart appealed more to her than Kurt hating her. So why was she having such a hard time making the decision to pull away from him and leave? Why couldn't she do what she had decided to do hours ago?

_Because he asked you not to, that's why. _A little voice in the back of her head informed her. Right. Because she was too in love with him to actually think of what was best, or at least, what was better. Because her heart wouldn't let logic win.

She swallowed again, twisting in Kurt's arm so that she was facing him, her back leaning on the door so they were actually making eye-contact, and could scarcely believe the next words that fell out of her mouth.

"Would you meet me here again?"

Kurt's eyes widened in what could only be described as shock, which soon melted into carefully concealed hopefulness. His eyes darted briefly around the small motel room.

"Here, specifically?" He questioned, as though doubting how serious she was.

"Yes. I don't feel comfortable with you going to the apartments, I don't want Mystique to catch on, and God knows I couldn't get anywhere near the mansion. So we'll meet here."

"Doesn't that seem a bit...clandestine?"

"I suppose so. I think it's a bad idea anyway but-" He touched her lips, shushing her.

"It vill vork," Kurt cut her off. "Ve vill make it." He swept her into a hug, pulling her flush against him, and her head cuddled against his chest almost instinctively. So it wasn't the most morally upright method of seeing one another, but Julia was willing to sacrifice what little morality she felt she had left if it meant getting to spend just a little longer with Kurt. She didn't care how bad it hurt in the end, she only wanted to care about the here and now.

She pulled her head away again, finding his eyes with hers. "I have a rule," She added, to which Kurt nodded, presumably asking her to continue. "Don't ever ask me what I do with the Brotherhood. Because I will never, ever want to talk about it."

His eyes darkened, and she could see he wanted to ask about it right then and there, but, either to prove he was going to respect her wishes, or because he was afraid to know the answer, he nodded.

"If you don't try to push me avay again, I vill not ask." He promised solemnly.

"Thank you."

For the first time in what felt like ages, Julia was finally able to relax. But it was only for a moment, only until they checked out of the motel and went their separate ways again.


	22. Chapter 22

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Well, this is basically a chapter of Prelude. Not too much exciting happening, but, we'll see where we go from here. :) Nothing much to say other than that. Please enjoy. :) _

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><p><strong>Chapter 22<strong>

Kurt was jolted awake by a flash of lightning that seemed unnaturally close to his face,or at least, that was what he assumed at first. Startled, he scrambled backwards and ended up inelegantly sprawled -half-asleep and naked- on the floor, while somewhere above his head a cute chorus of giggling started up. He knew then that lightning certainly hadn't been responsible for his predicament.

"Jyulia, _mein lieb, _that vas not very nice." Truth be told, he was more relieved to hear her laugh than he was upset at the laughing being at his expense. Smiles were rare and laughing even more so these days, and it had been far too long since she had played any sort of trick on him. It was a nice flash of the old Julia coming back, at least for a little while.

"I don't have a single picture of you anymore," Julia responded, her lips still curved in a smile as she waved a disposable camera at him.

"Und you thought _now_ vould be good time to take vone?" Still in a bit of a sleep-fog, Kurt crawled back into bed next to her, though he didn't imagine he would end up going back to sleep. Julia shrugged, spread on top of the covers in underwear and a t-shirt, her chin resting on her crossed arms.

"I wanted at least one where you weren't posing." She cut him off with her finger on his mouth as he prepared to argue. "And yes, you do always pose. It's in your nature sweetpea, you're a camera ham. Besides, you were so, so adorable...I couldn't resist."

He gave a grumbled response, and then plucked the camera out of her hand with his tail, raising it above the two of them with the point poised over the shutter button. She looked at him curiously, and Kurt shuffled a little closer to her, snapping a picture of them both, and turned his head to press a kiss on her lips, which she eagerly returned, taking another photo to mark the moment. At the flash, she shot him a confused look.

"There. Now you vill have something to fantasize over vhile I'm gone."

For a moment, Julia seemed vaguely aghast, and then she laughed quietly. "And to think I used to buy into that shy-guy act of yours."

"I vas shy. Around you anyvay."

"Why's that?"

Kurt shrugged before answering. "I suppose because I vas terrified of you."

Julia snorted. "What, did you expect me to be like Logan and pop claws whenever you got too close to me?"

"No, nothing like that. Suppose I vas just vorried that all that time I vas falling in love vith you, you vere only trying to be nice to me."

Julia propped herself up on her elbows and gave him and odd look, one he couldn't describe.

"Kurt, hon, you seriously need to deal with these self-esteem issues of yours."

He smiled and shook his head in response. "It's a vork in progress _mein lieb_."

They spent a few moments in a companionable silence, Julia continuing to fiddle with the camera, though she thankfully didn't feel the need to snap anymore pictures of him while he was half-asleep, and Kurt was fishing around the edge of the bed for his pants, using his tail once again because he was simply too lazy to get up and use his hands given the current time of day. He finally found them and dragged the pants to the edge of the bed, digging around in the pocket until his fingers found a thin chain.

"I thought you might vant this back," Kurt held the pearl necklace he had given her once before already, though he could admit it was in a hesitant fashion. He had no clue whether she actually even wanted it anymore, much less if she was going to want to take it back to the Brotherhood with her. He supposed he had been waiting for some sort of moment, some time when things were back to normal; at least, close enough to start digging up the past. Not that it had really been all that long ago. Regardless, no such moment had presented itself, so Kurt had decided that now, while she was in a good mood, was probably the best opportunity he was going to get.

Julia's hands stopped their incessant fiddling with the camera to stare at the pendant before her; apparently in something that resembled shock. "You kept it?" She asked softly, eyes darting to his briefly, before looking away again, as though the whole situation made her entirely uncomfortable.

"Ja. Uhm...I just thought..." His hand ventured back toward his pocket, unsure that he had made the right decision, but her hand caught it gently, her fingers wrapping over his.

"Thank you." Her voice was still soft, but her words were in earnest. "It means a lot to me that you held onto it."

"Suppose I thought maybe you vould come back for it. Or that if I saw you again, I vould at least be able to give it to you."

Julia smiled, another of the few genuine ones he had seen these days, and wrapped the chain around her index finger, effectively tangling their hands together in it. "You're sweet Kurt. You always have been." As though suddenly tired, her head drooped onto his chest, her eyes fixated on her fingers tangling and untangling around his. "I need to ask you for something," Julia said abruptly after a long period of silence.

"Vhat is it?" He glanced down at her, but could only see the the mussed black tangles of her hair.

"It's...the Brotherhood is making plans, and I really don't like where they're going." Kurt was silent, deciding that this probably wasn't the right time to point out the fact that she was breaking her own creed by speaking about her time with the Brotherhood. He waited patiently for the remainder of the tale. "Mystique doesn't trust me -not that I can really blame her I guess- so I've only been able to catch little snippets, but it sounds like they're planning to attack a hospital."

"Vhat? Vhy?"

"I guess...a doctor there has been, well, helping people get plastic surgery to hide mutations."

"But you don't vant to help them?"

"I...I don't know. Not really. I can understand how some mutants would want to hide...and I can understand how he probably thinks he's helping. Mostly, that part just makes me sad. Still, I don't want to kill him. I don't know whether what he's doing is right or not, but I also don't think he's really hurting any mutants...not like the Purifiers. And I...I think the X-Men should be there." The last part of the sentence tumbled out in a rush.

"Jyulia-"

"Just in case things get out of hand. And you know they will. Sabertooth alone is a big enough risk, but if anybody pisses Mystique off...it's a hospital for Heaven's sake, there're going to be way too many patients there. I don't want a bunch of people getting hurt."

"Unless they're Purifiers."

Julia made a sighing sound and pulled away from him, as much emotionally as physically.

So much for the smiles.

She sat now at the foot of the bed, fiddling with the camera again, as though not sure what else to do with her hands. "Never mind. Forget it."

"I'm not going to forget it, it's just-"

"I'm just not trustworthy on either side of this mess, am I?"

"I trust you," Kurt insisted, setting his hand on Julia's arm. "But I don't know about...about the others."

"Yeah well...guess it makes sense." Julia shrugged, though Kurt wasn't entirely convinced she was so aloof about the whole thing. He sat his chin on her shoulder, trying to watch her face, but she kept it turned away, hidden behind her hair. "I probably at least had the benefit of the doubt before I kicked Scott in the face, but I couldn't resist putting the last nail in my coffin I guess."

"You kicked Scott in the face?"

She gave a quick glance in his direction. "I guess he didn't feel like sharing that one? Yeah. Technically it was a knee, but still. Anyway, he tried to blow me out the door with his freaking eye-beams first, it was mostly self-defense." She shook her head and leaned her weight back against Kurt's chest. "I wish this had gone the other way around."

"Vhich part?"

"I wish the people I cared about were the ones fighting for what I feel is right. I guess...it's not that I think the Professor is wrong...just that he's too slow. The X-Men spend so much time trying to help humans and prove people with powers aren't dangerous that the mutants who need help get forgotten." Julia slid off the bed, her expression distant, as if lost in thought.

"Do you really think that? That they're forgotten?" Kurt questioned. He could understand having difficulty with the X-Men's philosophy, they had all had doubts at one point or another about whether what they were doing was even making a difference, but part of him was still having a hard time understanding how Julia thought brutally attacking -or killing, as he knew she had more than once- was a better solution. All it had done so far was force her deeper into hiding, force her to keep even further away from normal society than she had before. And make Kurt feel like he was talking to a total stranger who had stolen Julia's face and voice.

Physically, they were still very much in tune, on most other fronts however, seeing eye-to-eye had become virtually impossible.

"When was the last time the X-Men went out in full-force to save a mutant?" Julia countered, her back to him as she wiggled back into her jeans. "Do you think the Professor would let you kill a human if it meant saving a mutant's life? No. He would tell you to watch them die before he would dare risk harming a normal human, no matter what they do to deserve it."

"And vhat gives you the right to judge them?" Kurt demanded, getting -not for the first time- very frustrated with this whole situation. "You're not God Jyulia, you have no right to decide vhether their lives are the price they have to pay! It's not our place, ve are only human, the same as them." He didn't entirely realize that during his rant he had ended up standing naked in the middle of the room, though he didn't exactly care either. He was a little too on edge to feel particularly modest, least of all in front of Julia, who had seen him naked more times than he cared to count.

"I never said I was judging them." Julia fixed Kurt with a glance that was cold and sharp as steel. "God or whichever higher power they want to believe in can judge them, the same as me when my time comes. But in the meantime, I don't exactly see divine justice raining down from heaven."

"It's just not so simple Jyulia, and you know that."

She sighed and practically threw herself into the nearest chair unceremoniously. "What do you want me to say Kurt?" She questioned, glancing at him and then down at the floor. "Nothing I say will change what you think. You think what I do to the Purifiers is wrong, and I don't understand how you can stand there and preach at me when more and more mutants get hurt or killed every day they're allowed to keep up their hate crimes. So can we just drop it?"

"Nein. Ve can't. Not if you plan to continue burning people to death like dheir vitches!"

Julia's head snapped up, her expression caught somewhere between fury and horror. "Who told you about that?"

"Ve all know about it, does it matter?" Julia looked away again with a bitter expression, but said nothing. "Jyulia, being angry doesn't excuse being cruel. And being cruel is only going to make you de same as them. Is that vhat you vant?" Still, she was silent. Kurt had half a mind to reach over and shake her until she gave him and answer, but instead, he merely sought out his own pants in the pile of clothing left scattered on the floor.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was so quiet, he barely caught the utterance, even in the silence of the room. "I'm sorry I don't have the same kind of faith you do. That I can't see things the way you do. I'm sorry I let you down. But none of that, _none _of it, changes the fact that I still hate Purifiers. And it doesn't make me believe that they deserve anything less than what they do to their victims."

Unable to think of anything else to say, Kurt could only shake his head. "I'm sorry too," He said after a moment.

Julia was staring hard at her bare toes, and, after a moment, Kurt realized she was trying desperately to hold tears back. His first instinct was to reach out to her, try and comfort her, make the pain go away as he had tried so many times before, but he had yet to even take a step towards her when he felt the tingle of the Professor's telepathy in his temples.

_Kurt, we need you back at the mansion. Quickly please._

Kurt looked at Julia, who was now pulling shoes on, then at the floor. _I vill get back as soon as I can. _

There was a moment of silence before the Professor added on: _Are you with Julia? _

_ No. _He thought the lie without hesitation, and Kurt shut the mental doors to hide the untruth, sensing the Professor probing. Though there was little doubt in his mind the Professor would be able to tell it was a lie, the telepath chose not to make note of the fact.

_Very well. As I said, please don't dally. _

_ Ja. _

Kurt looked again towards Julia. "I...I have to go."

"I know. I felt the Professor's psi-scan; he can't see me, but I know when he's scanning."

"He probably knows vhen I'm lying."

"Probably," She agreed with an absentminded shrug. Inwardly, Kurt sighed. Not twenty minutes ago, things had felt almost totally normal between them. Now, suddenly, they were like strangers. Julia stood suddenly, running her hands through her hair, putting on a neutral expression. "Go. I'll take care of the check-out." She strolled towards the door as though he were, in fact, a total stranger.

"Jyulia-"

"What?" Her expression was still perfectly composed, though she was definitely avoiding making eye contact.

"I love you. Still. No matter vhat."

"And I love you. But that doesn't change the teams we're on." She met his gaze finally, and gave him a sad sort of smile. "I'll be in touch."

"Promise?"

"Yeah. Promise." She took a couple steps back in his direction and took his face in her hands, kissing him lightly. "Whatever the Professor is dragging you into, be careful, okay? Because if you get hurt, God help me, I will risk Cyclops' wrath to come and save your butt."

"I vill."

She smiled, this one looking a little more sincere, and let her hands slide away from his face as she walked towards the door again, this time vanishing through it before Kurt could come up with another reason to stall her.

* * *

><p>Eclipse was not entirely surprised to see Mystique lingering near the door of the apartments, no doubt to demand where she had been last night. She braced herself for a tirade as she opened the door, but much to her surprise, it never happened. Mystique simply eyed her unnervingly for a moment, before turning on her heel.<p>

"Follow me."

Caught off-guard by the almost polite instruction, Eclipse obeyed before she really thought about it, trailing the shape-shifter up the stairs, to what she assumed was Mystique's apartment/room, judging from the fact it locked, unlike most of the other doors in the building. Mystique pushed the door open and lead her inside.

"This is her," She said to a seemingly empty room, before Eclipse's eyes adjusted to the semi-dark, and she was able to pick out a person-like figured reclining in a cushiony chair by the window. Mystique flicked the overhead light on, and Eclipse was now able to see that it was indeed a person, a woman, dressed in loose-fitting black clothing, and who, if the milky blue of her eyes was any indication, appeared to be blind.

"What is this about?" Eclipse questioned, looking between Mystique and the blind woman.

"This is Destiny. She has some...news you may want to hear."

"News?"

"Regarding certain future events." Destiny spoke up for the first time.

"What?" Now utterly confused, Eclipse cast curious glances at the both of them, hoping someone would bother to give her a better explanation.

"Raven, may I speak to her alone?" Destiny looked in Mystique's direction as she spoke, and Julia had to wonder whether she was actually incapable of seeing, but was momentarily distracted by the fact that she had called her 'Raven' instead of Mystique. The red-head frowned, obviously not pleased with the fact Destiny had let the name slip, but rather than argue, simply nodded.

"Sure. I'll be downstairs."

Eclipse watched her go, utterly lost. Since when had Mystique ever been the least bit companionable?

"I know what you're thinking," Destiny said with a soft smile, "-and she's really not so bad. You just have to get past all the tough fronts she always has up."

"Uh...yeah. I'll take your word for it. So then, are you supposed to be a psychic?" She sat edgily in a chair facing Destiny, not completely certain what to expect from this odd meeting.

"Not quite. My mutant ability involves precognition. Visions of the future."

"And that's why you're here? You saw something...about me?"

"Yes." The other woman frowned, her eyes looking in Eclipse's general direction. "You are...involved with Raven's son, correct?"

Eclipse bit her lip, about to ask just how in the hell she knew about it, then remembered that Destiny, apparently, was able to see the future. It wasn't the strangest power she had ever heard of, to say the least, so she wasn't feeling particularly disbelieving either.

"And if I say yes?"

"I would advise you stop."

A tiny huff of sarcastic laughter escaped Eclipse. "I'm sure you would. Why exactly would you advise this?"

"The reason I'm here is to warn you that if you continue to see him, you and Kurt are likely to die."

"Wha-? Die? Seriously, did Mystique put you up to this?" Eclipse snorted, though she couldn't shake a little superstitious belief in Destiny's words. She seemed totally serious, too much so to be lying.

Destiny shook her head. "No, Raven had nothing to do with it. I came here of my own free will, to warn you."

"And you went through all this trouble to warn me why? You've never even met me before."

The older woman's lips curled in a thin smile. "No, I haven't. Truth be told, I'm not entirely sure I like you either." Eclipse scoffed quietly, but didn't say anything in response. "But I want Raven's son to be safe. As she does. Despite the impression she might give, she carries more guilt over abandoning that child than even she realizes. She may not be his mother in any sense other than the biological, but that is enough of a bond. When I told her of my visions, she asked me to repeat my warning to you. I think she was under the impression you wouldn't believe her."

Eclipse crossed her arms, looking thoughtfully at the precognitive mutant across from her. As convincing as Destiny may be, there were still a lot of ifs. It was plausible Mystique suspected she was still sneaking away to see Kurt, and was trying to prevent it from happening any longer. She was also distinctly skeptical of Mystique feeling anything maternal for Kurt, she just didn't see that option as being very believable. Especially considering, not all that long ago, she had threatened to kill him if she caught him on the grounds again.

"How does it happen?" She questioned, leaning back in her own chair. "How do we die?"

"Violently," Was all Destiny said for a long moment. When Eclipse didn't reply, expecting details, she sighed and continued: "The vision was quick, just a flash. I saw you fighting, and I saw you fall. Kurt tries to help you, but when he knows he's lost you...Kurt dies later. Much later. I can only imagine what they do to him..."

"Who's they?"

"Purifiers. Or MRD. I'm not entirely sure. The vision's focus was on you. Not them."

Eclipse hauled in a breath, her hands folded, tightly enough that her knuckles were turning a little pale. "How accurate are your visions?"

"To the letter, if nothing is done to change them."

"So it's not written in stone?"

"No, thankfully. I see_ a _future, one of many plausible futures. Not _the _future. That's very difficult, if not impossible to predict. And I fear this particular future will come about if you and Kurt continue to see one another."

"And you think that the only way to prevent your vision from happening is never see him again?"

"I think it's the only way to be certain." Destiny said solemnly.

"Okay. Right." Eclipse rubbed a hand over her eyes, trying to determine how she felt about this. So Destiny could predict the future. She had said herself it was no guarantee that it would end up being the truth. Still, could she risk it? There was not the slightest doubt in Eclipse's mind that she and Kurt were liable to get in trouble sooner or later for their little affair, if only because the Professor would only ignore it for so long, or because Mystique would catch them; and Heaven only knew what she would do to them. But what was she supposed to do? Drop off the face of the planet and never tell him why? She knew Kurt would probably come looking for her, so even that wasn't truly a solution. She had been nurturing the feeling that her particular fight would probably end in death sooner or later -she could only play cat-and-mouse with the MRD for so long before they caught her- and she didn't honestly think they would let her live too long. But she was not, absolutely not, willing to let Kurt get dragged into it. She couldn't let him get hurt, or die, for her personal vendetta. But saying goodbye would be so, so incredibly hard. She didn't even know if she would be able to.

"So, that's it then. That's the only advice you can give me?" Eclipse questioned, looking up at Destiny, though she didn't imagine the other woman would know.

"As I said, it's the only thing I can say for certain will change what I saw. If you're not together, it can't very well happen." Destiny rose from her chair, moving so gracefully around the furniture that Eclipse was beginning to doubt she was actually incapable of seeing. "I won't ask you to do this for Raven," She added, pausing at the door, "-but I will ask you to do it for Kurt's sake, if not you're own. He's the child of my dearest friend, and I would never forgive you for letting him die."

Had Eclipse been feeling a little snarkier, she might have made a sarcastic remark relating to the statement that Mystique had friends, but, as it was, she didn't feel the least bit snarky. She merely felt depressed.

Sighing, Eclipse dropped her head into her hands, her fingers lacing through her hair, listening to Destiny's retreating footsteps down the stairs.

_What to do, what to do..._

After a few moments of being unable to come to a definitive solution, she rose from her chair, tracing Destiny's steps out the door. Mystique was waiting to pounce on her yet again.

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I...I don't know." Eclipse shook her head. "But I won't let him get hurt because of me."

"Good. Go to bed. We're going to the hospital tomorrow."

"What? But-" Mystique silenced her with a venomous look. And here, Eclipse had been starting to think that maybe Mystique wasn't so bad after all. "Alright. Fine. Have it your way." Eclipse strode past her, returning to her room. If they were going after the doctor tomorrow, than the X-Men were liable to show up, and that would mean Kurt was with them.

The question was, what would she do then?


	23. Chapter 23

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Well, so, first things first. One, I have really bad Writer's Block right now. I'm not really sure what I want to do next, don't really have an idea either. I will be brainstorming the next few days, and I will try to do it as quickly as possible. But, no guarantees. :) Second, I've officially decided to label Eclipse's matter-displacement as 'warping'. Kitty has got phasing, and Kurt has got teleporting or 'jaunting' and I thought Eclipse's power could use it's own verb. So that's not a typo, it was intentional. :) Third, I want to thank Bad Luck Cat for drawing me my first Fanart. It's my profile pic, so please take a gander at it. It's quite adorable and I think she captured Julia's general attitude quite well. I think having Fanart drawn for me might on of the best compliments my writing has ever received. Other than all that, it's pretty much all the same. :) _

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 23<strong>

Eclipse decided, very quickly, that she was exceedingly thankful her mutation wasn't precognition. She hadn't even had to actually see Destiny's vision, but dwelling on it had been enough to drive her to nightmares. She could not even _begin_ to imagine how Destiny managed to cope with seeing the future.

The sun was peeking through the window, but she hadn't slept much -if at all- her mind far too occupied to feel tired. What if she got Kurt killed? What if by trying to avoid him she ended up bringing the vision to fruition? What if-

There were so many of those little "what ifs" she could scarcely form and entire thought without one of them popping into her head.

She was rolling the pearl necklace between her fingers, hoping it would bring her some sort of luck or inspiration, but so far, all it had done was prevent her from twisting her hair the way she normally would have.

Truth be told, Eclipse was also not entirely convinced her actions, regardless of what she decided to do, would even have an effect on this supposed future. She hadn't really been raised to believe she was the center of the universe, quite the opposite in fact, and so she wasn't exactly prone to thinking her own, personal behavior would change the plan of whatever form of higher power was out there. If that particular prediction was what was truly meant to happen, perhaps it would no matter what she chose to do. But even then, it wasn't like she was just going lie down and die, that wasn't in her nature. She was beginning to wish Destiny never told her in the first place; then, if and when she and Kurt had ended up dying, she wouldn't feel like it was a some failure of hers. Then, it would have just been fate. Now, however...if she couldn't prevent it...

Quicksilver appeared in the doorway, Eclipse turning her head to give him a questioning look.

"It's time."

"Can I ask you something first Quicksilver?"

"Uh...sure."

"If someone told you your sister or your father was going to die, what would you do?"

"Why?" He narrowed his eyes at her, to which Eclipse responded with a roll of her own. Quicksilver was, it often seemed to her, a little too suspicious for his own good.

"It's just a question, never mind." Eclipse hefted herself out of the chair she had spent a good portion of the night in, setting aside the copy of _The Moonstone_, one of her favorite books, which had been sitting on her lap. Once before the book would have lulled her right to sleep, the familiar story relaxing her. Last night she hadn't been able to concentrate well enough to really process the story and had ended up spending most of the night simply staring at the pages.

"I saw Destiny leaving this morning," Quicksilver stated, appearing directly in front of her quick as lightning. "Did she tell you something I should know?"

"Why would she tell me anything you needed to know?" Quicksilver pondered this for a split-second, then frowned at her.

"Then why the question?"

"No real reason. I just don't think I like where this little terrorist act of ours is going." Eclipse tried to step around Quicksilver, but he circled her before she could even blink. That was really starting to get on her nerves.

"Are you backing out?" He demanded, leaning closer to her face than was necessary.

"No. Not yet. It's just...depending on how things go, I may have to deal with some personal issues I don't think I'm entirely prepared for." An unbidden vision of Kurt being shot again -only this time fatally- rose in Eclipse's mind, though she tried to push it away. "That said," She continued, hoping a subject change would distract her, "-I don't think I'm of the same mind as the rest of you. I don't really think a doctor who tries to help fourteen year-old kids blend in with their classmates can really be considered a threat to mutant-kind."

"He's taking away what makes them superior!"

"Only because they want him to," Eclipse snapped back, on the verge of hitting Quicksilver if he got much closer to her face. "He doesn't force any of his patients, we found consent forms with every single one of his medical records."

"That doesn't mean they weren't coerced. Getting bullied just because you look different? That's such a ridiculously antiquated way of judging people it's laughable! What kind of society do we have to live in to force kids -children- to have plastic surgery so they aren't picked on? How can you _not _want to hurt this guy?"

"I...I just-"

Quicksilver interrupted her with an impatient wave of his hand. "Or maybe you're thinking your blue boyfriend could use some cosmetic surgery? Is that it? Tail not quite up your alley anymore?"

Eclipse's body shifted forms, faster than she had ever imagined possible before, her fist lashing out at Quicksilver's face; her hand crackling with black energy that would likely cause instant brain damage in a normal human. Quicksilver however was not a normal human, and just so happened to possess super-speed; he was across the room before her arm had even made a full swing. She glowered at him, absolutely seething with rage.

"You bastard." Her voice was little more than a growl in her throat. "How dare you. How dare you even suggest that. Leave Kurt out of this goddamn mess!"

"See?" Quicksilver made another impatient gesture, as though she had just proved his point. "You get all uptight if someone suggests _he_ changes. Why are you okay with society forcing all these other kids to change?"

Her lips pulled down in a frown, realizing that it was actually a valid point. Not that she wanted to admit it aloud to Quicksilver of course. Not to mention she was still completely pissed off and was horribly tempted to smash Quicksilver's face in. She forced herself to relax, just enough to unclench her hands, and haul in a breath.

"But it doesn't justify murdering him. It doesn't justify stringing him for everyone to see. He's only trying to help, Quicksilver. Maybe he's not going about it the right way, but we can't just...I dunno, talk to him or something?"

"Talking doesn't get anything done. You should know that. You worked with the X-Men, all they do is talk."

"Well, then blackmail him or something. Don't kill him for trying to help, he just doesn't understand!"

"And if we can't make him understand, what then?"

"I...I don't know, okay? I just don't think this is right. And I don't want to go along with it, at all."

"So you are backing out," Quicksilver accused in a sneer.

Eclipse crossed her arms. "I'm not killing anyone today. This is different. This isn't like fighting Purifiers, you can't pretend like it's the same thing. And don't think I'm afraid to pick a fight with you, or anyone else in the Brotherhood if you start murdering innocent people."

Quicksilver made another sneer, though he said nothing, and vanished down the hall fast enough that the single poster Eclipse had tacked up on her wall was pulled down to the floor. No doubt he was reporting her to Mystique, the little tattletale. Or perhaps he was going straight to the top and making a phone call to his father. She wondered for a moment what she would say to Magneto, but then decided it likely didn't matter. If Magneto thought she was going to become a liability, he would remove her. What exactly that would entail, she could only guess, but she didn't imagine it would be very pleasant on her end.

But now, there were other things to consider. She didn't know whether Kurt was going to manage to talk the X-Men into showing up. If not, she couldn't very well stand by and let the Brotherhood kill a doctor who was only trying to help. Yes, he was going about it the wrong way, but that didn't change the fact that he was trying. Come to think of it though, if Destiny's prophecy was true, she would prefer they didn't, seeing as when she and Kurt were together, there was a possibility it would happen.

Could she stop the Brotherhood on her own? Very, very unlikely. Sabertooth's healing factor alone would probably counter her own abilities, and, as she had just learned, she certainly couldn't catch Quicksilver. She was only one, and she had limits.

But she could slow them down. And maybe she could slow them down long enough for someone else to arrive and actually stop them.

Eclipse started down the hall at a sprint; the Doctor's clinic was in Los Angeles, which meant Blink would be teleporting them. She had to get there as soon as possible, preferably before anyone else went through.

As she suspected, when she practically screeched around the hall corner into the main common room, a swirling pink portal greeted her, and Mystique was about to step through. Eclipse put on a burst of speed, warping her way across the floor, and struck out with with a fist, catching Mystique squarely in the back of the head, which was extremely satisfying. It was likely only going to stun her, as Eclipse's energy was more concentrated on propelling her semi-solid body forward at the moment, but it would have to do. Barely slowing down, Eclipse bolted through the open portal, and as soon as she emerged in a sunlit courtyard on the other side, she whipped around and slashed claws through the swirling energy, tearing through the dimensional portal like paper; and said a quick thanks that Blink's teleportation used the energy-based portals in the first place.

It was only going to buy her a few seconds, it would scarcely take Blink that long to recreate a portal, but it would have to do. She ran for the nearest doors, people literally diving to get out of her way. His office was on the fourth floor, she knew that much from listening to Mystique, which was approximately four displacements, and so she cranked out a burst of energy and warped as far up as she could go.

Landing in the nurses station, Eclipse suddenly realized she didn't know the exact location of the doctor's office, and turned to the nearest doe-eyed and terrified nurse. "Doctor Richardson. Where's his office?"

"I- I uh-"

"I'm not here to kill him. I promise. But some really nasty people are about to try."

"Uh...end of the hall. Through the left double doors."

"Thanks. And I suggest you start getting people out of here." She headed in the direction the nurse had pointed her in, but before she could even reach a hand for the doors, she was taken off her feet by a clothesline blow across her chest at high-speed, Quicksilver dragging her nearly back to the end of the hall, before slamming her into the wall. At the speed he had been going, there was enough momentum to put an indent in the plaster, though Eclipse's energy body saved her from taking too much damage.

She may not be intangible, and she wasn't invulnerable, but she was still pretty damn hard to hurt. And Quicksilver had made one important mistake. She wasn't able to catch him if he was trying to evade her, but he had needed to get close in order to hit her, which had given her the opportunity to grab a fistful of the front of his suit. She braced her feet on the wall behind her and pushed, shoving Quicksilver to the floor, and pinned him with her full weight.

"Eclipse, don't make this wors-" She cut off his protest with a swipe of her claws. Quicksilver struggled for a second, his super-speed applied to most things in his body and it took more to overpower his super-high metabolism than she had originally thought.

It was only going be a temporary coma, a few hours at most; she wasn't really into the idea of actually trying to hurt him. That said, if Magneto or Scarlet Witch found out about the fact she had attacked him in the first place, she was probably in for a world of hurt.

There was no going back now. She was officially on the outs with the Brotherhood, and with the X-Men. She was on her own now.

She pulled Quicksilver into a room by his arms, where he would be out of the way if people started panicking, and took off again in the direction of Richardson's office. The doctor was in his desk chair, looking a bit traumatized, no doubt having heard the ruckus from Quicksilver's attack on her.

Without preamble, Eclipse grabbed him by the arm, hauling him out of his chair. "You need to go. Now."

"He's not going anywhere," A livid Mystique appeared in the doorway, gun raised. She looked a little frazzled, no doubt from when Eclipse had hit her, but she was certainly more irritated than hurt. Eclipse halted, holding Richardson so that he was behind her.

"This is wrong Mystique. He isn't trying to hurt anyone, he's trying to help!" Mystique answered her with a snarl.

"I should have known. You're no better than the rest of them. A pushover, just like the rest of Xavier's little brats. It's no wonder humans never take us seriously!"

"I don't think they'll take you any more seriously if you go around killing people who try to help mutants. Purifiers are one thing, but this is taking it too far! They'll never leave us in peace if we attack innocent people!"

"And what makes you so sure he's innocent? How many of these kids do you think he's _forced_ into the surgeries? Huh?"

"I don't know! But killing this man isn't going to help anything!"

"Why don't we just test that and see?" Mystique gave a nasty smirk, and the next thing Eclipse knew, she was throwing herself at Doctor Richardson and knocking them both to the ground; and had cut it damn close. Mystique's bullet had lodged itself in her shoulder, though it was lucky it was hers. The Doctor was sputtering, demanding who they were, but Eclipse ignored him and stood, yanking him to his feet.

"Run!" She shouted, shoving him through the door, turning on her heel and grabbing the gun by its barrel, attempting to wrench it from Mystique's grasp before she could take another shot at him. The shape-shifter responded by hitting her, hard, directly in the face, knocking Eclipse back a step as she lost her grip on the gun. A second shot rang out, just grazing her cheek.

"No!" But she was too late this time, and the stunned Doctor who had barely made it to the hallway fell dead. "No, damnit!"

"Stupid girl. What? Did you think saving him would make up for killing all those other humans?"

"I didn't want to make up for anything!" Eclipse shouted, her hands curling into fists. "I just didn't want any innocent people to die! He didn't deserve that!"

"I have to agree with the lady on this one." A new voice spoke, and suddenly Mystique was out the window in a flurry of...wings?

The wings settled long enough for a tall, blonde man to land on his feet before her, clad in a uniform not entirely unlike the one she had once worn. It took her a moment to find words; the wings were probably the most stunning mutation she had ever seen. They were beautiful.

"Whoa...didn't realize I had a guardian angel."

"Angel's just the codename. You can call me Warren." He cast her a rather debonair smile.

"And you're..."

"Filling in for your lover-boy until he's no longer grounded."

"Kurt's...not here?"

"Nope. Conflict of interest and all that. You'll have to make do with me."

"Thank God." The relief was enough to nearly bring Eclipse to her knees. If Kurt wasn't here, he couldn't be killed. Angel was watching her closely, and it was only then that she realized the X-Men were probably still looking to take her in. She couldn't very well let that happen now; not with Destiny's words of warning lingering in the back of her mind. She edged toward the door, the winged X-Man still watching her every move. He didn't know her abilities as well as the others did, no doubt he was hesitant to take her head on. All the more reason to leave while she could. "Listen, thanks for the back-up. And I'm glad you're here to help. But I really have to-"

For what felt like the millionth time that day, Eclipse was taken by surprise; this time by a clawed hand closing around her throat and attempting to strangle her. Sabertooth. Unfortunately for him, she had never had much use for breathing in her energy form, she didn't even have lungs. She warped out of his grip, heading for the opposite side of the room, and found the Doctor's desk flying at her, it collided with her before she even had a chance to get fully on her feet.

* * *

><p>Angel didn't like confined spaces. When you had a twelve-foot wingspan, they were a little difficult to maneuver in, and Sabertooth looked to be on the verge of a berserker rage. It was mostly aimed at the Eclipse girl, but since she was currently buried under the rubble of a desk, Sabertooth seemed to think Angel would make a just as decent victim.<p>

Truthfully, he liked his chances of getting back out the window better than he did fighting the monster of a mutant, but he also didn't like the idea of leaving Eclipse behind either. Not to mention Kurt would probably give him hell for it later if he did. He hovered for a moment, uncertain of what to do.

Sabertooth charged, and Angel's wings beat the air fiercely, moving backwards, though he could scarcely get any lift in the tiny office; not to mention if he went too much higher, his head would hit the ceiling.

His problem was solved by a bolt of lightning shooting through the window, the heat nearly singeing his feathers. Sabertooth howled in pain, but even as Storm sent another bolt of lightning arcing through the window, his skin was beginning to heal, and he was still coming at Angel full speed.

Another yell was heard, this one more in anger than anything else, and suddenly Eclipse appeared between Angel and Sabertooth in a streak of ebony energy, digging two sets of clawed fingers into his head, one on either side.

Sabertooth yowled, tearing at her with clawed hands, but Eclipse clung on like a tenacious burr, her feet braced in the carpet so he couldn't send her flying, and didn't seem to be feeling his claws raking across her skin. Then again, she didn't seem to actually have skin, her outfit was taking most of the damage.

Eclipse yelled again, this time sounding more like she was in pain, and her body was beginning to flicker erratically, parts of her seeming to shift rapidly between solid and ethereal. A halo of space around her was starting to warp, as though she was putting out massive amounts of heat, though, if the dossier Xavier had provided him was accurate, Angel would guess it was actually the opposite. Eclipse was pushing her powers hard enough that she was creating a power vacuum around her body, drawing in heat and light energy around her in an attempt to power her attack on Sabertooth, which seemed to be doing little more than making him angry.

"Storm! Throw me some more lightning!" Her voice was ragged sounding, and nearly drowned by Sabertooth's own yelling.

Storm, still hovering just outside the window, seemed hesitant. "Julia-"

"Just do it!"

The lightning bolt hit Eclipse directly in the center of her back, but was quickly absorbed and assimilated, Eclipse's body solidified again instantaneously, and with another furious yell, she gave off a violent flash of negative energy that Angel could feel halfway across the room. Sabertooth went down, and so did Eclipse, folding at the knee and waist beside Saberooth's prone form, catching herself on her arms, and her body back to its flickering, half-formed state.

"Julia, are you alright?" Storm floated in through the window on a gentle breeze, landing beside her.

"Yeah...It just...it took a lot to compensate for his healing factor. More than I had. Your lightning gave me enough of a boost to overpower it, but it won't be for long. He'll probably be waking up again in a few minutes."

"You helped us. Why?" Storm didn't sound suspicious, merely curious.

Eclipse shook her head, letting out a bitter sounding laugh. "Let's just say it didn't work out with them much better than it did with you guys."

"You know that Charles would expect us to...to bring you in." Storm spoke carefully, though Angel didn't get the impression it was because she was scared of Eclipse, but merely because she was trying to be sensitive to the other woman's feelings.

"Yeah. I know." Her voice drifted off as though she was thinking of something else. "Maybe it would be...safer...if you did."

"What do you mean safer?" Angel questioned, finding the word odd to the circumstance. Storm appeared keenly interested in Eclipse's answer as well.

"It's...it's about Kurt-"

Sirens screamed, not far from the hospital parking lot, and all three mutants knew instantly that they weren't police sirens. MRD. They always showed up at the absolute most inconvenient time. Eclipse looked at Storm and Angel, before bracing a hand on her knee and forcing herself back up to her feet.

"I can buy you guys a few minutes. I suggest you leave before they can pin this mess on the X-Men." Storm stepped forward to argue, but Eclipse appeared not to notice. "They already want me; let them blame it on me or the Brotherhood, it doesn't matter. But you guys only showed up to try and help, you don't need the bad publicity. Besides, you have to turn me in sooner or later anyway, and I'd rather it be on my terms. At least this way a little good can come out of it."

"Are you sure Julia? If you're arrested-"

"I'm sure. I knew this was coming sooner or later, don't worry about it. Just...uhm...can you tell Kurt goodbye for me? And that...that I love him?"

"Of course." Storm nodded, while Angel just looked on. He couldn't say he knew Eclipse very well at all, so he figured he would be best off just staying out of it. "And...thank you for doing this Julia. You are right after all, we hardly need any more bad publicity." A ghost of a sad smile flashed across Storm's lovely lips, echoed by Eclipse.

"Yeah. Hurry, before I decide this is a bad idea. What did you do with Mystique?" She added in Angel's direction.

"I just set her down in a nice tree in the courtyard." He shrugged, ruffling his wings.

"Alright. I'm sure she and the Brotherhood can take care of themselves anyway. So...I guess maybe I'll see you guys around sometime. Or at least on TV." The ghostly smile passed over her face again, and she started off towards the main entrance, her pace slow, but with definite purpose.

Angel couldn't help but think he probably would have liked her if they had been X-Men together.

* * *

><p>Eclipse's progress down the stairs was painstakingly slow. Holding the ions of her body together was taking nearly all the willpower she had left. Even after Storm's lightning, her energy reserves were dangerously low from her little stunt on Sabertooth. At least he didn't have an adamantium skeleton; as she had learned in sparring with Wolverine, her energy was nearly nullified by the strange metal, making the fact she had such a hard time dealing with the healing factor a moot point. Still, with how much of her energy she had needed to expend; she felt like she was about ready to fall apart.<p>

But for now, it was time to put on a show. She had to keep it together, keep the MRD distracted. Just a little longer, just until the X-Men were home free. Though she may not see eye-to-eye with them on the human/mutant policies, they were still more her friends than the Brotherhood had been. She would at least give them the escape.

She marched out of the hospital doors, meeting the MRD with her head held high and her back straight, likely looking more fearless than she actually felt. One of them had a megaphone, no doubt to attempt to negotiate with what they assumed was a terrorist.

Her trek was still slow, her legs feeling as though they may give out at any second, and when she didn't stop, they trained their guns on her.

"Stop, now!" The one with the megaphone had given up negotiating, and was now simply shouting at her. "We're not here to kill, we only want a peaceful solution. Please surrender!"

"Hate to say it, but that's not really going to be a viable option." Behind the hospital, Eclipse could hear the steady, muted rumble of the Blackbird's engines; they'd be moving under stealth, but if the MRD heard the engines or could catch a glimmer of the jet under its cloaking, they would likely have Air Force on their tail the whole way back to New York, so she did what she figured would be the best distraction. She started a fight.

Using what was probably the last of the energy she could spare without reverting to human form, Eclipse warped to the nearest MRD officer, taking him down with a knee to the gut. As expected, they began to swarm, bullets raining down on her like so many hail stones, only managing to sting for a second or two before falling from her skin with faint clatters, her clothes taking more damage than her energy body.

She tore through them, only kicks and punches, not having the power to spare for her claws, but even that was taking a quick, heavy toll on her. Numbness was spreading from her arms and legs, up her spine. Her powers were fading, she was pushing past her limit. She either had to switch back to her normal state, or...or let herself fade away.

That was probably the easier option. She could just let her will go, fade out into a million little negatively ionized particles. Surely that would prevent Destiny's vision from ever coming true, if she didn't exist, or at least, wasn't whole, Kurt would never be in danger, he would never be close to her.

She tested her mettle, stopped trying to maintain her form, just for a moment; she let herself go just for a moment. And felt the sickening sensation of nothingness sweep over her. She couldn't do it, she wasn't brave enough. Even to protect Kurt, she was too terrified of not existing to let herself go completely. Hopefully being locked away by the MRD, clear across the country, would be good enough. The vision couldn't very well happen if the MRD had her before Kurt was even aware of it.

Eclipse's knees hit the ground, her legs just too damn tired to hold her up any longer, and the officers surrounding her kept their distance, unsure of her actions. Her energy form faded out, exhaustion wiping over her like a heavy blanket, Eclipse had to catch herself on her arms to avoid falling onto her face. The only regret she had was that she hadn't gotten to see Kurt again. But he would be safe, and that was enough for her.

No sooner had this thought passed through her tired mind, and she felt the first pair of arresting hands grab onto her, then she heard a very, very familiar sound at her back, the MRD backing away rapidly, and arms that she knew right away wrapped around her, the three-fingered hand flattening on her shoulder a dead giveaway.

Before she could protest, before she could so much as breathe, she was gone from the parking lot, hidden away in some dark nook on the roof, Kurt's arms holding her tight against his chest. She felt the ground beneath her feet vanish again, but her world was fading to gray, and was black before she knew where they were going.

* * *

><p>Julia's eyes snapped open to find herself in more or less the same position as when she had passed out; though the scenery was very different. She was wrapped up in Kurt's arms, her head resting heavily on his shoulder and her body felt numb, but, rather than the parking lot, she was now in what seemed to be hotel room, Kurt sitting on the bed with her mostly in his lap.<p>

"How...did you get here?" Her words were sluggish, a little slurred, but they seemed coherent for Kurt jolted as though out of a doze.

"_Gott sei Dank!_" He murmured, pressing a kiss on her temple. "I didn't know vhether you vere going to vake or not..."

"How did you get here?" She repeated, her voice a little stronger this time.

"De Blackbird. I knew vhen the Professor told me to stay back they were going to find you. I didn't vant... It's not very hard to avoid being seen vhen you can valk on valls and disappear in shadow."

"You shouldn't be here." Her hand struggled it's way to his shoulder, giving a feeble attempt at pushing him away, but it scarcely seemed she had the strength of a newborn. "Kurt please, you've got to go away."

"Vhy? Jyulia, vhat's going on? And vhy vere you out there alone? Vhere is the Brotherhood?" At her persistent pushing, Kurt finally let her go, but kept his hand on her back, still -for the most part- holding her upright.

"I was trying to buy the X-Men time to get away. And I was trying to keep you from getting killed."

"Killed? Vhat?" Kurt's eyes widened in confusion.

"Destiny. She said you were going to die." Tears were pricking at the corners of her eyes, though she didn't know whether it was because she was that frustrated or because she was simply so tired crying was all she had the energy left to do. "And so I was trying to go away but here you are and it doesn't even matter anyway!"

For a long moment of silence, Kurt only looked at her, the hand not supporting her weight reached to her face, wiping at tears that were making their escape down her cheeks. "I'm not going to die _liebling._"

"But if Destiny is right then you being here right now-"

"Vhat does me being here have to do vith it?"

"She said we were going to die together. And I thought maybe if the MRD put me away somewhere that would just solve the problem."

"Destiny isn't alvays right _mein lieb,_ she varned you, that means it's possible to change it."

"That's what I was trying to do! But you just had to be debonair hero and come rescue me, didn't you?"

His lips quirked, and he shrugged in a bravado manner. "Vell, you should know I'll never be able to pass up a beautiful damsel in distress."

"Kurt, that's not the point! I don't want to be the reason you end up getting killed, I don't want you to get killed at all!"

"Und I'm not exactly helpless. You don't have to do everything yourself Jyulia. Ve'll figure out vhat ve're going to do. The both of us."

"Kurt-" He shook his head to her protest.

"The both of us," He repeated. "Ve'll figure it out together."

"And what about the X-Men, and...and everything else? What happens to the X-Men when you run around helping a wanted criminal?"

Kurt's gaze drifted away, telling her that he hadn't thought that far ahead. Some part of her was almost tempted to smile. How like his swashbuckling heroes he was sometimes, abandoning good sense for some romantic flair.

"You're more important to me," He finally answered, "-they can cut ties vith me if that's vhat they think is best. But I von't leave you to try and fix this all by yourself."

Julia swiped her hands under her eyes, pulling away what few tears remained. "Well, I don't think it's what's best. You're good at what you do Kurt, you're good at being a hero. Don't throw it away."

"It's not your decision Jyulia." Kurt said gently, but firmly enough that Julia didn't think she would be winning the argument with him. She also wouldn't put it past him to simply follow her.

But Destiny's vision...how could she just ignore that? And even if that didn't work out entirely as the woman had said, that didn't mean Kurt wasn't getting himself into a bad situation; the MRD was probably even more dead-set on catching her than they had been before -seeing as they had gotten so close- and now they had seen him, and probably thought he was as much a part of it as she was. And it wasn't like she could just go turn herself in and tell them he wasn't, they would never believe her, they probably wouldn't even give her enough time to speak.

"Kurt, please, don't do this. Please just go back to New York. I don't want you to get hurt."

"No more than I vant you to. Jyulia, listen," His hands framed her face gently, making certain she was looking at him, "-if Destiny said ve'll both die, then ve're in this together. Did she ever say being together is vhat vill cause it?"

"Er...no, I guess...not explicitly. She just said that not seeing you would be the best way to prevent it."

"Dhen there isn't a guarantee that my being here is going make the vision come true. Besides all that, I've been here vith you all day, und I haven't died. I think the best vay to prevent either of us from dying is to vatch each other's backs, ja?"

"There's more to worry about than just the vision. Do you seriously thing the MRD won't come after you too?"

"I knew vhat I vas doing. And I don't regret the decision. Trust me _mein lieb_, ve can change it. Destiny can't know everything, that's something only God can do."

Julia's head drooped, her eyes drifting closed tiredly, knowing she was just arguing in circles. Kurt would do what he thought was right no matter what, and what he thought was right was apparently to stay with her. And she also knew as soon as he brought God into his side of the discussion, he wasn't very well going to back down from the point.

Her eyes closed, she gave the tiniest nod of consent, though, as far as she was concerned, this debate was far from over. Kurt made a valid point in the fact that Destiny hadn't told Julia the exact events leading up to her vision, but she had been clear enough in the fact that they were at least in close proximity with one another. She wasn't going to let Kurt die. Especially not because of her.

She was going to have to leave him again, and this time, she was going to have to find somewhere he couldn't find her again. Still...did that mean she couldn't try to enjoy what little time she could glean with him? So long as she watch him very, very closely and keep him safe, she didn't see why she couldn't let herself enjoy being with him for what little time they could spare.

"First things first _liebling_, ve need to find you some decent clothes."

"Clothes...?" For the first time since she had woken up, Julia looked down at herself, and discovered that -between the fight with Sabertooth and the MRD- her clothes were little more than a few tenacious scraps of fabric clinging to her. And that her top half was almost entirely naked; there was obviously no going anywhere in public in her current get-up. "Yes, I think clothes might be wise." Julia smiled, feeling, for the first time in the last several days, like things were going to be okay. Kurt had that effect on her life.

It was a pity she couldn't let it last too much longer.


	24. Chapter 24

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Well, well, much to discuss. A: I have ruminated and solved my writer's block. I've pretty much planned out the rest of the story. Huzzah, good news. :) B: Perhaps more good news, I think I may write sequel. There's still a lot I want to do with Kurt and Julia which simply doesn't fit in this story unless I start pushing 60-70 chapters or something. Plus, most of my newer ideas wouldn't really fit in with the general tone of this story. Anyway, I think I'll wait until I get some feedback on that plan of mine, as I don't really want to post it if everyone is sick of Julia by the time I finish this. We'll see. C: You may have noticed I changed the cover of this story. With another semi-crappy drawing of my own. I did this because there was a guy who was supposed to make me a comic cover to go with this story, but he sorta...copped out on me, but I was stuck on it having it's own image, so I doodled one. As to Julia's little pose, this is because I have always had this image in my head of her like, ballet-dancing as she warps around opponents. I suppose it's because I think she's a little on the cocky side sometimes, and probably would just to show off to people who couldn't keep up with her warping. D: I feel like I envisioned this chapter as being much more...dynamic than it really is. I feel like in my head there were explosions, or at least, a more tense chase scene. But as I started writing it, it started to feel drawn-out and unrealistic, so I kept parring it down and ended up with this. Which seems a little boring to me, but...well, it's how it worked out I suppose. I feel like there was at least some more sexy Kurt and Julia in it when I was planning it. Hm. E: The Gamma-Beta-Alpha junk is something I found after googling "Mutant Ranking System". On Gaia of all places. It was the ninth option on my search, if you care to have a look at it. I think it has to do with an X-Men guild. (I'm not a Gaia person, but it sounded legit, so.)_

_Anyway, long-winded author's note aside, please have at the story. :) _

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 24<strong>

Julia had done little besides sleep, not that he could blame her. Kurt couldn't remember the last time he had seen her look so exhausted. He was perched on the end of the bed, watching over her, hoping that if she was dreaming they were pleasant; hoping they were at least better than the situation they found themselves in.

It was not an easy one to get out of, that was certain. Destiny's visions had always proved to be accurate, down to the last detail in many cases, but was it impossible to prevent the entire situation from occurring? And, better yet, saying it was possible, could he convince Julia? His concern at the moment looked more towards that then the risk to his own neck. If she had been able to get her feet under her, there was no doubt in Kurt's mind she would have headed for the hills, believing she was doing the right thing, and hoping to prevent this vision from coming true and keeping him out of trouble with the MRD.

Luckily, he had managed to convince her rest was in order, and after making sure she was really asleep and wouldn't disappear on him again, he had gone to scavenge up some clothes to replace the tattered remains of her costume. But now he sat here, simply watching her, simply thinking. How could he fix this so that no one else had to die? Least of all Julia or himself?

She stirred in her sleep, taking Kurt's attention away from his thoughts. Sleepy steel eyes glanced in his direction, blinking slowly. "Kurt?"

"Still here," He answered quietly. "Und still alive you'll notice."

In response, Julia held an arm out to him. Kurt circled around the bed, unsure of what exactly she wanted. Her hand clasped his tightly, as though she was afraid he wouldn't be solid. "I always wake up thinking you're going to be here. This is the first time you actually are."

"And I von't be leaving anytime soon. How do you feel?" His free hand brushed her hair back gently. Even a short nap of thirty minutes managed to make a bed-head out of her dark tresses. He had always been fond of her hair when it was like that, always thinking it made her look natural, relaxed.

"Better." Julia's hand squeezed his a little stronger, giving a small tug, to which Kurt complied and sat on the edge of the bed. "I don't think I've ever pushed myself that far," She continued, her thumb drawing little patterns in the fur on the back of his hand, "-suppose it's good to have a better idea of my limits."

Kurt leaned over her and kissed her forehead lightly, her hand relinquishing his only so her arms could wrap around his neck instead. "Just don't do it again. You had me really vorried Jyulia," He cautioned, to which she gave a shrug.

"It was spur of the moment."

"Most of your bad ideas are." He hadn't meant the statement to have any malicious intent, but at the small, self-conscious frown that passed over Julia's face, he realized it probably hadn't been an appropriate answer given the situation. In fact, it had probably sounded rather callous on his part. While he didn't think Julia's actions as of late were necessarily good, he also didn't want to put himself on a pedestal to judge her. Her methods may be different than his own, but she had still only been trying to help other mutants, her intentions had still been noble and to protect others.

"Do you think I'm a bad person?" She asked, looking at his chest as opposed to his face. "Do you think I'm just being a hypocrite? Tell me honestly."

"I don't know _liebling, _andI don't know how your actions vill effect vhat happens now. But like you told me, you can't take it back."

"No, I can't. So, the question now is, assuming you still want to try and stick with me through this, what we do now." She met his gaze again, contemplative. Kurt folded his arms, resting his weight on his elbows rather than his hands on either side of her torso, and ended up lying partially over-top of Julia, who didn't seem to mind in the least. Nor did she seem at all willing to remove her arms from around his neck. "From what Destiny told me about the vision, it sounded like either the MRD or Purifiers are a major part of it, so, maybe if we can get away from them..." The expression on Julia's face seemed to indicate that she hadn't thought of that before. Had she been so dead-set on running away from him to protect him that she hadn't yet explored other options? Kurt honestly wouldn't doubt it.

"Ja, that could vork. Though I don't know vhere ve could go." As far as he knew, the Purifiers had ranks everywhere, though the MRD was, so far, strictly an American organization. Which, consequently, gave him an idea. "Jyulia...vhat do you think about...about meeting my family back in Germany?"

"What? Your family?" Her expression was somewhere between aghast and confused. Then: "You want me to meet your family now of all times?"

Kurt nodded. "There is no MRD in Germany, und vith them and the circus, ve vould be traveling all the time, the Purifiers probably couldn't find us."

She watched him intently for a moment, her fingers threading themselves through Kurt's hair in an absentminded fashion. "But what if they get wrapped up in this mess too? What if they do find us, or rather, me? You can't seriously be considering putting your family in danger-"

"They von't be in danger," Kurt said firmly. "The MRD can't arrest normal people -vhich they are even if they're circus people- vithout cause, let alone if they're in a different country. Und they can more than handle themselves against Purifiers."

"The MRD would _have _just cause. They'd be harboring me!" She shook her head almost violently. "I would love to meet your family, but definitely, _definitely _not under these circumstances. Putting your stubborn ass in danger is bad enough, I don't want to get your family in trouble too!"

"Jyulia, trust me. I know my family. The MRD von't find you, und the Purifiers von't even know vhere to start looking. Margali -the voman that adopted me- has vays of hiding, no vone vill find us if ve don't want them to."

Julia stared at him long and hard, and then made a a face that was more resignation than agreement. "And how exactly do you propose we get to Germany in the first place?"

"Getting through Europe vill be easy," Kurt shrugged, not worried in the least about that part. Backpacking and caravan trips through Europe were common, they could easily pass as a pair of drifters. Factor in his ability to teleport here and there, and he didn't foresee having the slightest problem getting to Germany once they crossed the ocean. Getting out of the States on the other hand was another matter entirely. He just hoped the MRD had more important things to do than search ports and airports for Julia.

As if reading his thoughts, Julia asked: "And what about the getting _to_ Europe part?"

"That...that part I'm not so sure about."

Her arms slackened a bit around his neck, her hands resting on his shoulders instead, looking, it seemed, at the ceiling above his head. "Maybe..." Her voice was cautiously guarded against sounding too hopeful, "-maybe if we leave soon enough, from a different city...they wouldn't catch on until we were gone..."

"I can teleport somevhere else no problem."

Julia gave him an odd sort of half-frown, only one corner of her lips tilting down. "Kurt, are you sure about this? I don't want you to make any decisions you're going to regret...and if we get caught-"

"Ve aren't going to get caught. Have a little faith _liebling. _Ve can do this. Und as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing to regret." His thumbs traced over her cheek bones gently, hoping to soothe away worries he still saw in her eyes. He believed every word he had said; all they had to do was dodge the MRD a little longer and get on the road, after that, they would be home free. Nor did he feel he had anything to regret, if he was with Julia he didn't think he would mind no longer being a part of the X-Men.

Although, there was still one little thing to worry about, that being Cerebro and the world's most powerful telepath behind it. Would the Professor seek them out? If he did, what would he do when he found them? Even Margali's long list of tricks couldn't keep them out of Cerebro's range for long, or at least, couldn't keep him out of it; Julia could go undetected by telepathy. That was something Kurt was going to have to worry over a little longer.

His wandering thoughts returned when Julia gave a little wiggle, nudging his shoulders. "I think I want to take a quick shower before we get too far into the great escape. I smell like gun smoke and Sabertooth."

"Yes, sorry," He apologized, rolling off of her. "I brought you some clothes, I think they vill fit, but it vas hard to tell."

"Don't suppose you got underwear? I don't usually...wear any. In either of my costumes."

"Oh." Kurt felt his eyes widen as he realized he had forgotten a rather important piece of clothing, and he suddenly felt rather embarrassed. Not to say the idea of Julia not having any undergarments on at that moment was embarrassing, it wasn't really something he was unfamiliar with after all, but the idea of going and buying them for her was something Kurt never would have imagined having to deal with. The very idea of picking ladies underwear out in the store made him feel awkward.

Julia pushed herself up with a smile. "Don't worry about it hon, I'll just go without. I'm happy you thought of clothes at all, or I might have gone out like this." She made a motion as though to slide her legs off the bed, but paused at the edge of the mattress, suddenly seeming to be lost in thought. "Have I told you recently that I love you?" She questioned, her eyes wandering back in his direction, though they still had the vacant, distant look to them.

"You just did."

"Well, I'm saying it again. I love you Kurt. So, so much." She leaned over him now, her mouth brushing lightly on his. "But I am absolutely scared shitless of losing you. Especially the way Destiny is saying I will."

"You von't lose me _liebling,_" He promised, though he was more than a little distracted by her lovely lips. Still, he could tell she was worried, he could feel it, radiating off of her nearly as strongly as the allure that was more or less a constant for Kurt. There were very few times where they were in close proximity with one another and Kurt was not acutely aware of the effect she had on him; the fact that her breasts were very nearly bare in the torn top certainly wasn't helping matters. Still, he put aside thoughts of Julia's addictive curves with no small effort and sat up to give her a brief hug. "You von't lose me," He repeated.

The look she gave him in return bordered on the forlorn. "Just promise me that if we get into trouble, any trouble, we run. We don't try to negotiate, and we don't try to fight. We just get the hell away."

"That I can promise you Jyulia, just so long as you don't try to take any bullets for me."

She gave a little snort and raised an eyebrow, a smirk curving her lips. "Sorry, which one of us has an energy form that can stop bullets?"

"Show off," He mock-scoffed, and was shoved into the mattress by her hand in the center of his chest. Before he had time to retaliate however, Julia had sprung from the bed and fled for the bathroom.

Kurt smiled and reclined on the pillows, content to lie in wait until she re-emerged.

After all, she hadn't thought to grab a towel or her clean clothes on her way to the shower.

* * *

><p>On the other side of the door, Julia wasn't feeling nearly as playful. In fact, she felt so muddled she didn't know what exactly she <em>was <em>feeling. On the one hand, she was so deliriously happy to be with Kurt again she wanted to dance around the bathroom, but on the same note when she thought of everything that could happen, all the bad things, she was overwhelmed with an odd mix of anxiety, fear, and anger. It felt nearly like vertigo the way her brain kept jumping between the two extremes. Still, was Kurt wrong? What if they could be together and still avoid Destiny's prediction?

Julia would like nothing more than to believe it. All things considered, the plan they had made -sneaking off to Germany- wasn't half bad. It might actually work out without anyone getting hurt. Of course, Julia didn't know how much of that was just her wishful thinking. Still, in the long run, she supposed her original plan would remain the same. The minute her presence put Kurt in danger she would leave, and she didn't care how long or how far she had to run.

Julia stepped out of the warm confines of the shower, groping for a towel, and instead found an empty counter, realizing she hadn't grabbed a towel or clothes, and hadn't the faintest clue where they would be either.

"Hey, Kurt?" Apparently having been waiting for the cue, Kurt appeared in a burst of smoke with a towel in hand, and a rather sly smile on his face as he wrapped her in both the towel and his arms, snuggling his cheek against her neck. He was also doing quite an effective job of pinning her arms to her sides. "Mm...I appreciate the room service lover, but I don't think we have time to play. If we're going to go, we ought to do it sooner rather than later."

"Ja. You're probably right," He sighed in response, leaving a kiss on her shoulder instead. "Later then, _liebling._ Vhen ve're home free." He squeezed her once, and let his arms slid away from her. "I'll go get get us checked out, und see if the manager knows vhere ve can find the nearest airport outside of LA."

"Okay. Uhm...do you have a hat or something you plan to wear? You're kinda...recognizable and all."

"No vorries. Image Inducer. I brought it along, just in case." Kurt held up his wrist with a small smile, before hitting the button so that his natural blue self blinked into his disguise. "Don't disappear on me Jyulia, I'll be right back."

Julia shook her head slightly, running the towel through her hair and wondering whether Kurt was really taking this as lightly as he seemed to be, or if it was just a show for her sake.

* * *

><p>"Captain, we've finished interviewing the witnesses."<p>

A tall, broadly muscled man looked up at the title, his MRD uniform differentiated from the other officer present only by the patches decorating his shoulder labeling him as 'Captain Jennings'. He had been with the MRD only a short time, and the promotion to Captain had stemmed more from his prior military experience than his work with the force. Truth be told, he wasn't even all that fond of his job; he didn't hate mutants, mostly he just felt sorry for a lot of them, but he hadn't been in a position to refuse the position after the military had let him go based on an injury. So he did his job, and tried to do it without bloodshed when he could. Which was getting harder and harder these days.

"And what did they have to say?"

"Honestly, it's a little confusing sir. We've got a couple witnesses, nurses, who say the mutant was trying to save Richardson from some other muties who arrived on scene shortly after she did, while others are saying _she _was the most dangerous one there. We haven't been able to call any of those witnesses back to corroborate with one another though."

"I see...double check those witness names will you? I don't like it when stories don't add up."

"Yes, sir."

"And the actual mutant, what do we know about her?"

"Not much. We think she was connected with the X-Men at some point, but we're not so sure now. Either way, she hasn't been in the public eye long. We know the pseudonym she's been going by is Eclipse, but we don't have much to go on other than that for finding her civilian identity. We're not entirely sure of the exact nature of her powers either, some sort of nullification ability near as we can tell from the incident in Boston and an earlier one involving an out-of-control mutie. She's bullet proof or bullet resistant, and radiation has little or no effect, so we may have to break out some special equipment when we go after her. Class-wise, she was initially placed as a Gamma-level mutant, but after the power display in Boston, she's currently being re-evaluated as a Beta or possibly an Alpha, insofar as her absorbing or nullifying ability at least. There aren't many mutants out there who can stop nuclear devices like that."

"Is she lethal?"

"No sir, at least, not inherently. Her mutant ability seems to be mostly defensive, though, as you know, she is capable of killing the old-fashioned way. And we've had a few reports of nerve-damage which we think she was responsible for, though we aren't sure how she did it yet."

"Very well. And the other one? The blue one who helped her?"

"We've positively identified him as one of the X-Men. Nightcrawler, I think they call him. Teleporter. He doesn't seem to be as dangerous, and we're unsure of the X-Men's involvement in Eclipse's actions."

"It doesn't really matter, she's our main concern."

"Yes sir-" Another soldier jostled in through the door, looking a little more enthused than the one giving the briefing.

"Excuse me, Captain Jennings, we think we've got a positive ID of Eclipse."

"Where?" Jennings stood quickly.

"In Santa Ana, a hotel manager recognized her. Apparently she can look human when she wants to, but he recognized her face. And there's another person with her, a man. We're not sure who he is. The manager says they were looking for a plane out of here, so if we want to catch her, we've got to go now."

"Well, we'd best head out then. Bring power dampeners and set up a perimeter of about a mile, I imagine she's not able to use her powers when she looks normal, so it's our best chance to get a dampener on her."

"Yes sir." The officers replied simultaneously and started out of his office quickly. Jennings remained where he was for a moment, wondering about this woman and what her motivations were. She had killed nearly two dozen men in New York, and critically wounded many more than that, not to mention the one she had killed in Boston. And there were the officers she had brutalized before her escape from the LA hospital. All this, and she may have tried to help the doctor? Why? It didn't make sense. And last he'd checked, the X-Men hadn't been big on killing people; getting in the way of proper authorities sure, but they weren't usually known for murder. What did they have to do with any of this?

He supposed, when he got right down to it, the only way to know for certain was to catch this Eclipse woman and ask her directly.

* * *

><p>"So, first thing I'm doing after we leave is buy a bra." Julia sated, feeling like, not for the first time, she was getting a rather lecherous eye from from a passerby walking the other direction from them on the sidewalk. Santa Ana, though smaller than Los Angeles, was still pretty crowded, and she and Kurt were weaving there way through what seemed to be rush-hour. The clothes Kurt had picked up fit her pretty well, if they were a smidge too tight, particularly the navy blue t-shirt; which made it rather obvious she wasn't wearing undergarments.<p>

"Vell, at least it's better than going topless _liebling. _Of course, I don't think I vould have let you go too far uncovered either." Kurt smiled, leaning towards her slightly, though he was careful not to get close enough that her powers would mess with his disguise.

"Mm. True, I suppose beggars can't be choosers. It's better than what was left of the costume anyway. Still, next guy who isn't you that looks at me like that is getting punched in the face." She sent a glare in the direction of the creep, who seemed to take the hint and kept walking. They were within blocks of the airport, and Julia honestly couldn't believe that nothing had gone wrong yet.

"Do you really think I look at you like that?"

"No, not really. You're sexier about it when you're undressing me with your eyes." Kurt chuckled, which in turn caused Julia to smile a little. Just a little longer and they really would be free. All they had to do was get to the Santa Ana airport and hop on the first international plane out of here. Hardly seemed like a challenge now.

The pair stepped into the airport's air-conditioned lobby, each giving a quick, instinctive once-over to the area, looking for anything that was potentially dangerous.

"Vait here, I'll go see about tickets."

"Sure." Julia nodded, and moved away from the door into the corner, understanding it was probably best for her to stay out of sight. Whether people would recognize her like this was hard to say, but Kurt's Image Inducer disguise was probably their best bet to get them safely out of California.

So, she took to the corner and stayed mostly out of sight, absently thumbing through the visitors guide to Santa Ana. She glanced up upon hearing her name, or at least, Eclipse, thinking for split-second that Kurt had returned already, but just as quickly realized it wasn't his voice, and she wasn't being talked to, but about. By a medium-sized group of men in uniform, carrying small, high-tech looking weapons.

_Shit! I had to jinx it and think things were going well! _Julia thought vehemently, dropping her book and moving as quickly and casually as she could behind the magazine rack. _Should have known better than to trust a seedy hotel manager. It was probably him that gave us away. That, or Mystique is following us around and told them where we were just to be a bitch. Wouldn't put it past her considering I punched her in the back of the head. _She peered between the books at them, deciding it must be MRD, they were too precise to be Purifiers, though whether that was a good sign or not she couldn't yet say. Her eyes turned next towards the ticket counter, seeking Kurt. He, in turn, was trying to pretend he didn't notice the officers and went about buying tickets, but his eyes were continually wandering back and forth between them and Julia's general location.

_Please, please, please just let us get through this without anything going wrong..._Julia thought silently, though she was unsure which higher power she was praying to. She edged towards the wall behind her, hoping to find the women's bathroom and a decent place to hide for a few moments. Once out of sight she could change forms without drawing attention to herself, and that would give her a major edge in dodging their search. She just had to get there first.

"Excuse me miss, are you looking for anything?"

"Er..." Julia turned to the attendant questioning her with a look that probably bordered on terror. The woman's smile faltered slightly, but she persisted.

"Are you trying to find a particular flight?"

"Uh...no. Just the bathroom."

"I'm afraid the restroom isn't public." Her smile faltered again, this time in a contemptuous fashion. Julia supposed she probably didn't really pass for decent society at the moment, though she didn't think she looked as bad as the woman was acting.

"My boyfriend is buying tickets, you could probably go help him. Over there. I just need the bathroom." Julia waved a finger in the general direction of Kurt, while watching the MRD in the corner of her eye. A pair of them were heading her way, probably curious about the ruckus, and probably having expected there to be trouble when she arrived.

"I'm sorry miss, but I have to ask you to lea-"

"Sir, I think I found her!"

"Damnit!" Julia shoved the attendant aside, trying to get her out of the way in case they started shooting, and willed her poor worn-out powers into action. Even after sleep and a couple cups of coffee, she was still pretty low on energy, but she thought escape was still probably do-able.

The familiar ripple passed over her form, but before it could spread fully, a sharp, burning pain erupted in the back of Julia's shoulder, the blow nearly took her off her feet, and had her doubled over in pain, her hand clutching at the shoulder. "Argh...!" She pulled her hand away and found blood on her fingers, and realized, with panic exploding in her chest, whatever they had shot her with had stopped her shift. Not just stopped it, totally reversed it. She couldn't feel her powers, couldn't hit the mental 'on-switch' to activate them. It was the strangest, most awful feeling thing she had ever experienced, she hadn't lost touch with her powers since she had developed them, no matter how hard she had tried to repress them before; it was like suddenly having an out-of-body experience, everything suddenly feeling strange and foreign.

She came back to herself just in time to duck out of the way of the officer trying to grab her, and made a break for the main door, her legs feeling odd and wobbly, keeping a hand over the wound in her back. It didn't seem bad, other than the power dampener or whatever it was.

She sprinted sideways to dodge another pair of officers coming at her, managing to land a kick square in the knee of one of them, while what could only be Kurt's tail caught the other one by the ankle and dropped him on his face.

"I've got you," Kurt announced, his arms curling around her torso and spiriting her away towards the ceiling.

"We've got to get out of here!"

"Ja, suppose the tickets vill have to vait." He frowned at the counter, before casting his eyes outside, and teleporting to what she assumed was the first convenient location. He let go of her when both their feet were on the ground, looking down with wide eyes when he noticed blood on his hand. "You're hurt."

"They shot me with...something, I don't know. Some kind of power represent"

"Let me see." Kurt's hand spun her around and reached for the collar of her shirt, tugging at it impatiently. She glanced over her shoulder, trying to see for herself what the damage was. The shirt didn't seem too terribly bloody, but what was alarming was the chunk of metal that appeared to be lodged in her skin.

"That's new," She observed offhandedly, while Kurt's fingers gently prodded the area around the metal, which was swollen and bruised. It hurt like hell, but Julia kept her teeth tightly closed, remembering that Kurt was a medic and would know what he was doing. "I didn't know they had power dampeners they could _shoot _at us now. Can you pull it out?"

"Ja...maybe. If I had some kind of surgical tools or something. I dhink if I try, it vill cause some serious damage. I think it's barbed."

"Barbed?"

"Like an arrow. If I try to just pull it out, it vill only make it vorse. You could lose a lot of blood."

"Oh...fuck." Julia turned her eyes forward, looking at the floor of the empty office building they had ended up in -must be a Saturday, though Julia couldn't rightly remember- then dropped her head into her hands. "Damnit! I could stop the bleeding for awhile if I went to my energy form, but that would only last for a little while, and we'd get caught for sure. And no doubt they've got a homing beacon or some shit in there too. Fuck!" She swung her foot into the nearest desk, leaving a dent in the aluminum and adding throbbing toes to her list of problems. "God..." She hauled in a breath, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands. "Kurt, I don't know what to do. I don't know what in the hell we're supposed to do now."

"Ve just have to run. That vas the deal, remember? They can't move as fast as ve can, ve'll just move on and try to get to a different plane."

"That doesn't change the fact there could be a goddamn tracking device lodged in my back." She jabbed a thumb over her shoulder. "And even if there's not..."

"Vhat?"

"They knew where we were going almost as soon as we did. I don't know if it was the hotel guy or...or Mystique just being herself, but I think we're fighting a losing battle here sweetheart."

"Vell I don't think so," Kurt replied adamantly, shaking his head.

"And I think you're bordering on delusional," Julia snapped. A moment later, she bit her lip, realizing that she was taking her frustration out on entirely the wrong person. "Sorry. This is just...really agitating."

"I understand being upset Jyulia. But just quitting von't get us very far." Kurt's hand settled on her good shoulder, his fingers massaging gently. "So...vhere do you vant to try next?"

"I...I don't know..." Julia shook her head and sank into the chair near the desk she had kicked, rubbing her temples. Kurt frowned slightly, but didn't question her further, instead walking over to the window and planting himself on a cubicle wall, apparently observing the street while Julia observed him.

This was wrong. She couldn't keep dragging him further into this. How long before he got put on whatever black list she was on? Even if Destiny's vision never came true, there were so many other things that could happen...so many other things that she didn't want to see happen. And now...with this stupid power dampener stuck in her shoulder, she was just going to be inconvenient. Sure, she still knew how to throw a punch or two without her other form, but she wasn't exactly as durable in her human form, and she certainly didn't like her chances if anyone started shooting at her. Or Kurt for that matter.

If things went anymore downhill at this point, they were screwed. She knew it. Julia looked at her hands, watching her fingers shake. That didn't seem entirely normal. Thinking back, she remembered what Hank had once said about repressing her powers. It was dangerous, maybe even deadly for her. So, assuming they could get away again at some point, she might not exactly survive the journey. Keeping her powers repressed could turn her into a vegetable. This just kept getting better.

Julia's fingers wound themselves into a fist. This had to stop now, before she got him any deeper. _I hope you'll understand that this is really for your own good Kurt..._

She would have preferred using her claws on him, something that was -she assumed- less painful, but she had to settle for the paper weight on the desk. Her fingers wrapped around it, and, feeling like the worst person on the face of the planet, Julia crept over to him, knowing that the last thing Kurt would do was suspect her of meaning any harm.

"I'm so, so sorry about this my love."

"Vhat do you-" His words dropped off as the paper weight collided with the base of his skull, and Julia dropped it like it had possessed her. She hated to hurt him, but she figured a nasty bruise was better than getting him locked up and interrogated by the MRD. Sooner or later he would hopefully realize this was easier.

"I would have loved to run away with you, I really would have. But I won't risk losing you, whether Destiny was right or not doesn't matter, this can only end badly. And...I don't think I'm really worth everything you're trying to give up."

She knelt down and left a kiss where she knew he would have a bruise when he woke up, knowing it wouldn't ease the hurt at all, but it made her feel a small measure of comfort. She stood and turned toward the door of the building, hoping that leaving the Image Inducer on would at least give him time to escape if anyone should stumble upon him before he woke up. She hadn't hit him too hard, so she hoped it wouldn't be long.

_Maybe I can make it up to you someday...not that I think they'll ever let me out..._

Julia didn't think she could run again. Not because she was tired, or because she wanted to, but simply because it seemed like it was time to admit defeat, give in to the hand fate kept dealing her. If she ran again, Kurt would probably find her and this would all start all over again. If he didn't the MRD would. She honestly didn't doubt there was some sort of tracking device lodged in her back as well as the power dampener, and considering how easy a time the MRD seemed to have tracking her anyway, truly getting away from them was seeming farther and farther away. And, all that aside, she wasn't sure how she felt about simply running away from her crimes anymore. The main reason she had always hated the Purifiers was because no one punished them; what did that make her if she refused to accept the consequences of what she had done?

It made her worse than a hypocrite. It made her just like them.

* * *

><p>As she'd expected, they had been tracking her, and she met them in full-force less than halfway back towards the airport. No one spoke, no one fought. She simply raised her hands and announced:<p>

"I'm done."


	25. Chapter 25

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Actually, this is one of the few times I don't have much of anything to say. :) Read away!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 25<strong>

There were one-hundred and twenty tiles in the ceiling. Which amounted to precisely one-hundred and twenty anti-power grids hard-wired above her head. She hadn't yet gotten around to trying to guess how many were in the wall panels.

Julia didn't know whether she would have the concentration to do anything more than the simple math used to calculate the number in the ceiling anyway. The constant hum of the machinery around her was made to interrupt her mental faculties, or at least, the ones that they theorized were connected to mutant powers; and it gave her one hell of a headache being around them all day. As if that wasn't bad enough, they had matched the wavelength of the energy emitted by the damned machines as exactly the opposite of the one she utilized with her powers, in other words, even if the machines didn't mess with her brain, the room would neutralize her energy before she could even manage to switch to her energy form. Who knew the MRD had stuff like this?

Julia rubbed her eyes, feeling like she hadn't closed them in days. Maybe she hadn't. It was really hard to tell how much time had passed in a windowless room which she wasn't allowed to leave. Plus, with all the power-repressing wiring in the room she had a hard time forming complete thoughts. The machines probably didn't have such severe effects on mutants who's powers weren't so integrated with their bodily functions, but, unfortunately, Julia's were. Repressing her powers to such a degree made her feel like she had been given a high dose of anesthesia, everything felt fuzzy and slow-moving, and she had lost most of the feeling in her hands and feet.

_Well, it could be worse I guess. It could hurt or something. Not to say this is fun, but at least I'm not in pain. _

She knew she had to be on trial somewhere after her capture, no doubt the MRD had commercialized it like the Superbowl to prove to the regular folks out there that they could actually protect them from mutants, and to advertise what a bad idea it was to kill humans to any mutants who thought to imitate her example. Either way, she wondered how the trial was going, considering she hadn't yet been invited. Maybe the fifth amendment didn't apply to mutants? She huffed a scoff of a sarcastic laugh at the ceiling; being in here certainly made her sound more jaded. She hadn't even gotten into a prison fight yet.

Experimentally she rolled over on the mattress, careful not to stretch the stitches in her shoulder. Kurt had been right in his assessment of the dart, it had been full of mean barbs and required a shot of morphine and scalpel to dig back out, though they had seemed please with it's success in keeping her 'normal'.

_Kurt...I wonder if he's alright. Don't know why he loves me. All I seem to do is get the poor guy in trouble. Guess I'm just lucky. God. I wish I'd never dragged him into this mess. Hell, I almost wish I'd never bothered trying to help that doctor. I seriously don't think it was worth it, considering he ended up dead anyway..._

She cast her eyes to other side of her tiny cell at the sound of the door opening, and discovered two of the guards in the doorway, one bearing a set of electronic looking cuffs, the other a collar and a night stick. This would imply they were taking her somewhere, somewhere which didn't have the power dampening grid the cell did; which was likely either the lab or visiting quarters. Though, that said, she hadn't had a visitor yet so that option didn't seem probable.

"No trouble." The guard with the nightstick warned, pointing it at Julia in a way she supposed was meant to be scary. She merely rolled her eyes, and with no small effort raised herself into a sitting position and raised her hands. They had -so far anyway- mostly been too scared of her to make physical contact unless absolutely needed. They didn't yet understand her powers, so most seemed to think she could still be dangerous.

"Sure. None."

They half-dragged, half-carried Julia out of the hallway, moving along at a steady pace, Julia's eyes having an awful time adjusting to the lights over her head. Before long, about two-hundred paces, she was dumped into a plastic chair, under more bright lights, and heard a very, very familiar voice state:

"Thank you. I will handle it from here." She blinked in confusion as her brain caught up with the world around her.

"Professor?"

* * *

><p>Xavier wasn't exactly shocked to see the state Julia was in, he <em>was<em> surprised she had begun to look so...haggard as quickly as she had. The circles under her eyes were dark, as though she hadn't slept properly in several months; though that couldn't be the case since she had only been in captivity for two weeks. Her skin was pale and sallow looking, and she moved as though parts of her body were in severe pain or numb. Unfortunately, Xavier was not here to see to her care. He had barely been allowed visitation rights, and it had only been after a gentle psychic nudge he had even been allowed into the MRD facility. Of course, they also thought he was nothing more than some form of legal representation, he shuddered to think how much more difficult it would have been to convince them if they knew he was a mutant too.

Still, Xavier had felt it necessary to come here. Not only because Julia was still one of his X-Men, but because Kurt deserved some answers. After whatever had separated them, Kurt had evidently gone on a desperate and ultimately futile week-long search of the entirety of LA for Julia, inadvertently terrifying many of the city's inhabitants. However, upon being unable to find her -even after some questionable tactics used to interrogate MRD agents he had ambushed along the way- he had given up the ghost as it were, and had finally called the institute, the only thing he really could have done in his situation, much to Xavier's relief. Whatever Kurt had done in Los Angeles was less of a concern for Professor Xavier; what he was currently going through at home on the other hand was quite worrying. Kurt was, quite simply, in some of the most severe emotional agony Xavier had ever felt, even if only vicariously. Depression and loss were certainly the most dominant feelings -no one had yet managed to coax Kurt out of his room for anything other than the occasional meal- but a feeling of betrayal was constantly cutting though, usually immediately followed by guilt. He felt as though Julia had somehow betrayed him by leaving him behind, which was tangled up with feeling guilty over being unable to help her. And of course, Kurt refused to talk about it with anyone, because he believed that no one loved Julia the way he did. True enough perhaps, but it wasn't as though the others were any happier to see her arrest; Xavier imagined they had all been secretly hoping she would escape.

All that aside, Professor Xavier hoped, perhaps naively, that if he was able to get some words to pass along from Julia, he could at least provide Kurt some solace. He hoped to offer him that much if at all possible.

"Let me guess," Julia broke the silence between them, her eyes seeming somehow unfocused as she met Xavier's gaze, "-you're here to pick my brain now that they took my powers away?"

"Your powers are very much intact, I assure you. They merely removed your access to them. I still can't read your mind, nor would I force my telepathy on you."

"Then why are you here?"

"Aren't you even going to ask about Kurt?" The first flicker of life appeared in Julia's eyes at the mention of his name, but she maintained her neutral posture.

"Is he...alright?"

"Other than being quite heart-broken and upset, yes, I believe he's fine."

"Don't give me that. You and I both know he was only going to get hurt. It was the only choice I could make." The flicker of interest went away as quickly as it had emerged, and she returned to staring at the wall to their left. Xavier sighed slightly, folding his hands.

"I suppose you should know that Eric is championing a campaign for your release," He stated nonchalantly.

Julia gave a snort in return. "And why in the world would he be doing that? I turned my back on the Brotherhood."

"Perhaps, yes. But you are also a mutant who followed his cause. I believe he's attempting to use you as the poster child for what happens to mutants who attempt to stand up for themselves. It seems to be causing quite the stir."

"It's a pity it's not that black and white. I don't think the things I've done were really about standing up for myself." Julia shook her head, her long, tangled hair falling in her face. Professor Xavier took the opportunity to broach the subject of Julia's recent behavior. He had known when he arrived that if he brought it up on his side of the conversation, she would simply shut down and refuse to answer, they would have gotten nowhere. However, since she had brought it up herself, perhaps she was ready to discuss it, to give him some answers.

"Why did you kill those men in New York?" His tone was perfectly composed and neutral, not wanting to give Julia the feeling she was being condemned for a second time.

"Because they deserved it."

"And why did they deserve it?"

She shot him a miniscule glare. "You didn't see what they were doing in that warehouse. You didn't see the way they had experimented and killed those kids. I did."

"Julia you could have taken the information to the police. We could have exposed the Purifiers as a terrorist group rather than the freedom fighters they claim to be. Instead, you destroyed the evidence and proved that mutants are deadly and made those monsters martyrs by killing them."

"Who would have believed me?"

"I would have. The X-Men would have. Why didn't you come to me with that information?"

"_You _haven't trusted me since you figured out you couldn't read my mind."

"Julia, that's simply not true," Professor Xavier said firmly.

She gave him a face that said, quite plainly, that she didn't believe him for a second. Xavier frowned, realizing that this was going to be more complicated than he had originally thought. Yes, it was more difficult for him to work with Julia, if only because he had grown so accustomed to using telepathy to communicate in place of a phone or email, but he had tried to avoid letting it effect the way he treated her in comparison with the other members of the team. After all, he was unable to read Storm's mind as well, and Ororo had nearly always had his full trust. Is that why Julia had pulled away from the X-Men? Because she had felt ostracized in some way?

"You don't believe we would have tried to help you?"

"It was too late. You can't rescue the dead Professor. It's sad but it's true. So instead, I tried to rescue any future victims they might create. I killed them."

Again, Xavier frowned. In some twisted way, her logic made sense, it was even noble. That said, if he let her believe that it would involve tossing his own morals and beliefs right out the window, it involved undermining everything he had built his school and the X-Men on. The X-Men did _not _kill.

"But Julia, you must understand that it wasn't your place to judge-"

"I've had this exact same debate before, Professor. With Kurt. I'll tell you what I told him. I'm not judging and I'm not saying what I did was a good thing, I'm just saying that at the very least, those particular assholes won't be hurting anyone else."

"And that makes you feel as though your actions were justified?"

"Yeah. Pretty much." She shrugged.

"I see..." Xavier sighed. He honestly couldn't tell whether Julia truly did believe in what she had said, or she was merely being stubborn. "There is...another reason I came to see you Julia."

"And what would that be?"

"I was hoping that you would have something I could pass along to Kurt. He's...as I said, he's extremely upset. I think it would help him to hear from you."

Unexpectedly, Julia had quite the opposite reaction to what Xavier had hoped. Her eyes glassed over with tears, her lower lip quivering slightly as she stared hard at the wall that had been occupying her attention for most of their interview.

"I don't know what to say to make it better," She said quietly, her voice shaking and small. "All I ever seem to do is hurt him. I never mean to, but...but..."

"I know. Perhaps it can't be helped. Still, is there anything...any message you would likely me to give him?" Xavier reached a hand across the space separating them to lay his hand on her shoulder. "Ordinarily I would simply put your minds together, but I'm afraid we have to do it the old-fashioned way with you."

"Yeah, me and my lovely mutation." Julia's laugh sounded more like a scoff as she shook her head. "Just tell him the usual I guess. You know, I love him more than life itself, he's amazing, I'm so, so glad I met him, and tell him it wasn't his fault. I got myself into the mess, he had nothing to do with it. And I clubbed him over the head and I gave myself up, so me getting caught wasn't his fault. Nothing was his fault. Make sure he knows that. And please just keep him out of trouble, I don't know how this is going to work out yet, I dunno what they're going to do but it's okay. Whatever happens, I'm going to accept it as consequences of my actions, so...don't let him do anything crazy like try to rescue me or something. He needs to just let it go. I screwed up and this is how it's going to end. I know he's going to feel bad, but...I can't make that better. There's a lot I can't make better actually. But I prefer it happens this way than the way it was going, I didn't want to make him a causality of my personal vendetta."

The Professor nodded, placing his hand back on his lap. "I'll make sure he gets the message."

"Okay...thanks. I know this is probably weird for you to. But, well," Julia raised her hands to further display the rather obvious cuffs on her wrists, "-I can't exactly take a stroll to New York and pour my heart out to Kurt right now."

"It's alright." There was a pause of silence, Julia's mind seemed to be wandering off again, and the Professor wasn't entirely convinced it was because she was actually thinking of anything in particular. She couldn't seem to stay focused for long, and he suspected it had something to do with her restraints. They didn't seem to be keeping her physically restrained, but it was fairly obvious that she belonged to the small groups of mutants -home to Magneto, Wolverine and the like- that was considered a guaranteed threat. Meaning she was likely restrained at all times, and he distinctly remembered Hank worrying over that exact situation more than once. Again, however, it pained Xavier to remember that he was not here to attempt to remedy her situation, he didn't think he would be capable of doing so, even if he was. Julia, like Eric, had simply gone so far down her own path that there was no turning back. The difference being that Julia seemed willing accept where that path lead her, Eric stubbornly refused to acknowledge what the end would most likely be: extinction, for mutants or for humans, Xavier could not yet predict.

The door opened once again and the guards reappeared, Xavier's small psychic suggestion having finally worn off.

Julia cast them a glance that was almost bored, and looked back at Xavier. "Thanks for coming to see me Professor. And I hope...I hope you'll take care of Kurt."

"I'll certainly try."

"You managed before I showed up and started getting him into trouble," Julia said, the corner of her mouth quirking up slightly. A parody of a smile, but Xavier took it as a good sign all the same.

She left with the guards without any sort resistance, leaving Xavier to contemplate the situation. If nothing else, he would at least be able to project Julia's smile for Kurt, that would ease a little of the depression. He hoped.

* * *

><p>She was counting ceiling tiles again. Which was silly because she knew exactly how many were there. But as usual it was all she really had the mental capacity to do, and if she didn't concentrate on something, she was honestly worried she would just drift off into some void she would never manage to come back from. In her opinion, that was easily as terrifying as the thought of physically fading out, that simply ceasing to exist would somehow be worse than death. So she continued to count the ceiling tiles, one by one by one.<p>

Assuming they fed her three meals a day, Julia would estimate it had been about two weeks since Professor Xavier had stopped in for his little visit, which would mean Christmas should be drawing very, very near, unless it happened already. Julia had nearly forgotten about the holiday completely until she had heard a pair of guards discussing Christmas bonuses and what they planned to spend them on. Not that it really made any difference to her, she didn't think they'd be big on showing her any Christmas spirit, it just made her a little sad to think that this should have been the first Christmas she and Kurt would have shared. Hell, it would have been the first time she bothered to celebrate the yuletide event in several years, because, like her birthday, she hadn't had anyone to celebrate it with while she was in New York. If things had gone a little differently, she would have had a whole gaggle of family/friends to spend it with this year.

"Too late now..." She mumbled aloud, simply to hear the sound of a human voice. Even if it was her own, it was reassuring to hear it. Made the place seem less dead. Her eyes drifted closed, tired from staring so long at the ceiling, and she tried to find another train of thought. What could she do besides count?

Julia cracked an eye open again, thought she wasn't sure how much time had passed, when she head footsteps in the corridor. Different than the MRD, quiet, firm. Military maybe? Or at least, it sounded like someone with definite purpose, and that purpose seemed to be near her cell door, for that's where the steps stopped.

"Shut if off."

"But sir, she's dangerous and-"

"You heard me."

"Er...yes Director."

A male and a female judging by the voices. This just got more and more interesting, Julia had never encountered a female MRD officer, she wondered who the woman was. Her eyes shot upwards when the hum that had been constant since she had arrived suddenly died away, and the feeling was akin to suddenly having a heavy wool bag pulled off her head. Clarity and the access to her powers came flooding back into Julia so abruptly it was nearly staggering; she had to shake her head in an attempt to re-adjust to her brain suddenly being fully functional again. It was like she had been asleep all this time and was only just now waking up. And she was waking up to a total stranger standing in the cell door.

"Do you know who I am?" He asked, his hands in the pockets of a long coat, which he wore over some sort of uniform. An eye-patch covered one eye, and the other was watching her with neutral interest.

"I can hazard a guess," Julia replied, rubbing her eyes against the light from the hall. "What brings SHIELD all the way to my little corner of the complex? And why turn the power grid off?"

"Call it...a gesture of good will."

"And why would I need your good will, Director?" She questioned, mimicking the title she had heard before. Nick Fury, despite the stories, struck her as being totally normal. Minus the eye-patch, there didn't seem to be anything too special about him, and he hadn't come in here guns blazing. But, one didn't become the Director of the most prestigious information organization on the planet without having a little something special. So what did he want with her?

He crossed the floor with an easy demeanor, but she thought she could pick up on disguised tension, he would probably be out the door with a gun lined up with her eye-socket the moment she gave him a reason. For the moment though, he merely kicked the metal chair away from the tiny table in the corner, plopping down in it casually. He dug around within his coat and produced a large envelope, handing it over to Julia.

"How about this guy? What can you tell me about him?"

Hesitant and rather confused, Julia took the envelope cautiously and flipped through it, her confusion increasing when she found it to be a file on Jefferson Telmond. She was pretty sure everyone knew she had everything to do with what had happened to him, so why was Nick Fury sitting in her cell and asking her about it?

"I can't say for certain, but I'm going to assume that he's still in a hospital somewhere, and doctors are trying to figure out why his nerves are all dead when there's no sign of physical damage." She replied, admittedly probably being more of a smart-ass than she needed to be. Much to her surprise, he actually seemed pleased with this answer.

"Good. I'm glad we're going to be straightforward with one another Miss Hayle."

"Rumor has it Nick Fury is never straightforward with anyone."

"Well, you can't believe everything you hear. What was your beef with Telmond?"

"He made a bomb." Julia shrugged. No one had asked her these questions before, no one had really cared. They were only concerned with the fact that it was an act of mutant violence. "A bomb that was then used in an attempt to kill a lot of mutants and nuke part of Boston in the process. I was hoping it would slow down the Purifiers if one of their leaders was suddenly unable to lead. Not the case, obviously."

"And did you happen to hear where he got the bomb, Miss Hayle?"

"It's Eclipse."

"Excuse me?"

"If we're going to talk about things involving super heroes and mutant powers, then it's Eclipse. 'Miss Hayle' is for when you're asking me about the weather or something."

Fury's mouth twitched, as though he was tempted to smile, but it vanished quickly. "Okay. Sorry, Eclipse. Now about that bomb-"

"He said the MRD sold it to them. And the radiation guns they've started using." Though Julia answered, she wasn't entirely sure where any of this was supposed to be going. Shouldn't SHIELD know about all this already? And if they did, why in the heck were they in here questioning her instead of weeding out whichever MRD officers were selling deadly technology?

"I'm sorry to say you were misled. The MRD doesn't know much of anything about those weapons, and even less about the bomb. Their methods are strictly non-lethal. The bomb and the guns came from SHIELD."

Julia's eyes widened, and she felt her lips pull into a frown. "And you're telling me this why?"

"When I say they come from us, I mean they were stolen."

"It's possible to steal from SHIELD?"

"Apparently so. I can promise you that we're tightening security, and it won't be happening again."

"Okay, sure. That's really none of my concern though. What the hell does any of this have to do with me?"

"The one who did the stealing was a SHIELD agent. Ex-Agent now, naturally. We need someone to go after him."

Understanding clicked in Julia's brain, and she didn't think she was going to like where this conversation went next.

"You have an obvious connection to this little...problem of ours, and-"

"And SHIELD doesn't want to be seen hunting down one of its own. You want me to clean up your mess, is that it? Forget it." She shook her head firmly. "I'm not going to play assassin for you, and I'm sure as hell not going to take a fall for you people. Besides, in case you haven't noticed, I'm kinda locked up. Like I seriously need another crime to add to the reasons I'm in this hell-hole."

"That's our half of the deal." Fury gave her what she assumed was supposed to be a winning smile; it came off more as a sneer.

"Beg pardon?"

"There's a little more gray area around homicide when you're killing murderers. We're willing to look into that gray area, and we're willing to convince the MRD that they should too, especially as it applies to your case. And we don't necessarily want him dead, we just want him John Doe. Do that paralysis thing you did on Telmond. We just want to make sure he ends up in a little out-of-the-way place with no ability to ID himself."

"And what about dental records or DNA or-"

"Already being taken care of. He'll be a ghost."

Julia felt her eyes narrow, really not liking the idea of being a part of this much espionage. "And you expect me to just take your word on all this?"

"No. I didn't think you would." Fury smirked and turned to look over his shoulder. "Hill, bring me the papers."

A woman, presumably the one Julia had been hearing earlier, stepped into the cell as well carrying a stack of paper easily hundreds of pages thick. She handed them off to Fury, and then took up a guard stance in the corner of the cell.

"This Document fully exonerates you of everything you've done since Boston, declaring you an unofficial agent of SHIELD, and implying that every action you've taken has been fully sanctioned and under my direct orders. All it needs is my signature. Feel free to flip through it." He handed the heavy stack of papers off to Julia, who did just that. It was pretty dense, and she didn't really have time to read the whole thing, but it seemed pretty legit.

"And why exactly are you offering all this to me? Why not use some super-secret SHIELD thing to take care of him? Why not just let regular police arrest him or something?"

"We're offering this to you because we don't want this to get messy, Miss- Eclipse. SHIELD doesn't like to get its hands dirty, and if word of this gets out -any word- we lose a lot of face with our backers and with Governments who work with us. SHIELD is the most powerful agency on the planet, we can't afford even one loose thread like this. And because you managed to stop the same type of bomb once before. We may need you to do so once again."

"Ah, so I also get to be your human shield then? Lovely. I'm assuming that should things go bad you can probably manage to pin it all on me, and should they go well, you have my silence bought and paid for. Is that about right?"

Fury just shrugged, and gave a very obvious look around the tiny cell. "How much do you really think you have to lose Eclipse?"

Julia crossed her arms, giving Fury a silently appraising look. That was a valid point. The worst that could happen was she could end up back in here. Still, what good was it to get involved in SHIELD's business? It seemed more like that would only somehow screw her over in the long run. That, and the phrase "two wrongs don't make a right" was continually floating through her head. If she went through with this, wouldn't she just be committing another crime? So what if it was going to Okay-ed by mister high-and-mighty Nick Fury first? Not to mention she would only end up being under SHIELD's thumb if she agreed, and that thought appealed to her not a bit.

She did want to get this guy though. One less mutant-hater with bombs couldn't be a bad thing, the circumstances simply made her a little uneasy. And maybe if the Purifiers didn't have the guy who was selling the technology, it would be easier to put a complete stop to it. Would it be an equal trade-off? She glanced at Fury again, and a thought occurred to her. If SHIELD could keep the MRD off of her -someone who had already been captured- then it should be a simple task for them to do so elsewhere.

"If I said I agreed to go along with this under one condition, would you listen to my request?" Julia questioned, meeting Fury's good eye evenly with her own.

Hill piped up from the corner. "You're in no position to be making demands-"

A raised hand from Fury had her silenced again in a second. "I believe she said a request Hill, not a demand." Hill nodded silently, seeming embarrassed by her outburst, and Fury turned back to Julia. "Alright, let's hear it."

"Someone else got involved in Los Angeles. You probably know him as Nightcrawler, Kurt Wagner."

"Yes, I am aware of Mister Wagner's interference."

"Make the MRD forget about him. If you can do that I don't care whether I get out of this place or not, I'll go after this guy for you."

Fury's eyebrow raised at her words. "Is that so?"

Julia felt her teeth grit when his tone was more-or-less skeptical. "Yeah. I wasn't exactly wrongfully accused or anything, but Kurt- Nightcrawler, hasn't done anything wrong. He's my...friend, and he was only trying to help me, he didn't realize what he was getting into. I want the MRD to stay away from him. Forever."

"Forever? Well, that would take quite a bit of work..."

"But you can do it, can't you?"

"Of course we can."

"So make it happen. That's the only thing I'll ask of you."

Fury watched her for another second or two, and then he shook his head with a little smile. "I can't say I understand why, but if that's what you want in exchange for helping us out, then I suppose we have to give it to you. Consider it done. Nightcrawler will be off the MRD's wanted list by tomorrow morning, and I can promise you they won't be asking any questions. In the mean time, come along with us. We need to get you suited up." Fury rose from the chair and started to the door, stopping suddenly, apparently waiting for Julia to follow.

"Suited up...?" Julia questioned, getting up from her bed as well, but suddenly unsure of simply walking out of here, even if it was with the Director of SHIELD.

"Unless you _want _to wear your prison scrubs? We're aware of your special clothing needs, we have some equipment you should be able to wear."

"Er...alright..."


	26. Chapter 26

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Well, for how much effort this one took, the finished product isn't very long. :/ Bear with me, as I spend way, way too much time trying to smooth out my fight scenes. :) Sometimes they get really crazy and I have to pull myself back out of fantasy land where physics don't apply. Anywho, this is getting rather close to the end of the line for The Gaze and the Glance, I think I've got ideas for one or two more chapters, and then maybe I'll start looking into the sequel, which will, I think, be shorter. Much shorter. It's been quite a ride, but this is almost too long. So much has happened since chapter one and Kurt falling through tables. :) Oh, and I should mention that I finally uncovered where I got the term "The Gaze and the Glance," it's from an article I read (by the same name) by a lady named Kathleen O'Gorman. It's a critical analysis of a play called "Not I" by Samuel Beckett. Interesting stuff about view points and the gazer vs the looked upon, etc. Kinda fitting. Also please forgive me for another generic terrorist bad guy. I suppose I feel the need to make them unsympathetic to readers. :) Anyway, before I chat your eyes out further, please enjoy the new chapter. :)_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 26<strong>

Eclipse realized, quickly, that this was going to be nothing like working with the X-Men or the Brotherhood had been. These people were strictly business, all the time. This was little more than a run-of-the-mill mission for them, they didn't have anything more than a paycheck riding on it. They were all calm, collected, and they all regarded her with the same look of contempt. As far as the SHIELD agents were concerned, she was nothing more than a civilian they were being forced to take along; never mind that she had mutant powers and had been part of one of the best-known super hero groups out there. To them, she was still just a liability.

So, Eclipse kept to herself in the transport bus, keeping her eyes down and her fingers laced, and tried to get comfortable in the bodysuit she was wearing. Plain, black, and completely covering everything but her head and neck, it felt very confining, though she imagined it was simply so she would blend into the dark a little better. She missed her X-Men suit; of all the costumes she had worn so far it had definitely been the most comfortable, and had worked the best with her powers. She was suddenly aware of booted feet entering her line of vision, which meant whoever the feet belonged to was standing directly in front of her. And they were awfully small to be one of the soldier's feet.

She glanced up and met green eyes and red hair; the female team-leader of this special little Op.

"They tell me you're a mutant." Her voice was accented with Russian as she nodded her head toward the others that formed the team.

"Yes. I am. Is it going to be a problem?" Eclipse answered, sarcasm tinging her voice. _You'd think they could put aside their discrimination for twenty flipping minutes-_

"No, not a problem. I was simply curious." She shook her head. "Although, they also told me you were with Magneto before."

"Sort of. It's a long story. Don't worry though, I promise I don't plan to turn on you and exterminate all humans or anything like that."

The red-head tilted her head slightly at Eclipse, as though trying to measure her up. "But you once betrayed the X-Men."

Eclipse felt her eyes narrow into a glare. "Don't you think 'betrayed' is a little harsh? I never betrayed them, I just stopped following the path of least resistance. I threw a Purifier off a roof, not one of the X-Men, okay?"

"Okay." She nodded simply. Then added: "Sometimes morals have to be sacrificed in order to truly make a difference. In order to accomplish something. We are alike, you and I."

"Lady, I don't even know you. And I know I can't trust anyone in SHIELD, so skip the making friends phase please."

"If you know you can't trust us, why are you here?" She tilted her head at Eclipse, as though somehow amused by her surly attitude.

"Because Purifiers are bad enough without bombs to help them kill people. And because it's not like I can get into any deeper shit than I was already in."

"Desperate," The red-head said simply.

"Maybe." Eclipse shrugged, though she honestly didn't feel too desperate. She felt more like she didn't care about much of anything beyond securing Kurt's protection. Which, if Fury had kept his word, should already be done. "What about you? Why are you on this particular mission? Unless I miss my guess, you're the infamous Black Widow. Isn't this sort of thing beneath you?"

The woman's perfect lips curved into a smirk. "I see my anonymity is starting to fade. But no. It isn't beneath me. I'm here to deal with you, should you decide to go back on your end of the agreement."

"Deal with me?"

"Yes. If necessary, I will eliminate you." She said it so candidly and confidently, Eclipse didn't doubt she would be able to, somehow, should the need arise.

"The bargain wasn't for me. I'm just here to finish what I started, so as long as you don't interfere with that I won't be a problem."

"Heh. I think I may be beginning to like you."

Black Widow left her, and started back toward the driver's end of the van, asking about the ETA. Three minutes. Eclipse shifted forms, much to the discomfort of the man in the seat next to her. It made her smile just the smallest bit.

* * *

><p>The rogue SHIELD agent, for Eclipse had never been told their name, was holed up in a rather new office building in a suburby part of Los Angeles. It had been rented out under a false name, but SHIELD had easily been able to track the bomb sales back here. Made her wonder just how often her own privacy was invaded by the super-FBI, which in turn made her wonder whether America would start feeling like <em>1984 <em>someday.

The SHIELD team was mostly just there for a combination of guard duty and as a back-up plan should Eclipse fail or become a threat rather than an ally; they weren't even going into the building at first. Once she was in, Eclipse would be nearly on her own other than Black Widow reading the building schematics to her and guiding her over the radio. SHIELD didn't want to risk any of its own being exposed to too much radiation, should the situation escalate, and none of them really doubted it would. As soon as the rogue realized what was happening, they would also realize they were cornered, and Eclipse knew that then they would likely do something desperate. Not good when there were bombs involved, which she supposed was why Nick Fury had sprung her out of jail to recruit her in the first place.

So while they set up their perimeter, Eclipse was warping her way around the back door, after wedging her ear-piece through the mail slot. The building itself was only five floors, but Black Widow had asked Eclipse to take a tour through the building and get an idea of what kind of inventory they would be dealing with.

The first two rooms she poked her head into were empty of anything unusual; there were some cubicles, some desks, and boxes of office supplies.

"Anything on the bottom level?" Black Widow's voice questioned in her ear.

"Nothing. No traces of radiation that I can feel either."

"...You didn't mention you could do that."

"Well, nobody asked. I kinda assumed SHIELD had that in my file or whatever." Eclipse shrugged, though she knew her guide couldn't see it. "I mean, you knew pretty much everything else about me."

"We don't keep active files on _everyone_. Only those that may pose a threat to us."

"Right. Well, now you know. I'm heading to the basement."

In response, Black Widow muttered something in Russian that sounded a little impolite.

Eclipse chose the basement next for two reasons. One, people usually hid things in the basement in her experiences. Two, she didn't want to get up to the top floors and realize the rogue had slipped past her while she was unable to hear them on the upper floors. In the small, concrete room at the bottom of the stairs, she found some equipment that may have been used to build some of the radiation-based weapons, she could feel little lingering traces of radioactive material when she passed her fingers over the tools and boxes, but nothing that was actually dangerous. There were also signs that someone had packed up in a hurry, the basement seeming cluttered, boxes overturned and papers scattered about in a hectic fashion. Had they known SHIELD had caught on? Did they know someone was in the building already?

Could be bad news either way.

"Eclipse, we've got movement on floor three, get up there!" Black Widow's voice burst into the silence of the basement.

She huffed a sigh as the volume made her wince slightly, but Eclipse had already started toward the stairs at a sprint as she replied with a semi-serious: "Yes ma'am."

The stairs were narrow, barely enough room for one person, which made Eclipse think that warping up them probably would have been prudent. There was no space for her to maneuver if the agent realized she was coming and decided to try and stop her. Falling two flights would hurt, even in her energy form, and she didn't want to risk the structural integrity of her transformation and be forced into human form, or to break apart, before she knew whether there was a bomb lingering around the building somewhere. She started to charge her body, but as she had feared, another form came hurtling at her from the floor above, driving a shoulder into Eclipse's mid-section and throwing both of them back down approximately five stairs, it probably would have been more if Eclipse hadn't warped out of the other person's grip, out onto the flat surface of the second floor.

Eclipse landed on her feet, and was surprised to see the agent had as well. He was tall, but was slender in build, and his face was delicate, almost feminine, wearing a suit that was rather like Eclipse's own. His blue eyes narrowed in a sneer.

"They didn't even send SHIELD agents? Guess they don't want me all that bad."

"Sorry to disappoint."

The auburn haired man tilted his head slightly, as though only just now noticing Eclipse wasn't quite normal-looking. "One of Fury's super-freak pets? Pfft. Should have known."

Eclipse frowned, liking this guy less and less the more he spoke. "Look, much as I love the standard witty banter and all that, I'm just here to put a stop to this arms-selling business of yours." Eclipse's fingers began to morph into their talon-like claws, to which her opponent only smirked.

"Give it your best shot, _freak_." The word was laced with emphasis, he was trying to play mind-games, and Eclipse wasn't about to let him. She warped toward the ex-agent, arm pulled back and prepared to strike, but with lightning-fast reflexes, the ex-agent caught a hold of her the minute she solidified, judo-flipping her back to the ground.

For a vague moment while she was staring at the ceiling, Eclipse wondered if all SHIELD agents were this well-trained, but realized it was unimportant as she scrambled up to avoid being hit across the face with the guy's boot. She had never been grabbed immediately after a matter-displacement that way, usually they were too stunned by the instantaneous movement to even react to her attack. Clearly, Eclipse didn't have nearly as much an advantage as she had thought coming into this fight. She didn't have the training the SHIELD agent did, nor likely the experience, and as she had just seen, her mutant powers weren't going to be nearly as effective.

"Still there?" Eclipse suddenly realized Black Widow had been talking to her through the ear-piece for the last several seconds. "What have you found?"

"Got my hands full at the moment," Eclipse grunted, her momentary distraction earning her an open palm hit in the chin, snapping her head back in such a way that she imagined it had been meant to break a few vertebrae. Fortunately, plasma didn't break the way bones did, and this seemed to frustrate her opponent, who had backed off, likely evaluating his next approach.

"Do you need assistance? Agent Lance was black ops for SHIELD-"

"Okay, see, it would have been nice to know the black ops bit before I got here!" Eclipse practically snarled, not bothering with her powers at first this time and running at Lance, or so she assumed she could call the ex-agent, and managed to surprise him by warping behind him at the last second. He still ducked under Eclipse's claws, the attack only grazing his head, and caught Eclipse in the ribs with the heel of his foot, sending the mutant stumbling back again. This dude was seriously crazy good, and Eclipse was getting her ass handed to her.

If she had known she was going to be throwing down with one of SHIELD's elite, she probably would have told Nick Fury to shove it someplace inappropriate. Black Widow was chatting in her ear, and with an impatient flick of her head, Eclipse pulled the ear-piece out. This was no time for distractions, even if it was advice from another elite assassin. She dropped the tiny radio to the floor and tried to focus, tried to remember all the things Logan had taught her throughout the time she had been with the X-Men. It wasn't going to be kung-fu, or anything close, but sometimes it came down to fighting dirty in order to come out on top, not matching your opponents skill levels. If she could win once in awhile against Wolverine, she hoped that meant she could pull out a win now; she just needed to concentrate, think, wait for ex-agent Lance to show any sort of advantage she could exploit, no matter how small.

One of the things Logan had always been adamant about hammering into her was not to rely on her warping. Believing that she would always be able to dodge an attack made her sloppy, made her forget what it was like to get hurt once in awhile. He had always, always given her hell and knocked her on her ass when she telegraphed a warp, and she knew that she had probably been lackadaisical, thinking she was only going to be fighting a regular human.

If her demeanor changed, Lance didn't show any sign of noticing it. He was watching Eclipse with hard eyes, likely unsure of how to kill her. Eclipse didn't take the initiative this time, she waited for Lance to advance on her. She needed to get in close, and it was easier for her not to telegraph in a static, defensive position.

Lance lunged at her suddenly, and Eclipse tensed the way she would before warping, and it seemed she was believable. Lance obviously expected another warp, and feinted to the left without actually taking a swing at Eclipse, this was her chance, he was within arm's reach now; Lance had expected Eclipse to fall for the feint, but he had fallen for hers. Her hand shot out with unnatural speed -a partial-warp of only her arm to ensure that she caught him- clasping around his throat, nearly taking him off his feet from his own momentum. She jerked with all her might, and slammed the ex-agent backwards into the ground, Lance's foot sweeping up towards her head with surprising speed -considering Eclipse was fairly certain she had knocked the wind out of him- and she instinctively raised her arm to block the blow before it connected with her head.

She was surprised, however, to hear Lance groan in an almost panicked way. "Wh- What the hell? What did you do?" Lance was up on his feet in a flash, but his right leg was dragging awkwardly behind him, and for a moment Eclipse was unsure as to why. When she glanced to her own side, she was rather shocked to find that her claws had evidently transferred; she had a six inch spike of ebony energy protruding from her elbow, which she appeared to have made without any conscious effort.

She had never done that before. And she had certainly never done such a thing without concentrating on it before; her mutation had always been primarily defensive, using the energy offensively had always required Eclipse to exert her will. Had the MRD's power dampeners somehow lessened her control over her powers? Or had it somehow, like the stress of absorbing radiation for the first time, awakened some new potential?

Or had she simply been getting her butt kicked so hard her subconscious had kicked into some kind of survival mode?

She would worry about it later. Right now, she planned to press the momentary advantage the elbow-spike had given her, feeling that the difference in skill mattered less now that Lance was limping. Lance was too preoccupied with his seemingly useless leg to notice that Eclipse had approached -none too stealthily at that- until the mutant slammed her fist into the back of his skull, aiming for the base of his neck; the auburn-haired man crumpled, but as though he was too proud to truly fall, he caught himself so that he was kneeling on his good leg.

Eclipse circled around, and crouched so that she was level with Lance's face again. "Tell me why."

"Why what, mutie?" He practically spat in response, and his face said that he was struggling against the numbness caused by the blow of negative energy to his spinal cord.

Eclipse tried to refrain from clawing him in the face, though it was a powerful urge. She set her jaw firmly, and reigned her temper back in. "Why you stole the bomb from SHIELD. Why you sold it to the Purifiers."

"I'm not telling you shit," He spat the words. Frowning again, Eclipse slowly, deliberately, poked a talon of dark energy into Lance's good knee. He screamed, though, as was usually the case, it was more in imagined pain than real agony. People thought it should hurt when they were stabbed that way, but Eclipse knew that the nerves died before they felt much of anything. Mind over matter and all that.

Lance seemed to scream until he ran out of breath, collapsing to the floor -as neither of his legs worked anymore- and panting. His arms flailed about, pulling him towards the stairs in a desperate fashion.

"If you're going for a bomb remote or something, you should know it won't kill me, I can just absorb it. Why do you think Fury sent me after you in the first place?" Lance appeared to ignore her, and Eclipse grew frustrated. "All I want is an answer damnit! This isn't about SHIELD, I honestly don't give a shit what they do to you now. Why do you hate mutants so much?"

Lance snorted derisively in response, which only served to make Eclipse angrier.

"Typical mutie," Lance said, his voice laced with bitter mirth, "-always thinking you're the victim. You think I did all this just to kill a few mutants? Please. You little gene-freaks are only part of the problem, I didn't just sell them to the Purifiers. I sold bombs to Al Queda, to the white supremacists down south, to the wannabe crusaders, hell, even to a couple of mutant advocate groups, so don't get too high-and-mighty about the Purifiers."

Eclipse felt a swirl of confusion and disgust, which in turn mixed with something else, something that curled in her gut like an angry snake, such a powerful emotion that it was practically physical pain. But she couldn't label it to save her life; she just knew that she couldn't wrap her mind around just who in the world Lance was trying to hurt. "But why?"

"Because humanity is sick. It's a disease. Might as well kill 'em all off at once instead of doing it a little at a time, group by group the way we do now. I'm just helping along the natural progression. Humans love to kill each other, we do it all the time."

"So that's it? You just want to watch everyone die? Every single person on the planet?" Eclipse's voice was quiet, and she didn't know why.

Lance just scoffed. "Too much for your delicate sensibilities freak-girl? Still trying to play superhero, is that it? Give it a few years, you'll outgrow that naivete of yours eventually."

"Naivete?" The painful emotion was quickly replaced with anger. "What could you have possibly suffered that mutants don't go through on a daily basis, huh? Don't you dare make it sound like I don't know how ugly humans can be. Even if I didn't, I'm starting to get an idea."

Again, infuriatingly, Lance only chuckled at her, rolling himself onto his elbow to sneer at her again. "At least I had the courage to try and destroy the ugly. And I'm not the one head-hunting for SHIELD, am I?"

"Some things in this world are still worthwhile. Still beautiful. I happen to know at least one person I want to save."

The last thing Lance felt -the last thing he would ever feel- was the ice-cold shock of Eclipse's energy blades tearing through his synapses, plunging him into a dark, cold void.

* * *

><p>When they had lost radio contact with Eclipse, the SHIELD agents and Black Widow had given her the benefit of the doubt and waited. Five minutes crawled by, they could catch snippets of movement in the shadows on the second floor, but not enough to merit charging in. Ten minutes later, a scream was heard, even outside where they were posted, and Black Widow began to try and reach their mutant operative once again. At fifteen minutes, she gave the order to enter.<p>

They found Eclipse leaning against a desk with her arms and ankles crossed, staring down at another person in a SHIELD uniform, who was twitching like they were in immense pain. Her hair swirled around her head slowly in a steady pattern, almost like a water current, as though it was interpreting the thoughtful expression on her face.

"Is he dead?"

Eclipse glanced up as though only just then noticing the others in the room. The movement of her hair changed, looking more like smoke that simply drifted with the motion of her head. Black Widow honestly found that particular feature wholly unnerving; something about the way her hair defied most laws of physics irked the super-spy.

"Death would have been too easy for him." The mutant answered. Black Widow frowned slightly, unsure of what the exact implications of the sentence were, but didn't make an observation aloud. She merely began to direct the clean-up; sweeping the building for any remaining bombs, evidence as to where they went, and, naturally, getting rid of any traces of Lance left in the building. Eclipse watched all this with an almost bored disinterest.

"There aren't any more bombs here," She stated, Black Widow turning toward her, "-no more radiation. Or at least, none with a source, it's residual. He sold them all. And probably the plans too." This was acknowledged with a nod, and silence passed between the two women for a moment. Then, Eclipse spoke once again. "Did you know him?"

"Who?"

"Lance. Did you know him at all?"

"He was...on my team. For special missions."

"What kind of special?"

"SHIELD must occasionally intervene in conflicts to prevent their spreading. Mutant/human confrontations, civil wars, coups in allied countries-"

"The dirty work," Eclipse muttered. "No wonder."

* * *

><p>Back in her flesh-and-blood form, Julia followed the SHIELD agents out of the building, the pair behind her towing Lance on a gurney. She didn't know what they were going to do with him now, and she thought that maybe it was better she didn't know. She might start to feel bad for him if she did. She didn't want to.<p>

"So what's next? Are you taking me back to the MRD?" She questioned Black Widow instead.

"No. My orders are to transport you to a location of your choosing. Within the US of course." Black Widow shook her head.

"What? But-"

"Director Fury's orders. He said to call it compensation for not warning you about Lance's black ops training. Don't worry though, the other half of your deal went through as well."

"And why is SHIELD doing me so many favors?"

"Because you saved us a great deal of trouble."

_Hmph. I'm sure. No doubt a year or two from now I'll have SHIELD operatives showing up on my doorstep reminding me that I owe them said favor. _Julia thought bitterly. She was tempted to tell Black Widow to screw her part of the deal and to take her back to the MRD; that was starting to seem like it would be better for her in the long run. She had only wanted to try and redeem herself a little anyway, insofar as Kurt was concerned. She had gotten him into the mess she had created, and she had tried to get him back out. Now she was beginning to wonder if she hadn't just dug a deeper hole. Still, she supposed for now at least, she would go along with Fury. She wasn't under the impression he was going to give her much choice anyway.

"There was...someone I wanted to talk to."

* * *

><p>Destiny knew Julia would be coming. She supposed she had known since she had revealed her original vision to her. Destiny had seen her, slithering through the spaces in the window like a dark miasma, before finally coming to rest, standing before Destiny, who had been waiting for her.<p>

"Did it change?" Julia was the first to speak.

"Did what change?"

"Your vision. The one where we die. Did it change?"

"Unfortunately, I can't answer that. They don't come at my bidding, they happen when they will."

"You have no clue if anything I did made a difference or not?" Her voice gave the impression of utter despondence. Destiny felt something akin to sympathy for the poor girl. She wanted so desperately to do right by him...

"I wish I could Julia, but I can't. Not right now anyway. There is a chance I'll see a second vision and it will show a different future, but as I'm sure you've guessed, the future is not such a simple thing to command."

"Yeah, so I'm starting to see." There was a sound of shuffling, and Destiny was under the impression that Julia had invited herself into the nearest chair.

"May I ask how you found me?"

"I've kinda...had a run in with SHIELD. They dropped me off here. Don't worry, they aren't after you or anything. I think they just keep your address because you're one of the few people Mystique hasn't tried to kill." There was a quiet exhale from Julia, not quite a sigh, but close. Inwardly, Destiny felt the tiniest modicum of guilt. She had been the one to set Julia on this road, the one so full of painful choices. She had felt obligated to share her vision with Julia, because she too felt an attachment to Kurt; if only because he was Raven's son. True, she hadn't known what would happen if she revealed the future, but she had at least hoped it would allow the pair to take steps against getting killed. She had never imagined what extremes Julia ended up going to.

"What will you do after this?" Destiny questioned.

"Honestly I don't know. I...I really want to see Kurt. I want to go home...but after everything that's happened...I don't know if I have a right to."

"I think you're well aware that Charles is not the sort hold a grudge. If you ask him to return, he'll very likely let you."

"But it's completely unfair of me to ask him for that. After all the trouble I caused..."

"Hm." Was all Destiny said for a moment, her mind wandering. "Will you accept some advice from the woman who set you on this path in the first place?" Destiny questioned.

"At this point, I'm willing to listen to just about any advice."

"As I said, I don't know whether the vision has changed, but I haven't seen it again; that's a good thing. And, considering the sort of lives mutants are forced to live in this world...we run the risk of being killed every time we venture out into the open, every time we are revealed as being what we are. Maybe you should simply...take advantage of what time you have, and try to spend as much of it as possible with the people you love."

"But...you were the one who told me to stay away from Kurt in the first place," Julia's tone was indignant, to say the least.

"I know. At the time it seemed like the most logical choice. But now...I think that it isn't so simple as that. Seems to me that trying to avoid one future only created another that was nearly as bad. And before you ask, no, I don't think it's any better for Kurt."

Julia was silent for a moment. "I just...I just don't want to cause him anymore pain."

"Then you should probably go to him. Let him know you're alright."

There was more shuffling, it seemed Julia was standing up again. "I don't think I can thank you for the first vision. But I can say thanks for the advice. And...sorry about breaking in, but I wasn't sure you would talk to me if I just knocked on your door."

"I understand. But I would recommend you avoid returning any time soon, Raven is on a bit of a vendetta for you."

"Thanks, I think. I'll keep that in mind." Julia's footsteps echoed across the room and down the stairs to the front door, and Destiny could only hope she was going home.

"Best of luck, Julia."


	27. Chapter 27

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Uhm...I got nothin'. :) I'm thinking one more chapter. Maybe an epilogue. We'll see. Read away. :)_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 27<strong>

When Julia had imagined her prodigal return to the Xavier Institute, the mansion had always seemed welcoming in her mind's eye, comforting, homey even. Now, standing alone before the gates, she felt as though she had never seen anything more austere and foreboding.

She stared at the gates, shuffling her duffel bag from one hand to the other. Her brief time working at the bar in town and the spending money she had earned through general clerical tasks in the school hadn't amounted to much of a nest egg, at this point she considered herself lucky that Professor Xavier had decided her work with the X-Men was enough to pay for her room and board. She had had a little money saved up, and most of it had recently been spent on a hotel room while she worked up the courage to face the X-Men again. What she hadn't spent on the hotel she had spent on some decent-looking 'civvies' as they called street clothes. The suit SHIELD had lent her was wadded up in the very bottom of the duffel, where she tried to forget about it. It had crossed her mind to throw the suit out, but she hadn't been able to; just in case she had run across some event that required the use of her powers. Call it paranoia.

Her hand reached tentatively toward the key-pad next to the gate, but she drew it back quickly. What if the code had changed? What if she set off an alarm and they all assumed she had come to attack them and ran out and retaliated without asking questions? What if the security system disintegrated her? Julia shook her head, and realized, at best, she was making excuses. She reached more determinedly for the keys, and managed to hit a number, but realized, for some reason, that her hand was shaking and she had ended up hitting the wrong digit.

"Shit," Was all Julia said for a long moment, and then abruptly turned on her heel and started back toward Salem Center. She clearly wasn't ready. Not yet. She didn't know when -or if- she ever would be ready. But it wasn't now, that was for sure.

The walk back to town wasn't really pleasant, Julia's mind simply churning with mixed emotions; she didn't realize her feet had carried her to The Long Walk bar until she looked up and read the emerald neon a few inches from her face. _Maybe Violet...? _Her thoughts trailed off. What advice could her old boss/friend offer? The last time Julia had seen her, she had been teleported out of the bar mid-shift to go to Boston and try to avert a nuclear crisis. Still, she felt less terrified of trying to make her case to Violet than she did the X-Men, maybe it would help to run it by her first.

With that in mind, Julia pulled the door open and stepped inside the familiar, smokey room. Violet glanced up at her, back down at the shot she was pouring, and then did a double take, slamming the bottle of José Cuervo down so hard tequila burst from the top, making a mess of the bar.

"What the hell! Julia?"

"Er...hi." Julia raised her hand awkwardly. Without another word, Violet chased the two patrons of the bar out impatiently, and Julia had little doubt she was doing her empath thing and scaring the shit out them to make sure they left quickly and didn't come back. Violet turned the neon off and locked the door, and then stalked back to Julia, punching her -rather hard- in the arm.

"You scared the shit outta me Jules! I thought you were dead or something! No one bothered to drop by and explain where the fuck you went!"

"Yeah...sorry Violet. It's kind of a long story. Want to hear it?"

"Hell yes I do. Start with the whole "Kurt being a mutant" thing you never explained." Violet strode over to the bar and finished pouring her shot, which she then drank. She offered one to Julia who politely declined, taking a seat at the bar. Violet still insisted on pouring her a beer, which Julia was more inclined to take.

"Well...truth be told, we're part of the X-Men. Or, I was. He still is, I'm not anymore. You know who the X-Men are, right?"

"Pretty sure everyone does," Violet replied, looking a little befuddled. "So...you worked here why? Being a super hero was too boring or something?"

"No...it was more like...I wanted some normal in my life. A normal job. I couldn't do the X-Men thing 24/7, I was starting to get really cranky. I needed some normal things in my life to balance it out."

"Cranky?"

Julia shuffled the beer in her hands absently, looking at the tiny bubbles on top slowly dissipate rather than Violet. "I was having a lot of trouble dealing with...normal people. The way they treated us. And especially the way they treated Kurt."

"Why?"

"The way you saw him...he doesn't usually look like that. He's usually more...blue. And devilish. And he has a tail."

"Ah. And I'm guessing people have a hard time with that one?"

"Right. So I was having some...anger management issues. And some Purifier hurt Kurt, badly, and I threw the guy off a roof in Boston-"

"That was you?" Violet looked slightly aghast now. Julia nodded, not quite ashamed, but knowing that Violet's opinion of her was probably about to change drastically. "Hell...I thought it looked kinda like you...but I guess I didn't want to believe it."

"I know how it looked. But he was trying to blow up Boston. People like that don't just stop. I did something desperate. And some worse things."

"But now you're back." The statement was more a question, Violet raising an eyebrow.

"It's strange I know. But I'm not the lam or anything. It's...it's complicated, I don't know how to explain it. I redeemed myself as far as the powers that be are concerned, but I didn't really...I think I only made it worse."

"What did you do?"

"They told me I couldn't discuss it with anyone but Professor Xavier, and I'm not even allowed to give him full details...you just have to take my word that talking to me won't have the government busting your door down."

"That wasn't really what I was concerned about." Violet pulled a cigarette from her jeans pocket, placing it in her mouth but chewed on it thoughtfully rather than lighting it. "You damn well better tell me you're not some government assassin, or so help me, I'll kick yer ass so damn hard even your fancy mutation won't take the pain away."

"I'm not an assassin. But I helped them. Helped them take down a...well, I suppose you could call him a terrorist."

For a long moment, Violet stared at Julia, and she was unable to tell if her friend believed a word she had said. After a moment, the bar-tender sighed. "Jesus Christ Jules, you're as bad as a TV action movie, you know that? Runnin' off to track down terrorists and redeem yourself, I swear I've seen Kevin Sorbo do the same damn thing."

"Uh...who's Kevin Sorbo?"

"Look up your B-movies kid. So, if you're here, are you back with the X-Men or whatever?"

"Uhm...no. I haven't talked to...any of them yet. Not even Kurt."

Now, Violet looked straight-up indignant. "And why the hell not?"

"Because...I'm a chickenshit? I dunno. The idea of trying to explain myself to them scares the hell out of me. I guess I'm just afraid they'll...I dunno, abandon me or something. They were like family, and I ran away and basically just tossed everything they taught me out the window. They'd have every right to tell me to go away and never speak to me again..."

"But like you said, they're like family. Working through the rough patches is what makes family a family in the first place. You gotta at least try to work it out with them Jules. And if they do kick ya out again, I've got a spare room above the bar I've been trying to rent out for weeks. Consider it yours if you're willing to work your ass off in here again."

"You'd...let me stay with you?"

"Of course. We freaks have gotta stick together honey, it's what makes us strong."

"Violet, you're the best." An overwhelming rush of gratitude had Julia leaning over the bar to hug her friend. Which Violet tolerated for all of three seconds before she pushed her off again. It didn't make Julia's smile any less bright.

* * *

><p>Here she was again. This time, Julia felt braver, and her hand didn't shake when she hit the number sequence to open the gate. Still, underneath all the brave facade she put forward, she was nervous.<p>

She stepped through the gate, and Logan strode out of the main door, halting in the drive and stood, waiting, with his arms crossed. Of course, he would have known she was coming. Xavier couldn't pick her up telepathically, but Logan had likely smelled her the moment she set foot in Salem Center again. For a moment, he really and truly felt like the surrogate father-figure -a role Julia hardly realized she had cast him in- and she felt exactly like a teenager caught sneaking in at two in the morning. She came to a halt directly in front of Logan, and hesitated, unsure of what to say.

"So yer back."

"Yeah. Sort of. I only want to talk. That's all. I want to see Kurt."

"Oh really? And what if he doesn't want to see you?"

Julia balked, taken aback. That hadn't occurred to her. What if he didn't?

What if he didn't want to see her?

She couldn't blame him, but it was a thought that made her ache inside. The stronger part of her rallied against the idea.

"Well, if that's the case, I'd rather hear it from Kurt directly. If that that's alright with you of course." The last phrase was laced with more sarcasm than anything else.

"That part yer gonna have to take up with Chuck, darlin'. In the meantime, why don't ya tell me how in the hell you got yer ass outta jail."

"SHIELD."

"SHIELD?" Logan's voice had hit a feral snarl in a matter of seconds. "You got SHIELD involved in this?" He stalked closer to her, looking as though he was one more word away from grabbing her and shaking her.

"They involved themselves. I did them a favor and they did me one. That's all."

"And you think _that _earns you a place here? Dammit Jules, do ya even know what SHIELD is like?"

"Yeah, I think I do," Julia shot back, her volume almost matching his. She may have started thinking about Logan in a fatherly manner, but she detested being spoken to like a child. Students were wandering out of the mansion, drawn by the noise. From the corner of her eye, she could see Rogue and Jean in one of the doors, Scott behind them. They didn't interfere. "I know it wasn't redemption, I know it wasn't forgiveness. And I know damn well helping SHIELD doesn't make up for anything I did. I have to do that on my own, no one can hand me a paper and say I didn't kill anyone and make it the truth. I know that's not how it works Logan, but it wasn't just about me. I had my reasons for doing what I did."

"And just what in the hell didja do for 'em anyway? What did you get in to?"

"I...I can't tell you. I just can't. You'll have to trust my judgment. You used to, remember? Back before you all decided I was a bad guy?"

"You killed someone for those bastards, didn't you? Nick Fury talked ya into killin' someone, didn't he?" This time Logan did grab her, his fingers digging into her shoulder through her jacket and shirt, shaking her slightly. "Who the hell didja kill now?"

"Who are you to talk about killing?" Julia's patience found it's limit, and she was now officially just yelling back at Logan. At this point she wasn't even sure she would care if he tried to throw her out without letting her see Kurt. So many other mutants had come to Xavier to try and find a purpose or redemption, Logan included, and yet they all seemed to have something against her choices. Why didn't she deserve a chance to defend herself? "How many people have you killed? Sometimes there's no other way, you should know that better than any of us! I thought you of all people would understand! Don't talk to me about how the X-Men don't kill when you've taken that way out more times than anyone else in the damn school!"

Logan's face contorted into something somewhere between rage and sorrow. Somewhere between regret and understanding. "You really wanna turn out like me Jules? Do ya really? I'm walkin' a damn thin line between human and monster, kid." His voice was still more a growl than anything, but it was softer now. "You don't wanna be like me."

"There are worse things I could be," Julia said, her voice firm. She was thinking of Lance. Logan could still see the small things, the things that mattered. He was gruff, he had a nasty temper, sometimes he acted more like an animal than a man, but he wasn't a monster. He took the kids on camping trips, he went to Marcy's music recitals and clapped the loudest when they ended, he stood up for people who were too scared, he was the closest thing to 'dad' she knew when she had never felt what having a father was like, and he loved Jean more than anything but had stepped back because he thought Scott could make her happier. Someone like Lance was a monster. Someone who only wanted to destroy.

For a long moment, Logan silently stared at her, and she couldn't read his expression. Then, without much else, he released her shoulder and scratched his head instead. "Aw hell. Sometimes I wonder why I bother trying to argue with any o' the women in this joint. I _never _flamin' win."

Julia tried to smile, but was also terribly tempted to slap him as she rubbed her shoulder, knowing full well she was going to have a bruise in a few hours. She caught movement from the corner of her eye, and turned just in time to catch the full momentum of Marcy's running hug. It would have taken Julia off her feet if it weren't for the fact she had a good half-a-foot and sixty or so pounds on Marcy, and even then she only just managed to catch the smaller woman.

"Julia! You're back! I thought I was never going to see you again, and you were gone so long, and Scott kept saying we couldn't look for you, and Kurt's been holed up in his room since he got back from LA and he won't speak to anyone, and you have to go snap him out of it, you guys were such a cute couple so you can't break up, and you have to talk to him because he's being really depressing, and he's making me cry whenever I try to talk to him, and how did you get here anyway, and is it true you got arrested? And-"

"Marcy. One thing at a time," Julia laughed, unable to remember the last time she had heard Marcy say so many words consecutively. She was usually the quiet one. "I promise I'll try to fix things with Kurt. I'll go talk to him, just so long as he wants to talk to me."

"But...why wouldn't he want to? He's just depressed because he misses you."

"Maybe. I think he might be a little mad at me too. I won't know until I see him, alright? In the mean time, how have you been Mars? Is everything still going okay here?"

"Uh...yeah, I suppose. I mean, other than Kurt being a rain cloud of course. We've had a couple more run-ins with the Purifiers too. They stood outside the gates and protested for like a week, saying the X-Men were murderers and stuff..."

"Oh. That was...probably my fault," Julia said quietly. For how much she had tried to keep the others out of her vendetta, it seemed they had all ended up involved somehow or another. She couldn't imagine how that must have effected the kids.

"Er...anyway," Marcy brightened suddenly, obviously trying to lighten the sour face Julia felt herself making, "-the Professor asked me to bring you to his office. C'mon, the sooner you talk to him the sooner you can go see Kurt." Marcy released Julia from the hug and grabbed her hand instead, gently pulling her along toward the mansion, Logan following a few steps behind.

The students parted like the proverbial Red Sea, some regarding her with awe, some with fear, some with an expression that seemed almost a challenge. She didn't have the education necessary to be a teacher like many of the X-Men, but most of the kids knew who she was, had seen her around the school or trained with her every now and again. But it was clear most of them weren't all that interested in having her back at the school, she didn't see many friendly faces. In their eyes she was either a traitor or a threat.

Marcy towed her all the way to Xavier's office, but at the door stopped and ushered her in. Made sense he would want to talk to Julia alone. Logan had left their little caravan somewhere in the bottom levels of the school, and she wandered into the office all by her lonesome.

"Welcome home Julia." Xavier smiled from behind his desk, gesturing to the familiar couch.

"Hm. Home. That sounds nice." Julia smiled slightly as she took the proffered seat.

"Which begs the question: will you be returning to us Julia?" The Professor questioned, his eyebrow raised. "I understand there are some...conflicts surrounding your release by the MRD."

"Logan filled you in, huh?" She asked, understanding now why Logan had been tagging along. He had probably been passing telepathic information on to Xavier as they walked. "Let's just say I didn't exactly serve my time. I was told by SHIELD I'm allowed to tell you most of what happened. Assuming you want to hear, and assuming, of course, that you'll keep it confidential."

"Only tell me what you feel comfortable doing so," Xavier encouraged gently. "And I can assure you that nothing will leave this room if you do not sanction it first."

Julia nodded, reassured by the Professor's words. "Uhm...well, I didn't kill anyone else. I promise. I didn't want to have an assassination on my conscience. SHIELD found out who was manufacturing the bombs, like the one that was in Boston. And I...I admit I still wanted revenge for that. Those bombs cause so much destruction...and this guy was only going to keep selling them, keep spreading it. So I agreed to help SHIELD. They knew what I had done to Jefferson Telmond, and they wanted me to use the same tactic. They didn't ask me to kill him, they only wanted me to put him out of commission. They would take care of the rest."

"I see." Xavier nodded his head, then was quiet again, apparently waiting for Julia to continue.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, I realize that was still...well, wrong. I know it doesn't bring the other like, thirty people I killed back to life. Nor does it change the fact that I think they deserved as good as they got. Which is why...I'm not asking for my place in the X-Men back. I don't...I don't think I deserve it, or that I'm prepared to get involved in the fight again."

"Why is that?"

Julia looked at her hands, at her thumbs twiddling together. "Because I don't know what I stand for anymore," She admitted quietly. "I thought I believed in the X-Men credo, I thought I believed in everything you taught me. I thought you were right. But then, when push came to shove, I couldn't abide by it. I had a chance to prove you right, to set an example and make a difference, and instead, I went postal on the guy who shot Kurt. I couldn't believe in it when it really mattered. And so I tried to believe in Magneto's ways, I thought maybe they would suit me better, but now I realize I need to find something _I _believe in, something I can fight for. Something I won't turn my back on when things get tough, and, at this point, I can't say whether that's going to be something I can do with the X-Men. I don't know if I'll be able to follow your rules, and I don't want to risk all this happening all over again if I can't. That said, I'm not going to apologize for killing any of those Purifiers, so if you're going to ask me to do that I'll get up and leave right now."

"No. I don't want you to apologize. They were evil men, I can understand why that seemed like the best solution to you, as much as I would wish you had acted another way. This was your path Julia, I can't ask you to change to please me. I don't think you were right in what you did, but I think you're correct when you say you have to find your own beliefs, even if they don't coincide with my own."

"The only thing that worries me about that is where it will end."

"What do you mean?"

"The guy I went after for SHIELD was literally the most monstrous human being I've ever encountered. He hated...everything. And I guess I'm just worried that maybe I...maybe I'll end up like that. What if I just keep hating until there's nothing left in me but that hatred? Maybe then I'll snap, and I'll be a monster like him. It scares me. Logan's right when he says there's a fine line...the people I hurt were some nasty pieces of work, but even then..."

"That, Julia, is why humans depend on one another."

"I...I don't understand."

"If you don't know what's right, perhaps you know someone else who does. If you don't know an answer, perhaps there's someone you can talk it out with. People, friends, keep one another grounded Julia. If you feel that you need help, there is absolutely no shame in turning to others. We want to help you Julia, all of us do. Especially Kurt."

"Speaking of which...do you think I could maybe..talk to him?"

Xavier smiled. "I think he would like nothing more in the world." He gestured toward the door, giving her leave to go as she pleased. "And Julia, I know you don't yet know what you want to do with your freedom, but please remember that you have friends here. The door will always be open to you, whether you're wearing our insignia or not."

"I will. Thank you Professor. It's good to know that. It really is."

* * *

><p>The stairs seemed longer than she remembered.<p>

Julia supposed this might be because she was dragging her feet, she was nervous again. Sure, the Professor may have told her that Kurt wanted to see her, but what would happen when they were face to face? He had plenty of reason to be mad at her.

She only had one more flight of stairs to decide whether she was going to man-up and finish her walk or chicken out and leave the mansion. Marcy's words were echoing in her ears. She couldn't leave him like that. She couldn't even bear the thought.

His door was unlocked, and his room was a mess; a sure sign something was wrong. While Kurt wasn't a clean freak, he had always been neat. Glancing around the room, she saw books out of place, papers scattered across the desk, and what appeared to be a week's worth of dirty dishes in a little pile next to the bed. She gathered also that the bed was where Kurt had taken refuge, a lump was evident on the mattress, and he seemed to be wrapped up like a mummy somewhere under his comforter. Julia's throat ached, she felt a sudden urge to cry. She had never known he would react this way to her leaving. Did she still mean that much to him? Despite everything?

"Go avay." His voice said from under the blankets, having heard her foot steps she supposed. She ignored the demand, crossing the floor to sit on the edge of the bed; Kurt -still under the covers- moving away from her instantly, toward the wall.

"Kurt, sweetheart, haven't I told you that being cooped up all the time like this is unhealthy?" Her voice was soft, almost strained, tears lurking in her throat.

He jolted, and for several seconds, said nothing. "Jyulia?" His tone was utterly disbelieving.

"Yeah. It's me." Blankets began to fly in a flurry, Kurt throwing them all directions as he fought his way out of his self-made cocoon. Golden eyes stared at her under a tangle of tousled blue-black hair, still disbelieving, still not trusting his senses, and then Kurt had grabbed her, wrapping her in his arms with his tail around her waist, her legs splaying over his lap as he pulled her as close to him as he could.

"Jyulia! You're okay! You're okay. You're okay..." The declaration got quieter with each utterance, until he was simply mumbling incoherent German into her hair, his hands running over her back, down her arms, through her hair. Whether he was trying assure himself that she was really there or he was checking to make sure she was indeed okay, Julia couldn't say. She didn't care. Her eyes wanted to cry, but her mouth was alternating between smiling, trying to tell him she loved him, and pressing kisses on his face. "_Was ist mit dir passiert?_"

"I still don't speak German." She laughed a little, and though it came out sounding half like a sob, it felt nice. Cathartic.

"Vhat happened to you? No vone vould tell me..." He leaned back only far enough to look her full in the face, hands suddenly occupied with tracing her cheek bones and lips, stroking her hair away from her face, as though worried he had forgotten what she looked like.

"It's a long story. It can wait a minute." She shook her head, placing her hands over his, her fingers weaving in-between his. Kurt's eyes were blood-shot, which, in all the time she had known him, she had never seen happen before, and they looked more shadowed than usual. He was skinnier than she remembered. The idea that she had caused him so much misery brought a fresh batch of tears to her eyes, and these ones she couldn't hold back. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, and she buried her head against his neck. "God, Kurt, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so goddamn sorry for everything I've put you through. You should hate me. You could hate my freaking guts by now, and I wouldn't blame you at all."

"I don't hate you _liebling_. I vould never hate you," Kurt hushed gently, rubbing her back while she cried. It really just made Julia feel all the worse. Everyone had sent her up here expecting her to cheer him -to pull him out of a slump she had caused in the first place- and instead, she was falling apart and sobbing on his shoulder and he was doing the comforting. Even thinking that couldn't make her stop crying. Part of it was because she was happy, so, so happy to be back at Xavier's, to be home, and part of it was because she felt like she was the worst person in the universe for dragging poor Kurt along with her for a good portion of her rebellious little trip.

"How's your head?" She asked, after several moments of merely spewing her self-depreciating feelings at him. "I didn't want to hit you. I really didn't." Her fingers reached behind his head, half-expecting to find some kind of scar that would forever remind her she had knocked him out with a paper weight, but his fingers caught her wrist and pulled her hand away.

"My head's fine _liebling,_" He assured softly. "I vas only out for a little vhile."

Julia finally found the strength to pull her head off his shoulder, rubbing at her eyes, which were itching horribly from all the crying. "I don't understand why you aren't angry," She continued, thinking that she honestly would have felt better if he was upset with her somehow. The fact that he apparently still cared for her, still loved her, made her feel like she deserved it even less. Really, what had she ever done that was good enough to earn his love? She couldn't seem think of a single thing. All she could think of was that she had left him, gone off on a mission for revenge, and all that had culminated with abandoning him after hitting him with a blunt object.

She was horrible. It almost made her want to start crying again.

In answer to her question, Kurt just shrugged. "I vas never mad at you. I vas upset, I vas angry that you didn't seem to dhink I could help, but I vas never mad at you. Und I vas scared. I thought I vould never see you again. Not in this life anyvay."

"I know...I'm sorry. I'm sorry about everything. I was only trying to do what seemed right...and...Jesus, I don't even know which way is up anymore."

"Up is that vay," Kurt offered helpfully, pointing at the ceiling.

"Like I'm going to trust your judgment, you're upside down half the time." A moment of deadpan silence passed between them, both feeling tense, unsure whether laughter was really appropriate at the time, and then Julia let out a little giggle, immediately followed by Kurt. They laughed together and hugged each other close, Julia's head cuddling against his cheek, feeling Kurt's hands threading through her hair again. He had often told her how much he loved her hair, it was apparently one of his favorites of her features.

"I missed you _liebling. _I missed you so much."

"I missed you too." She murmured, turning her head to kiss his cheek tenderly. "It feels so good to be back."

"Are you...are you back for good?" Kurt questioned, rather tentatively.

"I'm free, if that's what you mean. The MRD released me. But as to being back for good...no. Not really anyway. I'm not coming back to the X-Men. Not right now anyway."

Confusion was evident in his expression when he leaned back to look at her again. "Then vhy-?"

"Mostly I just wanted to see you. And apologize. A lot. I have a lot to be sorry for. But I can't go back to being on the team right now. I don't think I'm equipped to deal with it, there are decisions I need to make first. Things I need to sort out. And I never really served my time for what I did. I may be out...but that isn't justice. I have to come to terms with that, and decide what I need to do. I'm not looking for redemption...but I need to start making the right choices, rather than whatever is the easiest."

"Then...vhere are you going? Are you leaving again, Jyulia?"

"No, not for long anyway, I promise. I was thinking maybe I'd head down to Arizona and visit Nana again for a little while, and after that, Violet has a spare room she offered to let me stay in, and I think I'm going to take her up on it."

Kurt's expression now shifted into one that was perfectly neutral.

"I know I've probably hurt you a lot..." Julia trailed off, and he continued to look at her blankly. Julia was under the impression that he expected her to tell him she was leaving him all over again. Maybe this time for real. And somewhere inside, she was wondering if maybe that was what he wanted now. Love or no, neither of them could deny that she had put him through hell, and she couldn't and wouldn't expect him to bear anymore. "So I...I understand if maybe you want to take a break. Or...maybe you want me to just leave forever and get it over with...I can't really expect you to wait around for me to get my shit together. So..tell me what you want Kurt. Tell me what you want me to do."

Still quiet, Kurt only watched her for a long moment more. Then he set his hands on her hips, gently dislodging her from his lap. "I vant to give you something." He left her sitting in the middle of the bed, and stepped gingerly over the dishes on the floor, looking suddenly embarrassed by the mess, crossing to his desk, where he dug around in the top-most drawer.

Julia merely watched, a little confused, one leg hanging off the edge of the mattress. Kurt approached, and held something very familiar out to her. A black pearl necklace. It could have been a copy, a replacement he had purchased, but something told Julia this one was hers. The one he had given her as a birthday present a life time ago.

"How...how do you keep getting that thing back?"

"Dhis time I broke into the Brotherhood." He reached for her hand, turning the palm up and placing the necklace in it. "I vasn't villing to leave it vith them. It's a happy memory. _Our _memory, so I took it back."

"I..." She trailed off, unsure of what to say, her fingers clutching tightly around the necklace. Kurt's fingers folded over hers.

"I vant you to be happy again Julia. I don't know vhat that means for you anymore though, it's a choice you vill have to make."

"Happy. I feel like I hardly know the meaning of the word now," Julia admitted quietly. Come to think of it, the last time she had been happy, really and truly happy, had been her birthday all those months ago. Ever since then, everything about her life had been one chaotic mess after another, and all she had felt was anger, and on occasion, sadness. What had it been like for Kurt? She looked up at him with her eyes fogging, and she felt new tears trailing down her already tear-stained cheeks. "I want to be with you."

He smiled gently at her. "Then I'll be here vhen you get back."

"But I- and you-" Her words were sticking in her throat, Julia not knowing how to react. "Why?" Her voice finally stammered out.

"Because I want you to come back," He answered simply. "Dhis is a chance to start over, but I can't redeem you. _You _need to decide vhat it vill take to do that, _liebling. _Maybe you von't find it here, I don't know."

Starting over. She hadn't thought of it that way. "If this is a do-over...what happens if I just make the same mistakes all over again?"

Kurt shrugged. "Xavier's is all about second chances Jyulia, but you don't alvays get them. Try learning from your mistakes, rather than vorrying about vhat happened last time. You'll make the right choice."

"You make it sound so easy..." Julia said, sniffling slightly. She was beginning to wonder if she was ever going to stop crying. He smiled again.

"I have faith in you _liebling._" He rested his hands on his shoulders now. "You can make it right. Und I'll be there if you need me."

Julia looped her arms around his middle, the necklace still grasped tightly in her hand, and burrowed her head against his chest. "Sometimes I think you're an angel Kurt."

"You'd be the first."

"Are you really okay with me not staying here?"

"Ja. Just so long as you don't mind me going to Violet's and checking up on you every now and then. I'll get lonely again vithout you."

"I won't mind at all." She spoke into his shirt. "Uhm...can I stay with you tonight?"

"Anytime you vant, _mien lieb._"

The last of Julia's tears seemed to finally be spent, and she felt a content smile forming on her lips. She could do better this time, she knew she could. She would make better decisions, she wouldn't let her anger control her. And somehow, someday, she would pay the debt she still owed, which SHIELD had gotten her out of paying. She may not regret the murders she had committed, not totally at least, but she knew that it put her on a dangerous line between what was right and what was wrong; and she knew she had come dangerously close to crossing that line on occasion. On the bright side, she knew she could do more good out here rather than going into atrophy in a cell somewhere. She just wasn't quite yet sure what that good would be, or how she would do it.

That was the first step to her second chance she supposed.

Even that was going to wait until after she was done hugging Kurt. Which looked like it was going to be awhile yet.


	28. Chapter 28

**The Gaze and the Glance **

_Author's Note: Okay, so...one more and an epilogue, haha. It just wouldn't all fit in this chapter, and I got a couple of different ideas as I was writing it that made this a little longer than I anticipated. You know the drill, keep reading. :)_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 28<strong>

_Right hook...duck...roll...claws...shit! _A particular fast swing from the android opponent -currently wearing a Purifier hologram- nearly knocked Julia off her feet. She swung her arm up into a defensive position, while trying to add more power to her free hand claws, hoping to gain more reach without resorting to a sword-arm, which had far less precision and control.

Instead, however, the arm raised in a defensive position warped -with no permission on her part- into a lethal-looking scythe-like blade, phasing through the arm she had only wanted to block and causing it to fall dead.

"Damnit! End simulation!" Julia shouted, much annoyed at this recent development. Around her, the Danger Room settings died off and she let her arms drop, the Purifier fading away to the generic metal shell that had been underneath. Julia gave her oddly-shaped arm a scathing look, and focused hard on returning it to its normal five-fingered form. Ever since that elbow-spike business in the fight with Lance, she had found the weaponized version of her powers much more...unpredictable? She seemed to always be sprouting spikes of energy in odd places, or, like just now, her form changing at random while she was in the Danger Room.

Julia walked towards the locker room, shifting back into human form as she headed for her pile of clothes near what had once been her locker. Kicking her gym shoes off next to the pile, Julia sat on the bench and opened the bottle of water next to her bag, knowing she wouldn't have the room to herself much longer, as the X-Men were having a training run soon.

This set her thoughts down another path. She was still at odds with most of them, especially Scott. Truthfully, if he had his way, she wouldn't even be allowed on the grounds; he was still very, very upset about the whole mess. As it was, if she ventured anywhere besides the Danger Room -which the Professor had explicitly told him she was allowed to use- or Kurt's room, she often found Scott hovering over her shoulder, as though he was just waiting for her to screw-up so he could kick her out again. It didn't help that she hadn't been able to tell him the full truth, and he knew he was only getting part of the story.

That said, she had ended up telling Kurt everything, all the details about SHIELD getting her out of the MRD lock-up. Mostly, she supposed, it was because she had wanted to find some kind of trust between them again; if not Kurt, who could she trust? Telling him the whole truth had seemed, at the time, to be the best way to re-establish the trust. Besides, as far as she had been able to tell, the only part SHIELD really didn't want her discussing was that they had designed the bombs in the first place and that Lance had been part of their black-ops, and she was fairly certain Kurt wouldn't be telling the media about that sort of thing any time soon. He hadn't taken the facts very well though. Kurt hadn't said anything, hadn't reprimanded her in anyway, but she had seen the disappointment in her lingering under the surface in his silent response. It had been the easy way out, and they both knew it, but she hadn't felt like she had a lot of choices at the time. The main arms-dealer who supplied radiation weapons to the Purifiers was down, and she had gotten both their names off the MRD's wanted list. She was fairly certain the pros outweighed the cons. Either way, it was something they had silently agreed to disagree upon, and since she had told him the whole truth, and mentioned SHIELD had told her not to tell anyone, they hadn't been on the best of terms. Not arguing exactly, but most of the conversations between them the last two or three days had merely involved pleasantries and small talk until one of both of them made an excuse to be somewhere else.

After the initial, happy welcome-home, there was obviously a lot of repairing that needed to be done to their relationship. Specifically, it seemed from her end.

And on top of all this, there was the fact her powers were acting up that she was going to have to deal with soon. Yesterday, she had unconsciously absorbed the power from three or four batteries before Violet had given up and replaced the old ones in the smoke-alarm herself, and at least once or twice in a Danger Room session, her powers would take their own initiative and do something she didn't mentally command. She had thought it, originally, to perhaps be an after effect of the MRD power-grids, but now she was beginning to wonder if the problem was rooted somewhere deeper. Somewhere with her. Part of her wanted to ask Hank his opinion, but at the same time, she didn't see how he could help. How did you tell when there was an illness in a body made nearly-completely out of a foreign energy that still couldn't quite be classified? It might not even be a physical problem at all, for everything she knew. Though Professor Xavier had been more than willing to act the part of psychologist for her, she still couldn't bring herself to mention it to him. She wanted to try and figure it out herself first, since it was her body and her mutation that was going berserk. Or maybe she just didn't want to consider the fact she was somehow losing it.

_No sense in dwelling on answers I don't have I suppose. _Julia decided, running her fingers though her hair and changing out of her work-out clothes.

In the hallway, she ran into Scott, literally almost headlong into his chest, and they both had the same instant, guarded reaction, both clearly regarded each other as a possible hostile. She noticed one of Scott's eyebrows darting above the lenses of his glasses as he glanced at the control console behind her.

"Still killing Purifiers I see," He observed nonchalantly.

"Practicing not killing them actually. Not that it matters to you, I'm sure," Julia responded, her tone almost matching his. She turned on her heel and headed for the main level of the Institute, in no mood to deal with Scott and his crap. She couldn't say, at this point, that she expected anything out of him but unkindness, nor could she say for certain that she was entirely undeserving.

"I wanted to ask you something," He spoke up suddenly, and the usual note of contempt in his voice when he spoke to her lately was noticeably absent. Politely, Julia halted, though she wasn't sure yet whether she planned to answer him. Depended on the question, she supposed.

"Alright. Fire away."

"Why did you take the deal with SHIELD?"

"Figures," Julia said under her breath. Scott had an unfortunate habit of thinking he was entitled to know everything; Julia had a sneaking suspicion it was one of the central reasons he and Logan didn't get along. And Jean of course, but she was more or less the main cause to begin with. "Look, Scott, that's none of your business. It was my decision, not yours. It has nothing to do with you."

"I disagree," Scott argued, sharply enough that Julia stopped again mid-step. "I lead the X-Men remember? And if you ever want any part of my approval to get back on this team, you owe me some goddamn answers."

Despite the accusatory tone, he had kept his voice relatively low-volume and Julia figured that was really the only reason she turned to meet his ruby-colored glasses, her fingers wrapped tightly around the strap of her bag. "Fine. I'll explain, and hopefully in terms you'll understand. Suppose you knew Jean was going to die. Suppose I told you I was going to kill her, that I was going to march up to library, put my claws through her brain and forever destroy the physical part of her mind. What would you do?"

"Kill you," He said simply, his hand raising to the frame of his glasses, as though actually worried she might be serious.

"Was it a hard decision?" He stared back at Julia silently. "I didn't think so. And that, Scott, is my answer for you. Destiny, who I'm sure you've met before, told me something about the future, told me that Kurt and I were going to get killed, either by the MRD or the Purifiers. I would have done whatever it took to protect him. SHIELD offered me a way to at least stop part of the threat, so I took the deal. I don't know what I'll do about the Purifiers yet, but if it becomes a choice between Kurt and one of them, I'll kill again. Without hesitation."

"You can't-"

"You just said you were willing to kill me for Jean. How in the hell is that any different?" Julia snapped, starting to get extremely irritated. This, she supposed, was what had bothered her about the X-Men; the endless moralizing. The endless making of excuses for the humans they wouldn't touch. You could justify killing a mutant, especially an 'evil' one, but humans were somehow exempt from the morality they were supposed to follow. It seemed as though no matter what crimes they committed, they were untouchable, and that fact irritated her more than anything else. Scott seemed a little bewildered for a moment, then spat:

"It was only hypothetical!"

"Yeah, well, from where I stand, Mister Leader, you do a lot of lecturing and excuse-making, and leave the hard choices to someone else. You always talk about ideals, and morals, and ethics, and what the X-Men stand for, and you never seem consider the mutant lives at stake. Ideals are great Scott, but they're no good if no one is willing to stand behind them, ideals alone aren't going protect mutants from all the hatred out there."

"And you think your endless revenge cycle will?"

"Hey, don't forget you dropped all your supposed morals as soon as I mentioned Jean getting caught up in the mess, you're not better than me Scott, so stop acting like you are. I'm just saying that somewhere along the line, a stand has to be made. The X-Men shouldn't let people, normal people, walk all over them, it doesn't do much for inspiring faith in anyone else."

Scott looked like he was going to argue more, his hand raised as though to jab a finger at her, but instead he simply lowered his hand and frowned.

"If you have so little faith in what we do, why did you bother coming back? Why are you here now if you don't even believe in the ideals?"

"I don't know yet."

Scott frowned again. This time it seemed to almost be a sneer. "Well, if you ever do make this stand of yours, forgive me if I don't stand by you. I prefer not getting locked up by the MRD."

"I'd hardly expect you to. You certainly didn't before, when I really could have used someone on my side," Julia snapped, both hurt and infuriated by the statement. So she had broken the rules, she understood that, she really and truly did, but, that said, Scott had never tried to ship Logan off to the MRD. He hadn't even given her the benefit of the doubt, or listened to her when she tried to explain, tried to make sense of the fact she had killed someone. And now, it was only worse.

She turned on her heel again and marched away from Scott as fast as her feet would carry her without actually running, and it took her until she reached the gates of the school grounds and her vision had blurred horribly to realize she was crying. Angrily, she wiped at the tears roughly, feeling rather like a fool for strolling through campus with tears streaming down her face. Then again, no one had bothered to stop her and ask if anything was wrong, so maybe it hadn't been noticeable. She gave her face one more firm wipe with the sleeves of her coat and headed down to The Long Walk to take a shower and put in her seven hours behind the bar.

Violet would have none of that however, saying, quite bluntly, that Julia looked like crap -which she imagined she probably did from her short bout of crying- called the part-time bar tender who usually only worked weekends, and sent her up to bed with a hot toddy in hand. Julia was actually rather inclined to accept this diagnosis, though she only made it through half of Violet's ridiculously strong drink before she simply settled into bed and let her thoughts wander.

_What I said to Scott was true. I really don't know why I'm here, beyond wanting to be close to Kurt again. Am I really doing anything differently than I was before? How can I do any kind of good if I don't get involved somehow? Better yet, how am I supposed to know what's right when everything I've done has ended up being wrong? I can't do any good without fighting, I'm no diplomat, and fighting has really only ever made matters worse. Should I just give up the ghost? _

She rolled over, cuddling her spare pillow to her chest and wished the pillow was Kurt, she hadn't seen him in almost two days. It was short in comparison to how long they had been apart while she was in the MRD lock-up, but it seemed more lonely because she knew he was less than a fifteen minute walk away and was probably deliberately avoiding her. Feeling a sudden urge for tea to wash down the hot toddy, Julia dragged herself from bed and headed toward the stairs of the apartment she shared with Violet. The kitchen and a half-bath were downstairs in the bar, while a living room was upstairs, flanked on either side by the small bedrooms, and a full bathroom with a shower stall and bathtub was situated next to the stairs leading to the kitchen. It was a little small, but neither she or Violet needed much space, and their furniture was rather spartan, making it feel less cramped.

The bar was reasonably quiet, as it was a week day, and Julia made her tea in peace, minus one drunk guy stumbling into the kitchen rather than the public restroom. She carried the drink back upstairs, thinking perhaps she would finish it and turn in early, but halted, surprised, at the top of the stairs when she saw twin points of yellow light peering at her in the dim living room. After a moment of feeling somewhat threatened, she realized it was Kurt, sprawling on the couch like he owned it.

"_Hallo_," He greeted smiling.

"Hey." She took the last step, and strolled over toward the couch, wondering why he had suddenly decided to appear. "Don't tell me you're psychic now? I was literally just thinking about you."

"Ja, I have that effect on pretty girls," Kurt quipped, smile now turning a little sly.

His relaxed attitude seemed out of place considering they hadn't been all that close since she had moved down into Violet's spare room. Which reminded her that he didn't have a key. "Did Violet let you in?"

"Nein, you should really lock your vindow _liebling._"

"Yeah, well, there aren't many people who can walk on walls who want to break into my room," She scolded, rolling her eyes just the tiniest bit. She didn't mind him sneaking in, as it were, but if Violet had wandered up here first, Kurt probably would have found himself at the nearest hospital. She set the tea on the bench which served as a coffee table, settling onto the center cushion next to him. "What do you want?"

"I can't visit just because I vant to?" Kurt asked, turning to glance at her. She could barely distinguish him in the lack of light; he looked like just a blur of shadow, excepting his eyes. Julia's hand reached to the side-table lamp and flicked it on. He was looking a lot less tired these days, and the weight he had lost was regained, all in muscle naturally.

"Of course you can. Sorry. I just had a bad day I guess."

"I heard you und Scott were having it out."

Julia felt her eyebrows raising. "Having it out? Is that what he called it? And here I thought we were having a heart to heart or something." She rolled her eyes slightly.

"Did he pick the fight?"

"It wasn't...it wasn't a fight, alright? It was a...I don't know what it was. He was just making a point that he doesn't like me, which is just fine with me, I never asked him to."

"You did vonce."

"Yeah, but it sure as hell didn't work, and I'm tired of trying." Julia shook her head and picked up her tea again, sipped at it, and wondered why in the world she had made chamomile. She didn't even like the stuff. "Maybe if I pretended to shut off all my emotions and acted like a robot too we would get along better."

"You think Scott is a robot?"

"I think he acts like one. I mean, has the guy ever made a decision without going through half a dozen protocols first? And he thinks the fact he doesn't think like a human makes him more equipped to make moral decisions? It's just...it's backwards to me. He's dealing with people, with mutants, not statistics. The only time he gets emotional is when Jean gets involved, and then he just blows up, and suddenly the rules he has for everything don't matter anymore."

"Ja. Vell..." Kurt trailed off in a non-committal fashion.

"Sorry. I don't mean to put you in the middle of it. I'm honestly trying to see things from his point of view. But I don't like his point of view."

"You don't have to think like Scott, Jyulia. I think it vould vorry me if you could." He smiled a little at her, his hand brushing against her cheek. "You're too passionate."

"Hm. Passionate or temperamental?"

"Tom-ay-to, tom-ah-to," Kurt said with a grin and a shrug.

"Hmph. Some help you are." She set her tea aside again, and, somewhat impulsively, curled her legs up on the couch and found a comfortable spot against Kurt's side, her head leaning tiredly on his shoulder. It didn't feel awkward the way it had the last couple days -which had a lot to do with the fact Kurt wasn't fidgeting- it just felt good. It was as if their relationship had take a few dozen steps backwards lately, and they were back in that awkward phase when neither of them had known what was okay with the other; back when he had been nervous and she hadn't wanted to push him and risk scaring him off. His hand settled on the side of her face gently, his thumb tracing along her cheek.

"Ororo said you vere crying." His voice was quiet, brushing against her ear.

"I..." She thought of denying it, but thought better of it. "I guess I was just upset. Frustrated."

"If Scott made you cry, I vill go hit him."

The statement made her smile a little. "No, you don't have to hit him. Thanks though. This is making me feel plenty better." She snuggled her face against his shoulder, and reached her hand up to wrap her fingers around his.

Silence permeated the room for a few moments, except for the music from the bar below. "I vish you vould stay at the mansion. I miss you."

"Kurt, you don't even have to walk to get here. You can just teleport."

"I know. It's not the same though. I don't get to see you everyday down here."

"Yeah. Well, Scott made it pretty clear I'm not exactly welcome. If he had his way, I think I would still be with the MRD."

"Jyulia, he doesn't vant that-"

"Well, I certainly wouldn't be within one-hundred miles of him."

A sigh escaped Kurt, and he was quiet for a moment, thinking she supposed. "I know it's hard _liebling. _But Scott...he has a hard time looking at things from any vay but the vay he alvays has. It vill take him time."

"And he'll have to take that stick out of his ass." He chuckled, though Julia was completely serious. "I don't want to talk about Scott anymore."

"Okay, no more Scott. I admit, he's rather boring." Kurt leaned his head over and kissed her temple. For a moment, it was enough, a tiny bit of the intimacy and closeness that she had been missing for so long.

"I feel like I haven't told you I love you in awhile," Julia mumbled.

"It's alright _liebling, _I know you do."

"But it's not the same as telling you."

"That's true." He kissed her forehead this time, and Julia leaned up quickly, catching his mouth lightly with hers.

It was a trial, more than anything else. Julia still loved him, that would never change, but some part of her was starting to wonder whether he still felt the same about her. She couldn't blame him for beginning to doubt her. Beginning to get tired of trying to be with her. For an agonizing moment he didn't react, then Kurt leaned into her lightly. A gentle kiss, but it meant more to her than anything else that had happened in to her in what felt like forever.

And then her body stopped listening to the thoughts in her head, and suddenly her hands had a vice grip on the front of Kurt's shirt, and she was practically shoving him back into the couch. He didn't seem to mind, his tail wrapping around her waist, leaning with her, a hand settling on the back of her neck. Her hands let go of his shirt only long enough to push their way under it, but ended with it simply bunched awkwardly under his arms, as neither of them wanted to break off the kiss long enough to actually get rid of it.

Several moments later, when breathing became important again, Julia leaned back a little, her forehead resting on his.

"You know, Kurt," She muttered through her panting breath, "-you're seriously the only thing that I'm sure about right now."

"Vone thing is better than nothing. I'll try to help you make sense of the rest of it. If you vant me to."

A smile curled her lips. "Tell you what, let's worry about that after we get naked. I'm having fuzzy-elf withdrawals."

"Ah, _liebling, _you're so terribly romantic."

"Less talking, more stripping," Julia chided with a small giggle, grabbing for the hem of his shirt again. He sat up enough that she could peel it off him, and -not in the mood for a patient subduction- she stripped her own tank-top off while he was throwing his shirt somewhere near the end of the couch. She practically dove back into Kurt's waiting arms, finding it, for some reason, impossible to stop giggling, even when he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her chin lightly.

"It's good to see you smile Jyulia," He said, tracing his thumb across her lips.

"It's mostly just because you're a good influence one me." Julia shrugged, her smile feeling like it was more genuine than it had been in weeks, maybe even months, leaning down to kiss him deeply, one hand tunneling through his hair and the other bracing her on the arm of the couch above his head so she didn't fall on him. Not that she thought either of them would really mind.

His fingers edged under the waistband of her pajama pants, a gentle, almost tentative motion, as though he was little unsure this was a good idea, which, a moment later, Julia silently thanked him for, because the overhead light suddenly flicked on.

"Oh hell! Julia, for Christ's sake, your room is literally ten feet away from the couch!" Violet stood in the doorway, staring at the two of them tangled up on the couch peevishly. Neither of them had heard the music downstairs stop, nor had they associated it with the fact that Violet might be on her way up. Kurt, naturally, had the more adverse reaction, as he was rather obviously blue at the moment, scrambling to his feet -carrying Julia up with him, much to her consternation- and hastily cast around for something with which to cover her, settling on a throw pillow and thrusting it in front of her bare breasts.

"We're both girls honey. Violet knows what boobs look like," Julia smiled, unsure whether it was more to cover up her own embarrassment, or because she found Kurt's so endearingly amusing. All the same, she took the pillow and held it against her chest.

"Er...yes, vell..." He stammered awkwardly, moving as though to look for her shirt, but Julia noticed it seemed more that he was hiding behind her, whether because he was worried what Violet would think or because he felt modest, she couldn't say.

"Look lovebirds," Violet continued, striding over to the fridge and withdrawing a beer, which was really all she kept in the fridge, "-clearly I'm interrupting, so I'm gonna go hang out at a friend's-"

"Violet, you don't have to do that, you lived here first-" Julia started, not wanting to kick her roommate out. She also figured Kurt could easily get them back to the mansion, where it was easier to find secluded corners, so it made more sense for them to leave.

"No, no, don't worry about it Jules. But I'm gonna want to come home and sleep in a few hours, and if you guys are still up making animal noises, I _will _kick ya out then, alright?" The stern look she gave made Julia believe she and Kurt would indeed end up buck naked in the street if Violet really wanted them to.

"Uhm...okay. Thanks Violet." Julia smiled, appreciating the gesture.

"Yeah, yeah, you owe me Jules. Oh, and you." She pointed at Kurt suddenly, who eyed her a little nervously. "I better not find any blue hairballs."

And with that, Violet marched back downstairs and apparently out the door.

"_Animal _noises? Hairballs? Vhat does she think I am?" Kurt blurted indignantly after the door downstairs had shut with a snap.

"That's just...Violet." Julia shrugged, then turned to glance at him, still holding the pillow up to her chest. "Mood totally ruined?"

"Ja. A little."

"Well, guess that means we're back to square one." She dropped the pillow on the couch and grabbed his arm, hauling him to her bedroom and shutting the door securely behind them, just for good measure.

"Und vhere exactly is square vone?"

"It's where I strip you naked and have my way with you," Julia replied wryly, but with just enough seriousness to let him know it was actually her intention to do so if that's what it took.

Kurt grinned at her in the dark room, his fangs and eyes the only thing truly visible, though she didn't really need the light, didn't need to actually see him, she had his features memorized, down to the minutest detail. She felt his arms around her, sweeping her off the ground, his mouth finding hers and kissing with a gentle bite. Julia wriggled impatiently in his arms, her mind moving steadily away from coherent thought and more into the baser instincts. She was simply feeling, barely thinking, conscious only of the fact that Kurt felt like velvet against her bare skin, and what his kiss tasted like, her hands tangling in his hair and holding tight, clinging to him.

He arranged her on the bed, breaking the kiss with her to take a gentle hold of her pajama pants and strip them slowly off her, kissing her above the knees and then the space just below her bellybutton as he made his way back up to her mouth, her busy hands much less suave. In the back of her desire-clogged brain, Julia knew she appreciated the fact he was trying to be romantic, despite the needy way both of their hands were tearing at what was left of the clothing separating them. However, the part of her that was in control of her actions at the moment, didn't particular have the patience for romance, and Kurt's pants were barely around his knees before she was shoving him onto his back -not that he protested- straddling him. She reached between them, guided him in, her hips bucking and gyrating wildly in ways she hadn't seen anywhere but in rodeos. Part of her was a little put off by the lack of control she had over what her body was doing, her fingers digging into his shoulders so hard that she was certain Kurt had to feel her nails through his fur; her absence of restraint ceased to be a concern however when Kurt's hands wandered up her body, one hand firmly cupping her breast while the other latched onto the back of her neck, pulling her down to a firey kiss. In an odd mix of German and English he told her repeatedly not to stop in a jumble of words, and she didn't, not until her back arched in a beautifully intense burst of energy across her body, and her hair lifted from her shoulders, doing a wild dance as a transformation swept over her, before she collapse, weakened and wholly satisfied, draping over Kurt's sweaty chest like well-done spaghetti.

"You okay?" She questioned after a moment, when she found the strength shift back to flesh form, letting reality slowly slide back into place.

"Numb. As usual." Kurt smiled, a tired hand reached to her face, pushing her hair away from her eyes. "You?"

"Amazing." She smiled as well, then frowned slightly. "I need to figure out a way to get off without transforming."

"Vhy?" Kurt questioned, though she didn't think he could honestly be so uncaring about being numb from the waist down.

"Because I would like to have sex with you, at least occasionally, without paralyzing you. It makes me feel very self-conscious."

"If I didn't like it, I vouldn't be here, vould I?" Kurt said with a little shrug, nuzzling his head against hers and apparently starting to drift off to sleep.

Julia was quiet for a few moments, then glanced over at him. "That is the weirdest, most specific fetish I have ever heard of."

He jolted, staring down at her. "It is not a fetish! I vas only trying to-"

Julia smiled at him, cuddling her face against his chest. "I know, I know honey. You're still so easy to embarrass. Get some sleep okay? Because we're probably going to end up doing this again before Violet gets back."

"Alright. But _liebling, _vone thing."

"What's that?"

"Let me be romantic next time."

She smiled into his chest. "Whatever you want Kurt. Whatever you want."


	29. Chapter 29

**The Gaze and the Glance**

_Author's Note: Well, little shorter than I had planned, and it crossed my mind to just combine this with the epilogue, but...I dunno. I suppose honestly my brain prefers an even number like 30 rather than 29. :) That said, the Epilogue is basically a little story unto itself, so it might be a while before I get it up, because I have to start looking at finals and stuff later this week. Not the tests, but essays (joyous). Other than that, here is the final chapter of Gaze and the Glance. :) We'll see how the sequel looks in a few weeks. _

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 29<strong>

It was late when Violet came home, or rather, it was early. Kurt had been up for a couple hours now, idling around the book shelves and making coffee while Julia caught some sleep in the last few hours of the night. He had never needed much sleep, one of the many reasons his second name was Nightcrawler. Violet strode into the kitchen, looking very spry for having been gone all night, and paid him little attention, though he was watching her, a little uneasy.

He wasn't familiar with Violet, though Julia was very fond of her, and wasn't quite sure how she would react when she got a good look at him without his disguise. She strode past him, opening the fridge, and for an aghast moment, Kurt thought she was going to get another beer, but this time she blessedly removed a bottle of water. Then again, the kitchen fridge looked like it actually had food in it, as opposed to the upstairs one, where he had only found Violet's beer supply earlier that morning while looking for some kind of breakfast. Taking a sip, she turned now to gaze at Kurt, rather blatantly, and sat on the edge of the counter. Kurt watched her from the corner of his eye. Unsure of her.

"Julia sleeping?"

"Ja."

"And you're making her coffee. That's sweet."

"Uhm..._danke_." He returned awkwardly, still uncertain how he felt about this woman. Or how she felt about him for that matter.

"So, why do you wear the mask?"

"Mask?" Taken aback, Kurt turned to face her fully now. Did she mean to say she thought his face was a mask? The story he had lived by for so many years. Surely Julia would have told her...

"Yeah. This is what you really look like, right? So when you looked all...normal and stuff, that was a mask, right?"

"Oh...that. Yes. That vas only a mask." He decided to leave it at that, rather than elaborate and try to explain holograms and what-not."

"Why do you wear it?"

"Because dhis..." He gestured vaguely at himself, "-tends to make people uncomfortable."

"You shouldn't hide it. We can't help the way we're born."

"Ja...but it's harder than it seems."

Violet gave a rather rude snort, and Kurt looked at her, partly confused, partly offended.

"Hard he says..." She muttered, seemingly more to herself than him. "You're talking to someone who's twice damned deary. I know all about hard."

"Twice damned...?"

Violet swirled the water, contemplating it. "Let's just say...before I knew about you, I seriously, seriously think I was in love with your girlfriend. I wanted to take her to movies and hold her hand and kiss her...and hell. I dunno. Marry her or something."

Kurt felt his mouth drop open slightly, and quickly tried to erase the rude reaction. He had been raised Catholic, and homosexuality was something that was hard for him to accept based on that principle, but being a mutant had also taught him that judgment shouldn't be an easy thing to pass. Mostly, he supposed he was just put off by the fact that Violet was admitting romantic feelings toward Julia. To him. After she had left to allow them privacy to act on the exact same feelings.

Or maybe, as Kurt was beginning to wonder, she had left because it had hurt her feelings to know the object of her affection was with someone else. That thought made him a little guilty, but how was he supposed to have known? Did Julia know? It wasn't like her to be so callous if she did.

"I know right?" Violet laughed, though it didn't have any particular emotion behind it. "As if being a mutant wasn't bad enough, I also happen to like women. Two strikes. Twice damned." An awkward silence fell between them. Violet's eyes narrowing to little slits as she stared at the water in her bottle. "The thing with me," She continued suddenly, as though she simply couldn't help it, now that she had begun her story, "-is my mutant ability. I'm an empath. I feel what other people feel, and later I could make them feel what I wanted them to feel. If I really, really liked someone, I would make them feel the same. Not really on purpose. Most of the time it just happened. If I was really happy, or in love, I couldn't help but let it leak out. It would only be later when they started to develop resistance to it that we realized what had happened. I've been arrested twice, straight women influenced by my power to love me, convinced I'd drugged them or something. I came here because I thought maybe the famous mutant doctor McCoy could fix it. But somewhere along the line I just...figured it out. How to control it. I guess I just needed to be around drunk people more, they're harder to influence, and I don't get bombarded as much. So I settled here, I made myself a cozy little life, and thought I'd probably be better off alone. And then Julia came along. She's the one and only person I've ever met who's immune to my power. And I thought, well hell, here's your first chance to try having a real relationship. She's really...earnest. You know? She never told me anything she didn't mean, and...and it just made me love her. Because I knew her being nice to me was genuine, that I wasn't controlling it. Then one day she asked me how to tell you she loved you, and I knew that I was looking for love in the wrong place."

Her narrative finished, Violet looked up at him, an almost pleading expression on her face. Kurt wasn't sure what he wanted to say.

"Sorry. I guess that was a little weird. You're...I dunno. Easy to talk to. I can feel you're confused, but...you're not judging me. I guess that's why I told you." She fiddled awkwardly with the half-drained water bottle. "I mean, look, don't get me wrong. I haven't told Julia any of this, and I don't plan to. It's strictly platonic as far as she's concerned, I wouldn't drop it on her now. I guess I just wanted you to know, cuz, you know...I expect you to do a good job."

"A good job?"

"Yeah. Make her happy and junk." Violet finished off the water and dropped the bottle into a cardboard box by the counter. "So there's something I want you to do for me. Well, really, I guess it's more for her."

"Like vhat?"

"I want you to convince her to go back to the X-Men."

A little taken aback, Kurt was silent a moment. "She told you?"

"Uh-huh. I guess she figured there wouldn't be any harm in it."

"But she doesn't vant to go back. She doesn't vant to be part of the X-Men anymore."

"I know she thinks that," Violet shook her head, circling around Kurt to the fridge, and digging around until she found an apple, "-but even without being able to read her emotions, I can tell you she's not happy. She wants to be up there with you guys, fighting for mutants, changing the world. But I think...it's like she doesn't believe she can do good anymore, you know? I think she's convinced that every decision she'll make will be bad. And I mean, I dunno if you can help her, I dunno if anyone can, but she needs to remember that she's capable of doing good just as much as bad. I think when that happens, she'll realize how much she hates being on the sidelines like this."

"I see," Kurt said quietly. He couldn't say he had noticed this, but he also hadn't been nearly as close with Julia as he would have liked to be since she came back. It made sense, and he didn't doubt for a moment that Scott's constant ragging on her had a key role in Julia's hesitancy to start over. However, he also remembered some of the other things she had said, about needing to find her own set of rules to follow, finding something she could have faith in. Maybe Violet was on to something though, if he could remind Julia of the good she had done, maybe she would have an easier time believing in something. Anything really.

"I vill see vhat I can do. I think you're right, I think it vill help."

"Good." Violet nodded, and headed toward the stairs, presumably to sleep.

"For vhat it's vorth," Kurt called after her, quietly so as not to wake Julia, "-there vill be someone who vill love you for you. Not that long ago I didn't imagine somevone vould love me the vay I am. Not easily anyvay. Und then I met Jyulia."

Violet paused at the stairs, but said nothing, and went on her way. He supposed that was all the sensitivity she had in her for the day. He knew merely by stories from Julia that Violet was a hard egg to crack, and it seemed he had been privy to one such rare occasion. He smiled slightly as he turned back to the coffee which was finally finished. He was glad Violet was the one watching over Julia while he wasn't able to, he thought he would find it disconcerting to know she loved Julia, but he didn't; it was actually rather comforting to know that someone else who loved her was there for her. He only hoped that one day Violet would indeed find herself the love she was looking for.

"You're a special girl, _mein geliebtes_," He mused aloud.

Taking coffee upstairs with him, tip-toeing past Violet's door, Kurt found Julia standing stark naked in front of the mirror mounted on her closet door, looking over her shoulder at herself.

"You leave a hell of a mark," She informed him with a small smile.

"Mark?"

"Yep. You bit me." She turned to show him the shoulder she had been examining in the mirror, where an oval shaped bruise was evident, complemented by two particularly dark marks about where his pointed canines would be. It looked like it had even bled a little.

"Uhm...it vas...an accident?" He offered feebly, not recalling having bitten her, let alone that hard.

"I know. Just expect payback from me sometime soon." She gave him a grin somewhere between malicious and sexy, taking one of the coffees from his hands and taking a sip. "You're going to wake up one of these days with a bald patch somewhere."

"_Ach, liebling_, doesn't that seem a bit cruel? I'm sure I meant it as a love bite..."

"Yeah, I'm sure you did. Which is why it hurts like hell." She smirked, rubbing at the bruise tenderly, frowning when he didn't share the smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. You know biting doesn't bother me. It never has." Her voice was firm, and earnest, obviously she thought he had offended or upset him somehow. "Well, I mean, when you're biting me it doesn't bother me..."

"You don't have to apologize Jyulia," He said, smiling slightly now. He knew very well biting didn't bother her, even when he accidentally left marks. And he knew very well he didn't need to feel self-conscious with Julia, at least, he had learned that by now. "It's just...I've got to get back to the school."

"Why?" Her eyes widened a little. It seemed like she'd forgotten for a moment they were sleeping in separate beds as it were. Separate rooms, separate houses. Practically separate lives.

"Classes. Theology at ten, und gymnastics at two."

Julia gave a little snort. "Theology and gymnastics. Only you could pull that off." She shook her head and sipped more of her coffee, opening the closet to pull out a robe. An awkward silence fell between them for a moment.

"You should come visit me. For the gymnastics class."

"I think we both know you're the flexible one in this relationship honey."

"Just trust me. It vill be fun. Come up to the school for a little vhile." He urged, smiling encouragingly when she gave him a little nod.

"Okay, okay, I'll come by. But I'm not talking to Scott, or the Professor. I'm just going to visit you, maybe Marcy if she's around." Her voice was stern.

"Of course." Kurt agreed, smiling wider as he took a step across the small distance separating them, placing a light kiss on her lips. "You vant pancakes?" He added as an afterthought, figuring they had time to make a real breakfast before he actually had to go, it was still fairly early after all.

She made a little face, and then laughed. "You know, we never did get to eat those pancakes you made me the first time we met."

"Ja. I think ve're long overdue."

She pulled her robe on, and in an almost childish fashion, they strolled back down to the kitchen hand in hand.

* * *

><p>The "classroom" Kurt used to teach gymnastics was, of course, the Danger Room. She wondered if he told the kids that before taking them down there.<p>

_Probably, little devil that he is._ Julia thought with a smirk, riding the elevator down to the lowest level. Inside, the Danger Room was scattered with sports equipment, parallel bars, mats here and there. And teenage kids running rampant, only half of them really committing to any sort of organized class. Kurt was perched on one of the sets of bars, shaking his head slightly at the chaos.

"Teaching gym a little harder than you thought, huh?" She called across the din, and Kurt dropped off the bar with a grin.

"Jyulia! You made it!" He bounded across the room, wrapping her in a hug, to which several of the kids hooted about. One in particular caught Julia's attention, a short, skinny little girl, with bright orange hair and eyes, exuding a gentle glow. She recognized the girl, her glow, from a certain event back in New York.

"Who's-"

"That's Renee. I think you know her. She vanted to meet you," Kurt said quietly in her ear. He turned again, announcing class was out, and the kids, after a few more hoots about the teacher getting lucky, filtered out. All except Renee, who stepped forward rather shyly, extending a lightly glowing hand toward Julia.

"Hi..uhm...Mr. Summers told me you're the one that saved my life. In New York."

"Scott told you...?" She trailed off, accepting the girls hand shake. She let Renee's hand go rather quickly though, feeling her powers kick in involuntarily and try to absorb the energy the small girl was putting out. Wouldn't do to drain one of the students after all. She was really going to need to get that stuff figured out, and soon. Still, it was strange that Scott, of all people, would have told Renee she was responsible for saving her. Julia figured she would have been stuck on the part where she burned a warehouse down and killed people. "Er...yeah. I mean, I was there, but I think it was Spider-man that did most of the life-saving. But, anyway, I'm Julia. It's nice to finally meet you. Under better circumstances."

"Vhy don't you two go ahead and talk. I have papers to grade," Kurt announced suddenly, disappearing in smoke and brimstone.

"Seriously, that teleporting thing is awesome, but it sure smells," Renee stated, waving her hand in front of her face.

"I don't notice much anymore. You get used to it." Julia smiled. The two of them absently started to wander toward the door, and then out to the grounds, not saying much beyond small talk at first. "So, how long have you been here?" Julia questioned.

"Since you rescued me I guess. Spider-man had called Professor Xavier after you left, and they came to pick me up and doctor me up."

"Did you tell your parents or anything?"

"I called my mom. She still doesn't want to speak to me though."

"Oh...why's that?"

"I'm from a pretty small town, in Colorado. Mutants weren't really...easily accepted there, and I can't turn off my glow. Ever, so it was pretty obvious what I was. My mom kept me indoors as much as possible, to the point where she put a dead-bolt on my door. On the outside. But then I figured out I could fly, and it didn't matter."

"You can fly?" Julia asked, excited despite herself. She had always been jealous of people who could fly.

"Well...float really. Wanna see?" At Julia's nod, the glow around Renee intensified, her feet lifting several inches off the ground, and she bobbed along in hap-hazard manner, rather like a balloon in a breeze, her arms and legs flailing around a little as she tried to steer herself. She laughed in an embarrassed fashion, settling back towards the ground. "Dr. McCoy says when I get older it will get easier. It took Firestar a long time to get flying right, and we have similar powers I guess. But hers is for shooting, mine is for blocking. That's why the Purifiers couldn't hurt me. Everything just bounces off the glow."

"Well, it's certainly a wonderful power," Julia said wistfully, "-I always hoped one day I'd learn to fly to. No such luck, I did get a nifty teleporting power though."

"Like Mr. Wagner?"

"Mm. Sort of. But he goes through another dimension, I just move super, super fast. And I can't go nearly as far as he can." Julia shrugged. "Speaking of which, he's the one that said you wanted to meet me. How did you know he would know me?"

"Uh...well, I didn't actually. When I first got here, Mr. Summers told me that it wasn't actually the X-Men that saved me, which I guess I just kind of assumed, he said it was someone named Eclipse. Then I just kind of asked around, and Mr. Wagner was the one who told me he knew where Eclipse was, and I said I wanted to meet her, er, you, really, really bad. And now here you are." Renee smiled, and her glow brightened slightly again.

"I see. I'm sorry if I don't quite live up to the costumed hero ideal or anything," Julia laughed, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed she had shown up in jeans and a t-shirt. Surely Renee had been expecting someone dressed up like an actual superhero or something. "Still, I'm a little surprised Scott told you that. We don't exactly...get along too well these days."

Renee looked at her feet. "Well, he told me you hurt a lot of people in order to save my life..."

"Yeah. I did. I was going through some very difficult things at the time. I was acting out a lot. I didn't know what was right, where to draw the line or anything. Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, it was worth it. They killed a lot of mutants, and they were going to kill you. It's too late to change it, but I do wish I'd thought of another way."

"I'm glad you killed them," Renee spat, her tone venomous. Julia was taken slightly aback, this was the first time Renee had seemed anything less than cheerful. "They hurt me for weeks, they had me locked in the stupid machine for almost two days, they wouldn't even let me out to eat. They wanted to kill me, and they tried for weeks on end to get through my shield. I wanted to turn it off so they could kill me and it would stop hurting but I couldn't. And then you saved me. If it weren't for you, I would be dead."

"That's why I don't regret it." Julia said after a moment of silence. "I couldn't help the kids they had before you, but I managed to save you, and anyone else they might have tried to hurt later. So I think we kinda helped each other out on that one."

A bell somewhere in the school had Renee stopping before she could say whatever was on the tip of her tongue. "Uhm, I have to go. I have a class in a little bit. But...uh...do you mind if I hug you?"

"Hug me?" The girl balked at Julia's surprise, looking sheepishly at her feet. "Er, no, I don't mind." Looking suddenly happy again, Renee bounded across the space separating them and wrapped her in a hug.

"I just wanted to say thanks. And I'm glad you're here," She said, squeezing Julia.

"Yeah...me too."

* * *

><p>"There you are Jyulia. I vas vondering if you'd gone home."<p>

"Nah, not yet." Kurt sat next to her on the garden bench. It was very nearly where Renee had left her nearly an hour ago.

"Is everything...okay?"

"Yeah...uhm...I talked to Scott." She picked at the moss growing in the engraved patterns bordering the bench-seat, and Kurt's hand absently settled over hers, stilling the nervous motion.

"Vhat about?"

"I'm going to start coming up here for Danger Room sessions. I had to make sure it was okay with him."

"Don't you do that now?" She gathered from Kurt's tone he was a little confused, but she was still looking intently at his hand over hers. At one point, he had told her that looking at her made the contrast between their appearances obvious to him; made him feel self-conscious about being blue. It had never really seemed that way to her, she was conscious that he was different from her, in a lot of ways, but after awhile he had stopped seeming 'different' and had started being her idea of normal. He had never been 'the blue guy with a tail' to her, he had always just been Kurt. She wasn't really sure what the distinction was, but she knew there was one.

"Yeah, but...tomorrow I'm going to start training with the team again." Finally, she glanced up at him, finding him watching her with eyes widening slightly in surprise. He had always had a conviction, that was what was really different about them, not the way they looked. She had been easily swayed, she had never known what the right choice was. He always had. Kurt had always known what he was going to stand for. Now, Julia thought she might be working towards something similar. Not the same, but close. It was progress from the gray limbo she had been taking refuge in for the last few days anyway, so she would take it. Taking a neutral stance was no way to change things.

"You're coming back?" His tone was guarded.

"Yeah. If Scott will let me. I have a lot of trust to earn back, but I think I can do it. If you trust me. Because I think...I think I might need your help."

"You've got it. You know I trust you _liebling._"

"Thanks. Really." She leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder lightly.

"Can I ask vhat changed your mind?"

"Renee. She told me I had saved her life. I've been so stuck on the people I killed, I forgot that I might have actually helped someone too. That's what I want to focus on. I know I can't save everyone, but if I can help as many people as I can, if I can save any of them, I want to. I don't know if I could do it on my own, and I need...I dunno, I need people to tell me when I'm wrong, and I need to learn to listen. I want to change the way things are, I want mutants to be able to live their lives."

"Ve vill, I promise." His hand closed over hers in a gentle squeeze.

She tilted her head up at him and smiled. "I love you Kurt."

"_Ich liebe dich mehr, liebling._"

"And I clearly still need to learn some German."


	30. Epilogue

**Finding Your Inner Freak (The Epilogue)**

_Wow, this totally seemed longer while I was working on it. I suppose that's because it was done mostly in between these three huge essays I had to do. And then I took a break to celebrate most of the weekend, Haha. But, anyway, Gaze and the Glance is now officially done, and I will (hopefully) be moving on to the sequel soon. It will likely be much shorter than this was. Almost definitely. Anyway, thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, Favorited, whatever. You guys are all fabulous and you're the reason anything on this site gets written. _

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><p>Julia's eyes snapped open, meeting the darkness of Kurt's room, and for a vague moment while she oriented herself, she couldn't figure out what had woken her. A moment later, she realized it was because Kurt had shot bolt upright in bed with absolutely no warning, taking most of the blankets with him.<p>

She hadn't experienced Professor Xavier's telepathic calls in long while, probably not since she had fought the telepath in Texas in fact, but she could still recognize the symptoms. If the Professor was calling loud enough to practically have Kurt leaping out of bed before the sun was up, it must have been important.

"Sorry Jyulia," Kurt apologized, sliding off the mattress, but it was in a offhanded manner; he was clearly listening to the voice in his head.

"It's okay. What's going on?"

"U-Men." Kurt had crossed the room to his closet by now, no doubt looking for his uniform.

"What are U-Men?" Julia questioned, feeling like she had been left out of something important. She had been out of the game awhile, and apparently, it had been long enough for a new enemy to sprout up alongside the Purifiers. What else was new? There was always someone new to pick up the hate crimes.

"Vorse than the Purifiers," Kurt responded, somewhat shortly, halfway through pulling his suit on.

"What's worse than the Purifiers?" Julia asked, highly dis-believing.

"Have you ever read _The Island of Doctor Moreau_?"

"Yeah, once, but what does that have to do with this?" A moment later, Julia wished she hadn't asked. _Moreau _was about vivisection, grafting, splicing men and animals. A disgusting breach of human ethics. "Kurt, you don't mean-"

When he gave a brief nod to her appalled expression, Julia honestly thought for a moment that she would be sick. "Mutants have been disappearing, a few at first, over the last few veeks. Sometime yesterday a whole group of mutants vanished from a shelter. At first ve thought it vas the Purifiers, like the vones that took Renee. The Professor thinks Cerebro finally found some of the missing vones, and it's not the Purifiers. They're...experimenting. Ve have to get them out as soon as possible."

"Where?"

"Nevada."

"Don't you dare tell me you're going to area 51." Her attempt at humor fell pathetically short.

"Nein." Kurt shook his head, then looked at her with an expression she would almost call cautious. "Vill you be here vhen I get back?"

"Depends I guess...I have to go to work tomorrow. And I don't really feel comfortable sleeping here without you, so I think I might actually just head to Violet's."

"Vhy?" Kurt was, for a moment, distracted from the mission.

"Because I don't think anyone else quite trusts me yet." She shrugged, though she knew she couldn't hide the fact that it bothered her. Kurt opened his mouth as though he wanted to say something, but winced slightly; obviously the Professor was informing him he didn't have time to linger with her. She smiled as best she could for him. "It's okay. Go."

"I'll call you as soon as I get home."

"Okay. Be careful, alright Kurt?"

"Alvays." He smiled, leaned down to kiss her, and teleported away to who knew what sort of dangers.

Julia sighed to herself in the silence of the room, and slid her feet over the edge of the mattress, finding her clothes lingering around on the floor. So much patch work still needed to be done...how long would it be before she was comfortable in the mansion again without hiding behind Kurt?

_Maybe never. _She answered her own musings inwardly, but shook the thought off. Pessimism wasn't really the way to go, was it? She dressed and left the room, tip-toeing with her shoes in her hand so she didn't disturb anyone else, it being five in the morning and all.

* * *

><p>"Hey Jules. You're back earlier than I thought," Violet commented, sitting at the bar, reading the daily paper and eating some scrambled eggs.<p>

"You're up earlier than I thought." Julia smiled in return. She sat on the stool next to Violet, yawning slightly.

"Kurt didn't let you sleep much?"

"Other way around," Julia laughed quietly. "He had to leave. Work and stuff."

"X-Men stuff?"

"Yeah."

"Shouldn't you be going along?"

"Nah. I'm still on probation or whatever. They don't take me along unless they have a nuke or something they need to throw me at."

"You can stop a nuke?"

"The only one I've ever had to absorb anyway" Julia shrugged, reaching over to take Violet's coffee, sipping at it.

"Oh, I almost forgot, this came in the mail for you the other day," Violet said suddenly, hopping off the stool and walking around the bar to retrieve a rather fancy looking envelope. "Do you know anyone named Jennifer Lyle?"

"Kinda," Julia said, looking up in a confused manner. "I knew her when she was Jennifer Hayle. We grew up together in Arizona. I heard she got married, but I haven't seen her in years. Wonder how she knew I lived here."

"Well, it's been forwarded from someone named Esmerelda."

Julia took the letter and slid it open with her nail, producing an invitation. She flipped it over, reading the details.

"What's up?"

"Nana is turning seventy in a couple weeks. It's an invitation to her party. I guess Jennifer is trying to organize a reunion." Julia smiled, finding the idea extremely charming. Although, it also sounded like it would be horribly awkward; she hadn't seen some of the people on the RSVP list since she was eighteen. None of them knew she was a mutant, unless they had seen the little disaster in Boston, and then they weren't liable to greet her with a friendly smile. "You think I should go?"

"What are you asking me for?"

"I dunno. It just seems like it might be weird. I haven't seen some of these guys since I was a kid."

"But you grew up with them, what's the worse that could happen?"

"Well, I grew up into a mutant. There's that. My boyfriend is blue. They may or may not have seen me throw somebody of a fifty story building. All of which could be really weird."

"You taking Kurt?"

"It says to bring our 'new families,' so yeah, that was my plan." Julia nodded. "If he wants to go of course. But I'm just concerned about the whole 'I murdered someone' part."

"I don't think they woulda invited you if they thought you were a psycho killer Jules."

"Yeah...I guess. I just don't want to get there and end up being harassed and arrested or some shit. Then again, they never released my real name, so I might be safe."

"You're taking Kurt. He can just teleport you or whatever if things get weird."

"I guess..."

Violet sighed. "Jules, I think you should go. Seriously, you've been hiding here for the last couple of months, trying to figure out what the hell you want to do, and nothing is changing. Maybe it's time to take a break. Take a vacation, come back and start working on it again with some fresh eyes."

"You think?"

"Yeah. I mean, hanging around here isn't really doing much for you." Violet shrugged slightly as she spoke, finishing off her eggs. "Just think of it as a vacation for you and Kurt, time to organize your thoughts and junk."

"What do you know about vacations? You don't even take Sunday off Vi."

"Yeah, well, some of us didn't end up with X-Men worthy powers and have to work for a living." Violet punched Julia lightly in the shoulder as she walked past to put her plate in the sink, before continuing upstairs to the apartment. "Regardless, I think you and Scott glaring over his head isn't making Kurt feel very comfortable. He doesn't like being between you two."

"I know." Julia looked down at the paper lying on the table. She knew that her constant fighting with Scott made Kurt feel like he was being put in the middle of a very nasty war. It made things pretty tense between all of them. It tended to put Wolverine at odds with Scott too, as he tended to take her side these days. Maybe it wouldn't hurt any of them for her to disappear for a few days and let everyone cool down again. And maybe when she came back she could try and patch things up with Scott again.

Whether Kurt opted to come along with her or not, she knew Violet was right, and it was time for her to get a little distance; if only in order to give Scott some breathing room and maybe realize she wasn't a psychopath who would lash out at any given moment.

Now, she just had to see whether Kurt wanted to go along for the rip or not, which, of course, had to wait until he got home.

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><p>Several hours later, heading upstairs to change, Julia found Kurt curled up and asleep in the middle of her bed. The fact that he had forgotten to call her upon his return, like he had said earlier that morning, and hadn't bothered to come in through the bar and say hello made her wonder how bad the fight with the U-Men had been. Whenever he started hiding and being evasive, it was usually a pretty good indication something was wrong.<p>

"Kurt?" She sat on the edge of the bed, patting his shoulder lightly. Lately, they had been time-sharing where they slept -three days in the mansion, three days down here, that sort of thing- which made the fact he was here slightly more unusual. She had been planning to go up to mansion as soon as she grabbed some clean clothes and pajamas. And the "Pirates of the Caribbean" she had rented, though Kurt had continually groused that modern pirate movies were no good. Truth be told, they had watched all the old ones that the local Blockbuster had already.

Her voice didn't even make Kurt stir, but after a few more moments of patting/gently shaking him, he finally took note of her.

"_Ach_. Sorry Jyulia, I didn't mean to fall asleep." He rubbed his eyes sleepily.

"It's alright. It's not like you don't sleep here anyway. Everything okay?"

"Yes. And no. The U-Men...the experiments they vere doing...so many of the mutants vere already dying by the time ve got there. Even the vones I teleported out...not all of them vill live. They hurt them too badly." The haunted, desolate look in his eyes made Julia ache inside. It hurt when you couldn't save people, or when you felt like you had moved too slowly to make any real difference. She knew that feeling very well. And she was coming to terms with the fact that explosive anger and hate didn't do anything but blur the lines between saving people and causing more damage.

Which was why she quelled the thoughts of finding these so-called U-Men and start tearing through them. Right now, it wasn't about hurting or stopping bad people, it was about trying to find some way to comfort Kurt. It was about helping him.

"Do you want to stay here instead hon?" She asked gently, her hands reaching out to circle his lightly. Silently, Kurt nodded, his thicker fingers wrapping around hers firmly.

"Jyulia, is this...is this vhy you killed the Purifiers? Because you vere too late to save their victims? Because it felt like the least you could do vas avenge them?"

"Something like that," Julia said quietly. "You want to hurt the U-Men?"

"I don't know. Part of me does, but I know that it vill only make things vorse und I don't..."

"You don't want to be like me. That I can understand. Look, Kurt, I'm not going to pretend like I'm some great moralist. I'm not even really sure I'm a good person anymore, even if I argue that way. But if anyone is able to be a bigger person, it's you sweetheart. It hurts when it feels like you're not helping, and it makes you want to do something desperate, something to make it change. That's how Magneto thinks. That's how me, and probably Wolverine think too. We're all just angry, angry people. You're not angry Kurt, you are the sweetest, most forgiving, most loving man I have ever met in my entire twenty six years on this planet." Julia watched him intently, not sure if her attempt at speaking from the heart was making it through to him, or whether it was conveying the message she wanted. "I don't want to see you lose that, you mean more to me than anything else in this world. You would regret it for the rest of your life Kurt, you would never forgive yourself. You're just not like me, you don't hate the way I do."

"Vhy do I feel like I'm being put on a pedestal?" Kurt questioned with a hint of a smile in his voice.

"Because you're my favorite." Julia shrugged smiling, feeling as though, at the very least, some progress had been made in cheering him up.

"Favorite vhat?"

"Favorite person. Favorite mutant. Favorite anything I suppose," Julia smiled. "Except for maybe my favorite food. I don't think I would want to eat you." She tugged her hands gently out of his and placed them on either side of his head, kissing his forehead. Kurt took this as an invitation to cuddle, which Julia certainly wasn't opposed too, and he curled around her with his head resting on her shoulder. Julia was silent for a little while, just holding him. It felt like it had been ages since she had comforted him, between the two of them, Kurt had definitely been the strong one lately, and it seemed to her that he was long overdue for a shoulder to lean on.

"Hey Kurt, what do you think about taking a trip?"

"A trip?"

"Mhm. Nana is turning seventy in a couple weeks, and I got an invitation to the party. You want to go?"

"Ja, I think...I think it vill be good to get avay for a bit."

"Great. I'll get plane tickets tomorrow, okay? We can get there a couple days early and make a vacation out of it."

"Ve could just ask to use the Blackbird."

"Yeah...but then Scott would probably try to accuse me of kidnapping you or something." Julia muttered, absently tracing the outline of Kurt's hand where it lay against her hip. From the first day she had met him, she had always found his hands interesting. His dexterity with only three fingers versus her clumsiness with five had always given her something to wonder about. Maybe there was something to the idea that 'less was more' after all.

"Jyulia, I really think you're exaggerating how grumpy he is."

"You also don't have to listen to his nagging every time you see him."

"Ja, that's true," Kurt conceded.

"Anyway, I'd rather just go to the airport like everybody else instead of shuffled around in a super-secret stealth aircraft. It seems kinda wasteful, don't you think?"

"I never thought of it that vay." He sounded surprised that he hadn't.

"Yeah, well, let's just be normal people for a couple of days, okay?"

"But ve're not normal."

"Normal by our standards then," Julia quipped, wrapping an arm around his neck and kissing his forehead. "Do you still want to watch a pirate movie?"

Everything else was promptly dropped by Kurt in favor of launching into another rant about the fallacies of modern cinema. He sincerely believed, and never got tired of telling her so, that everything after Errol Flynn was crap.

She put "Pirates of the Caribbean" in just to antagonize him.

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><p>"I didn't expect this to be so crowded. Sorry you had to end up wearing the Image Inducer Kurt." Julia frowned apologetically as she sat down next to him at the little table they had been assigned. She had left for drinks, and had returned with a glass of wine and a Heineken; having remembered Kurt was German, Nana Hayle had invested in most of the beers she could locate that looked convincingly German, assuming he was a connoisseur. Julia was pretty certain he drank whatever Logan was buying at the time, but it was a sweet effort on Nana's part.<p>

"It's alright. I vas a little vorried about scaring everyvone out of the party." Kurt's smile was a little feeble. She had, at first, convinced Kurt that it would be okay to go without wearing the hologram, since it was only a small gathering of friends and family. He had been paranoid, but had initially agreed. That said, as soon as he had realized how many people had shown up -nearly one hundred- he had been quick to turn it back on. She couldn't really blame him, but she felt weird going around and introducing her boyfriend; whom she wasn't holding hands with, wasn't hugging, wasn't kissing, in fact, she probably looked like she was avoiding touching him. Which she technically was. She wasn't sure whether she was more annoyed with her obnoxiously-passive powers or the fact that he had to wear the Image Inducer to be comfortable in public. She still wished she had some sort of control over turning her damn powers off once in awhile. Like when she had an orgasm. It was still embarrassing that she almost always ended up completely paralyzing Kurt for at least an hour after they had sex.

She shook her head, realizing she was going off on a mental tangent and turned back to Kurt. "I just wish you didn't have to wear it is all. Nana knows what you look like."

"Ja. Perhaps. But Nana isn't the only vone here." Kurt nodded toward the crowd milling around the large living room, all chatting and catching up. Most of the people here Julia remembered from her childhood, but she was honestly a bit intimidated by the fact they all had families, kids, husbands or wives. Kurt was certainly her idea of family of course, but she felt somehow under-accomplished, considering the broods some of her adoptive siblings had turned up with. And, of course, they all got to be touchy-feely with their significant others in public. Maybe that's what was making her feel bitter.

Kurt touched her knee lightly under the table, where no one would notice his hand turning blue. "Are you okay?"

Julia forced a smile in response. "Yeah. I guess I'm just getting jealous."

"Jealous?" He looked bemused.

"Yeah. I mean, I know it just works better when you wear the Image Inducer, but it makes me feel weird, and alienated, and I just...I don't have to like it. That's all. I don't get to hold your hand or anything and it makes me...sad."

"I know, und I'm sorry, but-"

"I get it," Julia interrupted, not really in the mood to have yet another debate about the Image Inducer. She tried to leave it be, she really did, but it always just irked her when he was using it and she had to keep to a certain radius. "Look, it's just...I'm used to you being more...you. I didn't fall in love with you because you're like everyone else Kurt, physically or otherwise. And it doesn't help that when you _do_ look like everyone else, I have to stay at least two feet away from you. It's not fun on my end."

"Vell, I'm sorry people have a tendency to throw things at me vhen I show up looking like I usually do. I think you're the only vone here that vould find it entertaining to have a fuzzy _damon_ show up to dinner." Kurt's bitter tone of voice conveyed what his face didn't quite manage.

"Look, like I said, I'm only telling you that I didn't fall in love with the guy who looks like Errol Flynn. I fell in love with Nightcrawler."

"Ja, you are the vone who fell in love vith a freakshow _leibling._ Und the Image Inducer von't change that."

Julia's eyes widened, she felt her expression changing to a stricken one. She had never heard Kurt express his sentiments so...bluntly. And the fact that he was still so stubbornly self-depreciating utterly stunned her. She had spent so much time trying to make him believe she loved him as he was, a 'freakshow' as he had just so eloquently put it, and it still...still came down to the fact Kurt wasn't comfortable in his own skin. In public at least. But what about with her...? Did he still feel that way when he was with her?

She felt angry little tears wanting to pool in the corners of her eyes, but she swallowed them and snapped: "Why do you always do that? Why do you always make it about the way you look?" Kurt opened his mouth, as though only just catching onto the fact what he had said upset her, but Julia hardly paused. "Suppose you're right though, aren't you? I am the one who fell in love with a freak. And I just so happen to like you better that way. So what does that make me? On second thought, don't answer that, I don't think I want to know."

"Jyulia-"

She ignored him, rising from the table. "Sorry. I should have just let it be. I'm going to go get more wine." She stalked off, leaving her full glass behind on the table, and feeling the prickling sensation along her skin that meant her powers were acting up. What else was new.

Annoyed, she stamped the energy down, pushing it as far down in the well within her as she could get it. It quelled the imminent transformation, but her skin still felt all tingly; the energy stirring with the turmoil that was her emotion at the moment. She heard Kurt start to follow her, but he gave up quickly, likely not wanting to risk brushing up on someone and having them realize he was fuzzy.

Julia stalked past the kitchen, past Jennifer who gave her a concerned look -but backed off when it didn't break Julia's glower- and to the wine bottles sitting on the counter, pouring herself another glass.

"Idiot," She mumbled, taking a sip. "Stupid Idiot," She added, when merely calling Kurt an idiot didn't make her feel better. Of course, she didn't think he was really an idiot, he just acted so completely like one sometimes.

* * *

><p>"I don't think I like that look." Said a familiar voice from the doorway. Julia glanced up, and made an honest effort to smile for Nana, which she felt must have failed miserably.<p>

"Sorry. I don't mean to be so cranky. Don't worry about me Nana, go enjoy the party."

"I can hardly do that when you've been in here drinking all my wine, and Kurt has disappeared."

"He left?" Julia looked up, then down again frowning. Probably her fault. She couldn't say she had ever honestly called Kurt a freak before, and she hated that she had ended up getting mad enough to say that, even if she hadn't meant it. In fact, she regretted it more and more every drink of wine it seemed.

"Last I saw, he was heading upstairs. After politely declining several offers for company and sitting all by himself for about half an hour." Nana sat on the chair next to Julia. "You fought?"

"I...yeah...kinda. I think he was being stupid. But I wasn't really dealing with it very well."

"What about?"

"The way he looks. Imagine that."

"I...don't think I understand." Nana shook her head.

"I hate it when he wears that thing. I really do. I didn't mind at first because I knew it was what he wanted, but the thing is...my powers mess it up. Make it go away. So I have to stay away from him. I didn't think it was going to bother me this bad, I really didn't, and he's gotten so used to wearing it out and stuff, and I was trying to talk about it, and I was trying to be reasonable, and then he went and threw out this comment about how I would be 'entertained' if he showed up to dinner looking like himself, and I just don't think he has any idea how much that would actually mean to me. I mean, I wouldn't want him to if it made him really uncomfortable, but I don't want him to belittle it like I find the fact people judge him entertaining, because I totally don't." Julia punctuated her rant with a gulp of wine, and looked over at Nana, who was looking at her with an eyebrow raised.

"Did it ever occur to you to tell Kurt this?" She asked.

"I try. But it's never a good time, you know? I think he always ends up feeling like we're having a pity party. Or that I'm just saying stuff that will make him feel better, which I'm not. I honestly mean everything I ever say to him, and it bugs the hell out of me that he won't believe me about certain things." Julia put her head down in her hands, feeling utterly defeated. "If I haven't convinced him by now that I love him blue, I don't know if I'll ever be able to."

"Oh, _mi peque__ñ__a_..." Seemingly at a loss for anything else to say, Nana settled for the endearment and running a comforting hand over Julia's hair. They sat in silence for a moment, and then Nana began to pat her back insistently. "Julia, you may want to look at this."

Bewildered, Julia pulled her head from her hands and glanced in the direction Nana was looking, just in time to hear the collective gasp from a good portion of those standing in the living room.

Kurt was making a determined march in her direction, blue, fuzzy, and holding the Image Inducer in his three-fingered hand.

"Kurt...?" She watched him draw even with her, bemused, and, for obvious reasons, thrilled. He set the Image Inducer on the table, and reached down to grab her hands, pulling Julia to her feet.

"Jyulia, I love you." He announced bluntly, leaning in to kiss her softly, leaning back again. "I vant to marry you. As soon as possible."

Her legs abruptly decided they were made of gelatin. Kurt had just...proposed? In front of all these people that may as well have been strangers to him. And he had done so without any sort of disguise.

"Marry me...?" She blurted, her brain still working on processing the concept. "Kurt...is this like...a serious proposal?"

His lips curled in one of his impish little smiles, though it seemed a touch on the embarrassed side. "_Mein Lieb, _I'm catholic. Please don't mock my marriage proposal, it's serious business you know."

Her brain suddenly catching up with what was happening around her, Julia felt a smile so wide forming on her lips, she wondered if her face might just crack. "If it's serious business, do I get a ring?"

"Of course." He grinned now, obviously less embarrassed, and, still holding her hands, Kurt knelt down now, his tail appearing over his shoulder, the point curled around something. She had a suspicion as to what that something was. He opened her right hand with his, and his tail placed a circle of white gold in Julia's palm.

"Oh...Oh, Kurt, it's gorgeous." The diamond was square cut, and on either side rested an oval shaped black pearl. Kurt had always said they were a stone meant for her, and he seemed to have taken it to heart.

"Vill you marry me, Jyulia?" Any sort of smile had left Kurt's face, replaced by complete and total earnestness.

"Okay, you're seriously an idiot if you think my answer would be anything but yes." Grinning as widely as she was again, Kurt slipped the ring on her finger, and Julia, unable to help herself, launched at him, taking Kurt to the floor with her arms around his neck and her lips pressed firmly on his, mumbling the word 'yes' over and over again. Just in case he hadn't gotten the message the first time.

She had more or less forgotten that they had been in presence of an audience for the whole event until she heard the sounds of clapping over her head. Nana had started a round of applause, enthusiastically joined by Jennifer, and eventually spreading to the whole group, who all appeared to be surprisingly receptive to Kurt being blue.

Then again, she supposed, in their own way, everyone who was here had been an outcast in one form or another, in their own way. And if growing up at Nana Hayle's had taught them anything, it was that love and acceptance was the only thing that could really keep the human race alive. She supposed she shouldn't really be surprised, it was how she had been raised just the same, and in the end, it had earned her a wonderful fiance.

Both now more-or-less flustered and bashful, Kurt and Julia pulled themselves up from the floor, and accepted the rounds of congratulations issued, as well as the many, many questions directed at Kurt.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, they were allowed to escape as the guests began to depart, Kurt teleporting them back to their room before anyone else could pull him aside and ask about how the Image Inducer worked, or whether he shampooed his fur, or another child could grab his tail and give it a yank.

Their feet were barely on the ground before he had pulled Julia close and laid a kiss on her that actually managed to stun her. "That vas amazing," He said simply, his face snuggled close to hers.

"What...what made you decide that it was a good time to propose? And do it without the Image Inducer?"

"I vas...eavesdropping," He confessed, looking suddenly solemn. "I vas vaiting for you to be alone, out in the garden, und I heard vhat you said to Nana, and I just...thought that maybe it vas time to show you that I do believe that you love me blue. I didn't realize you felt like I didn't...I know you're honest vith me Jyulia. And it means more to me then I'll ever be able to tell you."

Julia found herself wanting to laugh and cry at the same time, and ended up giggling while happy little tears blurred her vision. "I love you." She finally said, wrapping her arm around his neck again and pulling him close while she adjusted to the feeling of the engagement ring on her free hand, which reached down to curl around his. "Oh but...will you be able to wear a ring?" She asked suddenly, realizing that finding a ring to fit his unique hands was going to be quite a challenge.

"Ve'll vorry about that later." He dismissed easily. "Ve've got a lot of planning to do."

"And babies to make."

"_Was?" _He looked at her sharply, and Julia smiled.

"Easy there honey. I'm only saying it's the natural progression, we don't have to think about it right now. I just...I want to have kids with you. I want a family of my own too. And now that you've proposed, I won't feel like it's entrapment if I do get knocked up at some point." She grinned brightly, while Kurt seemed stunned beyond knowing what to say in response. "I want to spend my life with you Kurt."

"Maybe I should have let you do the proposing." Kurt smiled, looping his arms around her waist. "I think you're doing a better job _liebling_."

"No...it was sweet. I said yes, so you must have done something right."

"Or you just vant to be able to have sex with me vhenever you vant."

Julia laughed, as usual, finding it amusing when Kurt was uncharacteristically blunt about something. Their sex life in particular. "I don't think you've ever argued. And, your clever little joke aside, I just want to make sure you know what you're getting into. You're going to be stuck with me for life Kurt."

"I can't think of a better vay to spend my life." He smiled down at her tenderly. "But seriously, Jyulia, planning. I vasn't kidding vhen I said I vant to marry you as soon as possible."

She made a pouty face. "More premarital sex first, then planning. Please?"

He made a show of looking thoughtful. "Vell, I suppose it _can _vait until tomorrow..."

"See? Told you that you never argue."


End file.
